Telling Tales

What I enjoy about Charlotte Stein's erotic writing is that she's very capable in conveying all sorts of moods.  She's probably best known for the humor she infuses in her work (which I love!), but she can also write gut-wrenching and angsty when the mood strikes her.  Telling Tales features some of her trademark humor, but there are moments of emotional tug-of-war here between the heroine and the primary hero that really made me swoon.  Yes, technically, this is a menage story - but at the end of the day, it's all about Allie and Cameron.

When they were in college, Allie, Kitty, Wade and Cameron spent a lot of time at their writing professor's home.  Now the professor is dead and he's left all four of them his house - with the stipulation they spend one month living there.  Granted that sort of thing wouldn't hold up in court, but they're all tempted and can take the month away from their real lives to relive the past.  Walking through the door also means finally addressing old baggage - most notable being that Allie is hopelessly, desperately in love with Wade.  In college he spent all his time being "friends" with her while shagging every other girl within a 50 mile radius.  Allie isn't the most sexually adventurous person on the planet (she's considered a bit of a prude) but she sees this month-long forced proximity experiment as her chance to finally get Wade to open his eyes and see her.  Instead what she gets is an eyeful of Cameron.  Turns out while she was pining for Wade, Cam was pining for her.  Gee, what do you think is going to happen next?

I love Stein's voice, but her writing style does take some getting used to.  She's a bit stream-of-consciousness and it usually takes me a chapter or so to really sink into her world-building.  The plot here is a little on the thin side (it's never really explained to my satisfaction the professor's involvement in all of this), but if you're a sucker for house-party tropes, this one scratches that itch all while giving you debauched sexual shenanigans.  Dude, how peanut-butter-and-chocolate can you get?

Yes, erotic writers need to write "good sex" - but the very best erotic writers excel at writing "longing."  Stein pulls out all the stops here, especially with Cameron, who you practically bleed for on the page.  I didn't know whether I wanted to lick him from head to toe, hug him or take him home to meet Mom.  He's that delicious.  There are some S&M elements at play here (Cam would be in the M role), but the author doesn't drop the reader exclusively and extensively into that "world."  This is more like two people enjoying each other and finding out what flips their respective switches.  Honestly with the proliferation of "lifestyle" and "sex club" stories, it's really nice to read about two people just having some fun and experimenting on their own.  Because, you know, isn't that usually how this sort of thing plays out in real life, or is everybody a member of an exclusive BDSM club and they just haven't told me yet?

Naturally Wade and Kitty get in on the act, but even with two more partners added to the mix I never felt like the focus was taken away from the growing attraction between Cam and Allie.  Yes, Wade and Kitty are fun - but at the end of the day, Cam and Allie need to man-up and admit what they have with each other.

I wasn't entirely satisfied with the ending (I wanted more blood on the page), but it ends with a lovely happy-for-now and it's entirely believable, in my own imagination, that these two are going to make it.  Cam certainly has some issues (he's not exactly emotionally open), but him and Allie together are better than him and Allie apart.

Final Grade = B

His Hometown Girl

Ahhhh, category romance.  That hot-bed of pulp that inundates the world with sheikhs who have secret babies and amnesia-suffering cowboys.  Why oh why would someone waste their time on such drivel?  His Hometown Girl by Karen Rock, that's why.  For the record, I love my sheikh's with secret babies and those poor amnesiac cowboys, but this particular story?  This is the kind of story that reminds you of what category romance does best.  In other words, it tends to go where single titles don't - and that's a good thing.

Jodi Chapman is a single mom to an autistic son, Tyler, and just about at the end of her rope.  Her son hasn't said a single word since the day her rat-bastard louse of a husband walked out of them a year ago.  She's desperate to get him into this amazing preschool that specializes in helping autistic kids, but when she sees the tuition cost she starts thinking that selling her kidney on the black market may be a viable option.  On top of this, her sleazeball ex has just dropped the bomb that he's suing her to lower his child support payments.  As if him refusing to be a part of his own son's life weren't despicable enough.  How is she going to get Tyler into that school?  Then, like manna from heaven, her boss dangles a carrot in front of her face.  A corporate farming conglomerate, all Jodi has to do is go to her hometown in Vermont and secure 5000 acres for the company.  If she does that, a big promotion with a nice raise is in her future.  A raise that would make Tyler's school tuition more realistic.  The fly in the ointment?  She left Vermont 10 years ago, desperate to break free.  In the process she left behind Daniel Gleason, the boy-now-man who is farming his father's land and is determined to stop her company from succeeding.

Daniel loved Jodi once, but circumstances and the fact they were two dumb kids who couldn't find the right words, drove them apart.  He came home from college to discover the family farm near bankruptcy.  Daniel brought it back from the brink, but now a new threat is at the door - Jodi' company.  And they're not fighting fair.  They don't send some slick suit to take their farms.  Oh no, they send one of their own.  And this "new" Jodi?  She's so different.  Hard.  Brittle.  With traces of the girl he used to be.  Daniel may still care for her, but he's been burned by that fire before.

So when was the last time you read a romance novel that had corporate farming as part of the conflict?  Yeah, exactly.  What I enjoyed about this story was how the author gave me a delicious, angsty romance swimming around conflict that isn't far-fetched.  I also enjoyed that she avoids painting villains with broad-strokes.  For example, it takes a while to get there, but corporate farming isn't all EVIL, EVIL, EVIL!!!!!  Family-run farms aren't all sunshine and rainbows and happy families skipping through the corn fields.  Like 99% of everything in life, there are a lot of shades of grey.  I liked that the author didn't "dumb down" or simplify the conflict that exists between the romantic couple.

