Review: Murders Buys a One-Way Ticket

I've been a horrible slump. It's a slump that was born out of equal parts work stress, a year so far where my average reads are in a dead heat with good and great reads (combined) and just not having the spoons to do much eyeball reading. Frankly though, this funk I've been in has started to annoy me, so I decided it was time to try pure, unadulterated brain candy. A book where I knew exactly what I was going to get, and as luck would have it, Murder Buys A One-Way Ticket by Laura Levine dropped in late June.

Spoilers Ahoy!

This is the 20th book in a series that started in the early 2000s and I would compare it to the Stephanie Plum books by Janet Evanovich on one very salient point - you're basically getting the same plot structure over and over again. There are just certain things I know are going to happen to our heroine, freelance writer, Jaine Austen, in each new book: 

1. A dating disaster of epic proportions. 
2. Jaine's various food obsessions (seriously, at this point I'm convinced she has an undiagnosed eating disorder and should work with a shrink about her comfort eating....) 
3. Wacky hijinks her parents (OK, her father) get into in their Florida retirement community, relayed via email. 
4. At least one mention of Jaine's favorite T-Shirt (Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!) and clothing with elastic waist bands.
5. Her fabulous gay neighbor, Lance, lamenting her wardrobe and roping her into some scheme that he's sure will help bag him Mr. Right. 
6. Jaine's cat Prozac being the "owner" in their relationship.

But whereas I quit Stephanie Plum after Book 17 because of the main character being a flaming hypocrite and the super thin mysteries, Levine, for all the problematic faults in some of her books (broad humor is tricky, you either stick the landing or plummet to Earth like an anvil) never skimps on the mystery. There's always multiple suspects, with compelling motives (the victims are usually widely loathed), condensed in a short word count (usually around 230 pages).  A lot of this can be explained by Levine's history as a sitcom writer.  The mysteries keep me guessing and the books are snappy as hell.

This time out Jaine takes a ghostwriting job for Chip Miller, owner of a string of successful gyms looking to publish a Fitness For Dummies style book. Jaine is to join Chip and his entourage in a trip from Los Angeles to Santa Barbara by private railway. A veritable lap of luxury way to travel, except, of course, Chip turns out to be a tyrant. On board are family members, his fiancée', his right hand man / best pal in the gym enterprise, and the staff (specifically a waiter and a cook) who all hate his guts. So truly, it's not a huge surprise when Chip turns up dead, smothered to death in bed by one of his many "World's Greatest Dad" pillows. Naturally, the cops zero in on Jaine as possible suspect. To clear her good name she's going to once again turn amateur sleuth.

This is by far the strongest entry in the last several. The mystery is solid, there's a ton of suspects, all with compelling motives, and some of the broad humor that has annoyed me is tempered a wee bit. It's still there, but this time out Jaine's father's antics while still wacky as hell didn't hit me quite as wacky as some of the last few books. Lance, who I feel had turned snide and borderline vicious in the later entries, is positively mellow here.  Heck, even Prozac isn't nearly as mean spirited. Is it still broad humor? Is it still following the well-trod path of each book that proceeded this one? Yes and yes. But it worked better here with this story than in the last handful of entries.

Finally, the ending. One word: wowzers! This would be why I put the Spoiler label at the start of this review. Folks, it's happened. Jaine finally gets a happy ending. I'm not sure what this means, but I see three possibilities: 

1. This is the end of the line for the series. Jaine rides off into the sunset to live happily-ever-after.
2. The series will continue, but the author will take Jaine in a slightly new direction now that she has a romantic partner.
3. It all goes to hell between the end of this book and the start of the next book. Jaine's back to being single.

I truly hope #3 doesn't happen, because the happy ending is amusing and apropos for a character named Jaine Austen. Time, as they say, will tell.  In the meantime, I'm not ready to declare the slump dead, but this book helped to at least give it a flesh wound.

Final Grade = B

Edited to add 7/15/24: The author posted on her Facebook page (7/12/24) that this will be the last full length book in the series. So now I'm doubly happy that Jaine found her Mr. Right.

Mini-Reviews: Suspense Round-Up

While my reading mojo has been pretty decent for the start of 2023, my blogging mojo is still on life support. I used to be the girl who would write up to three blog posts a week and these days getting one done feels a bit like climbing Mt. Everest. So in a bid to not let this blog stagnant, plus provide proof that I have been reading, it's time for another round of mini-reviews - the all suspense edition!

Monkey in the Middle byLoren D. Estleman is the 30th book in the author's Amos Walker series, which began back in 1980. Amos was old school back then, which means in a modern digital age he's practically a dinosaur. I've got a thing for hardboiled PI types working "the mean streets" and Amos' beat is Detroit - which is a pitch perfect setting for crime novels given that the truth is usually more bizarre and corrupt than any fiction writer could cook up.  This time out Amos is hired (sort of) by a greener than grass would-be journalist who is in way over his head with an on-the-run government whistleblower. Complicating matters for Amos are a bestselling author with connections to the case, a media savvy (and hungry) defense attorney, and an assassin who Amos has a history with. Oh, and his ex-wife just passed away. 

