Retro Review: Under the Covers

This review of Under the Covers by Rita Herron was first published by The Romance Reader in 2002. Back then I rated it 3-Hearts (C grade) with a sensuality rating of PG-13.

+++++

Dr. Abigail Jensen is the latest media sensation thanks to her new book, Under the Covers. Abby is a marriage counselor who wrote the book to help monogamous couples communicate more effectively. Unfortunately, all the media can harp on is the s-e-x - even calling her the Dear Abby of the bedroom. As if that wasn’t enough to deal with, on the same day that her book is released, she gets a Dear John letter from her husband. Seems Lenny likes men just as much as Abby does.

Mortified, she also learns that her marriage is a sham - they were married by a con man. However, the hits just keep on coming - what if Lenny was in on the scam from the very beginning? With her book poised to be a big success, her publicist wants a media blitz - and everyone wants to meet Dr. Abby’s new husband.

Hunter Stone is a reporter for the Atlanta Journal and Constitution who is eager to climb up the ladder - and Dr. Abby Jensen is his first class ticket. He just knows this woman is hiding something and he’s going to dig up enough dirt to get him that investigative reporting job he’s been gunning for. Not only that, it sure would feel good to get back at the woman he feels is responsible for the break-up of his first marriage.

Abby’s publicist isn’t going to budge, so she figures her only option is to hire an actor to impersonate Lenny. Her younger sister happens to be a budding actress. Not so lucky is that the man Chelsea has hired to play Lenny is none other that Hunter Stone.

Under the Covers works when the focus is solely on Abby - she’s really a likable heroine. Lenny’s deception has sent her self-esteem in a tailspin. How can she be giving advice to couples when she couldn’t figure out the man she thought she married was not only a con artist but also gay? She’s a natural born caregiver, having spent her childhood being more responsible than her parents. She has a grand relationship with her two sisters - Chelsea, the free spirit and Victoria, the no-nonsense lawyer. 

Original Cover

It takes considerably longer to warm up to Hunter - mainly because he’s an idiot. He blames the failure of his first marriage on Abby. Why? Because his wife attended one of her seminars. Uh huh. Thankfully, once he begins to spend time with Abby he starts to reevaluate his preconceived notions. It’s during these moments when Hunter is questioning what he thinks he knows, and what he thinks he feels, that his character begins to polish up as hero material.

Unfortunately, Under the Covers tries too hard in the madcap, zany comedy department and it detracts from the love story. There are all sorts of wacky adventures that only resorted in my groaning, and rolling my eyes - most of which involve Chelsea. Whether she’s dressing up like a banana to land a TV commercial or passing herself off as a stripper - when she’s not spending sisterly time with Victoria and Abby she firmly sits in too-stupid-to-live territory. The final straw was the farting dog.

There’s also the small, very annoying matter of Hunter’s five-year-old daughter, Lizzie. She’s among the insufferable crop of romance novel children who talks in unending baby-talk, dripping enough sugary sweetness on the page to put a diabetic in a coma. I kept hoping someone would smother her in her sleep - maybe along with the farting dog.

Strip away the wackiness, as well as the cutesy kid, and Under the Covers is a fine contemporary read. It may register higher marks for readers looking for screwball comedy. This reviewer was just worn out from wading through wacky land to get to the romance.

+++++

Wendy Looks Back: I know the last several retro reviews I've posted will look like I'm "picking on" cartoon covers - but seriously, is it any wonder I have trust issues?  I know they're the hot thing du jour in 2020 but....I've been down this road before it was bumpy y'all. 

Anyway, not a lot of recall on this one other than I really should have trademarked "wading through wacky land." Also reading in between the lines of this nearly 20-year-old review, something tells me the gay con man ex was not necessarily written with nuance and/or sensitivity. 

TBR Challenge 2012: Subtle, Like A Chainsaw

So that's why she looks so sad.....

The Book: The Missing Twin by Rita Herron

The Particulars:  Romantic suspense, Harlequin Intrigue, 2011, Part of Series, Out of Print, Available Digitally

Why Was It In Wendy's TBR?:  As is the case with all random category romances in my TBR, I picked this one up at a conference - RWA 2011 in New York City (or as I like to call it, Wendy's Librarian Of The Year Year).

The Review:  Oh man, this was just....not good.

Caleb Walker works for Guardian Angel Investigations, which specializes in finding missing children.  He's part Native American, which in Romance Novel Land automatically means he has a "sixth sense."  He's also a Romance Novel Hero, which automatically means he was a wounded past and a dead wife he still mourns.

Yada yada yada.

Enter stage left, Madelyn Andrews whose five-year-old daughter, Sara, keeps having nightmares about her twin-sister, Cissy.  Cissy and her mommy are in danger from a "bad man."  The fly in the ointment?  Cissy didn't survive childbirth.  Now it turns out that the doctor who delivered Cissy and Sara was in on a baby-selling illegal adoption scam.  Could it be?  Could Cissy still be alive?  And is she really in danger?

Things get off on the wrong foot right away thanks to Sara who is straight out of Romance Novel Land Plot Moppet Central Casting.  Here's an example of what I waded through every time the kid appeared on page:

"You gots an Indian name?" Sara asked in a whisper.

Caleb nodded.  "Firewalker."

Sara's eyes widened.  "You walks on fire?  Does it hurt?"

So the kid is smart enough to know about Indian names, yet dippy enough to take them literally?

Seriously. Just. Shoot. Me. Now.

The rest of the dialogue is just as stilted and mind-numbing, and in no way aided by paranormal elements that have all the subtlety of a chainsaw.  My favorite was when Caleb's "abilities" come to light.  Madelyn and Caleb are at Cissy's "grave," waiting for the casket to be exhumed....

Caleb was there, kneeling with his hand on Cissy's grave.  His dark skin had drained of color, and an odd mixture of grief and pain marred his face....

Fast forward a page or so....

"What were you doing at Cissy's grave?"  Suspicion flared in her eyes.  "Do you have some kind of psychic ability that you didn't mention?  Is that why you believed Sara?  Could you see inside the grave?"

OK, seriously?!?!  Who makes that kind of leap right out of the gate?  Oh, the hunky Native American guy looks pale and he's touching a gravestone.  Ergo, HE MUST HAVE PSYCHIC ABILITIES!!!!!

Dude.  Here's a thought, maybe he just ate some bad Thai food for lunch and he's feeling nauseous.  Did you ever think of that? 

And while I'm at it, what self-respecting baby snatcher keeps the same name for the kid that the birth mother gave it?  What, did The Evil Doctor show up at their door and say, "Here's the baby you wanted to adopt and oh, by the way, her name is Cissy.  I just went ahead and took the liberty of naming the kid for you."

I would have slapped this book with an F except for two factors: 1) I've read worse and 2) I loved how the author handled The Condom Moment.  The couple is all ready to do the deed and the hero stops because he doesn't have a condom.  He tells the heroine that he wants "to do right" by her.  Thank you Lord!  No throwaway conversations of "I'm on the Pill" or "I'm clean baby, you can trust me.  Do I look like I have a scorching case of herpes?"  Oh, and in case you're curious?  They were at the heroine's house and SHE had some condoms.  A heroine!  With condoms!  OK, so her Mom bought them for her hoping she'd start dating again, but still!  A ROMANCE NOVEL HEROINE WHO HAS HER OWN CONDOMS!!!!

But honestly, that was it for me.  The Condom Moment.  The one bright shining light.....

Final Grade = D-