Retro Review: Hot Night

The review for Hot Night by Shannon McKenna was first published at The Romance Reader in 2006. Back then I rated it 2-Hearts (D grade) with a sensuality rating equivalent of NC-17.  This currently appears to be out of print, with no available digital edition.

+++++

Readers can always count on Shannon McKenna to deliver a hot Alpha hero who lacks a little something in the manners department. Unfortunately, she tends to pair up these hot hunks of beefcake with heroines who have as much spine and personality as your garden-variety jellyfish. 

Abby Maitland slaves away at a museum job for a Devil Wears Prada-like boss. She has just landed a major coup for the museum, a gala event to show off their latest exhibit, a cache of sunken treasure recently recovered that they’re calling The Pirate’s Horde. She’s also decided now is the time to get serious about her love life. No more dating bad boy losers who deplete her checking account and wreck her cars. Nope, Abby now has a “list” and any guy who wants to get serious with her has to meet the criteria. So her fabulous gay friend, Dovey (that’s right, Dovey), has been setting her up on disastrous blind dates with men who fit Abby’s list. You think the girl would get a clue here, but amazingly enough she never does. 

It’s on her latest disaster that she meets Zan Duncan (that’s right, Zan). A locksmith and part-time computer guru of some sort (honestly, the author spends zero time on this other than it makes the hero conveniently rich), he answers Abby’s late night phone call after she locks herself out of her apartment. He arrives, rescues her from her latest blind date from hell, unlocks her door and the conversation laden with double entendres begins. 

But Zan doesn’t fit her “list” criteria, so Abby isn’t interested. Plus, things get really complicated when the evil bad guy shows up on the scene. He wants to steal The Pirate’s Horde and he isn’t going to let anybody or anything stand in his way. 

The plot is over-the-top (seriously, pirate’s treasure?!), but it could have been campy fun if the characters weren’t so annoying. Zan actually starts out very intriguing. He’s sexy, charming and I was thinking about running away with him at first. Unfortunately he’s attracted to Abby, which immediately knocks him down several pegs. She runs so hot and cold over the course of the story, I swear I got whiplash. One minute she’s pushing Zan away because he doesn’t fit her “list,” the next she’s throwing herself at him and putting her mouth on body parts that would send mixed signals to any man. 

Zan really has no chance at all. He cajoles her, tries to persuade her to give him a chance – but she flatly refuses. However, just as he’s about to throw in the towel, here comes Abby playing all hot to trot. Naturally, by about the halfway point the guy is truly confused and the bickering ensues. These two seem to have the same fight over the course of the entire story, and I never could get a handle on it since they talk in circles. But never fear gentle reader, they wait to do their arguing after they have the hot, acrobatic sex. 

Misunderstandings naturally ensue, with Zan leaping to conclusions and behaving like a Neanderthal. Not that I could truly blame him since Abby sends out so many mixed signals I would have gleefully strangled her myself if I were in his shoes. Not only is this all highly annoying to read about, it also sabotages the romance. These two cannot agree on anything, and several important conversations have to be halted because they cannot get along. Seriously, they’re going to have to spend their entire married life naked with duct tape over their mouths for this relationship to have any prayer at all. 

The suspense plot isn’t too bad, but it is overblown given the villain is one-dimensionally evil. Also, Abby somehow manages to become shriller after a dead body turns up. While it’s nice to see an author keeping the legacy of the unapologetic Alpha hero alive and well, coupling these guys with grating heroines is not the way to go. My advice is to keep the aspirin handy, and a bottle of tequila wouldn’t hurt either.

+++++

Wendy Looks Back: McKenna was a fan favorite at the height of the Kensington Brava line known for barely housebroken heroes and steamy sex. While a good many of my reading friends loved her work, I never could quite get there. Her heroes too Neanderthal-y, her heroine's too annoying.  And then her work started to blend in more and more paranormal elements and I was completely out.

Here's the thing though, McKenna's work was always compelling even when I wanted to strangle her characters.  She's self-published some stuff since her Brava days (eh, again with the paranormal elements) but she's got a new series launching this month with Harlequin Desire.  Besides always being here for category romance, McKenna's brand of Alpha hero should be right at home in the Desire line.  I'm intrigued....

Retro Review: The Sheriff

This review of The Sheriff by Nan Ryan was originally published at The Romance Reader in 2006. Back then I rated it 1-Heart (F Grade) with an R-rated sensuality rating.

+++++

Nan Ryan’s latest book reminds me a lot of the western romances I read and enjoyed as a teenage girl. However, I have since grown up, and simply telling me a story doesn’t cut it anymore. 

Kate VanNam (not Kate Quinn as the back cover copy suggests), has just gotten word that a great-aunt she didn’t know has died and named her as sole beneficiary in her will. When the elderly uncle who raised her dies, Kate takes what meager savings he had left and boards a ship for Fortune, California. Her auntie not only left her a gold mine, but also a majestic Victorian mansion. 

However when she arrives, Kate discovers that her gold mine is reportedly worthless and the Victorian is uninhabitable. No matter, she is sure with a little hard work that she’ll find gold and make her fortune! Too bad the insufferable town sheriff keeps getting in her way. 

Travis McCloud (not Travis McLoud as the back cover copy suggests), sees trouble the minute he sees Kate. The men outnumber the women in Fortune 50 to 1. Worse still, Kate is a lady. The kind of lady that the rough-hewn miners will kill each other over just for a wink and a smile. No doubt about it, he’s going to have to protect her for her own good. 

Readers looking for a romance are going to find something on par to the novels published back in 1985. Kate and Travis do not spend any time together, and when they do, they bicker. Their “courtship” consists of arguing, her seeing him with no shirt on, arguing, him spying her skinny-dipping in a mountain lake and more arguing. Then they end up in bed together and all of the sudden it’s true love. They can’t live without each other! 

This lack of courtship and romance might be able to be overlooked if there were actual character development to distract the reader. Travis remains an enigma, spending the bulk of the story either bedding his mistress or being annoyed that he’s attracted to Kate. When the author does decide to reveal a nugget from his past, she dashes it off in a paragraph. Not a paragraph where Travis is talking to Kate, a mere descriptive paragraph where the author is telling instead of showing. In fact, the entire book is riddled with this sort of lazy writing. Instead of unfolding the romance and story before the reader’s eyes, the author just tells it. 

Kate has one nice moment in the story where she saves a Chinese man from being beaten by ruffians, but other than that, this girl was obviously dropped on her head a few times as an infant. When she discovers the Victorian has no windows or doors, she decides to make the front parlor her living space. She tidies up that room and lives in it. It never occurs to her that she might want to replace the doors or windows. It never occurs to her that she might want to be able to lock up now that she’s living in a male-dominated town full of desperate, uncouth, and horny miners. No, it’s up to Travis to board up her windows, and replace her doors (coincidentally this is when she sees him with no shirt on). He even has to order her to keep the doors locked at all times. Frankly, people this stupid deserve whatever happens to them – but Travis has some perverse desire to protect Kate and the reader is forced to suffer along. 

There is nothing to motivate the reader to care. Kate is a dingbat with a blind optimism that smacks of stupidity. Travis wouldn’t be bad if the author spent time actually exploring his previous life in Virginia instead of relaying it. Even the villains are bland, and naturally, Kate doesn’t realize she’s in danger because the villain is so darn charming and nice. Even the climactic finish lacks an actual climax, and the whole thing is over in four sentences. There are several spicy love scenes, but given that the reader doesn’t know, care much, and isn't privy to any sort of courtship, it’s hard to care about them, let alone read them without skimming. Lazy characterization with an equally lazy “telling” writing style make The Sheriff a tedious read. Pass it on by.

+++++

Wendy Looks Back: Books like this are the reason that I have a running theory about long lost and/or inherited mines in historical western romances.  My theory?  If the plot involves one the book is likely to be terrible.  Seriously. I've read a disproportionate number of bad westerns featuring defunct mines.

Also, I used to write pretty good reviews.  I think if I slogged through this book today and then tried to write a review it would be a lot of incoherent, unintelligible muttering.

Retro Review: If This Bed Could Talk

Original Cover

This review of If This Bed Could Talk by Liz Maverick, Kimberly Dean and Lynn LaFleur was first published by The Romance Reader in 2006. Back then I rated it 4 Hearts (B grade) with a sensuality rating of NC-17. 

+++++

Yes, another erotica imprint. After catapulting to popularity thanks to smaller presses and electronic publishers, the latest major house to jump on the bandwagon is Avon. Despite being marketed as “hot, sexy fiction” romance readers will be happy to note that every story in this launch anthology features a happily-ever-after. They also feature some wicked sexual tension, effectively dispelling the myth that erotica is nothing more than mechanical sex with no emotion behind it.

