My old man's drunker than a barrel full of monkeys; And my old lady she don't care; My sister looks cute in her braces and boots; A handful of grease in her hair......"
Me: Sweetheart, I love Elton John, but I'm not sure this song is...uh...age appropriate.
Lemon Drop: Geez, Auntie Wendy. You are so square. I expected more out of the aunt who talks to me about her erotic romance reading.
Me: Well, tell you what. Let me talk to you about what books I read last month, and you can think up a song that's more appropriate for an almost-1-year-old to be singing. Maybe a nice rendition of Mary Had A Little Lamb or Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star?
Lemon Drop: Wait a minute, didn't you celebrate your blog's anniversary last month? I'll think up an appropriate song to sing in honor of the auspicious occasion!
Me: ::pause:: Um, okay. Sure. I didn't mark the occasion here at the Bat Cave, but I have been blogging for 8 years now. Sure, you think up a song. In the meantime, I only read six books last month. I seemed to struggle with my mojo quite a bit, reading in spurts.
Title links will take you to full reviews.
Proud Rancher, Precious Bundle by Donna Alward, Contemporary romance, Harlequin Romance, 2011, Grade = B
- Single hero gets the shock of a lifetime when he discovers his baby niece abandoned on his doorstep. Desperate beyond measure, he seeks help from the heroine - who is currently house-sitting for his neighbors. Nice traditional romance that didn't feel "old-fashioned." Harlequin Cheat Sheet: Rancher Hero With Daddy Issues, Divorced Heroine Done Wrong, One Messed-Up Half Sister, Baby Ahoy!
- Heroine with booming biological clock wants a date with a turkey baster when the younger hero proposes marriage. He's been in love with her forever, and figures now is the time to end her excuses. Yummy, lickable hero, but I had issues with the heroine.
- My TBR Challenge read for the month. Plain Jane spinster heroine takes in mute crippled orphan girl, only to have the child's uncle show-up on her doorstep. A nice, gentle romance that gave me that warm, cozy feeling that I've come to expect from a Cheryl St. John western. Harlequin Cheat Sheet: Retired Army Hero, Plain Jane Spinster Heroine, Hero In Pursuit, Two Orphaned Waifs, Small Town
- Wounded Hero pressed into naval service as common sailor is recouping at country estate thanks to an influential cousin. Heroine is the host's daughter, and dreams of the day when she can finally escape the country and have her Season in London - where she's sure to be belle of the ball. A quiet, gentle story with a slower, leisurely pace. Liked the nice "feel" for the Regency era, and enjoyed the declarations of lurve at the end. Harlequin Cheat Sheet: Gentleman Hero With Zero Prospects, Reformed Rake, Debutante Heroine, Smugglers Ahoy!, One Wastrel Little Brother, One Sequel Baitin' Cousin.
- The read of the month. After a five-year marriage of convenience, heroine is ready to call it quits, when hero comes home to the family ranch to lick his wounds when a scientific mission in Africa goes wrong. An emotionally messy and complicated love story, I devoured every single page. Harlequin Cheat Sheet: Rancher Heroine, Scientist Hero With Mommy and Daddy Issues, Marriage of Convenience, One Sequel-Baitin' Sister, One Sequel-Baitin' Hunky Hunk Neighbor, One Whiskey Bottle Hittin' Daddy.
- OK, technically a reread. So sue me. Portland, Oregon is flooding and it's up to damaged detective Archie Sheridan, and plucky girl reporter, Susan Ward, to track down a serial killer poisoning victims and dumping them in the river. Wonderful sense of urgency and a suspense thread just wacky enough to keep me eagerly flipping the pages.
Lemon Drop: "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch; Oh the bitch is back; Stone cold sober as a matter of fact; I can bitch, I can bitch; `Cause I'm better than you; It's the way that I move; The things that I do...."
Me: Oh nice! The Bitch Is Back indeed! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Lemon Drop: ::sheepish smile::
Me: Your mommy is going to kill me, and we won't even mention your father....