Naturally with conflict of this ilk you get an adversarial relationship between hero and heroine.  I'll admit, this kind of thing can be tiring for me as the reader if it drags on too long.  What I liked here is that while Jodi and Daniel are butting heads, they aren't vile about it.  They both realize, in the cold harsh light of day, that maybe they, at times, overstep and wow - they really should apologize for being an asshat.  I also was very, very relieved that even though Daniel feels he's fighting for his life he doesn't drag Tyler into the mess.

I don't have an autistic child, and haven't spent a great deal of time around them, but this aspect of the story rang true to me.  Jodi loves her son dearly, but that doesn't mean every waking moment is champagne and roses.  She feels guilt, she feels helpless, she is really all her son has in this world and she feels like she's failing him every step of the way.

If this story perfect?  Well, probably not.  It is one of those Small Towns Will Save Us All stories, but I liked how the author spins the idea of "home" and "family" really being where the heart is.  I also am, once again, reduced to a throat-clogged-sniffling-mess at the hands of a Karen Rock story.  You understand a woman like Jodi, so overwhelmed but not looking for a white knight to save her (because how often does that really happen?).  She's working to save herself, and that's kind of what she does here.  She confronts her past, she confronts her present and she looks at her future - really looks at it.  In turn, so does Daniel.  Daniel realizes some important things about love, home and family - and how sometimes that's as simple as the person standing next to you, holding your hand.

Final Grade = B

Note: Print copies available direct from Harlequin.  Available digitally at all the usual places.

Angling Towards Danger

The Hero:  Rick Porcello

What You Need To Know:  The 27th overall pick fresh out of high school, Young Mr. Porcello was pitching in the big leagues before he could legally have himself a beer.  He's getting ready to begin his 6th year in the big leagues and the guy just turned 25 years old.  Seriously, wrap your mind around that for just a moment.  Anyway, Ricky has had an up and down career with Detroit, most of which has been attributed to his youth and having to learn as he goes, all while facing down Major League hitters.  He's also what is known as a "ground ball pitcher."  He won't strike out a ton of guys.  He gets guys to swing and hit the ball ineffectually.  Pitchers like Ricky are only as a good as the defense behind them, and Detroit's defense hasn't always been super spectacular - but that should be better this season with a much improved infield (on paper at any rate, we'll see what happens once the season is underway).  He's a Jersey kid, and when the Tigers signed Torii Hunter, Ricky was wearing Torii's preferred jersey number.  Ricky told the veteran he could have the number on one condition - he had to make a donation to Hurricane Sandy relief efforts - which Hunter did.

Also of note, Ricky is constantly rumored to be on the trade block.  Seriously, even as I type this he's rumored to be traded.  But I don't think our GM is going to pull that trigger just yet (we'll see what mid-season brings). I happen to like Ricky.  Yes, power pitches who throw 95 mph are sexy, but that's not the only way to win the game.  Plus, he's a cutie-patootie (Wendy, thou art a dirty old lady).

His Baggage:  OK, sure.  Ricky hasn't exactly lived up to the spectacular hype he generated coming into the draft, but it's not like he's been a vortex of suck.  For his baggage, I'm going to that most wonderful of inventions, the Internet.  What does the Internet tell us about Rick?  He likes to fly fish.  Seriously.  He apparently likes the intensity and solitude of it, which I "get."  Even though baseball is a team sport, being a pitcher is different.  You're one person, out on the mound, all by your lonesome.  Sometimes the game is all on you.  Fishing and pitching, they have a lot in common.

Proposed Category Romance Plot:  After the long grind of the season, he's finally ready to enjoy some time off.  Plus he's more than ready to get away from the trade rumors that constantly seem to follow him.  He's heard rumors of his own, about a legendary fishing guide working in remote areas of Montana.  But chasing the guy down has not been easy, which in this day of cell phone cameras and social media is practically unheard of.  Finally, calling in favor after favor from friends of friends, he's found him.  Sort of.  Turns out "Terry" is short for Theresa.  When flattery doesn't work, he resorts to begging and outright bribery.  Terry agrees to take him out on a fishing holiday, only to find themselves stranded thanks to unseasonable weather and running afoul of some drug smugglers working in the area.  So much of his relaxing holiday.....

The Heroine:  Her old man taught her two useful things: 1) how to live off the grid and 2) how to fish.  Other than that?  She doesn't mourn the man who was like the Unabomber, just without the penchant towards violence.  Living off the grid means she doesn't need a whole lot, and when she does have need for money, she has a few select (in other words, rich) clients who like to fish and pay well.  She's learned that these people are willing to pay handsomely and don't mind confidentially clauses so much because it makes them feel "special" that she's willing to grace them with her presence.  Still, word has gotten around - and she's loathe to take on a baseball player, who is sure to attract attention.  But she needs the cash to get through what is promising to be a harsh winter and the guy is willing to pay her extremely exorbitant (even for her) price.  She can't believe they're stranded now though, all thanks to a storm that turned out to be a lot worse than anyone predicted.  Sure, it had been a while since she'd taken someone to this part of the back country to fish, but damn if drug smugglers didn't find her secluded fishing hideaway.  They're like locusts, and also none too pleased to have their operation found out by a backwoods woman and a professional baseball player.

What Category Romance Line?:  Harlequin Romantic Suspense, with a hat tip to author Jill Sorenson.  Her more recent romantic suspense novels for HQN might have influenced this plot just a wee bit. 

Collision At Home

The Hero: Alex Avila

What You Need To Know:  Born and raised in Florida, he was drafted by the Tigers in the 34th round (seriously, the MLB draft goes on for like three weeks) out of high school.  Alex said thanks, but no thanks and attended the University of Alabama.  He didn't even start playing catcher until he attended the university (trust me, that's really crazy-sauce) and his first catcher's mitt was a gift from Ivan "Pudge" Rodriquez (who Wendy was slightly obsessed with when he was playing for Detroit).  Detroit drafted Alex again in 2008, this time in the 5th round, and he, along with his amazing facial hair, became ours.  Seriously, Google Image search Alex sometime.  One day he'll play a game clean shaven and then the VERY NEXT DAY he's got a FULL beard.  He's like a Chia Pet.