I read Estleman for the writing (the man can turn a phrase) and the world-building. I stay to see how many jabs he can take at the Detroit Tigers and Detroit Lions.  This was a really solid read that kept me guessing and, per usual, I was sucked into Amos' world.  Then I got to the ending, which just didn't work for me. Out of the all the possible whodunits, Estleman went with the one that made the least amount of sense to me. I just didn't "get" the motive - and I'm a tidy reader who likes motive.  Also, by book #30 it's expected that stand-alone might be a bridge too far, but I've hop-scotched around this series so there was some series baggage here I didn't entirely "get." I still understood what was happening and who people were, but I think that aspect will work better for folks caught up on the series.

Final Grade = B-

Ghost 19 by Simone St. James is a novella that released on audio back in October 2022, and was published in eBook this month. I'm a major St. James fangirl and couldn't believe I lost track of the audio debut, and not wanting to wait for the eBook that's the format I went with.

Meh. I was disappointed in this.  St. James employs the slightly unhinged heroine trope which I've made no bones about admitting to the entire world I REALLY DO NOT LIKE IN SUSPENSE NOVELS I WANT ALL THE COMPETENT HEROINES GIVE THEM TO ME NOW!  

Ahem.  Anyway.  It's 1959 and middling actress Ginette Cox leaves New York City on the advice of her doctor who suggests she needs less "excitement" in her life. She rents a house upstate where she takes to watching her new neighbors a la Hitchcock's Rear Window. She's not in residence at 19 Howard Avenue for long when she starts hearing unearthly noises coming from the basement.  Oh, and she's trapped - she literally cannot leave the house. Is it a ghost or is it her own madness?

Look, I'm not a complete dunderhead. I get what St. James was doing with the whole misogyny late 1950s "hysterical" woman living an unconventional life society disapproves of thing - but I just couldn't with Ginette. She annoyed me. Oh and did I mention this mess of nerves somehow bags a man at the end of the book? The ghost story was suitably creepy and the crime compelling in a heinous way - but otherwise this left me cold. 

Final Grade = C-

Death by Smoothie byLaura Levine is the 19th book in the increasingly problematic Jaine Austen cozy series. Much like Stephanie Plum, these books follow a distinct pattern: 1) wacky antics by Jaine's parents who live in a condo community in Florida 2) Jaine's "mean girl" next door neighbor and Neiman Marcus shoe salesman, Lance, will be snide to her 3) Jaine's cat, Prozac, will get up to hijinks that taxes her patience 4) a dating disaster of epic proportions and 5) Jaine's incredibly unhealthy relationship with food and various food related jokes.

This time out Jaine lands a job as a script doctor for a new play based on the cult classic TV show, I Married a Zombie. The producer is a geek obsessed with the TV show and he and his equally geeky girlfriend are calling the shots. It's a dismal script, but it's a well-paying job and as a freelancer Jaine can't be picky. She starts second-guessing her choices though when Misty arrives on the scene and is cast in the lead role despite the fact that she's a terrible actress and more so a terrible person. Everyone (justifiably) hates her guts, but it's still a shock when her like-clockwork 3PM smoothie is poisoned.  Now everyone in the production is a suspect and it's up to Jaine to find the real murderer.

Look, I start each new book in this series knowing exactly what I'm going to get - which is why I picked up this entry when I did (after a particularly gut-wrenching romance read).  I wanted mindless brain candy fluff and that's what this book delivered. Also, Levine has a knack for keeping the mystery humming along, providing plenty of suspects and motives to choose from.  Unfortunately she chose poorly in this entry.  Nearly every secondary character has a reason to want Misty dead and yet the culprit is the one with the least believable motive of all.  Like, any other choice would have been better.  A solid entry that didn't stick the landing.

Final Grade = C

Mini-Review Round-Up: Hurricane Hottie, Mostly Sunny, Weddings and Scrooge

Sometimes I feel like I have a lot to say about the books I read, and other times?  I just can't be arsed.  I've been on stretch of the latter lately, coupled with blogging ennui - which makes for a particularly deadly cocktail.  Plus, I just sort of feel like I've been very meh about everything I'm reading lately, but a girl's gotta prop up the flagging mojo, so it's time for a round of patented Wendy mini-reviews.

The Bridesmaid and the Hurricane by Kelly Maher - First the disclaimer that the author is a friend, we've presented together at conferences, and I beta read 2 (?) early versions of this book.  The hero is one of those impossibly good-looking men that women lose their minds over, but he's genuinely a very nice guy who only has eyes for the heroine.  The problem?  They had a one-night stand months ago and now they're working together.  She's been burned before by an office romance so is not keen to mix business with pleasure again.  Another added complication is that the heroine's boss is an evil piece-of-work.

The conflict of the heroine's Evil (and naturally, female) Boss is one I'm not a big fan of, but Maher chooses a wise course of action by creating a large cast of sympathetic and interesting secondary players living in the hero's and heroine's orbits.  In other words, while there are two women who put aggressive moves on the hero in this story, they're outnumbered by female characters who do not.  Also, it was just so nice to read about a hero who wasn't a massive Alpha jerk with a whole bunch of Mommy Didn't Love Me baggage.  Bonus points for a well-drawn Washington D.C. setting that doesn't rely on political shenanigans (because, Lord - I just can't right now).  Hard for me to grade given my relationship with the author - but taking that out of the equation?  Probably somewhere around a B-.