Liz Maverick gets things started with Agent Provocateur, which features some unsavory plot devices that would sink this story in no time flat if not for the incredible chemistry between hero and heroine. Vienna James is a gunrunner who has just been arrested for the third time. Three strikes and you’re out in this futuristic world means one thing – slavery.

Vienna is on the auction block and the only thing that will save her from execution is if someone buys her. Michael Kingston buys Vienna because she’s the spitting image of his brother’s traitorous former fiancé. He wants Vienna to seduce their enemy, and steal back something he took from his brother. However when he goes to “train” her, he finds himself falling under her spell. It makes handing her blithely over to the villain a bit more complicated.

A hero who buys the heroine and a revenge plot could have made this a disastrous story, but the sexual tension is enough to peel wallpaper. This is one hot, sexy read – well advertised and delivered. 

Next up is Kimberly Dean with Unrequited. Trista Christiansen is on a date. Her divorce from her professional baseball player ex has been final for eight months and her friends have been urging her to get back out there. Thanks to her date’s ineptitude, they end up eating dinner in a sports bar. The same sports bar where her ex-brother-in-law is enjoying a game of darts and a beer after a long day at work.

Ty cannot believe that Trista is on a date! Especially with such a weenie. He’s had a thing for her for a long time, but she was always Denny’s girl. Well Denny screwed up, and he’s ready to take a shot. Now to convince Trista that they belong together.

Unrequited love is such a great, bittersweet theme. Ty is a blue-collar guy who stayed away from Trista out of respect for his selfish baby brother. Trista is hesitant to get involved with Ty even though she’s wildly attracted to him. Plus, she always considered him a “friend.” That’s the last thing she wants to mess up. Like the Maverick story, the sexual tension leaps off the page, and the final moment when Trista realizes that Ty is the one for her is sweet, sexy and touching.

Last on the list is Lynn LaFleur’s Victim Of Deception, which features one of the more imaginative plots I’ve come across in a while.

Karessa Austin has just inherited a Victorian house from her Aunt Grace. She was thinking of selling, but once she sees the old girl she decides to renovate and move in. Maxwell Hennessey is a professional treasure hunter who is sure a very old, very valuable bearer bond is hidden in the Victorian. One small problem, he used to date Karessa and betrayed her over a “job” he was on. No matter, she’s renovating – he’ll use his connections to get on the job site.

LaFleur’s tale is actually a story within a story – with the Victorian being haunted by Karessa’s great-great grandparents who were murdered. Mary and Aaron have been stuck in limbo over the last 100 years, and feel the key to their freedom is through Karessa and Max reuniting. Luckily, they don’t interfere too much – as Max and Karessa have never truly gotten over each other. All they need a little nudge.

The sex in all of these stories is hot, hot stuff – with LaFleur pushing the envelope almost off the table. That said, all of these characters truly care about each other – giving all of the stories a depth of emotion, and ratcheting up the sexual tension into the stratosphere. With many jumping on the growing erotica bandwagon, I’ll admit I was skeptical. What a pleasant surprise to find three authors, all in the same anthology, getting it all so right. Sit back, enjoy the ride, and lose yourself in the fantasy.

+++++

Wendy Looks Back: The mid-2000s was when The Big Five decided to jump on the erotic romance bandwagon, and this included Harpercollins, who launched Avon Red in 2006.  In fact this anthology was one of the launch titles, hence the first sentence of the first paragraph in this review.  Also, remember 2006. I'm aware I called it "erotica" and that's misleading.  Remember we were still fumbling around in the dark and hadn't settled on labeling such books as "erotic romance" as of yet.

The anthology itself is hard to find, but all three stories are available to purchase as stand-alone novellas (thank you digital boom).  I have very little recall on any of these but something buried in the back of my lizard brain makes me think the Kimberly Dean story was my favorite of the bunch.  And not gonna lie, I'm half tempted to reread the LaFleur story to see if I still think she pushes the envelope off the table.  (Ghost sex? I'm wondering if it was ghost sex....)

Retro Review: Under the Covers

This review of Under the Covers by Rita Herron was first published by The Romance Reader in 2002. Back then I rated it 3-Hearts (C grade) with a sensuality rating of PG-13.

+++++

Dr. Abigail Jensen is the latest media sensation thanks to her new book, Under the Covers. Abby is a marriage counselor who wrote the book to help monogamous couples communicate more effectively. Unfortunately, all the media can harp on is the s-e-x - even calling her the Dear Abby of the bedroom. As if that wasn’t enough to deal with, on the same day that her book is released, she gets a Dear John letter from her husband. Seems Lenny likes men just as much as Abby does.

Mortified, she also learns that her marriage is a sham - they were married by a con man. However, the hits just keep on coming - what if Lenny was in on the scam from the very beginning? With her book poised to be a big success, her publicist wants a media blitz - and everyone wants to meet Dr. Abby’s new husband.

Hunter Stone is a reporter for the Atlanta Journal and Constitution who is eager to climb up the ladder - and Dr. Abby Jensen is his first class ticket. He just knows this woman is hiding something and he’s going to dig up enough dirt to get him that investigative reporting job he’s been gunning for. Not only that, it sure would feel good to get back at the woman he feels is responsible for the break-up of his first marriage.

Abby’s publicist isn’t going to budge, so she figures her only option is to hire an actor to impersonate Lenny. Her younger sister happens to be a budding actress. Not so lucky is that the man Chelsea has hired to play Lenny is none other that Hunter Stone.

Under the Covers works when the focus is solely on Abby - she’s really a likable heroine. Lenny’s deception has sent her self-esteem in a tailspin. How can she be giving advice to couples when she couldn’t figure out the man she thought she married was not only a con artist but also gay? She’s a natural born caregiver, having spent her childhood being more responsible than her parents. She has a grand relationship with her two sisters - Chelsea, the free spirit and Victoria, the no-nonsense lawyer. 

Original Cover

It takes considerably longer to warm up to Hunter - mainly because he’s an idiot. He blames the failure of his first marriage on Abby. Why? Because his wife attended one of her seminars. Uh huh. Thankfully, once he begins to spend time with Abby he starts to reevaluate his preconceived notions. It’s during these moments when Hunter is questioning what he thinks he knows, and what he thinks he feels, that his character begins to polish up as hero material.

Unfortunately, Under the Covers tries too hard in the madcap, zany comedy department and it detracts from the love story. There are all sorts of wacky adventures that only resorted in my groaning, and rolling my eyes - most of which involve Chelsea. Whether she’s dressing up like a banana to land a TV commercial or passing herself off as a stripper - when she’s not spending sisterly time with Victoria and Abby she firmly sits in too-stupid-to-live territory. The final straw was the farting dog.

There’s also the small, very annoying matter of Hunter’s five-year-old daughter, Lizzie. She’s among the insufferable crop of romance novel children who talks in unending baby-talk, dripping enough sugary sweetness on the page to put a diabetic in a coma. I kept hoping someone would smother her in her sleep - maybe along with the farting dog.

Strip away the wackiness, as well as the cutesy kid, and Under the Covers is a fine contemporary read. It may register higher marks for readers looking for screwball comedy. This reviewer was just worn out from wading through wacky land to get to the romance.

+++++

Wendy Looks Back: I know the last several retro reviews I've posted will look like I'm "picking on" cartoon covers - but seriously, is it any wonder I have trust issues?  I know they're the hot thing du jour in 2020 but....I've been down this road before it was bumpy y'all. 

Anyway, not a lot of recall on this one other than I really should have trademarked "wading through wacky land." Also reading in between the lines of this nearly 20-year-old review, something tells me the gay con man ex was not necessarily written with nuance and/or sensitivity. 

Retro Review: Runaway Hearts

This review of Runaway Hearts by Katie Rose was first published by The Romance Reader in 2001.  Back then I rated it 4-Hearts (B grade) with a sensuality rating of PG-13.

+++++

While many young ladies may think a lack of suitors disastrous, Mary Lou Finch has resigned herself to a life of spinsterhood and scholastics. That is until she learns daddy invested their entire life savings on a thoroughbred that has turned up missing. Mary Lou was counting on using her dowry money to support herself! Determined to not be a destitute spinster, she makes her way to Milltown, NY and the scene of the crime.

Seems like a good plan, until the owner of the missing horse finds her snooping in his stables. Pierce Thorndike has had his eye out for suspicious characters. Not only was his prize thoroughbred stolen, but also the horse’s trainer was found murdered. Mary Lou immediately intrigues Pierce, and when she stammers that she is at Graystone Lodge to apply for the governess position - well he knows she’s not being entirely truthful. Nevertheless, the fact is, his son needs a teacher, and Edward has already managed to chase off a good many.