Anyway, he became our full-time catcher in 2011 and had a great year complete with a Silver Slugger award....and then we got 2012.  Injuries.  Lots of nagging injuries.  2013 got off to a very rocky start for him, but he did better in the second half of the season.  We're all hoping for a repeat of 2011 in 2014.

His Baggage:  So you're probably wondering how a college baseball player gets his first catcher's mitt from a future Hall-Of-Famer?  Yeah, nepotism.  Alex is second-generation Cuban-American and baseball is the family business.  Father, Al Avila, is currently assistant general manager for the Tigers and during his scouting days discovered Miguel Cabrera.  Grandfather, Ralph Avila, was in the Dodgers organization for many years and was at the forefront of the Latin invasion of American baseball, setting up scouting operations in the Dominican Republic.  Oh, and granddad?  Born in Cuba and took part in the failed Bay Of Pigs invasion.  Heck, I might need to write up one of these posts for granddad.....

Oh, and did I mention that Tommy Lasorda happens to be Alex's godfather?  Um, yeah.  Seriously, what is Thanksgiving like at the Avila house - ya gotta wonder.

Proposed Category Romance Plot:  He knows how lucky he is, how fortunate he is - to not only grow up living and breathing baseball, but to be surrounded by men who are passionate about the game.  But just because you have a family legacy, doesn't always make things easier.  He's had to work twice as hard, be twice as tough, to prove that he's there for his talent and not as some favor to his father, grandfather or godfather.  He had one really great season, when everything seemed to be coming together, but now he's struggling to get back to that place.  Part of him wants to silence the gossip, to prove he's not a one-year-wonder, while another part of him is wondering if he should listen to his aching body and think about a different career path.  He already feels old before his time and now there's a hot new prospect gunning for his job.

The Heroine:  Do you know how hard it is to be a woman in a man's world?  Yeah, it's not easy - but that's what she's had to contend with working for the scouting department.  She's had to pull twice as many hours, travel twice as much, and head to some pretty crappy areas looking for emerging talent.  Then there are the morons who thinks she's nothing more than a slutty baseball groupie trying to bag a Sugar Daddy.  However she thinks she's finally found The One.  The player that will make everyone shut the eff up - a hot new catching prospect toiling away in the Mexican League.  The kid is a diamond in the rough, but a tiny bit of polish, and he could move up the ladder really quick to
the big club, and she would become a legend in scouting folklore.  No more having to kill herself, no more listening to pointed barbs from colleagues.  She could her punch her own ticket.  Standing in her way?  The hero.  She understands that he's protective of his spot on the roster, but shooting down her evaluation and treating the kid like something he scraped off his shoe?  Well, that's just uncalled for.  She'd love to teach him a lesson in manners....well, just as soon as she's no longer distracted by his cute backside.  Damn him.

What Category Romance Line?:  Cosmo Red Hot Reads.  I can practically hear the verbal sparring, the rapid-fire Tracy-Hepburn dialogue in my head as I type this - and what does that usually lead to?  Yeah, hitting the sheets.  Oh Alex, you naughty, naughty boy!

The Shortstop's Secret Baby

The Hero: Jose Iglesias

What You Need To Know:  Ladies and gentleman, our shortstop.  Our infant shortstop.  Jose began his American baseball career as part of the Boston Red Sox organization and then a couple of things happened: 1) Boston got their hands on another shortstop, Xander Bogaerts, who by all accounts has phenom written all over him and 2) Jhonny Peralta, Detroit's shortstop, got caught up in the Biogenesis scandal.  Jhonny was going to get a 50 game suspension, just nobody knew when because MLB took their sweet time about it.  So our General Manager worked out a three team deal to get Jose in Detroit, and he made his debut on August 2, 2013.  My Man took his first look at Jose and said, "Do you think his Mom packs a lunch for him before he leaves for the ballpark?"  Seriously, looking at cutie-patootie Jose makes me feel like a dirty old lady.  Uh, which I guess I am.  He's starting out the season on the disabled list (he'll be out out 4-6 months ::sob::) and his bat isn't all that great - but man, he's fun to watch on defense - a human highlight reel.  Plus, did I mention he's cute as hell?

His Baggage:  Jose is Cuban and was part of their junior national team.  While they were in Canada, Jose and another player defected.  That's when he signed with Boston.  He asked the Red Sox to place him with an American roommate, he's worked hard on his English, and by all accounts carries himself much "older" than he actually is (gah, he was born in 1990 - I AM a dirty old lady!).  Hey, Cuban baseball ain't no slouch - Jose has pretty much been a "professional" from the time he was a teenager.

Proposed Category Romance Plot:  He wants a better life for himself and his family and that means leaving Cuba, the only home he's ever known.  Being good at baseball gives him the opportunity, and he takes his chance when his team visits Canada.  His only regret?  The girl he left behind.  Now she's here, in the United States, with the young son he didn't know he had.  If that weren't enough to make any guy's head swim?  This woman he still loves had to make a deal with the devil to get herself and Jose Jr. out of Cuba - and now the devil wants what he feels is his rightful due.

The Heroine:  She was so young when she fell in love with Jose and she knew he had to leave Cuba.  He begged her to come with him, but with no resources, no way out, how realistic was that?  Besides, she couldn't leave her grandmother, the woman who raised her, slowly wasting away from the cancer that nobody can seem to fix.  So she says goodbye, she lets Jose go, only to find out a month after he's defected that she's carrying his baby.  When grandma dies, she knows.  Jose Jr. deserves a father, Jose deserves to know he is a father, and none of them deserve Cuba.  So she makes the only choice she feels she can - and once in America, once back in Jose's arms, it's time to pay the piper.

