The Particulars: Contemporary romance, Harlequin Presents #4139, Book 2 in connected duet, out of print, available digitally (at the time of this blog post this was also available via Kindle Unlimited)
Why Was It In Wendy's TBR?: Crews is quickly becoming an autobuy for me in Presents, not because all her books work for me in that line, but because she leans in on the Cuckoo Bananapants that can make Presents compulsively readable. This was a library book sale purchase that I just added to the TBR back in April and THE HEROINE IS A LIBRARIAN! Also, look closely at the cover, the heroine in the clinch is wearing glasses which is HOW WE KNOW SHE'S A LIBRARIAN!
The Review: This month's TBR Challenge theme is Drama! and being in a reading slump it was a forgone conclusion that I was going to pick up a Presents (seriously, are you new here?). As fate would have it, this book foretold me liberating it from my Harlequin TBR Cupboard:
But Geraldine had decided that the situation called for a little bit of drama. Surely the man deserved it after what he’d done.
Seriously, amen Geraldine the Librarian. A-frickin-men.
The book opens with our perfectly sensible Midwestern librarian heroine, Geraldine Gertrude Casey, crashing the small Lake Como wedding of Spanish billionaire, Lionel Asensio. Why would she do such a thing? Well when she heard he was getting married, in what was sure to be an opulent lavish Italian wedding, she snapped. Geraldine is raising her beloved cousin's daughter, Jules, and said cousin, on her deathbed, said Lionel was the Baby Daddy. He may have treated her poor cousin shabbily, but Geraldine is determined that Lionel do right by his daughter.
However, a funny thing happens as the bride walks down the aisle....a man shows up to spirit her away (see Book 1) and between the absurdity and the jet-lag Geraldine starts laughing. Uncontrollably. Drawing the attention of the jilted groom who for some reason is now standing in front of Geraldine and not chasing after his kidnapped bride. What the deuce?
Next thing she knows, bingo-bango - Geraldine is being hustled down the aisle and in a daze finds herself married to Lionel. Because apparently our groom needs a bride, doesn't really matter who the "lucky lady" is. Why? To please his beloved grandmother on her birthday. Or something. Look, does any of this make any kind of logical sense? No. But it's a Presents so just roll with it y'all.
What follows is the charade of a sham marriage to please his grandmother, Lionel's Presents Hero Baggage (Mommy didn't love him, Dad and Granddad were notorious playboys, lather rinse repeat), and Geraldine agreeing to the whole farce to secure a paternity test and support for Jules. Of course these two crazy kids end up catching feelings and the best laid plans all go to hell.
There's a fine line between Presents Logic and Completely Preposterous, and unfortunately this plot crosses that line. I love me some Cuckoo Bananapants as much as the next Presents fan, but this one was a bridge too far for even me. How does Geraldine find out about the wedding and yet Lionel's grandmother has no clue? And Geraldine waltzes right on in and there's barely any security and no paparazzi around? For a billionaire's wedding?! And the bride-to-be is an heiress in her own right?! Sure Jan. And look, I don't know anything about getting married in Italy but surely they have to sign some kind of marriage license there? I'm not convinced Geraldine simply saying "yes" in front a priest is enough to find her suddenly married to a complete stranger.
But, whatever. It's a Presents Wendy. Don't overthink the Cuckoo Bananapants.
The first half is a bit of slog with not enough dialogue between our couple to convince me they're catching feelings. However things perk up after grandmother's birthday party when our couple, at Granny's behest, take somewhat of a staycation honeymoon. That's when conversations are had, they spend time with wee Jules, and the sexy times come into play (which, boy howdy). Also the story of Geraldine's cousin's downfall and death is particularly heart-wrenching - a gorgeous girl who became a model and ended up eaten by the sharks. (Spoiler: turns out Lionel is NOT the Baby Daddy)
Is this book marginally insane? Yes. Is it completely devoid of any hint of logic? Also yes. But I read it in a couple hours in a stunned, wide-eyed way that only Presents and Bodice Rippers seem to illicit from me.
Oh, and somehow I made it to the end of this review without mentioning that our librarian heroine is a virgin. But of course she is. She's a Presents heroine. You probably didn't need me to disclose that.
Final Grade = C+
2 comments:
Of course she wears glasses, of course she's a virgin, of course he's not the baby's daddy.
But I don't think I could have kept reading after the "just drag her before the priest, it will be a valid marriage (presumably "because Italy" or some other bullshit)" --because I've lived in several countries, and the red tape for every fucking little thing, when you are not from there? Endless and exhausting.
(Then again, at least you finished yours, I ::scuffs feet:: didn't, so my review will be late this month)
I love this post! It has been a while since I read a Harlequin Presents and frankly, this has reminded me why I love the cray-cray categories so much!
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