By day, Mary Lou tutors Edward, coaxing the boy out of a shell he erected after his mother’s death and the trainer’s murder. By night, she takes to snooping for clues, only to have Pierce turn up at inopportune times. The closer she gets to unraveling the mystery, the more she is drawn to the handsome, brooding man of the house.

Runaway Hearts is a fun, light-hearted romance. There may be a murderer on the loose, but this book is anything but dark. Mary Lou is an interesting heroine, and one that I immediately liked. She is described as unfashionably plump, with voluptuous curves, and a weakness for sweets. My kind of girl. On the inside, she is quite intelligent, having been to university, with a compassionate nature that works wonders on both Edward and Pierce.

Pierce is a widower, all business, and out of sorts where is son is concerned. The child needs a firm hand, but also understanding. As Mary Lou helps Edward, she in turn helps Pierce, who feels guilty over his wife’s death and that of his trainer. What is refreshing here, is that while his first marriage was the typical unhappy one found in thousands of other romance novels, he does not think that all women are evil, and doesn’t even actively loathe his former wife. This displays maturity in him, and makes him a worthy match for the inquisitive Miss Finch.

While a sweet romance, I was less satisfied with the mystery in Runaway Hearts. It is pretty simplistic and rather on the light side, which may be just the thing for strict romance readers. However, if you are an equally rabid mystery fan, as I am, you will likely figure this one out rather early on. Moreover, while Mary Lou is a worthy romance heroine, she isn’t going to put my favorite amateur sleuths out of business. The way she happens upon clues, and formulates theories is nothing extraordinary, but the men surrounding her find her deductive reasoning skills exceptional. Pierce would do good to look into hiring a more competent police force, who are unable to crack the case, while a governess comes in and ties everything up in a neat package.

I was swept up in the romance as the author provides some well done tender moments between the couple. While the mystery needed some oomph, Rose’s nicely done characterizations were such that what could have been a big problem for this reader, became nothing more than a minor quibble. Her creation of Mary Lou alone kept me turning the pages, adding Pierce and Edward into the mix only sealed the deal.

++++++

Wendy Looks Back: Sorry guys, I have literally zero recall on this book.  Of course it's been 19 years ::shrug emoji::.  Rose eventually made the move to contemporary sports romance (baseball) and her last published book was in 2016.

Retro Review: A Thoroughly Modern Princess

This review of A Thoroughly Modern Princess by Wendy Corsi Staub (since reprinted under her Wendy Markham name) was first published by The Romance Reader in 2003.  Back then I rated it 2-Hearts (D grade) with an sensuality content rating of PG)

++++++

Prolific author Wendy Corsi Staub moves away from suspense stories to write a modern day fairy tale featuring a pampered princess and a playboy American businessman. While a well-written tale, the whole thing hinges on a plot that is so insulting that I actually felt myself losing IQ points.

Princess Emmaline of the fictional kingdom Verdunia is engaged to the dashing Prince Remi of the fictional kingdom Buiron. However it is strictly an arranged marriage, with neither bride nor groom feeling anything other than mild affection for one another. In fact, Emmaline is feeling trapped in her gilded cage the day she steals down to the rose garden to meet dashing American businessman, Granger Lockwood IV.

Like two ships passing in the night, Emmaline and Granger share a one-night stand. Several months later while at a royal wedding gown fitting, the princess realizes that she’s pregnant. Since she has only slept with one man in her life, that means the baby belongs to the American, not the Prince. What to do? Well how about panicking, calling up Granger demanding he rescue her, running away, and leaving her unsuspecting bridegroom at the altar on their wedding day? Ah, romance!

There is so much wrong with this plot and on so many levels. First, while Emmaline may not feel a deep passion for Remi, she is engaged to the guy. I couldn’t help feeling that she owed the poor sap a little consideration. I also had a hard time understanding how a spoiled, pampered, sheltered princess could toss her chastity aside so blithely for the first handsome American that came along. Since that crucial love scene takes place off stage, the reader never finds out.

Then there’s our hero who sleeps with a virginal, engaged princess – and knows it. He knows up front that Emmaline is engaged, and we’re told through a very brief flashback that he was informed of her virginal status. Yet he still sleeps with her, and it results in an unplanned pregnancy. Now I’ve never been to Europe, but I’m willing to bet that it is possible to buy condoms there. And while I’m willing to cut a little slack towards the virginal princess, a hero described as a dashing playboy should know better.

So what awaits the reader that somehow manages to look past that bit of distastefulness? Not much else I’m afraid. The author has chosen to give both her lead characters very privileged lifestyles. While I don’t think it’s necessary for readers to be able to relate to the main characters, they at least have to be able to understand them. These two are impossible to understand.

Original cover art

Granger is very much in a gilded cage like Emmaline, complete with matching silver spoon. He has been under his grandfather’s thumb for years, so he decides to leave the family business and forge out on his own. Then Emmaline and the pregnancy come along, so Granger finds himself apartment and job hunting. He somehow miraculously secures a studio apartment in one day in New York City. He then moves in the princess and goes grocery shopping. He comes home, shows the princess his spoils and says this about toilet bowl cleaner, “See how the bottle neck is curved? That’s so that you can squirt it under the rim of the bowl.” I swear to you gentle reader; I’m not making this up. This is about the time I started to lose IQ points.

Emmaline is so pampered and spoiled, that she behaves in an infuriating manner for the entire story. Not only does she sleep with Granger while she’s engaged to another man, leave her groom at the altar on their wedding day, but she also throws a hissy fit when Granger expects her to help out around the apartment. You know – cleaning, doing dishes, something other than lying in bed despondently or leaning over a toilet throwing up. How could Granger expect her to act like a commoner? And while Granger experiences some personal growth by the end of the story, Emmaline does not, and continues to show her true, spoiled, pampered, moronic colors right up through the climactic and teeth grinding finish.

For readers who can look past the spoiled characters and the distasteful plot premise, A Thoroughly Modern Princess is a well-written and fast read. The author can write, it is too bad her obvious skills were wasted on this unsavory plot and these unlikable characters.

++++++

Wendy Looks Back: A "romantic comedy" with a cartoon cover from 2003 that I wanted to burn with fire. What are the odds?  Um, pretty good actually.  My strong dislike of illustrated covers has deep roots y'all.  Anyway, Staub published several romances, but her bread and butter has always been suspense.  This book didn't instill any hope for me and to date it's the only book I've read by her.

Retro Review: Defiant

This review of Defiant by Bobbi Smith was first posted at The Romance Reader in 2006. Back then I rated it 2-Hearts (equivalent of a D grade) with a sensuality rating of PG.

+++++

One of my favorite booksellers recently told me that westerns were making a comeback. If books like Defiant are what fans of the sub genre have to look forward to we’re in for a bumpy ride.

Clint Williams should be dead. A Texas Ranger, he was home for a visit when the deadly Tucker Gang came calling. Clint’s father, also a Ranger, was very close to capturing the gang, but they struck first. Everyone is dead. Clint miraculously survives his wounds, and vows vengeance. To do so, he takes on the assumed identity of gunfighter Kane McCullough and tracks the Tucker Gang to Dry Springs, Texas.

Rachel Hammond is the innocent, beautiful daughter of the Dry Springs preacher. Daddy has a thing about crusading, and one night takes his family and members of his congregation into the Last Chance Saloon to save all the sinners. As one can imagine, their message is not well received, and Rachel soon finds herself being pawed by a drunken lout. Clint rides to the rescue, and she’s in the throes of puppy love.

That’s basically it. Clint wants revenge and is hanging around Dry Springs waiting for the outlaws to show up. Rachel moons over Clint. Clint feels that women like Rachel are “meant to be protected and cherished,” and even though he knows he cannot afford to be distracted, he continues to hover around her anyway.

It’s amazing I managed to keep my food down.

If Defiant had been better written, I might have been able to overlook the cardboard characters. If the characters were more compelling, I might have been able to overlook the poor writing. Unfortunately, with both strikes against it, Defiant doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

Smith’s writing style is all tell and no show. In many cases, it felt like I was reading an outline to the story instead of the actual finished product. Compounding this is the fact that the author likes to head-hop a lot. One moment we’re being told what Rachel thinks, then what Clint thinks, then what one of the outlaws thinks, then what Rachel’s mother thinks, then what the town sheriff thinks and so on. Because of this, the reader feels disconnected from the main couple, thus further handicapping the romance, which isn’t much to brag about as is. One suspects that it is intended to be love at first sight, but it’s even more slipshod than that. Clint saves Rachel; they share some idle chitchat, then poof! They’re in love! They cannot stop thinking about each other!