Mostly Sunny by Jamie Pope ended up being a DNF around the 40% mark.  It starts out great.  Abandoned by her mentally ill mother, Sunny was raised in the New York City foster care system.  She's now a social worker working on the official adoption of a young girl when the birth mother makes contact with the foster family.  She's afraid the mother will throw a wrench in the works, and goes to the hero who is a lawyer.  He doesn't have experience in the type of law she needs, but she won't take no (or excellent referrals) for an answer so...yeah.

The connection between the heroine and the young girl relies on an amazing coincidence that, I'm sorry, I ain't buying when the book is set in NEW YORK CITY!  The heroine propositioning the hero to try and get her way struck me as wildly out of character and the hero is a jerk.  He doesn't believe in love, proposes to his older, savvy businesswomen girlfriend like it's a business proposition, and she turns him down flat.  Naturally this makes the girlfriend "the problem" while the heroine is then painted with a "not like other girls" brush.  Yeah, I didn't like her, the plot strains, and I wanted him to burn in a pit of fire.  Life's too short and my TBR is too mammoth.

Best Man for the Wedding Planner by Donna Alward features my second least favorite bit of conflict after Fated Mates.  The heroine breaks up with her college sweetheart after she gets cancer that renders her infertile - and he's from this Big Family, naturally everyone is always talking about babies, and instead of talking to him she cuts him off so he won't stand by her only to end up resenting her.  They reunite some years later when she's the wedding planner for a wedding where he's the best man.

I have issues with "I can't give him his OWN children" plot lines for various and sundry reasons, but this is how much of a pro Alward is - I inhaled this book in one sitting.  Yes, it features all the crap about this conflict that I hate, but the heroine's Big Secret is out of the bag before the 50% mark, and the emotional fall-out of the second half gutted me in parts.  Also, I liked that the author actually addresses issues that so many authors ignore with conflict like this - namely that you don't need to squeeze a kid out of your birth canal to be maternal, that family is what you make it, and that just because you lack the lady parts doesn't make you less of a woman.  This is Alward's return to Harlequin Romance and it's like she took no time away at all.  It's very much not my thing, but I recognize that there's very good elements at work here.  My personal grade is probably somewhere in the C range - but readers who dig this sort of conflict will likely grade higher.  Also, something to note: there is definitely NO Miracle Baby Epilogue here.  The heroine no longer has a uterus - so, yeah.

Death of a Neighborhood Scrooge by Laura Levine is the 16th book in the Jaine Austen cozy mystery series.  I used to devour these books, but much like Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series, the repetition of the various gags have become stale and I found the last book so offensive that I toyed with the idea of quitting cold turkey.  But, a series you've been invested in for 15 books is not a habit that's easy to break, and I got an ARC for this one so...

This time out Jaine and Lance are Christmas house-sitting in fabulous Bel Air, next door to a sour, cheap-skate former child star who turns up dead.  There's no lack of suspects, but the cops seem to be zeroing in on Jaine.  While the gags have grown stale, Levine returns to form with this book crafting a good mystery with plenty of suspects to choose from.  There's a backhanded slap to the romance genre here (because, of course there is - what the actual hell?!) that annoyed me and the ending is pretty abrupt, but it didn't make me frothing at the mouth angry like the last book, so win?  I guess?  Also, the final chapter is extremely intriguing but my gut tells me Levine will self-destruct the development off page when the next book comes out.  Which, mores the pity.  If she sees it through it may spice up the next entry past the usual, quickly growing tired, gags.  For fans only.  I'm waffling between a C+ and B-.

Mini-Reviews: A Girl Without a Train, Brain Candy and a Historical Western

It's time for another round of mini-reviews!  This go-around Wendy, once again, succumbed to hype, revisited her favorite writer of "brain candy" and tackled a historical western romance written by an author who has published scads of Regencies.

I cannot remember exactly now why I put my name on the wait list for the audiobook version of The Widow by Fiona Barton - especially since the PR for it is heavy on the references to Gone Girl and The Girl on the Train.  Stylistically it reminded me of The Girl on the Train - with multiple narrators and to be honest, it's pretty heavy on "tell over show."  Flashbacks are employed, and the time line jumps anywhere from 2006 to 2010 to years in between.

It's a Bad Things Happen to Kids story.  A toddler girl goes missing.  A woman's husband is accused.  The story is told from the point-of-view of The Widow, The Mother, The Detective, The Reporter and eventually (for one chapter), The Accused Husband.  I wouldn't say this was overly graphic (I've read WAY more graphic) but the crime is pedophilia, and that's an automatic NOPE for a lot of readers.

Did I like this?  Meh.  I'm not going to lie, it's compelling as all get out.  The wait list was such at work that I couldn't renew the title, so I had to burn through the last couple of hours on a Sunday afternoon.  It kept me engaged, but as a suspense story? I kept expecting it to get all twisty (Hello? The PR is selling me on this being the next Gone Girl and The Girl on the Train!), but it never really twists let alone turns.  I guess I would call this "psychological."  You get deeply inside the heads of the characters, namely The Widow.  But suspense barreling down on you like a freight train?  Biting your nails compulsively towards the end?  Yeah, not so much.  I finished it and my immediate reaction was torn between "That's it?" and "Holy heck, parents everywhere should be terrified."  For lack of a better word?  I'd say this was a disquieting read.  You'll also never want to go on the Internet ever again.

