Sunday, March 6, 2011

Random Romance Sunday: Honey-Gold Eyes And Pouts Of Passion

The Book: Heart's Desire by Vivian Vaughan

The Particulars: Historical romance, Kensington Zebra, 1987, Out of Print, Apparently the first book in a series.

The Blurb: 
Holly Campbell got off the stage in Silver Creek with steely determination in her velvet-brown eyes. The telegram had said her father committed suicide in this peaceful town, but she'd never believe that. He'd been murdered and she was here to prove it. She'd do it alone, too--her father's letters had told her whom to trust and it sure wasn't the sheriff. Quintan Jarvis was as crooked as they came, and Holly meant to keep her distance ... despite the way his honey-gold eyes lit up at the sight of her... and the way her traitorous body yearned for the handsome lawman's embrace.

Quintan Jarvis didn't know what to make of the beautiful woman who got off the afternoon stage. She looked every inch the lady, but she behaved like a vicious little spitfire. He'd done nothing to earn her rude words and hostile glances, and he wasn't going to stand for much more of this nonsense. He'd enjoy teaching the vixen a lesson about manners ... and men. He'd make that sassy mouth of hers pout with passion, taste the sweetness of her smooth, creamy skin, feel her soft curves press against him, begging for the loving that was her true HEART'S DESIRE
Is It In Wendy's TBR?:  No, but I have to be honest here.  I mean, if I can't be honest on my own blog, what's the point, right?  Ahem.  OK, I'll just come out and say it.  Looking at this cover, reading this back cover blurb, being the old school western junkie that I am?  Yeah, I'd rescue this from a used bookstore if I were to run across it.  I probably wouldn't go out of my way to search out a copy, but if I stumbled across it?  By chance?  Yeah, I'd rescue it.  Sick monkey that I am.

Any Reviews?:  1987, so nada.  Not even on Amazon or GoodReads.  I got nothing people!

Anything Else?:  Looking at this book I find myself mentally running down the Old Skool Romance Check-List in my head.  For starters, let's take the cover:

1). Clinch pose with clothes falling off - check.
2). Couple standing in some mysterious cotton-candy like substance - check.
3).  Deranged wild life on cover either a horse, a bird of prey or both - check.
4).  Mustachioed hero - preferably with Tom Selleck fullness, but Clark Gable will do in a pinch - check.
5).  Cheesy tagline - check. ("She ached for the love of a man she could never trust!")

Now the back cover blurb:

1).  You can never harp on too much about eye color.  Eye color is very important - check.
2).  It's not a historical romance without some sort of family secret plot thread - check.
3).  The heroine's body is always, always "traitorous." - check.
4).  The heroine needs to be described as a "vixen", "sassy," or a "spitfire."  Any variation and use of these words will do - check.
5).  This is very important - the heroine must not trust the hero, and it must be implied on the back cover that she'll fight him every step of the way, all the while her traitorous body is succumbing to his honeyed kisses - check.

I mean honestly - is it any wonder why I'd have to rescue this book if I saw it?  I mean, how am I supposed to resist this much over-the-top 1980s cheesy historical western romance goodness?  I'm a mere mortal.  If you cut me, do I not bleed?


Reina M. Williams said...

lol. Thanks. Love the Maleficent pic. :)

azteclady said...

If I were to find a copy anywhere, rest assured that I'd sent it to you, Wendy.

Frances Pergano said...

Great sunday reads

Joykenn said...

Humm, Vivian Vaughan...that has GOT to be a madeup name. That has got to be hitting every cliche out there. Vixen, secrets, can't trust him, fake Western details. And the author's name. I bet you could take this book, change her to some girl looking for lost brother, missing sister, inheriting a ranch. Then change the eye color, the hair color, from sheriff to Texas ranger to boundy hunter to neighboring rancher. Keep the cheesy dialogue and you could easily crank out 4 or 5 of these books in short order. I don't know, Wendy, that you are drawn to this stuff....a serious weakness there. Some guy comes along with cowboy boots and a western hat and you're likely to go crazy. ;-)

Wendy said...

Reina: Maleficent might be my favorite Disney villain. It's the voice and the look, I think.

AL: It's not nice to make fun of my weakness :) And hey, did you get those JKJ books I sent you? Assuming you have.....

Frances: Well, I don't know about great, but certainly interesting!

Joy: You forgot the most cliched old school western trope of them all! The long lost gold mine! OMG - every terrible western romance I've ever read has featured the long lost gold mine plot.

I don't know what it is with me, but the cheesey over-the-top-ness of earlier historicals is just "easier" for me to handle in westerns. I'm not sure why. Maybe because it's my fave sub genre? Maybe because there are less society "rules" for the author to flat-out ignore or rewrite? But yeah, a cheesey sounding book set in Regency London is harder for me to swallow.

azteclady said...

Not making fun! (would I????)

And yes, I got them--thought I had sent you a 'thank you' card, but either I didn't or the USPS ate it.

(More likely the first, as I'm suffering from fried brain this year)

Wendy said...

AL: I know all about fried brain syndrome...believe me! Glad they arrived safe and sound. Enjoy!