Adding insult to injury, Rachel reinforces the stereotype for preachers’ daughters. She’s innocent and beautiful on the outside, but once she finds herself alone with Clint she practically throws herself at him. One moment she’s giggling like a schoolgirl and is so sickeningly sweet she gives the reader a toothache, the next she’s an experienced flirt dropping innuendos. It’s enough to give the reader whiplash. The purple prose certainly doesn’t help matters either with gems such as “They clung to each other as their lips met in a cherishing exchange that showed without words the depth of what they were feeling for one another.”

It’s hard to imagine it getting worse than that, but it does with the ending. The identity of the mastermind behind the Tucker Gang (known simply as The Boss) comes as no shock to anyone with two brain cells to rub together and Rachel blithely puts herself in danger for no credible reason.

I fervently hope that my favorite bookseller is correct and that westerns are on the upswing. Hopefully the rebirth of the sub genre won’t feature more books like this one.

+++++

Wendy Looks Back: Reading over this review and vaguely recalling this book, I'm not sure how this escaped 1-Heart (F Grade) territory.  Either I was feeling overly generous that day or else Dede (my former editor at TRR) coded the HTML incorrectly.  Anyway, if you subscribe to the school of thought that Wendy is a cranky fusspot or if you want to see for yourself if it's really as terrible as I said back in 2006 - Kindle Unlimited folks can give this one a whirl for free.

Retro Review: Jude's Law

This review of Jude's Law by Lori Foster was first posted at The Romance Reader in 2006.  Back then I rated it 2-Hearts (D Grade) with a sensuality rating of R.

+++++

Foster’s latest starts out with a pleasing fantasy that many readers should enjoy. A Hollywood heart throb, fallen from grace, seeks refuge in small town U.S.A and falls in lust with the girl next door. Unfortunately, the absurdity of the main plot, a doormat heroine and an ending that doesn’t end ruins everything.

Jude Jamison made a name for himself as the star of Supreme Battle Challenge (think Ultimate Fighting) and quickly parlayed his good looks and charm into an acting career. Then a young starlet is murdered, and Jude is acquitted in a sensational murder trial. With the paparazzi dogging his steps, Jude runs away to Stillbrook, Ohio, and quickly falls in lust with the local owner of an art gallery. Except the lusciously curvy May Price seems completely immune to his charms, and worse yet thinks his come-ons and innuendos are a joke!

May Price is hugely attracted to Jude but isn’t about to act on it. They are from totally different worlds, plus she has a lot of baggage. Then her loser brother, Tim, borrows money from the wrong person and promptly loses it gambling. When hired goons grab him they give him an option – the $50,000 debt will go away if he kills Jude.

This throws May and Jude together in the same house as the goons also threaten her. In between getting Tim’s debt taken care of and figuring out who wants Jude dead, May and Jude are spending a lot of time burning up the sheets.

While Foster has a pleasing writing style and knows her way around a sex scene, the rest of the plot strains at the seams of credibility. May is afraid to get involved with Jude because he’s a Big Hollywood Star and a major hunk. Never once does she pause over the fact that he was the defendant in a well-publicized murder trial! Why? Well he’s so hunky and he buys a lot of art from her, he just can’t be capable of murder. While the romance hero obviously has to be innocent, May’s blind faith in that fact is just a little too unreal. The American justice system has been known to be wrong.

May also is the worst kind of romance heroine – The Doormat. I kept waiting for Jude to write “welcome” on her forehead and toss her by the front door. She’s one of those self-sacrificing types who is constantly rescuing her petulant younger brother. Why? Because Mommy and Daddy expect it of her. They also expect her to come running to them for all of their slights. Mommy’s a boozer and Daddy likes to chase skirts. Why a grown woman pushing 30 wouldn’t just tell these losers to take a hike is anyone’s guess.

Original Cover

The mystery of who killed the starlet might not have been half bad if the tone of the story would have matched. One would think that a man who has someone out to kill him would be concerned about finding out who the bad guy is. Not Jude! No, he’s more concerned about getting May in bed and buying her a whole new wardrobe. Naturally May doesn’t know how to dress herself and is always hiding her fuller figure behind unflattering business suits. Frankly, I’d be more concerned about staying alive than what my bed partner chose to wear, but that’s just me.

However what ultimately sinks Jude’s Law from being an acceptable read is the ending. There isn’t one. Foster leaves a lot of loose ends – including the bad guy and some issues with May’s family. The whole thing screams sequel (likely involving May’s best friend Ashley), but series books should stand alone on their own. The reader who wants closure is essentially being manipulated into reading book two.

All in all this is one disappointing read. Foster writes fast, fun and frothy, and the pages flew by at a fast clip. Too bad the plot and the heroine had to get in the way.

+++++

Wendy Looks Back:  Foster just may be one of the first authors I encountered as a baby romance reader who so did NOT work for me, but others seemed to love.  Case in point, this book - which received a frackin' starred review in Booklist.  A book for every reader and a reader for every book...I guess.

Retro Review: Deadly Double

This review of Deadly Double by Adrianne Byrd was first posted at The Romance Reader in 2005.  Back then I rated it 4-Hearts (B Grade) with a sensuality rating of PG-13

+++++

Dr. William Hayes hasn’t been working at the Keystone Mental Institution very long, but he knows one thing for sure – the patient everyone is calling “Michelle Andrews” isn’t Michelle Andrews. She’s the girl he loved and lost one summer while vacationing in Paris – Josephine Ferrell. It’s a mystery he can barely wrap his mind around, and “Michelle” is so doped up that she is unable to give him any answers. Worse still, “Michelle” is a long time patient of a doctor on staff, and that doctor assures Will he is mistaken.

Through a sense of loyalty, and the fact that he’s still in love with her, Will ends up putting his career on the line and kidnaps a patient.

“Michelle Andrews” is indeed Josephine Ferrell. A crazy woman is trying to steal her life, and has nearly succeeded. Josie’s pleas for help with hospital staff only lands her on the wrong side of a hypodermic needle. She is soon swimming in a sea of drugs, so William not only has to figure out what is going on, he also has to help Josie detox. With dead bodies piling up, time is running short. Will Josie and Will be able to clear her name before they end up in the morgue?

Author of several contemporary romances, this is only Byrd’s second foray into romantic suspense and it is quite accomplished. The author literally drops the reader right in the middle of the action and slowly unfolds the nuances of all her characters. While this technique can often prove confusing and frustrating, Byrd makes it work by setting a frantic and exciting pace that kicks off with Will spiriting Josie away from Keystone. The suspense is then revealed through real time and flashbacks.

Will and Josie share a poignant and heartbreaking past. When they met in Paris, Josie was an aspiring jazz musician and Will was a first year medical student. They fell in love, but Josie had made promises to another. They went their separate ways; both of them still half in love with each other. Josie’s current predicament throws them together, but they still have some leftover baggage from their affair 16 years earlier. Josie in particular has a haunting vulnerability about her, which makes it easy to understand how she fell prey to the villain.

Byrd keeps the action humming with several secondary characters – most notable being the female, Asian-American police detective assigned to the case. Her story is equally as compelling as Josie’s thanks to the inclusion of at-home moments between her and her husband. These added another dimension to her character, making Ming Delaney a full flesh and blood character as opposed to a mere bit player.

Original Cover

The conclusion of the story is particularly well done, as while Josie starts out vulnerable, she’s soon out for revenge. Will may be her knight in shining armor, the man who rescued her from Keystone, but Josie isn’t about to sit idly by while someone tries to steal her life. The minute she makes the decision to fight, even with the lingering effects of detox, she becomes a true heroine - a woman no longer willing to sit back and take it any longer.

The only missteps occur in the love scenes. Byrd can write credible sex, but has a tendency to use silly euphemisms. Otherwise sexy and romantic moments are ruined with the inclusion of phrases like “moist cave” and “vortex of euphoria.” These scenes stick out like a sore thumb in a novel that is otherwise finely written.

However overlooking the unfortunate tendency towards purple prose, Byrd has written an exciting story. I could very easily have finished it in one sitting had I not had to go to work. Readers who like women in peril stories where the woman fights back will find a lot to like here. Fans of tender reunion stories shouldn’t be disappointed either. Here’s hoping Byrd continues her foray into romantic suspense, this is certainly the most memorable one I’ve read in ages.

+++++

Originally published by HarperTorch, rights have reverted back to Byrd so there's a reasonably priced self-published edition available.  Byrd is still writing and self-publishing, her most book, Milk and Honey, released in August 2019.

Retro Review: The Courting of Widow Shaw

This review of The Courting of Widow Shaw by Charlene Sands was first posted at The Romance Reader in 2004.  At that time, I rated it 4-Hearts (B grade) with a sensuality rating of PG-13.