Final Grade = I'm torn between a B- and a C+

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Laura Levine is the only cozy mystery author I'm reading these days and her latest Jaine Austen book, the 14th in the series, Murder Had Nine Lives, is set to drop on June 28.  I'll be honest - this series fills the hole left behind when I finally got fed up and quit Stephanie Plum.  Levine definitely has her formula down cold now.  Jaine is a freelance writer, unlucky in love, with wacky parents, and a demanding kitty named Prozac.  There's always a dating disaster.  Her father always gets up to hijinks in his retirement village (this go around it's a Scrabble tournament) much to the horror of her long-suffering, Home Shopping Channel addicted mother.  Prozac destroys hosiery and sweaters while demanding to be fed, BFF Khandi always has a new love of her life and fabulous neighbor Lance takes a swipe at Jaine's personal grooming and dietary choices.

This is all a long-winded way of me saying that this book is more of the same.  It delivers exactly what I've come to expect and it didn't disappoint.  This time out Prozac has been plucked from obscurity (the vet's office) to star in a commercial for a diet cat food. But before you can say "That's a wrap!" - there's a dead body on the set, Jaine is a suspect, and Prozac's dreams of kitty stardom go up in smoke.

Levine is writing the cozy mystery equivalent of a TV sitcom.  They're fast and fun but I don't take them seriously.  I keep reading them because 1) I like them 2) Everyone needs quality Brain Candy now and then and 3) The mysteries tend to be solid.  These are category-length books (around 250 pages) and there's always, at least, half a dozen suspects and motives.  I'm not sure how it will play for newbies, but fans should enjoy this.

Final Grade = B

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Julia Justiss has written a western!  The same Julia Justiss who has written numerous Regency historicals for Harlequin Historical and HQN.  It is exceptionally rare for an author to leave behind the Regency (even temporarily) to write a western, so of course I was going to read Scandal with a Rancher!

You can read a more in depth review over at The Good, The Bad and the Unread - but here are some quick hits:

This is a digital release from small press, Tule Publishing and is a prequel to the contemporary Whiskey River series by Eve Gaddy and Katherine Garbera.  I haven't read any of the contemporaries, so I can attest this historical stands alone well.  It did get a bit heavy on the mental lusting for my tastes, and I felt the heroine was too trusting of the hero (especially early on), but this was a solid read.  It didn't jump out as being OMG AMAZEBALLS! but the author handles the change in setting well, it's a readable story, and I liked it.  Trust me, I've read westerns that made my eyeballs bleed, and this isn't one of those.  If you're a Justiss fan, I think this is worth a look.  If you're in the mood for a western - also worth a look.

Final Grade = B

Mini-Reviews: Jacobites, Hit Men and Tiaras

It's time for another round of Wendy mini-reviews!  Books I've either 1) talked about elsewhere 2) listened to on audio and/or 3) just don't have a lot to say about.

Danger Wears White by Lynne Connolly is a Georgian-set historical and the third book in a series.  I read this for Heroes & Heartbreakers, (disclaimer over there - I know Lynne) and it was a patented "OK" read for me.  It's the story of a heroine whose father gambled away the family fortune on the Jacobite cause (which, as history tells us, was a sucker's bet).  All that's left is the eccentric Tudor home where she lives.  She runs up against the hero when she finds him shot and bleeding to death in a rundown hut on her property.  She pegs him for a Jacobite rebel, but can't very well leave him to die - so she secrets him away in her home.  The hero, naturally, is no Jacobite, but a spy and things get interesting when it turns out the heroine is a pawn caught between the rebels and the English crown.

I loved the Georgian period, history and plot of this story.  It reads and feels like a Georgian, not a Regency pretending to be a Georgian.  Also the plot is full of political intrigue which keeps things humming along.  What I was less enamored with was the romance, which was very InstaLust.  Our couple is bumping uglies within two days and the hero is thinking marriage right after because the sex was so amazing.  Then stuff happens, yada yada yada, and we get the happy ending.  So really good everything other than the romance = a C read for me.  I would read a Connolly book again in a hot minute, even without being in love with this romance - because everything else about this I really liked.

Blood on Snow by Jo Nesbo is a stand-alone novel and I thought "why the heck not?" after I read Keishon's review.  The Scandinavian crime trend is one that has largely passed me by - but this seemed like something to try on audio.  It's also a fairly short novel - clocking in at just over 200 pages.

This was an instance where the audio production elevated the text for me.  It's read by Patti Smith (yes, THAT Patti Smith) and she's got a perfect voice for noir.  That sort of androgynous gravelly-thing going on.  The story itself was OK.  It's about a hit man who runs afoul of his boss when he refuses to kill the man's wife.  I happen to like noir (similar to Gothics for me - I'm in it for the atmosphere), but the complaint I have about this book is a common one I have for noir - the female characters are all so thinly drawn.  Also, I "get" what Nesbo was shooting for here - he blends in fairy tale allusions and dream sequences and.....meh.  I didn't hate it by any stretch of the imagination, but it also didn't bowl me over.  Also, fair warning - it's pretty dark.  I'm generally fine with dark, but not everybody is so....yeah, dark.