What Category Romance Line?:  Harlequin Intrigue, all the way.  Secret babies have shown up in that line, and I think an action-oriented plot featuring a woman-in-peril and a Very Bad Man will do well.  Hell, now I want to read this....

His Brother's Keeper

Our Hero: Max Scherzer

What You Need To Know: Born and raised in Missouri, he was drafted in the 43rd round (seriously the MLB draft is like 400 rounds) out of high school by the St. Louis Cardinals.  Max said thanks but no thanks and attended the University of Missouri where he was Big 12 Pitcher of the Year in 2005.  In 2006 he was drafted in the first round, 11th overall pick, by the Arizona Diamondbacks.  Max has talent oozing out of his pores, it's been a matter of consistency for him - and in December 2009 he was part of a three team trade that sent him to Detroit and my former boyfriend, Curtis Granderson, to the New York Yankees. 

It started out bumpy for Max in Detroit, and we actually optioned him to our Triple-A team in May 2010 to get him "fixed."  Well, fix him we did (wait a minute, that sounds not-so-good....).  He came back to the big club later that month and hasn't left since.  In 2013 he was the first pitcher to start the season 13-0 since Roger Clemens (boo! hiss!) did it in 1986.  He eventually won the Cy Young award.  Oh, and yes - his eyes are two different colors.

His Baggage: His brother.  Using this family tragedy as fodder for a fictional romance novel does give me serious pause, but in the end I'm including it because I think it's a story every family should hear.  Growing up in Missouri, Max had a younger brother, Alex.  They adored each other, Max being the "sporty kid" and Alex being the "smart kid."  Big things were on the horizon for Alex, who could go into finance or apply to law school.  Sadly though, it never came to pass.  Alex suffered from depression.  His parents got him into treatment - but as can sadly happen with people who suffer from it, depression is a harsh mistress not easily swayed.  In the summer of 2012, Alex lost his battle and committed suicide. 

Max immediately left the team and went home to Missouri.  Two days later, with his parents' blessing, Max made his start against the Pittsburgh Pirates.  The Tigers eventually went to the postseason in 2012, losing to the San Francisco Giants in the World Series.

ESPN ran a wonderful article about the Scherzer family - it's well worth a read.  Just be warned that it will tear your guts out.

Also, USA Today ran this nice article about Max and Mark McGwire leading up to Max being named starter for the AL team in last year's All-Star Game.

The Proposed Category Romance Plot: He's got all the talent in the world, but baseball hasn't always been easy for him.  The one person he could talk to about his game, the one person who was always just a text message away, was his younger brother - and now his brother is gone.  Our hero questions everything, did he miss the signs?  Was there something he could of done?  Haunted by his brother's death, struggling with the question of why, he turns into a machine on the field.  He pushes forward, doesn't look back, determined to do his job and block out the past, if only for a little while.  However there is one person in his life he's leaving behind, one person who desperately wants to be there for him but he keeps pushing away - his fiancée.

The Heroine: Everybody always tells them they make a lovely couple, the pretty girl-next-door and the professional baseball player.  They're the American dream couple.  And then one morning it all comes crashing down when her future brother-in-law is found dead.  Completely out of her depth, with no idea what to do, she spends her days checking in with her future in-laws, to assure them that the hero is doing alright.  He has good days, he has bad days.  But the more he shuts out his grief, the more he pushes past the emotional pain, the more he seems to be pushing her away - and she has no idea what to do - for him, for his family, and for herself.

What Category Romance Line?:  I know, you're all thinking a SuperRomance right?  Certainly that would work - but I'm going with the dark horse here and saying Harlequin Romance.  I know, it would seem odd if you don't read the line that much, but while HR can be bubbly and light?  There are a number of authors who have worked tragic, gut-wrenching stories into the HR world.  Also, I have yet to read a HR that didn't heavily play up the "emotional" elements in the story - honestly, sometimes the "no descriptive sex thing" can work to a story's advantage.

If you or someone you know suffers from depression, please - seek help.  Grab on to it with both hands and don't let go.  There are people who care about you.

Baseball And Harlequin: So Nice I'm Doing It Twice!

Ah, spring.  That magical time of year when you start fantasizing about pedicures, flip-flops and in my case?  Baseball.  Spring brings the promise of a new season, endless possibilities, and the hope that even if it is totally unrealistic?  Your team will win the World Series.

Last year, in an inexplicable burst of creative energy (I probably should have bottled it) - I came up with this great (OK, in my mind) idea to celebrate the return of baseball, America's pastime, by putting unsuspecting players for the Detroit Tigers in Harlequin category romances.  Because what does Wendy possibly love more than the Tigers and Harlequins?  Not a whole lot.  Plus, I didn't get sued last year - so decided why not press my luck?

For those of you who missed last year's extravaganza, here is a recap:

Miguel Cabrera in The Venezuelan's Sexy Bodyguard (Harlequin Presents)
Justin Verlander in Bring the Heat (Harlequin Blaze)
Prince Fielder in Daddy Doesn't Love Me (Harlequin SuperRomance)
Phil Coke in Good Time Phil (Harlequin Kiss)
Austin Jackson in Action Jackson (Harlequin Desire)
Victor Martinez in The Single Dad's Home Run (Harlequin Special Edition)

Six players, and Prince Fielder is the only one not on the current roster (having been traded to the Texas Rangers in the off-season).  At this rate I might run out of players - just not this year.  So sit back, relax and get ready to enjoy a return to my insanity all this week.  Same rules as last year - I'll take a kernel of truth about the players, mix in an exorbitant amount of fiction, and viola!  Four new players, four new stories, all new lines.  And yes, y'all are getting a secret baby this year.....

The Month That Was February 2014

Me:  Um, wow.

Lemon Drop:  I will have you know Auntie Wendy that I picked out this stylish outfit all by myself.