+++++

After a shaky start, Sands’ latest effort for Harlequin propels itself into four-heart territory with a sweet romance and charming Beta hero.

Steven Harding has always admired Gloria Mae “Glory” Shaw from afar, and due to circumstances feels indebted to her as well. So when he spies her home engulfed in flames, her no-good husband stabbed to death, and a physically battered and unconscious Glory holding a bloodied knife, he spirits the young woman away. While it appears he had it coming to him, Steven knows that Glory will surely be arrested for the murder of her husband – which he cannot let happen. The problem is there is only one suitable place to hide her – a place no one would think of looking for her.

That place is Rainbow House – the brothel that his mother owns and that Glory has been trying to shut down. The town preacher, Glory’s father, was shot and killed during an altercation outside his church between a dissatisfied customer and Steven’s mother, Lorene. Glory naturally blames the existence of the whorehouse on her beloved father’s death, and while her efforts have proved fruitless thus far, she hasn’t given up her crusade.

Glory awakens having no memory of that fateful night, and more than a little disconcerted that Lorene Harding’s son is her rescuer. She’s also not terribly pleased to be convalescing at Rainbow House, and “the girls” that are employed there don’t exactly give her a warm welcome. With a crisis of faith looming, the long arm of the law lurking, and her brother-in-law telling anyone who will listen that she’s a murderer – Glory has no choice but to trust Steven Harding, even if she does see Lorene as her enemy.

Things get off to a shaky start entirely due to Glory. I could understand how a preacher’s daughter would be horrified to discover she was recouping in a whorehouse. I could also understand Glory’s strong opposition to prostitution. What I couldn’t understand was her reaction to her circumstances. Our girl immediately likens her room at the whorehouse to a “prison” and begins lamenting on how bored and useless she feels. Call me crazy, but I found it a little bizarre that our heroine felt “bored” when she should have been worried, scared out of her mind, frustrated by her memory loss, or all of the above.

However, things do get better – including Glory. What is interesting is how the author handles her transformation. While the hookers here all have the requisite hearts of gold, Glory is fairly unyielding in distaining their profession – that is until she gets to know the girls. As she begins to see them as real people who made choices, she too looks at the choices she’s made in her own life – including marrying a man who was entirely unworthy.

Steven is my favorite kind of hero – a sweet Beta guy who has always admired Glory but felt as a madam’s son he was unworthy of her. He rescues her, protects her, and with his caring nature ultimately woos her. While he does feel indebted to her for her father saving his mother’s life, he’s also not about to make excuses for his mother’s profession. Lorene made her choices, just as he made his by rescuing Glory.

While Glory’s behavior didn’t instill much hope in the beginning, by the end of the novel she really is a changed person. She’s better for her stay at Rainbow House, and even makes peace with events of the past. Steven endears himself with his what-you-see-is-what-you-get attitude, his steadfast vow to protect Glory, and his gentle wooing of her, even if he doesn’t think he’s wooing her at all. While the love scenes have some punch to them, they are sweet all the same – making The Courting of Widow Shaw one of the more tender romances I’ve read this year.

+++++

Wendy Looks Back: This obviously worked for me back in 2004, but I'm curious if it would hold up for me on a reread.  That may take a while though.  Even though it was published by Harlequin Historical, it's currently not available in digital or listed on the author's web site.  My guess?  Rights reverted back and the author just hasn't done anything with them yet.  Sands is one of those authors who sometimes works for me and sometimes doesn't.  She's been concentrating on contemporaries in recent years - publishing with both Harlequin Desire and Tule.

Retro Review: Hot Pink

This review of Hot Pink by Susan Johnson was originally posted at The Romance Reader in 2003. Back then I rated this 1-Heart (F Grade) with an MPAA sensuality rating of NC-17.

+++++

I started Hot Pink on a Sunday afternoon and read about 50 pages. For the next 4 days I picked it up long enough to stuff it in my purse. I couldn’t read anymore. I thought that maybe if I ignored it, it would go away. Or as my boyfriend so eloquently put it, “cease to exist.” But damn if I wasn’t assigned to review it – which meant my scruples made me finish it.

Chloe Chisolm has met her dream man in an elevator. He’s tall, dark, handsome and great in bed. In fact it’s the best sex Chloe has ever had, and if we’re to believe the narrative, Chloe has had more sexual partners than a horny seaman on leave. There’s just one little catch – he’s engaged to a beautiful, psycho ice princess.

Rocco Vinelli (no I didn’t make that up) isn’t really engaged to psycho Amy. He’s starting a business with his siblings, and Amy’s Daddy is an investor. Not wanting to ruin the deal and piss off Daddy – Rocco has been humoring the girl. However, now he’s met Chloe and he’s over the moon! What to do?

The biggest stumbling block with Hot Pink is the completely unlikable characters. I’ve never bought into the theory that the reader must “relate” to the characters to enjoy a story – but liking them, or finding them marginally interesting doesn’t hurt. Every character in this book is shallow and vacuous. If they aren’t having sex or thinking about it – they’re acting trendy and hip.

In a 295-page book, Chloe and Rocco somehow manage to not have one meaningful conversation. They are either boinking or doing the “he said, she said” routine. Amy says she and Rocco are engaged; Chloe doesn’t know what to believe, but she keeps sleeping with Rocco anyway. Ah yes, it must be true love! So when Rocco and Chloe both internally muse that what they feel for each other is “different” you can imagine my surprise.

The writing here, while decent, is lazy. In fact, I have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that the author known for her historicals laden with footnotes wrote Hot Pink. Characters aren’t created – they are compared. For instance, the only things we are told about Rocco are that he’s hot, incredible in bed and looks like Goran Visnjic. Another hottie that Chloe bangs is a young bartender who looks like Colin Farrell. Chloe gets a little more attention, but she’s given the “hip” short shift as well. She has pink hair, wears Jimmy Choos, and is a web designer. My benchmark for a good book is when I begin to believe the characters are real. These characters could never exist out of a CGI program or the Hollywood spin factory.

The whole thing is just tedious, right down to the conflict – which is solely Amy. This is a woman who is so one-dimensional that I half expected her to start cackling like a Disney villain. She’s a stalker, plain and simple. The fact that Rocco won’t tell her to take a long walk off a short pier only illustrates how unhero-like he is. I like Alphas and I like Betas, but a man who won’t stand up for himself is no hero.

The whole thing just makes my head hurt. So much so that I had to take a break from reading to vacuum my spare bedroom – yes you read that right, I resorted to housework! If you go for shallow characters and a story laden with “hip” name dropping, go right ahead. Feel free. Run, run, run to the nearest bookstore. I couldn’t take it. Unlikable, uncaring, unfeeling, and totally lacking in substance I couldn’t wait to be done with it. Or in less eloquent terms, I guess you could say Hot Pink left me cold.

+++++

Wendy Looks Back: I had to look up Goran Visnjic - that's apparently how memorable I found that guy.

Retro Review: Outlaw's Bride

This review of Outlaw's Bride by Maureen McKade was originally posted at The Romance Reader in 2001. Back then I rated this 4-Hearts (B Grade) with an MPAA sensuality rating of PG-13.

+++++

Clint Beaudry made a pit stop in Green Valley, Colorado only to have the owner of the local boardinghouse refuse to give him a room. Mattie St. Clair knew a hired gunman when she saw one and Clint was too tall, dark and dangerous looking to be anything but. Giving up, Clint camps out for the night in the woods behind Mattie’s house, only to be shot by the man he was tracking down. 

Mattie’s 10 year son, Andy, and her hired man, Herman, discover Clint back shot and take him home. The town doctor has to go to a neighboring settlement because of flu epidemic, so he leaves Clint with Mattie.

Clint is not happy to be laid up. The man who shot him was also the one who raped and murdered his wife, Emily. A U.S. Marshal at the time, Clint has been racked with guilt ever since, because he wasn’t home at the time to protect her. He made a promise to find the man responsible, but now is in too much pain to get out of bed, much less on his horse. Besides that, Mattie is as stubborn as a mule and watches him like a hawk.

Mattie was married to the town’s sheriff when his inexperience and short fuse got him killed. Widowed for 10 years, she makes ends meet by taking in laundry and boarders. She vehemently hates guns, and is more than a little overprotective of her son, the only person she has left in this world. She despises everything she thinks Clint stands for, and even though the two soon find themselves attracted to each other, they find that promises stand in their way. Clint is unable to break the promise he made to find his wife’s killer and Mattie is unwilling to fall in love with a man who lives by the gun.

Outlaw’s Bride is standard western fare that is sure to be a real crowd-pleaser. Mattie and Clint sizzle on the page, both of them exuding some heavy sexual tension. They both are lonely and drawn to each other, but their pride and mutual stubbornness keeps them from acknowledging how much they need one another.