But I'm glad I listened to it because 1) I finally tried Nebso 2) I'm not adverse to trying him again and 3) the audio edition is dynamite.  The book itself would probably be a C for me, but with Patti Smith narrating?  Let's go with a B.

Death By Tiara by Laura Levine is the 13th book in a cozy mystery series about Jaine Austen, hapless freelance writer.  It's pretty much the only cozy series I'm still reading these days and I anticipate each new entry.  I read these for the same reason some folks keep reading Janet Evanovich.  Sometimes a girl just needs a completely fluffy brain-candy read.  This time out Jaine is hired to write original song lyrics to a teen pageant contestant.  When one of the pageant organizers is murdered, everyone is a suspect - including Jaine.

Levine is a former sitcom writer so these books tend to be heavy on "antics" anyway, but the slapstick is a bit heavier than usual in this entry.  However there are some nice moments.  For one thing Jaine HAS A BOYFRIEND (!), which is a new wrinkle.  Also, these books tend to be category length (around 250 pages) and Levine has always done a fabulous job of crafting plenty of suspects and red herrings in such a short word count.  I didn't think the mystery was as strong in this entry (I had it pegged), but Levine does the leg-work of giving the reader plenty of options.  As for the boyfriend?  While Jaine continues to be a train-wreck, I love how the author always turns her around in the end.  I never stay worried about Jaine when the book ends.  Our girl knows her own mind, so while her dating disasters are brutal - I never have to worry about Jaine selling herself short in order to "keep a man."  She has gumption, which is always a good thing in my book.

For newbies to the series?  Honestly this is probably a C read.  But if you like this series, and Jaine is an "old friend?"  This book delivers exactly what you'd expect and is exactly why you keep coming back for more.  So probably a B.

Mini-Reviews: Mystery & Suspense Round-Up

I used to be a full-time mystery/suspense reader until I discovered the romance genre in my early twenties and sold my soul to Harlequin.  However, thanks to a new release from the only cozy series I still read, plus my library's upcoming annual literary event (guess who is moderating one of the mystery panels this year?) - means I've spent a good chunk of January tripping over fictional dead bodies.  Here's the rundown:

Follow Her Home by Steph Cha is a debut novel set in Los Angeles and casts a directionless twenty-something Korean American woman, Juniper Song, in the PI role.  One of her best friends is worried that his father is having an affair with a much younger woman who works at his office, and since the last time Daddy had an affair Mommy almost succeeded in killing herself?  He asks Juniper to snoop around.  Naturally, havoc ensues.

This was a pretty solid debut.  I loved that our protagonist was obsessed with Philip Marlowe and still haunted by a tragedy that pertains to her younger sister.  I also thought the author had interesting things to say about the fetishization (is that a word?) of young Asian women.  The suspense thread could have been a little tighter in spots and this is one of those Bad Things Happen To Good Secondary Characters books, so that was kind of a downer.  I've been waffling on my grade, but probably a B-.  The author has another book featuring Juniper slated for an August release and I'm curious to read it.

Yesterday's Echo by Matt Coyle is another debut and one that I highly enjoyed.  Hero was a cop when his wife was found murdered.  He was the prime suspect, but the DA couldn't make it stick - so Rick leaves the force and moves back to his hometown of La Jolla, California to work at a friend's restaurant.  That's where he meets the femme fatale character, a woman who has a bunch of hired goons looking for her.  If you can get past the set-up (given his past I thought Rick's quick and easy trust of the femme fatale strained), this is a great suspense novel.  It twists and turns and kept me guessing all the way up until the end.  Again it's another Bad Things Happen To Good Secondary Characters book, but between the suspense and the great SoCal setting?  I highly recommend it.  Oh, and at the time of this blog post writing?  It's only a $1.99 on Kindle.  My grade is a B+.

Killing Cupid by Laura Levine is the latest in her Jaine Austen (no relation) series about a freelance writer who keeps stumbling over dead bodies.  This go-around Jaine takes a job writing copy for Joy Amoroso, who claims to run an upscale matchmaking service.  Naturally Joy is pure evil, someone kills her, and since their working relationship was not all champagne and roses, the cops start snooping around Jaine.  This means Jaine starts doing her own snooping and uncovers a whole host of suspects.  Levine used to be a sitcom writer and her books read like it in both good, and bad, ways.  The stories move along at a great clip, there's a lot of humor, and she writes very capable mysteries with enough suspects to keep the reader guessing.  On the downside?  Sometimes that humor can be a tad on the broad side - which it was in this book thanks to a scene involving squirrels (yes, squirrels).  Still, it delivered exactly what I wanted, it was amusing, and the mystery was solid.  Levine is also one of the very few cozy writers who hasn't fallen down the Magical Baking Cupcake Knitting Cats hole and for that reason I think all cozy fans need to be reading her books.  A solid B.

Dating Dead Men by Harley Jane Kozak is the first in a four-book series and was, I'm sorry to say, a hot mess for me.  Our heroine, Wollie Shelley, designs greeting cards and runs a Hallmark-like store.  Then her schizophrenic brother calls from the mental hospital claiming to have witnessed a murder.  When she goes to check up on him, she finds a dead body in the middle of the road, and gets "kidnapped" by a man she only knows as "Doc" who has a pet ferret in his coat pocket.  She doesn't call the police and even after "Doc" lets her go - she continues to help him even though he tells her nothing and the mob is somehow involved.  Oh, and did I mention Wollie is going out with 40 guys in 60 days as part of a pop psychologist's "research" project?  I got 120 pages into the book and just couldn't take it anymore.  There was nothing I liked here, and I mean nothing.  I skimmed my way through the rest of the book, skipping chunks of pages along the way.  Humor is one thing, cozy is another, and I'll even read zany - but when the characters don't behave like rational adults?  I'm out.  Hey, I don't read Janet Evanovich anymore either - so there you go.  My grade is a Big Fat DNF.