Me:  Well, yeah.  Obviously.

Lemon Drop:  Of course it's obvious!  Mommy is, like, hopeless when it comes to fashion.

Me:  Well you certainly look....colorful?  Yeah, let's go with colorful.

Lemon Drop:  Let's get this show on the road, Mommy and I gots shopping to do!

Me:   Well, yeah.  Obviously.

Title links will take you to full reviews.

Portrait of a Scandal by Annie Burrows - Historical romance, Harlequin Historical, 2014, Grade = C+

• Slow beginning, dynamite middle, tacked on conflict that annoyed at the end.  Loved the Paris setting, loved the business-woman heroine.  Also, hero is fourth son of earl, which is something a little different from the usual proliferation of dukes.

Confessions of a Secret Admirer by Jennifer Ryan, Candis Terry and Jennifer Seasons - Contemporary romance anthology, Avon Impulse, 2014, Grade = D+

• You know how some readers complain about the proliferation of small-town contemporaries?  Um, yeah.  Ryan story = series-itis and it's a prequel novella!  Terry = nice enough but if you're a female character who isn't a heroine watch out!  Seasons = Cute story but a hero who talks like no guy, anywhere.....ever.  Unless he's your 85-year-old grandfather.

Tempts Me by Megan Hart - Part 1 of erotic romance serial, St. Martin's, digital only, 2014, Grade = B

• Sets up the serial, introduces the main characters and like all Hart stories - you get hooked by the characters.

The Initiation of Ms. Holly by K.D. Grace - Erotic romance, Sourcebooks, 2014, Grade = C

• Sex, sex, sex and more sex.  A thin plot, but enough to keep the whole thing going.  What wasn't there?  Character development.  What are these people thinking?  What are they feeling?  Why are they making the choices they are?

His Best Friend's Baby by Molly O'Keefe - Contemporary romance, Harlequin SuperRomance, 2006, Grade = B-

• My TBR Challenge read of the month.  I did think the romance got lost at times with all the delicious angst flying around and that knocked my grade down a bit.  But dang, O'Keefe writes emotion and angst and desire and longing and.....well, everything.....so well.  I inhaled this.

Flashes of Me by Cynthia Sax - Erotic romance novella, Avon Impulse, digital only, 2014, Grade = F

• Telling me the heroine is smart doesn't make her smart.  A bag of rocks has more going for it.  Also, lumpy writing.  Nothing I liked here.

Resists Me by Megan Hart - Part 2 of erotic romance serial, St. Martin's, digital only, 2014, Grade = B

• What I loved about this second installment was how confident the heroine was.  Love her!  Hart is slowly peeling the layers back on her characters and I'm hooked.

The Fall of a Saint by Christine Merrill - Historical romance, Harlequin Historical, 2014, Grade = C

• God bless Merrill, I read her books because I never know what crazy-sauce she's going to throw into the recipe.  This one asks the question - did the hero, in fact, rape the heroine?  I'm still not sure.

More Than She Expected by Karen Templeton - Contemporary romance, Harlequin Special Edition, 2014, Grade = B

• What I love about Templeton's books is how she gives us all this wonderful romance that features "normal" people.  Younger hero starts helping out his newly signal, pregnant, and slightly older than him next-door-neighbor.  

Lemon Drop:  I look fly, I look good....

Me:  Really, Chamillionaire?  

Lemon Drop: Chuck Taylor's killing, Adidas still grooving.....

Me: I just can't even.

Hard and Soft Boiled

I've had a couple of book-related posts go live on other blogs over the last several days.  First up, a First Look over at Heroes & Heartbreakers of Karen Templeton's latest Harlequin Special Edition, More Than She Expected.  The second book in her new Jersey Boys series, like all good Templeton stories it starts out quietly but packs a big emotional punch.

And after you get your warm fuzzy romance fix?  Head on over to Criminal Element where I'm offering up a look at Loren D. Estleman's latest Amos Walker crime novel, Don't Look for Me.  A missing wife, an alternative medicine shop fronting a drug smuggling operation, the mafia, and a little bit of the porn industry thrown in for some flavor.

TBR Challenge 2014: Natural Law

The Book: Natural Law by Joey W. Hill

The Particulars: BDSM erotic romance, Ellora's Cave, 2004, In Print, Book two in a series but very easily stands-alone.

Why Was It In Wendy's TBR?:  I've made no secret with how bored I am by BDSM erotic romance.  It's always the same thing over and over and over again.  Asshole "hero" who claims to be a Dom (but is just an asshole) schools an innocent ingenue-type who couldn't figure out why she was so dissatisfied with her boring little vanilla life until the Asshole told her she was a submissive.  Damn, it all makes so much sense now!  This book by Hill is often held out to people like me who want to read about a Domme heroine.  Not a Domme heroine who secretly wants to be a sub.  Not a Domme heroine who is a switch.  Not a Domme villain.  No, a Domme heroine.  So naturally when I got a gift card from my in-laws last Christmas, I bought this book.  Because, you know, what else would I buy with a gift card from my in-laws?

The Review:  Mackenzie "Mac" Nighthorse (seriously?) is a homicide detective.  He's also a submissive.  There's a killer on the loose in Tampa, who is trussing up her (yes, he's convinced it's a her) victims in various "humiliating" bondage scenarios.  Mac knows it's not humiliation though, and knows it's a Domme.  So he convinces his superior officer to send him undercover at The Zone, an exclusive BDSM club where Mac thinks his perp is trolling for victims.  A regular cop would get made in 2 seconds.  But Mac is a sub and knows the world.  He needs some help on the inside, someone who knows the scene, is friendly with a lot of members - and he lands on Violet Siemanski, a Mistress who has just completed her mentoring program and is stepping out on her own for the first time.  She scares the shit out of Mac, but not because she's a Domme.  Hardly.  No she scares the shit out of him because she wants all of him  - even all that messy emotional stuff he's been able to keep hidden from other Dommes, until her.  Until Violet.

