"What the hell? There's that crazy woman in the cape and tiara again. Every year, it's the same story here in Anaheim. I'm in the on-deck circle, minding my business, and there's that crazy woman waving her panties in the air and starring at my spectacular
assbutt. I might have to talk to my lawyer about getting a restraining order. Hey, wait a second - she looks drunker than usual this year....."
That's right Pudge! Despite the exorbitant cost of alcohol at the ball park, I very likely will be more drunk this year. Cuz, you Tigers are really starting to yank my chain. And not in a good way. I'd boycott attending the game today, but dang I paid too much for the tickets not to use them and I never miss the opportunity to look at your fine backside in person. Yeah, I really can be this shallow. Hey, what do you want from me? Y'all are playing like shit. I have to have something to look forward to, and your butt is it pretty boy.
And crap on a cracker - Kenny Rogers is pitching. That's it. I'm chugging a six-pack in the parking lot.
Viva la Memorial Day!