What I've Been Up To

So I hope everyone enjoyed my guest author feature last week with Jami Davenport.  Now it's time to get back to business as usual here at the Bat Cave and that means.....

Yep, it's back to being all about me.

Hey, at least I embrace my narcissism. 

So what have I been up to?  Gee, what haven't I?

++++++

First things first, I had a post go live over at Heroes & Heartbreakers last week all about my favorite librarian heroines in romance novels.  Why not head on over and take a gander, assuming you haven't already?

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Despite the fact that I have review obligations coming out of my ears, I took a wee breather last week to read new books by two of my favorite mystery/suspense writers.  Just to make me a little bit of extra crazy?  Both of these new books released on the very same day!

I know as a romance reader that in some circles, all of my reading material of choice would be deemed as "fluff" - but romance is the last genre I tend to go to when I want "brain candy."  No, when I want fluff?  I mean, real fluff?  It's cozy mysteries all the way.  Death of a Neighborhood Witch by Laura Levine is the latest in her series featuring freelance writer Jaine Austen (no relation).  This story involves the untimely death of an unpleasant elderly woman who had a brief flirtation with 15 minutes when she stared on a D-grade Munsters knock-off sitcom.  When she ends up dead, Jaine ends up the prime suspect, seeing as how it was her cat, Prozac, who killed the old lady's decrepit pet bird.

I was disappointed in the last book in the series, and this one was a nice recovery read.  The mystery was solid, and Levine keeps the sitcom-like antics flying.  My only real complaint?  When exactly did Jaine's neighbor - fabulous gay Neiman Marcus shoe salesmen, Lance, morph into such an asshole?  I used to love his character and the last two books?  Yeah, asshole.  Still a solid B for me.

After that it was Last To Die by Tess Gerritsen, the latest in her Rizzoli/Isles series.  I gave up on the TNT TV series based on the books after one year, largely because Hollywood morphed Dr. Isles into a pod person - but I'm still going way strong with the books.  The suspense here involves three young teenagers whose parents were killed in suspicious looking "accidents."  Two years later?  The foster families where all three kids were placed are also killed.  Meaning all three of these children have cheated death, twice.  It's up to Boston homicide detective, Jane Rizzoli, and Boston medical examiner, Maura Isles, to find the connection - assuming there is one.

What I tend to really like about Gerritsen's suspense are her characters.  She writes really interesting characters, in large part, I think, due to her past as a romance writer.  You can fudge a lot with plot and tension in the suspense genre to overcompensate for ho-hum characters.  In romance?  Yeah, good luck with that.  The Rizzoli family "stuff" is fantastic here, and Gerritsen pushes Isles into an introspective corner after her ill-fated love affair with a priest (yes, a priest!) flames out.  I also thought she did a lovely job with the kids in this book, all misfits that don't quite fit in - even at the boarding school where they end up that seems to cater to tragic misfits.  The suspense?  Was OK.  Not terrible, but also not Gerritsen's best.  It didn't light my world on fire, but it's a good entry to the series, so there's not a lot to complain about.  A very solid B for me.

+++++

My idiot Detroit Tigers were in town over the weekend to play the Anaheim Angels, so Saturday night Lil' Sis and I hit the ballpark (sans Lemon Drop).  We got seats in the club section - which means we had a waitress who took our concession stand orders and brought us our food.  Good thing too, since the game required a lot of junk food and beer thanks to Angels rookie phenom, Mike Trout, Justin Verlander getting lit up like a pinball machine, my idiot third basemen Miguel Cabrera arguing balls and strikes with the umpire and naturally, getting tossed - and oh yeah, we lost 6-1.  Let us relive the day through a series of pictures Lil' Sis snapped....

Justin Verlander warming up.  I swear they paint those pants on him.

Timing is everything.  Miguel Cabrera and our rookie, Avisail Garcia - scratching himself.  Niiiiice.

I believe the Tigers were down 5-0 at this point, when this advertisement came on in the stadium.  Don't mind if we do!

+++++

I've still got a mountain of reading to get done, the September TBR Challenge is right around the corner, there will be more RWA tote bag giveaways and oh yeah - I owe the Lemon Drop fan club a post.

Stay tuned!

Botox, Martinis And Murder

I've never been afraid to admit that I adore reading fluff, and contrary to popular opinion, the romance genre isn't churning out an endless parade of it. I can't subsist on an endless diet of it, but when I do crave a little mindless fun, I tend to look for cozy mysteries with a dash of chick lit sass thrown in on the side. Heck, Janet Evanovich receives very nice royalty checks based on this formula. People need a nice, mindless diversion every now and then. A girl cannot live on angst alone. Which is why I'm head over heels in love with Laura Levine's Jaine Austen cozy mystery series. It's all about the fluff.

