Long time blog readers know of the existence of my youngest niece, Lemon Drop. Back in the day she was a regular fixture on this blog, appearing in my, now defunct, monthly reading round-up posts. As my Day Job got more demanding, and more importantly, Lemon Drop hit school age, I felt it was best to retire her from blog appearances. She is now, Lord help us all, 13 years old. I know! And much to my delight, she's a romance reader.
Here's the thing - she likes romance, kissing and sex off page is fine but graphic descriptions are not her thing. She still, quite frankly, finds the thought of the actual act a bit disgusting. I mean, she's 13 - and also I have to admit I find this refreshing given the fact that kids grow up too darn fast these days anyway. So I say, shine on Lemon Drop.
Well, here's the problem. The genre seems to love the idea of slapping illustrated covers on every blessed adult romance being published these days, regardless of tone and/or content. I will preach this with my last dying breathe - cartoon covers convey fun, light, frothy - they do NOT signal angst or hot, graphic smexy times. They just DON'T. So for that reason part of this exchange with my sister enrages me, but I also find it pretty funny because, hello, this is my niece we're talking about. Here's how it went down:
Wendy's Sister: I'm in Lemon Drop's room. I see A Very Merry Meet Cute on her dresser. I read the back cover and see ADULT FILM STAR in the first line of the summary. Um, Lemon Drop, did you start reading this book?
Lemon Drop: No but I think I should sell it. I went to put a bookmark in it so I could start reading and saw a bit that maybe isn't for me.
WS: (opening to the page where the bookmark is and seeing the word COCK). Um, well, yeah, the summary mentioned an adult film star. Didn't you notice that? It means porn, so like there will be sex in this. Probably a bit more graphic than you want.
LD: I thought that just meant a film star in regular movies. Not kids movies!
WS: 😂
Aside from my sister: I reminded her that I'm fine with her reading whatever but maybe I should at least check since she's not really wanting full graphic sex in her books. Gotta love her sweet naïve mind.
Insert Wendy grumbling about cartoon cover trend then "Bless her heart though."
(Wendy aside - Sierra Simone writes HAWT which my sister didn't know but Julie Murphy wrote frickin' Dumplin' for cripes sake which my sister did know and well, here we are)
WS: I just skimmed a page and read "warm hot cunt." I started laughing and Lemon Drop said "Can you stop laughing at my failure?!?" 😂 Seriously, blog fodder. Lemon Drop and smut...
Lemon Drop: Are you gonna let this go? Can't we get past my humiliation for this holy holiday? 😂
WS: Seriously, I'm dying. My kid cracks me up.
Wendy: This is going on the blog for sure.
WS: She's so sweet. Cracks me up. But yes very naïve. Nobody should mess that up or I'll kill them. LOL. I mean, she knows everything but knowing and REALLY knowing are two different things.
Wendy: My Man says enjoy it while it lasts 😂