Review: The Librarians

This was not good.

I know what you're thinking. The Librarians was written by Sherry Thomas, how can it not be good? 

Folks, trust me - this was not good. I can say with 100% certainty had I tried to read the languishing ARC I had on my Kindle it would have been a DNF. As is, I cannot believe I didn't DNF the audiobook. I have no excuse for this other than it was Sherry Thomas and surely it couldn't be this bad, could it?

Narrator: it was, indeed, that bad.

The story takes place in a suburb of Austin, Texas at a branch library of the Austin Public Library. The staff includes: Sophie, the branch manager, and lesbian single mom; Jonathan, a librarian, former standout high school athlete, former Navy man and gay; Astrid, another librarian who for completely inane reasons presents herself as Swedish, right down to a fake accent and Hazel, the new library clerk who used to live in Singapore but moved to Austin to help take care of her grandmother after her husband was arrested for financial shenanigans. 

It's a couple days before Halloween and the library is gearing up for it's first ever game night (as in board games) and it turns out to be a success - that is until after hours that same night, two people are found dead. The first one is Perry, a British man who had a "situationship" with Astrid before he ghosted her and just recently returned to the scene of that crime, and another woman who had attended game night and whose appearance left Sophie (who has plenty to hide...) all spun up. 

The plot doesn't go anywhere for the first 50% of the book. What happens in that first 50%? Basically it's a big ol' character study, complete with shifting points-of-view, internal musings, and a non-linear timeline, complete with flashbacks. Boring. What it is is boring. 

Then at 50% the two dead bodies thing ramps up with enough police pressure that the characters end up sitting down, spilling their various secrets, and decide to play Scooby Doo, without the talking Great Dane bit. I think what Thomas was shooting for here was a Secret Lives of Librarians vibe, but it's all just so boring and clunky. The pop culture references are especially lumpy and egregious. Seriously, don't play a drinking game with this book and Game of Thrones references - you'll be dead from alcohol poisoning before you get to the final chapters.

This could work if you find the characters compelling, but only Jonathan and Hazel manage to elevate themselves to marginally interesting. Sophie is a panicked mess for the entire book and Astrid is so twee you just want to smack her into next Tuesday. Seriously, she fakes being Swedish - it's all just so...stupid. Astrid, girl, you know why you don't have any friends? Because you smell like desperation after it's rolled in a hot mess. And after a while even Jonathan gets to be too much. Look, I bought the former Navy thing but there's a throwaway bit near the end where we find out he was a NAVY EFFIN' SEAL. Y'all, if this guy was a SEAL start calling me Your Majesty because I'm the Queen of England. I'm not saying gay men can't be SEALs, what I am saying is Jonathan as a character carries himself through life with all the confidence of wet tissue paper. He barely carries himself like former military let alone a NAVY EFFIN' SEAL! 

It all turns out right as rain in the end and Thomas even gives readers two romantic storylines, which are nice inclusions but honestly a detriment to the mystery which hinges on a pile of coincidences. As I sit here typing this up I still can't tell you why I didn't DNF this. Honestly, that would make a more compelling mystery.

Final Grade = D

Library Loot Mini-Reviews: Grifters, Tragedy and Second Chances

 I've hit a spat of decent reads lately, which is a good thing since so far 2021 is looking like my 3-Star reads are going to outpace my 4-Star reads (ugh, this always depresses me).  I'm still in the throes of "obligation reading" but in between I've been picking up books and audiobooks via The Day Job and that's where my recent hits have been.

Confident Women: Swindlers, Grifters, and Shapeshifters of the Feminine Persuasion by Tori Telfer is an engrossing listen on audiobook and the kind of true crime book I'd recommend to folks who 1) like true crime but 2) don't want a bunch of serial killer gore.  Telfer breaks down her chapters by "types" of female grifters: The Glitterati, the Spirituals, the Drifters etc.  She delves somewhat into what fascinates us about con artists (especially female con artists...) but it's not a deep dive psychological treatise.  This is very much a book for the layperson. 

