Review: A Baby to Bind His Bride

I'm at the stage in my life where I'm past the point of apologizing for what I like to read. I'm a grown-up. I understand that I like some problematic stuff. I recognize it's problematic and move on.  Such is the case with Presents.  Presents tend to trigger the "pure fantasy" part of my brain. I don't read them as being "real world." They operate in a fantasy, fairy tale world (at least for me - I can't speak for other readers of the line).  But, to be honest, Presents is a minefield kind of line. There are some that are really awesome and some that are regressive to the point where I feel dirty afterward...and not in a good way.  A Baby to Bind His Bride by Caitlin Crews is a rarer bird though. This is a book that wants you to think it's progressive...but, it's really not.

Susannah married billionaire Leonidas Betancur when she was a sheltered and naive 19-year-old.  Theirs was a marriage arranged by their families. Leonidas, being a jackass Presents hero, hops on his private jet, ON HIS WEDDING NIGHT, to broker a business deal, leaving his wife behind.  OF COURSE before the consummation of the marriage because, sheltered and naive 19-year-old = virgin bride.  Anyway, his plane goes down in the Rocky Mountains in a fiery crash, and while his body is never recovered, it's presumed he's dead.

Fast forward five years and Susannah has morphed herself into "the Widow Betancur."  Leonidas' family is a nest of vipers, and in name of protection, she reinvented herself into the consummate widow.  She lives in black. She evokes the memory of her dear departed husband, never mind she was married to him for less than 24 hours.  She's no man's pawn and since Leonidas' "died" she's been running the family dynasty.  But she's tired and desperate for freedom.  And to be free she needs to finally get answers - because she's not convinced Leonidas is dead.  That's how our story opens.  She finds her husband living in a religious compound in the mountains of Idaho with a host of acolytes who think he's a god.  If that isn't the perfect metaphor for every Presents hero EVER, I'm not sure what is.  Anyway, Leonidas has amnesia (because OF COURSE) but once he sees Susannah, and hastily divests her of her virginity (because OF COURSE), the light dawns and most of his memory comes back.  But what will happen when he finds out his wife only found him in order to divorce him?

This is a Presents, so yeah, the plot is preposterous.  But that's kind of their thing.  Why Susannah felt like only a divorce would "free her" is never explained to my satisfaction but I loved this idea of a girl who everyone gives zero credit morphing herself into this ball-busting widow.  Unfortunately, we never really see that in action.  Oh sure, the author tells us about how she thwarted Leonidas' very randy cousins and kept his Evil Mother at bay - but Leonidas is in the picture from Chapter 1 which means he's the one protecting her throughout this story.  No seeing Susannah busting heads in the boardroom.  No seeing Susannah stand up to her parents at a society function.  No seeing Susannah have a darn backbone.  No, instead what readers get is Leonidas' kidnapping Susannah once he finds out she's pregnant because there's no way in Hell he's going to give her a divorce now.

"The marriage, the Betancur name, all of that is noise. The only prison you need worry about is me, Susannah. And I will hold you forever."

Yeah, no.  Then, to add insult to injury, eventually Leonidas lets Susannah leave the isolated Greek island, she jets off to Australia but comes back to give some big ol' speech about how she's always loved him (why, exactly?!) and he does next to nil in the groveling department.  But hey, it's OK because at the end of the story the author tells the reader that they're now running the empire together (oh, I'm supposed to think that's progressive!) but Susannah, naturally, squirts out a baby boy.

BECAUSE OF COURSE SHE DOES!!!!

Look - have I liked problematic as f*ck Presents in my day?  Yes. Yes, I have.  But don't spin me a story that has the window dressing of "progressive" and "feminist" and then fall back on regressive Presents stereotypes.

You know, I finished this book a few days ago.  And back then I slapped it with a middling C grade.  The author knows her way around the format and line, plus it's a well executed story from a craft standpoint.  But the longer I spent away from this book the more annoyed I got.  Look, does romance have a problem with reinforcing traditional gender roles?  Yes, of course it does.  But don't wrap a story in the trappings of progressive and "different" and then...revert back to this nonsense.  Just stick with the nonsense right out of the gate.  I actually prefer that.

Final Grade = D+