Mattie’s first husband was killed before they could even finish the honeymoon. In her youth, she believed herself in love with Jason, but she was more in love with the idea of being needed. By the time she was eight, both of her parents were dead, and Mattie found herself in an orphanage. When Jason came along with all of his sweet talk, she quickly tumbled into bed with him and was just as quickly rushed to the altar.

Clint was more in love with his job than his first wife, and he believes his reluctance to quit led to her death. Guilt ridden, he doesn’t care whether or not he lives through the manhunt. While he’s immediately drawn to Mattie, he is unwilling to give up his search, believing that it is the only way he can do right by Emily now that she is gone.

McKade includes some nicely drawn secondary characters in Andy, Herman and Amelia, a local woman with a past. Children in romance have always been hit or miss characters for me, and the author’s depiction of a 10 year old desperate to be seen as a grown-up, but smothered by his overprotective mother, rings true.

My only minor complaint with this otherwise enjoyable western, was the fact that Mattie later suspects Clint of having an affair with Amelia, which just boggled my mind. The man is recovering from a gun shot wound, and doesn’t leave the house until page 150, how the heck could he carry on an affair?

Aside from that, Outlaw’s Bride is a tried and true story sure to please western buffs. McKade’s ability to write likable and wounded characters will undoubtedly win her more fans and a loyal following. I know I’ll be picking up her books in the future.

+++++

Wendy Looks Back: I was as good as my word with that last sentence - this was my first read by McKade and I've gone on to read a number of her westerns over the years.  While rights have reverted back to a number of her books and she's gone on to self-publish them, I believe she's retired these days.

Retro Review: The Challenge

This review of The Challenge by Susan Kearney was originally posted at The Romance Reader in 2005.  Back then I rated this 2-Hearts (D Grade) with an MPAA sensuality rating of NC-17.

+++++

Another promising story shot down by an ass masquerading as a hero.

Tessa Camen is a Secret Service Agent charged with protecting the first female President of the United States. Despite a rough and lonely childhood spent in multiple foster homes, Tessa has become a self-reliant, self-sufficient adult with an excellent job and service record. And she doesn’t hesitate when the President is threatened. Tessa does what she is trained to do – she throws herself in front of an assassin’s bullet.

However instead of ending up dead, Tessa ends up several hundred years in the future. She’s on a spaceship with a hunky alien named Kahn who’s telling her she has been selected by Earth to compete in The Challenge. If she passes this mysterious test, Earth will be invited to join an intergalactic federation. This is vital since Earth needs the technology that the Federation can provide in order to clean up its highly polluted environment.

Kahn is shocked to realize that Earth has selected a woman for the competition. He’s totally ill-equipped to train her and flummoxed by her 21st century opinions. Silly notions like women are equal to men and can voice their own opinions, work outside the home, and fight in combat. Tessa may be living in the future now, but her trainer and love interest is stuck in Prehistoric times.

The positive in this story has got to be Tessa, who is actually a really kick-ass babe. She’s tough, trained extensively in martial arts, and used to men underestimating her abilities. While she was once in love, they never consummated their relationship and he was killed in the line of duty. Part of the reason Tessa was chosen for The Challenge is because she’s a virgin (2019 note: OF COURSE SHE IS!!!).  Kahn decides to awaken her latent psi abilities by putting her in a suit that sexually frustrates her. Tessa is obviously not happy with this plan, and begs instead for Kahn to train her like a man – you know, crazy ideas like hand-to-hand combat.

Instead Kahn spends the whole blessed book acting like a Neanderthal. After a while I forgot Tessa had a name because he kept referring to her as “Woman.” How’s that for romance? Then he proceeds to berate her over the entire course of the story because women from his planet obey their men, do as they are told, and don’t initiate sex. Men call the shots and that’s the way Kahn likes it. This leaves Tessa at a disadvantage since our poor girl has a mind of her own.

For her part Tessa puts up a bit of a fight, but eventually caves thanks to Kahn sexually humiliating her - and golly he’s just so dang hot! So instead of doing something useful, like finding a gun and shooting him, she continues to argue with him, train for The Challenge and look for ways to please him.

Excuse me while I cough up a hairball.

Original Tor Cover

The last 100 pages or so of the story do improve a bit because Kahn stops scrapping his knuckles on the ground. He still calls her woman – but we can’t expect miracles. The sex is also pretty hot, if you can get past the displeasure of Kahn humiliating Tessa on a couple of occasions by bringing her to the brink then abandoning her. My hero. It’s not really domination and submission play per se, but there is some kinkier stuff involved (such as spanking) that makes these scenes comparable to a romantica (2019 note: review written before we all settled on "erotic romance" as a term) novel.

Despite the intriguing promise of the plot, The Challenge is ultimately an extremely frustrating read. In her forward Kearney mentions that she first wrote this story in the early 1990s, but at that time no one was buying “sexy paranormals.” However it’s hard to find any book “sexy” when the hero leaves the reader so cold that it’s like shooting over Niagara Falls naked, in a barrel, in February. It’s really too bad Tessa never looked for a gun on that spaceship. She could have disposed of the hero that evolution forgot.

+++++

Wendy Looks Back: Oh, the mid-2000s. When paranormal became the hot sub genre du jour, publishers were begging for it, and every writer who read Warrior's Woman by Johanna Lindsey one too many times started unearthing every half-baked manuscript from depths of their filing cabinet. I remember this hero being of the intolerable Old School Bodice Ripper variety - and that was nearly 15 years ago.  I can't imagine he's aged much better in the intervening years....

Retro Review: Lion Heart

This review of Lion Heart by Tanya Anne Crosby was originally posted at The Romance Reader in 2000.  Back then I rated it 2-Hearts (D grade) with an MPAA sensuality content rating of PG-13.

+++++

Tanya Anne Crosby returns to the Scottish Highlands in this latest installment of her long running series. But while fans may find this return trip enjoyable, new readers will find this story less satisfying.

Broc MacEanraig was off playing on the day Englishmen murdered his whole family. Even though he was only 7 at the time, he felt he should have been there to defend them. Shortly thereafter, he is taken in by the MacKinnon clan, and grows up to be a loyal servant to the laird. Because of his guilt, Broc seems to be drawn into perilous situations by damsels in distress. So when he happens across the English Elizabet in trouble, he swears to see her to safety.

Elizabet is the bastard daughter of a courtesan, and her newly married father sends her and her half-brother, John, off to Scotland to live with his cousin, Piers de Montgomerie. Piers has no idea they are coming, and Elizabet fears they will be turned away. Even worse, her father sent her dowry along, and she fears that Piers just may wed her off. Traveling under the watchful eye of her stepmother’s brother, Tomas, Elizabet separates from the group in search of her wayward dog, Harpy.

She finds Harpy, along with Broc, and the two immediate begin bantering. But while Broc is intrigued, he’s not so distracted that he doesn’t notice a bowman in the woods, aiming right for Elizabet! He immediately takes her captive, determined to find out who would want to kill her. Not wanting to send her back into the path of danger, he decides to keep her hidden in the woods, until he can fully assess the situation.

Elizabet’s disappearance stirs up trouble in the highlands. Tomas wants her back, and enlists the help of Piers, his men, and several of Broc’s own friends to find her. None of them know Broc’s involvement, and Broc fears that once they do find out, the peace among the clans will be disrupted. The only way to keep Elizabet safe is to find out who the mysterious bowman is, and why he would want her dead. But that means hiding away with her in the woods, and their growing attraction is soon too intense for either of them to deny.

The main problem with long running romance series is that future books are soon overrun with characters. This story includes secondary characters that were once romantic leads in previous installments: Piers and Meghan, Colin and Serana, Iain and Page. Meghan and Colin are siblings and they have two brothers, Gavin and Leith. Iain also has children -- Cameron and Constance. Add to this menagerie Tomas and John, and while they don’t make appearances -- Elizabet’s father and stepmother -- and the list of characters to keep track of is out of control. Many of these characters simply take up space, which could have been better spent on Broc and Elizabet.

Original Cover

Elizabet is immediately problematic due to the ease in which she learns to trust Broc. She doesn’t have a very rosy view of men, no doubt due to her mother’s profession, and has sworn to never marry or fall prey to a man’s charms. Yet she almost immediately believes Broc’s story about the bowman, and voluntarily stays in hiding with him. She supposedly doesn’t trust men, but she quite willingly and expediently tumbles into Broc’s embrace. Some hesitancy would have made her more credible. 

Broc is a likeable sort of hero, but I soured on him the minute he begins to compulsively lie to not only Elizabet, but Iain (his own laird) and Colin (his best friend). Broc doesn’t tell the little white variety either, his lies are real doosies. And while he has his own reasons, they just aren’t good enough excuses to look past the things he chooses to lie about.