For Romancelandia I highly recommend this book because there's a chapter on the woman who grifted Jude Deveraux and whoa doggie - it is A. STORY!  I left that chapter feeling very sorry for Deveraux, who comes off as a very unhappy and lonely woman (during that time).  Even before the tragic death of her young son, her ex-husband comes off as a sack of human garbage.  I've had the pleasure of meeting Deveraux once, when I'm pretty sure I babbled like a moron.  After this book, if I met her again, I'd have to hold myself back from engulfing her in a hug.

Final Grade = B

Monday's Not Coming by Tiffany D. Jackson was another listen/read on audio that I picked up as it was billed as a YA suspense novel. Set in Washington D.C., Charlotte returns from a summer trip to Georgia ready to start her final year of middle school.  Her BFF, Monday Charles, didn't write all summer - which is weird because they promised to write each other.  Now it's the first day of the 8th grade and Monday isn't there.  She's also not there the next day, or the next day, or the next day.  Worse still?  Nobody seems overly concerned about Monday's vanishing act except for Charlotte.  She goes to every grown adult we tell kids to go to when they suspect there is trouble: she tells teachers, her parents, she even goes to Monday's house and is roundly dismissed by Monday's piece of crap mother.  As the year wears on and Monday is still "not here" - Charlotte finds herself struggling.

A truth universally acknowledged is that teen readers tend to love tragedies and this book is the very definition of a tragedy.  It's hard to write a review for a book where almost everything is a spoiler, but I think it's fairly safe to say that things don't end well for Monday.  There's some pretty disgusting bullying at school (the popular rumor is that Monday and Charlotte are lesbians, which is seen as gross and shocking to the student population because kids are the literal worst), and also abuse.  I ugly-cried my way through probably the last 25% of this book.  

The writings structure is interesting - Jackson time-hops between "The Before," "The After" and "A Year Before The Before" so you get real time and flashbacks.  So even though Monday is never on page in the present, you still feel as the reader that you're getting to know her - which makes the impact of the finale that much more powerful.

A final note that as difficult and tragic as this story is to read, I appreciated that the author crafted a stable family unit for Charlotte but didn't make it all sunshine and roses.  She has two parents who love her, but her mother also has a history of miscarriages which casts a long shadow.  I can't think of any of my Romancelandia friends going for this book (it's a tragedy), but it's dynamite - truly.  

Final Grade = A

Not Quite A Husband by Sherry Thomas was a book club pick for my monthly Zoom chat with my "book girlies."  Byrony Asquith is a female doctor in Victorian London - practical, pragmatic, and aloof.  So it's a shock when she proposes marriage to Leo Marsden, Golden Boy Renaissance man.  The sun rises and sets on Leo basically.  However their marriage barely lasts the honeymoon, an annulment is granted, and Byrony essentially runs away - hitting one distant locale after another until she finally lands in middle-of-nowhere India.  That's where Leo finds her, sent by Byrony's half-sister to bring her home to London because their father is ill.

First things first, I love late Victorian era and Thomas can write her face off.  Also, I'm a sucker for a great marriage-in-trouble / second chance romance plus Byrony is older than Leo (4 years, I think?).  So there's a lot here I'm inclined to love.  So what's the problem?

Well, there's a heaping ton of dubious consent in this book - most of it occurring in the flashback scenes with Leo creeping into his wife's bedroom to have sex with her while she sleeps (yes, really) - this being after she's made it known that she's not terribly welcoming of his "attentions."  Then there's the story behind why their marriage failed - it's...wow. The hero isn't much of a hero for that and quite frankly I wanted Byrony to leave behind scorched Earth. I also felt for the first half like I was missing half of this story.  OK, so I haven't read the first book (Delicious) but given the hero in that book is a former boss for Leo's brother - like, how much could I have possibly been missing by reading out of order? (My guess? Not much).

But, here's the thing - this gets better the further I got into it and Thomas writes so well.  There's a scene at the end between the heroine and her father that is pure gold.  We find out that Leo had a thing for Byrony since they were kids (they grew up on neighboring estates) and I'm typically on board for prickly, complicated heroines.  Byrony is a very interesting heroine.

This was good, but with problems - the dubious consent being the biggest issue for me.  I think it's worth reading, but I'm not sure I'd recommend anyone drop their life and read it Right. Now.

Final Grade = B-