Stephanie Plum, Ho Bag

Genre fiction (any genre, pick a genre), is unique from most other types of fiction because, by it's nature, readers are deeply invested.  The book doesn't even have to be part of a series for this to happen.  As genre readers, there are just certain conventions that readers hold dear.  That we hold up as truth.  When a genre author is doing their job well, the characters should leap off the page and feel "real" - even when we know as competent adults that they aren't.  They're "characters."  It's this feeling of "real" that keeps readers coming back for more.  Says me.

So what happens when a character in a genre book goes off the rails?  Well, it depends.  What one reader is willing to forgive in a character can, and sometimes does, vastly differ from what the reader standing next to them will. 

Which brings me to Smokin' Seventeen by Janet Evanovich, the 17th (well duh) entry in the Stephanie Plum, inept Jersey bounty hunter series.  When I first joined online Romancelandia way back a trillion years ago, a new Stephanie Plum book was anticipated, dissected, and ravenously devoured.  Think about the hysteria over the early J.R. Ward novels and you'll have a decent comparison.  But as the series has droned on, and as the author has essentially given readers the same book over and over and over and over and over and.....ahem - again.  Well, a lot of people have moved on.  I, however, have not.  Oh don't get me wrong.  I'm not what you would consider a rabid squee'ing The Author Can Do No Wrong fangirl.  No, I just keep listening because I haven't gotten pissed off enough yet to quit.

I think, that's the key.  I listen.  I have never, ever read one of these in print format.  It's been audiobook all the way since #1.  If I were a reader?  Yeah, I probably would have thrown in the towel already, because my reading time is valuable.  My listening time?  Not so much.  I mean, I'm trapped in my dang car during my commute anyway.  Stephanie Plum or inane DJ chatter?  Hmmm, what to choose, what to choose.....

So what were my thoughts on #17.  Well?  Stephanie has turned into a slut.  Now, I know - she's been bouncing between two men for ages, and she's just now a slut?  Hear my out....

I've always felt that Stephanie should be with neither man in her life.  She shouldn't choose either of them.  Joe wants to change her and Ranger would never be a true partner.  If a man wants to change you?  Yeah, no thanks.  And if a man is always going to hold some of himself back from you?  Yeah, no thanks.  But, since those are our choices, I will say that Morelli has mellowed in recent books.  He's not quite as authoritative.  I see him and Stephanie as "in a relationship" - even if they won't put a name to it.  Hell, in this book - he even says he "loves" her.  Now, this is Evanovich so it's not a mushy declaration - but Morelli says the word "love" in Stephanie's general direction.  Which in my mind means - the guy cares about her.  He's not just in it for the sex.

The problem comes in when Stephanie has smokin' hot sex with Ranger in this book.  I can't entirely blame the girl - but now that it feels like Morelli and her are a "couple?"  And Joe says the L word in the course of the book?  Yeah.  Skank Alert At 12 o' Clock.  Look, I'm all for keeping your options open, but what is good for the gander needs to be just as good for the goose.  Stephanie gets jealous when other chicks come sniffing around Joe.  He cares about her, and she knows it.  And she still bangs Ranger.

Ho Bag.

Yeah, I just said that. 

I know that may sound strange from someone who reads some pretty skanky erotica, but the minute there are "feelings" involved and someone could get their wee lil' heart stomped on?  Yeah.

Ho Bag.

However, this wasn't actually the entire issue for me.  If Stephanie wants to be a skank, she should at least own it.  Which she doesn't.  She blames her bangin' Ranger on the fact that Morelli's creepy grandma Bella put a spell on her.  A horny spell.

Seriously, shoot me. 

So yeah, not only is Stephanie now a ho bag, but she's a ho bag who won't even own her own skankiness.

There's also a thin mystery angle here, which is actually thinner than usual.  I know, it's hard to believe that's possible - but it is.  Now, I know nobody actually reads these books for the mysteries - but this one was obvious and telegraphed early on, and no amount of the author throwing around a half-baked, runny-egg red herring was enough to make me overlook it.

Seriously. Thin.  Epically, colossally thin.  Kate Moss isn't this thin.

Which sounds like I'm ready to break-up with this series doesn't it?  You'd think that, but no.  Again, listening not reading.  And honestly, even with Stephanie being an inept, won't own her skankiness, ho-bag - I'm not angry enough yet to call it quits.  To quit on a series, I really need to be angry.  Hulk-mad, Hulk-smash, feeling like I'm being taken advantage of, angry.  And since I've always firmly believed that the author will never resolve the love triangle, that the author will continue to give me the same book over and over and over and over....sorry....again?  Yeah,  I know what I'm getting.  And I'm not angry.  Yet.

But I can see and understand why some other readers are.

Discussion time: When do you call it quits on a series?  What tends to be the final breaking point for you?  The straw that broke your reading back?

How Far Is Too Far?

I listen to the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich on audiobook. I've always listened to this series on audio, having never "read" a single one of them. Ever. Now, I know myself well enough to know that if I did "read" these books, I would have chucked this series to the curb ages ago. The monotony would have gotten to me by now, especially since I can't remember the last time the author gave readers a credible villain and halfway decent mystery. But as far as listening to them? I like them. They're undemanding brain candy.

That being said, I just got around listening to Finger Lickin' Fifteen and have to say it....

Meh.

Way too much Lula. Dear God, way, way, way too much Lula. Between the author regaling me with Lula's farts (Seriously? Fart jokes?!), and constant harrumphing (is it just me or does this character talk in grunts entirely too much?), I was past full-up. Oh, and for the record? Exploding diarrhea caused by bad barbecue? Not funny. I'm not even sure it's funny to 13-year-old boys.

All of which got me thinking on the subject of fluffy reads and just how far I can be pushed into "wacky territory" before my suspension of disbelief snaps. Now, obviously, I'm a big fan of fluff. I mean, I just enjoyed a mystery that featured a heroine thwarting the advances of a would-be Romeo from Uzbekistan. So I'm not incapable of shutting off my internal monologue when it comes to Funny Ha Ha books. So while Uzbekistan suitor is OK, a celebrity chef getting decapitated in broad daylight, in the middle of a street, in Stephanie Plum's Trenton, New Jersey was too much for me to roll with.

Yeah. Decapitated. In the middle of the day, in the middle a street. Also, I found it unsettling that a celebrity chef gets his head chopped off in Trenton and the media isn't crawling all over the city like a cockroach on a week-old Tasty Kake left out in the sun. And exactly how much sense does it make that Ranger asks for Stephanie's help in tracking down the guy sabotaging his business? I mean, hello?! Ranger is Batman. Stephanie is...well...totally inept.

On the bright side, I got my yummy Ranger fix.

So gentle readers, how wacky is too wacky? What has been known to push you over the edge and snap your suspension of disbelief in half? And for that matter, does anyone out there actually like the character of Lula? Seriously? Inquiring minds want to know.