I'm probably going to be too hard on the set-up here especially since a true Domme heroine is as rare as hen's teeth - but of course!  Of course Violet wouldn't be an "experienced" Domme.  Of course she's just stepping out on her own for the first time!  And of course Mac is a sub, but don't worry your pretty little heads romance readers - he's still a pit bull straining his lease.  He's only marginally housebroken.  He might be a sub, but it's OK!  He's still Alpha!  You know just like a "normal" romance hero!  You can like him even though he's a sub!  He's OK!  You're OK!  We're all OK!

/End Rant

So yeah, that kind of annoyed the crap out of me.  Yes Mac is a sub, but other than that?  He's like countless Alpha cop heroes that have come before him - and I'll be blunt - I found that a little disappointing.  OK, maybe a lot disappointing.....

That being said, even though that above scenario is littered with land mines, the author avoids taking this story down a path that would make Wendy Mad!  Wendy Smash!  Violet calls Mac on pretty much all of his bullshit.  She sees right through his charm.  She sees how he has used that charm to keep other Mistresses at arm's length.  And Violet knows that to make this relationship work the way she hopes it will?  Mac needs to be stripped down, dismantled, and put back together.  The trick will be getting him to let go.  To let go of everything.

I've been reading erotic romance for a lot of years and BDSM has never been a "favorite" trope for me.  Mostly because very (and I mean, very) few authors seem to get the dynamic right.  Yes, it's a fetish.  Yes, it's a lifestyle.  But you know what?  The BDSM relationship is built entirely around trust.  Hill is the first author I've read in a long time that really seemed to address that issue.  I felt like these characters were really "in" the scene - not just playing around in it like so many bored playboy billionaires and dissatisfied 20-year-old little girls.  Honestly, give the recent explosion of BDSM within the erotic romance market, it's stupefying to me that this book is now 10 years old.  I don't throw "ahead of its time" around all that much - but damn, this book was.  Hell, it's revolutionary now in 2014 - and Hill got this story published in 2004.  It's been a decade, so I think it's safe to lay down the gauntlet.  The next time someone asks my opinion on trailblazers in erotic romance?  Or perhaps they want a list of "classics?"  Yeah, this book.  Totally.  I have quibbles, make no mistake - but damn - 10 years ago!

As for those quibbles?  For one thing, the suspense angle could have been dispatched with entirely.  For 3/4 of the story the author isn't really addressing it - it's all about the relationship between Mac and Violet.  Hell, why not just write this like a traditional romantic story-arc?  Leave the serial killer at home?  There was more than enough on the page here, re: the romance, to make this story work.  As it was, it just felt a little too long.  And when we do get back to the serial killer?  None of that really worked for me, right down to the climactic finish where there are elements straight out of Cheesy Soap Opera 101.

But you know what?  Hill has written other books in this universe featuring characters that were mentioned in this story.  I'm positively intrigued by a few of them - which means once again the TBR Challenge is counterproductive.  I'm probably not going to read the entirety of the series, instead picking and choosing, but I will read more books by Hill.

Final Grade = B-

For His Eyes Only

For His Eyes Only by Liz Fielding is a book I really wanted to like. Looking at the concept, on paper, I probably should have loved it.  The hero is an artist (a sculptor) driven to distraction by the heroine's bootylicious curvaceousness.  The heroine is a career-minded, driven, go-getter who has been burning the midnight oil to get a coveted promotion at the upscale real estate agency where she works.  It seems great, on paper, right?  Except when it isn't.  This is one of those books that gets off on the wrong foot with me and never quite recovers.

Natasha Gordon has been charged with selling Hadley Chase, one of those monstrous English "country" homes that could easily house eight families of 5.  There's only one Hadley left, and he needs to sell the house thanks to various taxes and such he is ill-prepared to fork over.  So Natasha does what Natasha does best - and that is to start drumming up interest in various magazines, real estate rags etc.  Except when the final copy rolls out in the pages of the most notable glossy publication?  Yeah, it's all about how Hadley Chase is a falling down dump.  What the hell?  Natasha didn't approve any of this!  And yet when her boss goes checking up on how such an egregious error could be committed?  Everybody, and I mean everybody, throws Tash under the bus.  Her boss suggests, strongly, that she check herself into a local rehab facility because she's "obviously" suffering from exhaustion.  This is, naturally, code for "damage control."  Tash knows the truth though, someone set her up to take a very nasty fall and she's damned if she's going to make things easy for her bosses especially since their rehab "solution" has smeared her good name all over town.  Nope, she's just going to have to sell Hadley Chase all on her own.  A neat trick that first requires her to get back into Darius Hadley's good graces.

Darius is an artist and the house holds nothing but shoddy memories for him.  He just wants it gone, and now thanks to that bumbling Natasha Gordon he's likely going to be stuck with the albatross around his neck for a good long time.  Except when he should be sticking pins in a Tash voodoo doll, he's instead drawing her from memory.  Completely captivated by her, just itching, dying, to sculpt her.  And here he thought muses were nothing more than urban legends.  He can't get the delectable, albeit obviously incompetent, Natasha Gordon out of his mind - and as if by magic, here she is, in his studio, offering up a proposition.  She'll sell the hell out of Hadley Chase.  He eventually agrees, on one condition.  He wants her naked.  Darius Hadley is going to sculpt her, in bronze, and for that?  She's going to have to sit for him.  Naked.  As the day she was born.