Readers who have followed this series from the beginning will probably get more pleasure out of Lion Heart than I did. Too many, unnecessary secondary characters cluttering the plot, Broc’s blatant lying, and Elizabet’s lack of hesitancy were just too much for me to overcome.

Retro Review: Never Trust a Lady

This review of Never Trust a Lady by Suzanne Robinson was originally posted at The Romance Reader in 2008.  Back then I rated this 3-Hearts (C grade) with an MPAA-style content rating of "G."

++++

Lady Eva Sparrow is a young widow and squeezing all the fun out of life that she can. After an unhappy childhood, and dreadful marriage, Eva has spent the last few years traveling aboard and having various adventures. However, it is while visiting friends in Mississippi, at the dawn of the Civil War, that Eva finds herself called to action. Horrified by slavery, she is determined to help any way she can – and she gets her wish when she learns that her British political connections could aid the Union cause.

Ryder Drake owns a ranch in Texas, but the threat of war has led him to set up a Union spy network to keep tabs on the Confederates. He also wants to make sure that the South fails in rallying support from the British – and to do that he needs an insider who can introduce him to British political figures. He really doesn’t want to enable the help of Lady Eva Sparrow, thinking she’s just another bubble-headed female.

However Ryder soon learns of an assassination attempt that would surely mean Britain declaring war on the Union. He has exhausted all other possibilities and must try to gain favor with Lady Eva – a task that finds him in a perilous situation since he has grossly underestimated her intelligence.

I feel fairly confident in saying that Never Trust A Lady is not a romance. Oh sure, there’s a romance – but it is most definitely a subplot and not wholly satisfying. Lady Eva is normally the sort of heroine I like. She was dissatisfied playing the beautiful, empty-headed hostess to her much older husband and has spent her widowhood traveling, learning and basically having her own opinions. For the bulk of the story I found her rather refreshing – although there are a couple of instances where she comes off like a petulant child because the boys won’t listen to her.

Ryder has mommy issues. Like many romance heroes before him, his mother was a society shrew who only cared for baubles and parties, therefore neglecting her marriage and only son. Sigh. So naturally because Eva is a British Lady and moves in certain desirable circles, she must be a ninny. He eventually realizes that he’s the moron, but this same old song and dance routine was more than a little disappointing.

What does work much better than the romance is Robinson’s skill when it comes to writing history, and her inclusion of real historical figures was an added bonus. Notable secondary characters include Alan Pinkerton, Abraham Lincoln, and Queen Victoria herself. The Victorian London setting is also well done – right down to gaslights, seedy slums, and descriptions of the sewer system.

The mystery of the assassination attempt is middle of the road. The author does toss in an acceptable red herring – but sad to say that I pretty much knew where it was going before I had actually concluded the journey. Readers who pick up mystery novels with any sort of frequency may find themselves in the same boat. That said, I never got bored with the main focus of the story, and easily kept turning the pages.

Enjoyment of Never Trust A Lady hinges on what the reader is looking for. Those wanting a romance will probably find themselves frustrated, while those looking for a historical novel should be more satisfied. The ending also leaves this reviewer pondering if this is the potential birth of a new series – as while there is a happily ever after, it’s not exactly signed, sealed and delivered. It certainly wouldn’t be out of the question – which could make Never Trust A Lady of particular interest to fans of historical mystery series.

+++++

Wendy Note: Another book I have absolutely no recall on but my sleuthing indicates that this book never did spin out into a series.

Retro Review: Leave It To Cleavage

This review of Leave It to Cleavage by Wendy Wax originally was posted at The Romance Reader in 2004. Back then I gave it a rating of 4-Hearts (B Grade) with a sensuality content rating of PG.

Every now and then a book comes along to remind me why I keep reviewing books after 5+ years. There are two perks to this volunteer job 1) discovering new authors and 2) loving a book that you normally would not have a touched with a 10-foot pole. This second novel by Wax definitely falls into the second category. It’s got a silly title, a bright orange cover featuring a pink bra, and it screams romantic comedy – a sub genre that very rarely works for yours truly. So you can imagine my delight when I read the first page and was immediately hooked.

Miranda Smith is a former beauty queen and heir apparent to her family’s long-running lingerie business. However, while she has an MBA, her husband is the one running the company. Miranda is more of a spokeswoman than anything else. However it’s on a cold January day when her world comes crashing down around her.

She’s in her husband’s office looking for a stamp when she finds some pictures – pictures of Tom wearing women’s lingerie. Also in one of these pictures is a woman’s hand, sporting a perfect French manicure, poised on Tom’s butt. Flabbergasted, Miranda also discovers a letter from the bank that mentions an audit of her family’s company, Ballantyne Bras. Seems Tom was cooking the books.

But that’s not the worst of it. Tom also emptied their joint bank accounts and his closets. He then left her a “Dear Miranda” letter saying he wasn’t coming back. With Ballantyne Bras as the driving force of the local economy, plus with no clue as to extent of the damage her husband has wrought – Miranda has no choice. She’s going to have to take over the running of Ballantyne, try and come up with a plan to save the company, find the weaselly Tom, oh and divorce his sorry butt. However things get even stickier when the handsome local police chief starts snooping around. Why won’t Blake Summers just leave well enough alone?

Blake won’t leave well enough alone because he gets a tip from an anonymous caller claiming that Tom has met with foul play, and that Miranda had something to do with it. So Blake decides to do some snooping around – only to become seriously distracted by Miranda.

I loved this story from the get-go thanks to Wax’s charming, breezy writing style. It’s crisp, clear and kept me easily turning the pages. It also helps that it’s funny without trying too hard. While some of the plot borders on silly at times, Wax reigns herself in before she goes over the top. She also has a way of making the silly sound totally plausible, and making the reader swallow every spoonful with nary a nagging doubt in sight.

What seals the deal though are the characters – which are often found in silly circumstances but are never silly themselves. Miranda is a refreshing woman with a lot working for her. She’s a former beauty queen with brains. She’s battled infertility problems, but thought her marriage was sound. Tom’s disappearance is a rude awakening that allows our heroine to take control of her life. Blake is a sexy and charming, with an older father to look out for and a jock teenage daughter to raise. Imagine this poor guy’s confusion with his basketball star “little girl” decides she wants to enter a local beauty pageant, starts wearing make-up, and has boys sniffing around!

Leave It To Cleavage is much more than a standard romantic comedy, and I can’t help thinking that Bantam shoe-stringed it with its dopey bubblegum cover art and title. It’s a cozy mystery and women’s fiction novel with a romance tucked neatly inside. While Miranda is taking control of her life, she also has to figure out where the heck Tom is, plus deal with her burgeoning feelings for Blake. The romance is just gravy for our girl, and by the end of the novel this reviewer was cheering her on has she makes her final stand. Very easily one of my very few standout books of the year – don’t miss it.

Retro Review: Hearts by Stef Ann Holm

This review of Hearts by Stef Ann Holm was first published at The Romance Reader in 2001.  At that time I rated it 5-Hearts (A Grade) with a sensuality rating of PG-13.

+++++

I was very busy last week - so busy, in fact, that I only managed to get the first 50 pages of Hearts read. I found myself too exhausted to hold the book up, let alone give it the attention it deserved, so I put it on hold until President’s Day, when I had the whole blessed day to myself. Literally finishing it in one sitting, I have decided that I may have grounds to sue my boss for unfair labor practices - you be the judge.

Since 1852, the Valentines had always married on Valentine’s Day, but the tradition will most likely stop at Truvy Valentine. Tall, athletic and a schoolteacher to boot, she might as well have spinster stamped on her forehead. Truvy has resigned herself to her fate, although she can’t deny that she wishes she would marry and have children. The fact is, men like women who are delicate, petite and feminine - qualities that Truvy doesn’t possess.

However, all her musings on her spinsterhood pale in comparison to the pickle she’s landed herself in. The main benefactress for St. Francis Academy for Girls passed out dead away when she overheard Truvy reading to her students from The Science of Life - a sexual education book. Truvy’s supervisor really has no choice but to put her on a leave of absence until after the Christmas holiday.

Truvy had been planning on visiting her old college friend, Edwina Wolcott, in Harmony, Montana anyway, so she decides to extend her visit. Edwina is very pregnant, and Truvy is anxious to make herself useful, and to keep her mind off her current state of unemployment. Instead, she comes face to face with a man who is more than happy to help her out.

