Review: How to Wed a Courtesan

When it comes to romance my top two pet peeves are 1) Fated Mates and 2) Cop-Out Endings. Fated Mates is pretty self-explanatory (free will is sexy, I'll die on that hill). Cop-Out Endings as I define them are endings when the conflict, the same conflict that the couple has been fighting tooth-and-nail to overcome to get to the hard-fought happy ending is hand-waved away, washing away all the angsty-goodness that came before.

Lord above, I hate a Cop-Out Ending and the last two chapters of How To Wed a Courtesan by Madeline Martin irritated me no end. 

The timeline of the story hops around a bit, but for all intents and purposes, the story begins in 1809 when Charlotte "Lottie" Rossington makes the acquaintance of Evander, Baron Murray at a ball in Bedfordshire. How did Lottie, the daughter of a poor country vicar, score an invite? Because she's friends with Charles, Duke of Somerville (see first book in series), whose country manor is in tiny Binsey where Lottie and her father live. They were childhood playmates and have remained friends.  Evander and Charles are friends, and when Evander is introduced to Lottie he's immediately smitten.

What follows is a courtship and a proposal, never mind Lottie's father opposes Evander even courting his daughter. Gretna Green is in their future, until just as they begin to make plans, Evander's father dies and he's now the Earl of Westix. Even more troublesome? Dear Old Dad left the coffers bare. Evander can't very well wed Lottie as a pauper, so he sets plans in motion to head overseas to make money. He promises Lottie he'll only be gone 6 months to 1 year. She begs him not to leave. 

Four years later....

Evander returns to London filthy stinking rich and Lottie, the poor vicar's daughter, became a courtesan. She didn't have much of a choice. Her father died shortly after Evander took off and nobody was going to hire her as a governess without references. That led to work in an opera house, which then led to being a courtesan. She has since gotten out of that life thanks, in part, to Evander's mother of all people. Lottie now schools young ladies in the art of seduction and snagging a man - although in reality it's more like lessons in confidence and self-worth with some matchmaking thrown in on the side. 

Evander is still besotted and determined to wed Lottie. Lottie is, quite frankly, pissed. Four years and no letters. In reality Evander, gem that he is, wrote her TWO LETTERS (LIKE WTF DUDE?!) that never got to her because, see dead father, becoming a courtesan yada yada yada. But, fool that she is, she still loves him. What's standing in their way? Her unresolved rage at him (there's a lot of backstory related to her becoming a courtesan) and the fact that her reputation is in tatters. A courtesan does not wed an Earl. It just is not done. 

What follows is Evander persistence in love-bombing Lottie (weekly hot house flowers, among other things) and Lottie opening up to him about what her life truly became while he was off making a fortune that she never truly wanted or asked for in the first place. We've got her grief and his pride, and there are more than a few scenes in this book that damn near ripped my guts out.

So where does it all go wrong? Lottie's reputation. Look, here's the thing - these two have a legit, true blue circle of friends. Certainly there will be corners of upper crust society that will always snub Lottie and look down their nose at her, but ultimately these two are not friendless. Their family members aren't friendless. So who gives a flying fig if some small minded folks snub you? These two would never truly be cast out into the wilderness.  And yet? That's not enough apparently because soon a Big Secret comes to light that makes it all right as rain. Was it sort of fun to see snobs get their commuppance? I mean, a little I guess. But it's so unnecessary and sweeps all the conflict and challenges that preceded the revelation completely aside. I mean, why did I read this book and struggle along with these fictional characters if you're just going to hand wave it away in the end? Ugh.

I think most romance readers can read between the lines here because these sorts of Cop-Out Endings are fairly common in historical romance. It is why, to this day, when readers rejoice in their love for The Proposition by Judith Ivory my lip immediately curls (no amount of beautiful writing makes up for that travesty of an ending, says me)

A book that was easily going to land in my B range (OMG, so much angsty goodness!) immediately ran right off the cliff like a horde of lemmings with that ending. What a disappointment.

Final Grace = C-