This story opens with Natasha getting called to the carpet by her boss for the disastrous press regarding Hadley Chase.  Natasha's answer to this is to banter.  Joke about it.  And then when Darius walks into her boss's office, naturally extremely pissed off, Tash's brain flies out the window and she's turns into a giant puddle of oozing female hormones unable to string a sentence together.  All because a hot guy walks into her boss's office while her boss is calling her to task.  Oh, and there's that flushing sound in the background of her career going down the toilet, and yet Tash stands there tongue-tied.  And when she's not tongue-tied?  She keeps on trying to joke the problem away.

Really?  I mean, really?!?!?!?!!?!?  This is a woman whom I'm supposed to believe is so killer at her job that her bosses are ready to hand her partnership?  That she's been burning the midnight oil to move up the ladder?  And yet when her career is literally flailing on the floor at her feet, as everything she's worked extremely hard for is circling the drain she's....distracted by some hot guy in her boss's office?  Where's the denial?  Where's the outrage?  No when Tash finds her Big Girl Words she merely, jokes about it all?  Really?  I mean, really?!?!?!??!?!?!  She thinks banter is going to save her bacon?

How can I possibly take this girl seriously?  I can't.  That's the problem.  Tash gets off on the worst sort of foot and even though things do get better the deeper we go into the story - I just can't get past my first impression - which is that Tash is a little girl wearing grown-up clothes.

And no matter how hard I try to "let it go" - I can't.  Even when this book follows the "it gets better as it goes along" formula.  I'm stuck with that first impression and I spend the rest of the story....not really caring.  No matter that good stuff follows.

The good stuff being the chemistry between Tash and Darius, and their requisite baggage.  Darius has all the trapping of a "poor little rich boy" - but I really liked that the author gave his angst a different bit of spin.  Also, Tash spent her childhood essentially wrapped up in blankets, protected and doted on to the point of stifling.  I enjoyed seeing these two get together and talk about their pasts.  Definitely the highlight of the story was reading about them opening up to each other, and I especially loved the small glimpses we get into Darius' "artist" world - those moments when he's working, even if he might just be scribbling or doodling, were a nice touch.

But I just can't get past the set-up.  Because no matter what happens after that point, the seed has been planted.  Yes, maybe Tash will have some good ideas for selling Hadley Chase, but then there was that time when her career was dying and she got flummoxed by the hot guy standing there to witness the death throes.  Yeah, I just can't.  This story still has the requisite charm and verve I expect out of a Fielding story, it just flubbed on the execution for me.

Final Grade = C

Reminder: TBR Challenge for March

For those of you participating in the 2014 TBR Challenge, this is a reminder that your commentary is "due" on Wednesday, March 19.  This month's theme is New-To-You Author.  That means picking up a book from an author you've never read before.  However, remember - the themes are totally optional and are not required.  Maybe you're having a rotten month and you need a comfort read from an author who is a known commodity?  Hey, that's OK!  It's not important what you read, just that you pull something (anything!) out of the TBR pile.

It's also not too late to sign up for this year's challenge.  For more details, please see the information page.

On The Road With Ranchers & Historical Romance

I know, I know.  Here I am popping up on my blog again to tell you that I'm some place else.  In my defense, there's stuff going on in Wendy's Real Life.  Good stuff, great stuff - just stuff that I can't talk about yet and hope to be able to shout from the hill-tops next week.  Which means....yeah, blogging inspiration is at a low ebb.  Well, at least around here.  I do have two posts over at Heroes & Heartbreakers right now.

First up, I discuss a pivotal moment in Donna Alward's excellent category romance, Her Rancher Rescuer.  Go on over, read all about it, then maybe reread my "A" review for it - and then, like, you should totally want to read it for yourself.

Next up, "my" list of unusual historicals for March.  I use the term "my" loosely since I was having a devil of a time getting this list together.  But never fear!  So many wonderful Twitter peeps bailed me out and came to my rescue.  Hence, the title of the post.

Thank God For Country Boys

I'm over at Heroes & Heartbreakers today 'shipping about Justified's Raylan and Boyd. 

Because really?  What is sexier than a two men with extensive vocabularies?  Not a whole lot.  Says me.  These two guys just need to stop playing around and admit that the chemistry they have together is way hotter than the chemistry they have with any of the women on the show.

Head on over to read all about 'em, and look at more yummy, yummy pictures.

Secrets At Court

I know authors loathe the term "wallpaper historical," but I've always found it an apt description, assuming the term is used correctly.  For me, a book that is "wallpaper" is one with no clearly defined world building.  That is to say the author tells you the story is a medieval, but it lacks so much flavor that it might as well take place in Regency London, post-Civil War America, or on the moon.  When I read a historical romance I want the author to give me a story that is entrenched in the era they are writing about.  When I'm reading a medieval, I want a medieval thankyouverymuch.  Which is why I could kick myself in the teeth for not reading a Blythe Gifford book sooner.  Secrets at Court is very clearly a medieval - a darn good one at that.

Anne of Stamford knows how lucky she is, in theory.  Born with a lame foot and leg, she is well aware that her life could be spent either in a nunnery or begging in the streets.  Instead she is a lady in waiting to Joan, the Fair Maid of Kent.  Joan keeps her around for a couple of reasons 1) she has secrets Anne could expose and 2) being "lame" Anne is never really "seen" by most people.  That is to say Anne is pretty darn great at ferreting out court intrigues - and Joan has plenty of secrets, most of which involve her addiction to marrying men in secret.  Now she has fallen in love with Edward, the Black Prince, they marry in secret with Anne as a witness, and then after the fact try to get the Vatican's blessing.  The fly in the ointment?  Joan has been married before - twice.  The church having already untangled one of her messes.  The other is that Joan and Edward may be too closely related for the church to bless the union.  Well, no matter.  We're talking royalty after all, why should rules apply to them?  So Edward dispatches a knight, Sir Nicholas Lovayne, to deal with these few remaining minor details.