Jake “Bruiser” Brewster is a former bodybuilder and boxer, who now runs his own gym in Harmony. A large hunk of a man, he’s used to women fawning all over his muscles, but then he meets Miss Valentine - an intelligent woman who seems to not find him remotely attractive and takes him for blockhead. However, from the moment they both set eyes on each other, it’s too late. They try really hard to convince themselves that it possibly couldn’t work, but can’t help being intrigued all the same.

There is so much to like about Hearts, it’s really hard to know where to begin. First, I should say that for me, a good romance is one that takes some of the old tried and true formulas and tweaks them a bit. Holm does just that, and it makes Hearts not only an original story, but a heartwarming one as well. Sure Truvy is a schoolteacher, but she’s also an athlete, something she doesn’t like to openly discuss. She wants to be feminine, desirable, and women athletes are often seen as mannish freaks of nature.

Likewise Jake is, on the surface, his own cliché - having come from an extremely humble background, leaving home at 14 to escape an abusive father. Having been abandoned by his mother at a young age, he feels that a happy marriage and family couldn’t possibly be in the cards for him - what does he know about raising a family when his is such a mess? Also, there’s the small matter of Jake having a past failed relationship, making him reluctant. What is refreshing here is that Jake does not think that all women must be spawn of Satan because of this failed relationship. I know, it was a shock to me as well.

The main source of conflict is Truvy’s insecurity (what man could possibly be attracted to an over the hill athletic school teacher) and Jake’s belief that he wasn’t meant for love and family. That’s it. No wastrel brother who squandered the family fortune. No will stating that Truvy must marry to claim an inheritance. No witchy other woman trying to keep the couple apart. No nefarious Snidely Whiplash waiting to tie Truvy to the train tracks. It is quite simple, straightforward, and utterly wonderful.

After I finished the last page (well past my bed time), I found myself unable to sleep - my thoughts drifting back to the story and wishing I could start all over again. I can think of no higher compliment than that. Charming, delightful, and sweet, Hearts has won mine. Now I think it’s time my lawyer and I had a little chat with my boss…

+++++

Wendy Looks Back: I came to romance just as the last gasps were going out of the "Americana" sub genre.  Holm went on to write contemporary romance and has self-published a few titles, but unfortunately her entire Americana backlist looks unavailable in digital and is out of print.  This is the fourth book in a series but trust me when I say it stands alone extremely well (when assigned to review this I had never read Holm before...).  I remember loving the world-building, the small town Montana setting, and the romantic couple, who both had their insecurities but were perfect for each other.  It's been a dog's age since I've read this but my memories are extremely fond.

Retro Review: Call Down The Night

This review for Call Down the Night by Sandy Moffett was first posted at The Romance Reader in 2002.  Back then, I gave it 4-Hearts (B Grade) and a MPAA sensuality rating of PG-13.  Please note: the book has been reprinted under a new title: The Seer.

+++++

Alexandra Gables came to Salem, Massachusetts, to help a friend of her father’s catalog his flower collection. When her father is unexpectedly delayed in England, Alexandra travels from their Boston home to take on the project alone. When she arrives at the docks, she comes face to face with dashing shipwright, Pierce Williams.

Pierce has taken over the family ship building business after his father decides that he would rather spend more time on his scientific hobbies. Pierce sees this as an impractical waste of time; and having to alter his busy schedule to deliver the intern to their home is just another inconvenience. Imagine his surprise when the young man he is expecting to meet turns out to be a young woman.

 Alexandra and Pierce soon find themselves engaging in a battle of wits. Pierce is sure this is another of his father’s attempts to marry him off, but can’t deny that he is attracted to Alexandra’s intelligence, spunk and beauty. In turn, Alexandra is drawn to Pierce, but soon finds life in Salem unsettling. Upon her arrival, she is plagued by strange visions - visions that may be linked to a curse rooted in the witch trials 100 years prior - visions that foretell Pierce’s death.

 Alexandra is an interesting character, as while she is “ahead of time,” she doesn’t suffer from the same pitfalls that befall other modern heroines in historical romances. Alexandra is an educated woman, thanks to a scholarly father who instilled a love of learning to his only child. She isn’t out to necessarily change the world, and realistically knows the obstacles she faces in her quest for acceptance. She just wants to be taken seriously, and not have her ideas dismissed simply because she is female.

Pierce holds the same ideals that society does - that woman should marry, have kids and maintain a household. However, he quickly finds himself enchanted with Alexandra - and comes to cherish the time they spend together, especially in discussion. Sure, she is a beautiful woman, but our hero is also attracted to her mind.

The paranormal element to the story has a light touch, and Moffett doesn’t bog the story down with otherworldly happenings. In fact, Alexandra’s visions, her search for the truth, and the mysterious happenings had me easily turning the pages. The author also includes some interesting tidbits of history about Salem, smallpox inoculation, ship building and sailing.

Sandy Moffett’s debut happens to be book 2 in The MacInness Legacy trilogy - with books 1 and 3 written by sister, Julie Moffett. While Call Down The Night does stand alone quite well, all of the conflicts are not neatly resolved in the end - leaving plenty of conflict for all the romantic couples in book 3.

Readers hungry for a gothic revival should find Call Down The Night an interesting spin on an old favorite. Be warned though - after the close of the last chapter, you may see a bookstore in your future.

+++++

Wendy Looks Back: Seriously, like zero recall on this one.  None whatsoever.  Of course it's been 16 years since I read it, so that may have something to do with it....

Retro Review: Stay With Me

This review of Stay With Me by Beverly Long was first posted at The Romance Reader in 2005.  Back then, I rated this 3-Hearts (C Grade) with an MPAA sensuality content rating of PG-13.

+++++

Here’s something you don’t see everyday – a new time travel western. While not flawless, Stay With Me will certainly be of interest to time travel and western romances fans alike.

Sarah Jane Tremont is a burnt-out social worker living in Los Angeles. She’s just plain tired. For every child she helps, there are a dozen more waiting in line. She made it through her last day of work and is walking along the beach when a storm kicks up. The next thing Sarah knows she’s in John Beckett’s cabin in 1888 Wyoming Territory.

John is flabbergasted to see Sarah on his doorstep. After his brother was killed in a silver mine collapse, the grieving widow hightailed it out of town with the family’s savings. He wants to slam the door in her face, but she’s bleeding and obviously confused. Plus there’s the ultimate question – what the heck is she doing back in town?

Sarah is a bright girl and soon realizes that 1) she’s traveled back in time and 2) she’s the spitting image of John’s witchy sister-in-law. She also realizes that crazy people who go spouting off about time travel in 1888 might not be well received. So lacking options she assumes the role of Sarah Beckett until she can figure out how to get back to present day L.A.

Our Sarah is obviously nothing like Sarah One, so her shift in personality has John confused. Sarah is soon helping his widowed best friend, Fred, by babysitting his three children. She also takes to playing piano in church and even rescues a local saloon girl when a customer attacks her. The Sarah that was married to his brother would certainly never behave in such a fashion.

Stay With Me is one of those books where the secondary romance works better than the primary one. John spends so much time avoiding Sarah and thinking ill of her that it’s hard to believe it when he realizes he’s in love. It’s his animosity towards Sarah One that leads our Sarah to move to town, hence triggering off the more interesting aspects of the story – Sarah’s interaction with the townspeople who knew Sarah One and the secondary romance.

Original Berkley Cover

That secondary romance features John’s widowed friend, Fred, and a local saloon girl, Suzanne. There are obvious complications however. Respectable men don’t marry saloon girls – especially when that respectable man has three children and a preacher father-in-law to worry about. Also, Fred was in love with his dead wife, he doesn’t want to be disrespectful to her memory by falling in love again.

While the primary romance is a little lackluster things roll along pretty well until the end when some unpleasantness appears. Sarah has an unfortunate too-stupid-to-live moment and the sex scene finally happens. The too-stupid-to-live moment was likely the author’s way to get John to finally admit that he loves Sarah, so while annoying, it can be understood. The sex scene though was hard to overlook since it landed firmly in Purple Prose Territory. Gems like “you taste rich and sweet and I am a greedy man,” and “your womanly scent fills my bed making me want with an urgency I cannot describe” only reinforce the opinion that heroes should never talk during love scenes.

All that said I found Stay With Me a largely entertaining read. The author writes nice characters, and I especially enjoyed the interaction Sarah had with the wide cast of secondary players. While the road isn’t always entirely smooth, it’s still a nice journey.

+++++

Wendy Looks Back: I'm admittedly not much for time travel but, yes you guessed it, the historical western angle is what reeled me in here.  Long is still writing, although these days it's romantic suspense for both Harlequin Intrigue and Harlequin Romantic Suspense.  I actually read one of her Harlequin Intrigues for the 2016 TBR Challenge and didn't make the connection.  For those of you curious about this book - at the time of this posting, it was a very reasonably priced 99 cents over at Amazon.