Death Of A Trophy Wife, the 9th book in the series, once again finds freelance writer Jaine fretting over her checkbook, which is on life support. She needs a job, and fast. It's while dining out with her fabulous neighbor, Lance, that they run into one of his best customers from the Neiman Marcus shoe department, Bunny Cooper. Bunny is the trophy wife of "Marvelous" Marvin Cooper, mattress king of Los Angeles. She invites Jaine and Lance over to their house for an impromptu pool party and suggests Jaine can pitch her ad slogan ideas to Marvin. Oh happy day!

However, it all goes south rather quickly. Bunny is a vile human being who treats everyone around her like dirt. Hired help, family, friends - Bunny is an equal opportunity bitch. So it's not exactly a shock when the woman ends up dead. However, what is a surprise is that the cops have zeroed in on Lance as their prime suspect. When it comes to Jaine's diet and wardrobe, Lance does get that murderous gleam in his eye, but killing off one of his best customers? Not likely.

Levine's books follow a fairly strict formula. They're written in a very chatty style, that does tend to employ "tell" over "show." Jaine's bank account is always near death, her love life continues to be dead on arrival, there are the wacky e-mails she gets from her parents, and enough murder suspects to populate a story twice their size (these books tend to clock in around 250 pages...max). There's, once again, a long list of potential bad guys here. There's the Bitter First Wife, the weaselly son-in-law, the mousy step-daughter, the professional stylist, the clumsy maid that Bunny enjoyed brow-beating, not to mention Marvelous Marvin himself.

Readers looking for a spine-tingling mystery with a lot of cloak-and-dagger sleuthing aren't going to find it here. Jaine's idea of sleuthing is talking to people, and the occasional eavesdropping on conversations. She's also a walking disaster area, the sort of person that tends to attract loonies and wacky hijinks where ever she goes. In this entry, it's a would-be suitor, Vladimir, from Uzbekistan, who wants to sweep Jaine off her feet, and back to the his home country, where they'll have their wedding, with his pet goat, Svetlana, serving as maid of honor.

No, I'm not making this up.

Yes, it's all very silly - but it's silly all in the name of good fun. I've stuck with this series from the beginning for a lot of the same reasons people stick with Janet Evanovich. They're fun, they're light, and I can count on the fact that I'll be amused. However, unlike Evanovich, I think Levine does a way better job with her mystery plots. Namely, in the suspect department. I have yet to "solve" any of her mysteries before the final curtain because the author does such a good job of offering me up a multitude of viable suspects with solid motives. Even in the case of this story, when I thought I had it figured out? Yeah. I didn't.

In the end though, it's voice. I like Jaine. Much to the horror of Lance, she likes her elastic waist-band pants and her Cuckoo For Cocoa Puffs t-shirt. She eats so much junk food that, if this were the real world, she'd weigh at least 639 pounds. She's still the slave in residence to her chow-hound kitty, Prozac. Her parents are downright certifiable, and she's destined to never find a "normal" guy. But God bless the girl, I love her to bits, because she says the things that all of us, at one time or another, have at least thought.

Kandi was waiting for me in the lobby of the cineplex with two tickets to one of those romantic comedies she's so fond of. You know the kind, where the size 0 heroine who in real life could have her pick of any guy in the world sits home alone Saturday nights in impossibly adorable pajamas, eating ice cream straight from the carton and never gains an ounce. Then she meets Mr. Cutie Pie, and after a few funny misunderstandings the two of them wind up in a liplock with Nat King Cole crooning in the background.

Another book in the series that didn't change my life, but dang, I had a great time reading it. And at the end of the day, that's all I really care about.

Grade = B

Laydown date for this book is April 27, 2010.

Mysteriously Anticipating

One of these days the Romance Fangirl Police are going to show up on my doorstep to rip up my membership card. Never mind that my TBR can be seen from space and the vast majority of it is chock-full of romance novels - I tend to fall short in the anticipation department. Most romance readers will count down the days, hours, minutes when they'll get their hands on a favorite author's latest release. Me? Yeah, I just don't do this with the romance genre.

Now if Maggie Osborne were to come out of retirement? Or if Pamela Morsi decided to return to her historical Americana roots? Then all bets are off. But as of right now - I tend to only highly anticipate a select few mystery/suspense releases. I suspect because I've been reading that genre a helluva lot longer (20+ years) and I'm a Nostalgia Ho.

Anyway, I though to check on Laura Levine today. For the last several years, a new book in her Jaine Austen (no relation) cozy mystery series hits the shelves around April, and sure enough - Death Of A Trophy Wife, book nine, is due out on April 27, 2010.

Fangirl Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Description (from Kensington web site):

Freelance writer Jaine Austen is moving on up! A cushy new advertising gig promises champagne wishes and caviar dreams, but Jaine soon discovers she’s not the only one in town who’s making a killing…

Without a job or a date in sight, Jaine is equally out of luck in finance and romance. So when her friend Lance offers to treat her to brunch at the Four Seasons, Jaine leaps at the chance like a fashionista at a pair of half-price Louboutins. They’ve barely made it through the menu when Lance spots his friend Bunny. Dressed like a million bucks—and probably worth twice that—Bunny is the new trophy wife of mattress maven Marvin Cooper.

