The Greek Tycoon's Librarian

Setting the stage, I haven't been feeling well since we got back from New York.  In fact, I came home from work early yesterday and called in sick today.  I am not a fun sick person to be around.  Yes, I'm one of those.  A whiny patient.

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Late at night, My Man lounging in bed, Wendy the Super Librarian doing her nightly ablutions in between praying for death (seriously, do not feel good....)

My Man: You can't make me go back (talking about work).

Me: Well, you can't make me go back  (Did I mention that I act like a 2-year-old when I don't feel well?)

My Man: You have to go back.  You "chose."

(OK, yeah, I chose to go to college to become a librarian - but seriously, I feel like crap right now).

Me: I should have chosen a Greek tycoon.

My Man: Yeah, what were you thinking?  Going for broke and Irish. But do you really think a man like that (a workaholic tycoon) would be capable of giving you a loving relationship?

Me: Love is highly overrated.

My Man: Oh really?  Please.  You'd be an emotional wreck if you were in a relationship like that.

Me: I'd just keep you on the side.  Mikos could support us both!

My Man: Mikos?!  Where the hell do you come up with this stuff?

::pause::

What are you reading right now?

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For the record, I am not reading a Harlequin Presents right now.  Also, in the harsh light of a new day I realize that I really don't want a Greek tycoon named Mikos.  If Harlequin has taught me anything, it's that if you're with a Greek tycoon it's usually because he's 1) blackmailing you to get revenge on your family 2) you're his secretary and after years of ignoring your mousy looks he's finally got the hots for you now that your BFF has given you a make-over 3) you had a hot one-night-stand with him, ended up pregnant, and even though you want to give birth to a bouncing secret baby, he finds out the bun in the oven has his name all over it or 4) you tell him about the baby, he doesn't believe you, and accuses you of being a money-grubbing whore - but he keeps you around "just in case."  Great guy that he is.

Or, let's be honest here, it could be a variation on all four of those.  In which case, oy vei!

My life is already too full and rich to add that kind of drama to it. Plus, even at 100% healthy I'm not sure I'm capable of handling all that.  Seriously, those romance heroines are made of some stern stuff.

Discussing Soggy Bras With My Man

Place: The Bat Cave.   
Time: Sunday morning.   
Cast: Wendy the Super Librarian and Her Man

Me: I need to ask you about something I read a lot in books....
My Man: This isn't about romance novels is it?  Don't you have friends for this sort of thing?
Me: But I need a guy's perspective....

(Explains Soggy Bra Epidemic before he can flee the room)

My Man: Yeah, and.....
Me: Guys actually do that?
My Man: Yeah, and....
Me: Guys like to suck on fabric?!
My Man: Well, Wendy, you don't do it when the girl is wearing just any bra.  It has to be something sheer.
Me: Ahhh, so only sexy bras.
My Man: ::eye roll:: Sheer.
Me: Have you ever done that? ::slightly horrified::
My Man: Well, no. I'm a Push The Bra Out Of The Way kind of guy. Or I wrestle it off her altogether. Uh, but you already know this....

Me: ::tuning him out::  But honestly, what girl walks around wearing sheer flimsy bras that couldn't support ping-pong balls for everyday wear......

Ohhhh.....

(Penny drops, a million light-bulbs flare to life, Wendy catches clue....)

Me: Right, romance novels.  Of course the heroines are always wearing sheer, lacy, flimsy, sexy lingerie.  No other form of undergarments exist in Romance Novel Land.  Duh Wendy.  Like, duh.

Getting Offensive With My Man

My Man knows two things about my blogging: 1) That I have one and 2) that he is occasionally "blog fodder." He doesn't read my blog. Case in point, when my parents were out visiting last month my Dad mentioned Little Miss Crabby Pants and My Man looked at me sideways.

But sometimes I like to run "stuff" past him. He's not a book junkie, and if he was he most definitely would not be a romance junkie - so when I want a non-romance, non-bookie perspective on something, he's my go-to guy.

Last night at the Bat Cave.....

Me: I want to show you my blog post for today. ::showing him the book cover for The Madness Of Lord Ian McKenzie:: Do you think this book cover is "offensive?"

My Man: Wendy, I'm the wrong person to be asking this.

Me: You don't read romance....

My Man: Yeah, but I find next to nothing "offensive."

Me: OK, just pretend for half a second that you're not a deviant.

My Man: Offensive is the wrong word. The cover isn't "offensive," it's provocative. But it's a romance novel. The provocative cover is how you know it's a romance.

Me: But not offensive?

My Man: The problem is that a lot of people think provocative is offensive. They're stupid people, but still....

Me: Ahhh, good point.

My Man: And yes, feel free to make this blog fodder.

Oh he's sweet. Like I needed his permission. Ha!

Movie Night At The Bat Cave

Very minor spoilers ahoy! This has been out on DVD for a long while now - but I'm nice and still warning ya.

Final scene in The Wrestler. Fade to black. Bruce Springsteen starts warbling.

Me: Oh. My. God. This better not be the end or I'm gonna be pissed.

After several moments of black screen, credits start rolling.

Me: Oh. My. God. How much did that suck?

My Man: I liked it.

Me: I didn't end!!!!!!!

My Man: It did so "end." It just didn't end the way you wanted it too.

Dammit. I hate it when he's right.

Me: I didn't end! It just stopped!!!!!!

My Man: Not everything has to be like one of your books Wendy. Life doesn't wrap itself up neatly and tie a bow around itself.

Me: And that, my dear, is exactly what is wrong with the world today.

My Man: Well, I liked it.

Me: Ugh! It didn't "end!"

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Final Thoughts With Super Librarian: The Wrestler is worth seeing if you're an acting junkie. The acting is very good in it. Most noteworthy, Marisa Tomei is particularly wonderful. I told My Man that not many actresses her age would take such a risk playing that part (she spends 95% of the movie naked). To his credit My Man says that not just any actress could. Not just because Tomei is in great shape (she is by the way), but because she can do "vulnerable" really, really well. She's that interesting mix of kick-ass, tough-as-nails Jersey girl, with a soft marshmallow center.

Evan Rachel Wood is also very good here - and one forgets that she's actually a capable actress. I'm always distracted by her on-again, off-again relationship with Marilyn Manson. Besides the icky age difference, that guy is just plain creepy.

Mickey Rourke. Hmmmm, I'm just not seeing this as some great comeback for him. First off, he's been "back" for several years working as a character actor. And I might be in the minority here, but Rourke The Character Actor is way more interesting to me than Rourke The Leading Man. Don't believe me? Check out The Rainmaker, Man On Fire and/or Sin City. Rourke is so good in those parts you actually want to see more of him. Leading man material? Yeah, he's never done all that much for me. That includes 9 1/2 Weeks. For anyone reading this who is under the age of 25? Yeah, Mickey Rourke used to be hot. My advice is to do a shot of vodka, lay down, and put a cool washcloth on your forehead. Yeah, Mickey Rourke used to be hot.

Final Grade = C-. The Acting = B+/A-