Nicholas is bloody well tired of dealing with the whims of his betters, but you cannot very well say no to a prince.  He just wants to get the whole mess sorted so he can pack his bags and head back to France, or Italy, or wherever the wind takes him.  Nicholas is a man with no ties, very few possessions, and has spent his life at war.  It's the way he likes it - until he meets Anne, a woman who intrigues him like no other.  But little does he know that the tempting Anne has entered into his orbit at the behest of her lady.  Because Joan has secrets that Nicholas can never, ever, be allowed to uncover.

There is no mistaking this story for a medieval.  It's a medieval down to the marrow.  There's the court intrigue, the politics, the incredible importance of the Vatican and the Pope, plus the keen sense of value placed on loyalty.  Loyalty was everything.  Loyalty either let you live or got your killed, depending on which side you were on (hopefully the winning one!).  Loyalty literally meant life or death - and the author does an excellent job of conveying all of this within the framework of her fictional story.

What I loved about the romance is that both Anne and Nicholas felt they were "lesser than" for entirely different reasons.  They are two lost souls who feel they are unworthy of love, marriage, and happiness - but for their own unique reasons:

Joan:

"A man might wed a plain woman for money or because she could help raise children and run the household.  He might bed a beautiful one for love or lust.  But a lame one was of little use to anyone.  Except, perhaps, to God."

Nicholas:

"The truth was, he had nothing to offer her, or any woman, but a strong right arm and a nimble brain.  All he had to show for thirty-one years on this earth was the horse beneath him and the armour on his back."

And when these two people get together?  When they succumb to their attraction?  You get beautiful moments like this one - where Anne literally teaches Nicholas to open his eyes and see - see the details all around him:

'You must promise me something.  You must do it for me.  When you leave, when you go back to France and Italy and the rest of the world, look at it twice as hard.  Look at it for yourself and then look at it for me.  Look at every leaf and stone and bit of coloured glass and every wave.  And know that I will think of you.  That I am here, imagining all the wonders the world holds.'

It's everything I want out of a good medieval.  It gives me the strong sense of time and place, with intriguing, damaged characters lugging around enough burdens to make them interesting.  If you love medievals this is a must read or if you just need a historical romance palate cleanser?  Look no further.  This is a very good story that will take you out of the Regency ballroom for a change.

Final Grade = B+

Wendy Tackles Hype - Again

Every so often a discussion crops up in Romancelandia about "hype."  How we hate it, how we're sick of it, how we wish sometimes we could turn off the noise and read in our comfy little bubbles.  This is a dream I don't have, mostly because with my day job it's totally unrealistic.  As a librarian working daily with collection management - you cannot turn off the hype machine.  Those books that grab the general public by the throat and suddenly they morph into what I call Books That Won't Die.  When it comes to books of this nature I tend to not read them, until finally curiosity gets the better of me and I check them out on audio.  My actual "reading time" is pretty well booked thanks to the slight romance novel addiction I have, but audio?  My listening tends to be more eclectic.  It's how I "read" The DaVinci Code three years after everybody else (OMG - the info dumping!  Please someone stop the info dumping!) and The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (Bloated and in need of a blood-thirsty editor).  So naturally I would eventually get around to Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn, which I finally wrapped up over the weekend. 

Now this isn't going to be a traditional review, mostly because I figure I'm the last person to read it.  Also, I'm going to try to avoid spoilers, but um, yeah.  So what did I think?

It was OK, I guess.  I'm torn over this book.  Mostly because I recognize it as "good," but it also kind of pushed a lot of literati vs. genre hot buttons for me.  Frankly, it strikes me as the sort of book that "literary" types can read and then say, "It's really a deep examination of the institution of marriage and the complexities of such unions between two flawed individuals.  So see, it's totally OK that I'm reading this book because it is far superior to "so-called" genre fiction."  Sniff, sniff, disdain, disdain, sarcasm = Wendy wants to punch someone in the face.

I'd argue that if Flynn had written it as a genre book it would have been better - but what the hell do I know?  Basically this is a story about two vile, narcissistic people who are married to each other.  I don't like them, but I cannot deny that I couldn't stop listening to it even when about halfway through I still tempted to DNF it.  I totally give mad props to the narrators, Julia Whelan and Kirby Heyborne, who are beyond excellent.  This is a fabulous production and I'm more than half convinced they're the reason I got past the point of no return and had to finish the book.  If you are curious about this book and like audio?  Yeah, this is the way to go.  A coworker recommended it and she was totally right.

So the story itself?  Well, I saw the twist coming.  I just did.  I also liked how the author made me, at one moment, like a particular character and in the next moment?  I thought they were pure evil.  So the complexities of the characters are extremely well done.  One of the big reasons I enjoy genre fiction is that ability to crawl around inside a character's head.  Flynn does a great job of that in this book and it's pretty addictive.

The movie version is currently in post-production.  I will say this - the casting looks amazing.  They did a really great job, at least with getting the actors with the right look.  The big brouhaha is, of course, that the director has changed the ending.  Um, newsflash - of course he did.  Why?  Because the current ending sucks.  You cannot have that ending in the movie.  Heck, I'm not sure the ending really works for the book (hence my literati comments above).  David Fincher did direct the US movie version of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, and drastically altered the ending from the book - for the better, I think.  An instance where I felt that the movie was better than the book (Fincher cut out a lot of the book's bloat and made the ending more suspenseful, says me).  So yeah, I'm totally on board to see what he does with Gone Girl. 

I'm not sure where that leaves me as far as final impressions.  I want to say "average" - but even I can recognize that what Flynn has done with her writing and characterizations is stellar.  I just wanted it to be a true genre suspense novel and not some high-flautin' navel-gazing critique on marriage masquerading as a suspense novel.  So we'll split the difference.

Final Grade = B

Final Note: You know who I would totally recommend this book to?  Single people who are "unhappy" and depressed about their single status.  Seriously, read this book.  You will never be depressed about being single ever again.  Ever.  Again.