When Bunny generously offers Jaine a gig writing Marv’s new advertising campaign, Jaine accepts the job, and an invitation to her upcoming soirée. But at the party Bunny cruelly rules the Cooper mansion with a fist full of martinis, abusing terrified staff and her browbeaten husband alike. It seems like this society girl could use a good kick in the assets. Indeed, before the evening is over, someone poisons the D-cup diva. Dead must be the new black.

The police arrest Lance, but Jaine knows his murderous urges end at her closet door. She sets out to clear his name and discovers a list of suspects longer than Bunny’s credit card bill. Did Mattress Marv get tired of his little bunny hopping into another man’s bed, or did a jealous boy-toy fix her a fatal cocktail? Marv’s ex-wife Ellen has plenty of motives for murder, as does Bunny’s harassed maid Lupe. Or was it Bunny’s seething stepdaughter who sent her to that Great Shopping Mall in the Sky?

Jaine is running out of time. Jobless, Lance is losing his mind and taking it out on Jaine’s apartment, wardrobe, and indignant cat Prozac. And before Jaine can say 9021Oh-no someone else is murdered. Between a house guest that won’t leave, a suitor-turned-stalker, and killer on the loose, Jaine’s jackpot may turn out to be fool’s gold.

It kills me that Levine doesn't have a web site. I mean, it just keeeeeels me! Also, no kitty Prozac (yes, Jaine's pet cat is named Prozac) on the rather blah cover art. What's up with that? But....Levine is doing my library's literary event in April. Squeeeeee!

And because I know someone will ask the order of the books in this series:

This Pen For Hire
Last Writes
Killer Blonde
Shoes to Die For
The PMS Murder
Death By Pantyhose
Killing Bridezilla
Killer Cruise

Now I sit on my hands and wait for April 27 :::tap, tap, tap, glancing at calender, sigh::::

If They Could See Me Now

Picture it. Another wild Friday night at the Bat Cave. I'm lying in bed, with a copy of Killer Cruise by Laura Levine on my night stand. Entering, stage left, My Man.

My Man: Why is Garfield on your book?

Me: That's not Garfield, that's Prozac.

My Man: ::gives girlfriend funny look, starts laughing:: Not a romance novel, eh?

I've been trying to kick-start my flagging reading mojo, and I figured spending the weekend with the latest Jaine Austen (no relation) mystery from Levine was the perfect way to do it. The best way to describe this series, of which this is book eight? They're like a sitcom in book format. A really good, very funny sitcom. Poor Jaine is unlucky in love, always flat broke, has two borderline insane parents and a pet cat, Prozac, who runs her life.

Killer Cruise finds Jaine taking a job on a cruise ship, as one of their lecturers. She teaches a writing class, and in exchange she gets to spend a week cruising around Mexico. Soaking up the sun. Relaxing. Working on crossword puzzles. Diving into the 24-hour all-you-can-eat buffet. However the whole thing gets off to a bad start when she discovers a stowaway. Yep, her kitty Prozac was not willing to be left at home. So Jaine has no choice but to smuggle him on-board, and hope that no one spots the little guy. Or else it's a week in quarantine. Kitty prison.

As often happens to Jaine, it all heads south. One of the ship's stewards spots Prozac and blackmails Jaine into editing his 900-page, grammatically incorrect, and massively misspelled opus about a ship steward turned secret agent. Her writing class isn't much of a hit, with few students, one of whom keeps comparing Jaine (and not favorably) to Mary Higgins Clark. Then there is the fact that her nightly dinner companions have all the charm of the Manson family.

The Pritchard clan includes Aunt Emily, a spinster with oodles of money and a penchant for cruises; her "companion," the sour-faced Ms. Nesbitt; her money-grubbing nephew, Kyle, along with his dowdy wife, Maggie; and lastly, another nephew, Robbie, a drop-dead gorgeous hunk who seems interested in Jaine....romantically! Will wonders never cease?

Unfortunately it all goes to hell when Graham Palmer III sets his sights on Emily. He's a cruise employee whose job it is to dance with the single ladies. He starts dancing with Emily, and the next thing you know, the two are engaged! A bit of a shock to everyone, including Graham's girlfriend, Cookie, who is suspect numero uno when Graham is found dead with an ice pick rammed in his chest. Cookie may have been mighty pissed off, but Jaine has a hard time believing the woman capable of murder. And so the snooping begins!

Several things I like about this series is that Levine keeps the action light and fun, while still providing a good mystery. Eliminating Cookie, the author gives us six viable suspects in the murder. Some of them have more motive than others, but they all have some motive. It gives the author a lot of wiggle room, and keeps the reader guessing. I can also usually count on one genuinely funny moment, and it comes here when Jaine goes snooping and finds herself temporarily hiding out in a closet. I literally laughed out loud, making unlady-like snorting noises - which prompted My Man to say, "Something funny?" Um, yeah, actually. Now that you mention it...

The author wraps up everything, from the murder to Jaine's editing the manuscript from Hell, to the fact that her parents are staying in her apartment for the week (Oy!). As I've come to expect, this latest entry in one of my favorite series was a lot of fun, and I particularly liked the resolution of the mystery (OK, so it strains a bit - but still, I found it inspired). And now I'm back at the same spot I find myself in every June. Waiting for next year, and the next Jaine Austen mystery, in order to get my fix. Bugger.

Final Grade = B