Cat And Mouse

My Man is a movie junkie, so it goes without saying that IMDB.com is one of our go-to web sites. Last night we were looking ahead at movies coming out this summer, and I noticed there is now a full-length trailer for Public Enemies. My Man is jonesin' for the new Terminator flick, and pretty much every woman I know can't wait to see Hugh Jackman half-nekkid in Wolverine. Me? I can't wait to see Johnny Depp as John Dillinger, Christian Bale as Melvin Purvis, and the added bonus of Billy Crudup as J. Edgar Hoover. The only thing about this movie that gives me pause is that it's directed by Michael Mann, who I personally find a little uneven as a director. He's done masterpieces (see: Heat), turned what should be good movies into ho-hum movies (see: Ali) and done outright, mind-numbing dreck (see: Miami Vice, TV show or movie - take your pick).

But it has Jonny Depp and Christian Bale - so I'm thinking it's not going to suck. Also, given the current state of the world economy, I'm thinking a movie about a Depression-era bank robber who captivated the public might be just the ticket. Release date is July 1.

All About My Man

I haven't blogged in a couple of days, and my brain is toast. So I'm stealing this from Rosie, who was just as unoriginal and stole it from Holly. At least I'm in good company. Let's see how much I really know about My Man:

1. He’s sitting in front of the TV. What is on the screen?

A toss up between a movie, Dirty Jobs or Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives.

2. You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?

Ranch.

3. What’s one food he doesn’t like?

Peas. He refuses to eat peas. Which sucks, because they're my favorite veggie.

4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What does he order?

He rarely drinks alcohol anymore, but if he does, it's generally a beer. A dark beer - and not American thankyouverymuch. He tends to favor Irish and German brews. Non-alcoholic? Generally just water. I know, how boring can you get?

5. Where did he go to high school?

Upstate New York.

6. What size shoe does he wear?

13. Hello Big Foot!

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! We often joke that if he didn't live with me that he would be able to fit all of his worldly possessions in his car. He's very much a minimalist. Maybe DVDs. And that's a big maybe.

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?

Cheese. Yes, plain cheese sandwiches. I think it's a comfort food thing.

9. What would this person eat every day if he could?

New York-style pizza. Or maybe Chinese food.

10. What is his favorite cereal?

Corn Pops. We rarely buy them though since he lacks impulse control. Seriously, he'd eat a whole box of Corn Pops in a day if he could get away with it.

11. What would he never wear?

Pastel colors, specifically pink.

12. What is his favorite sports team?

Sit back, this could take a while. Baseball = Toronto Blue Jays. Football = Buffalo Bills. College Football = Notre Dame. College Basketball = Syracuse Orange. He tends to follow players in the NBA, moreso than teams. And when he's paying attention to hockey, it's the Detroit Red Wings.

13. Who did he vote for?

He's one of the very few independent voters I know. He will vote for either party, and has! Let's just say he was extremely unthrilled with one of the vice presidential candidates and leave it at that.

14. Who is his best friend?

Me. But if we're talking male bonding? One of his college roommates - The Tater.

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do?

There are several, but here's just one. My OCD Dance. Before I leave for work in the morning, I have to double (and in same cases triple) check to make sure that 1) my curling iron is unplugged and 2) the stove is turned off. Yes, I know - I need help.

16. What is his heritage?

Irish and Austrian. Pretty much half and half.

17. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake?

Angel food. Plain angel food. I know. It's not normal.

18. Did he play sports in high school?

Baseball. He was a pitcher.

19. What could he spend hours doing?

Watching movies. He loves to watch movies.

Coming in second place - he's an NFL draft junkie. Any of you ladies got one of these at home? He will scour web sites, listen to analysis, and watch video. He loves, beyond all reason, the NFL draft. It's like Christmas to him.

20. What is one unique talent he has?

He can always make me laugh. Even when I'm pissed off at him. He's also really, really, really good with a budget. I handle our bills, but if he had to take them over for some reason? I wouldn't worry about him screwing it up. Oh, and he's good at putting stuff together. None of this stuff is terribly unique - but hey, it's all I got.

Unholy Union

Brace yourselves kiddies - a blog post about American football. Turn back now while you still can.

I was thisclose to completing a blog post about my bookstore run today when My Man literally screamed from the living room, "Holy fecking shit!" Fecking, obviously, not being the exact word he used. I'm thinking someone died. No - but turns out I wasn't far off.

Terrell Owens has signed with the Buffalo Bills. Yes, my Buffalo Bills.

Somebody stop this train, I want to get off.

Anybody who tells you they saw this coming is a dirty rotten liar. I suggest backing away from them as fast as humanly possible in order to avoid the lightning strike. And since this is my blog, and I know y'all are dying to know that I think of this (OK, so probably only Kati cares what I think about this), I'm gonna tell you.

I'm actually looking forward to T.O. in Buffalo and all the drama that will ensue. Because even though the Bills only signed him to a one year contact, that is certainly enough time for T.O. to create havoc in the locker room, get our mediocre coach fired, resulting in the entire dismantling of the boring-ass mediocrity that has plagued the Bills organization ever since Jim Kelly And Company left.

But what does this deal truly mean? Well, I'm here to tell you:

• T.O. has officially worn out his welcome. Seriously people, he's now playing in Buffalo.

• The Bills are desperate. The owner, Ralph Wilson, AKA The Leprechaun, is officially 327 years old. OK, he's like 90. Whatever. There is no line of succession. When Ralph is gone, that team is up for grabs, and sure as shootin' their days playing in Buffalo are numbered. Yes, it will be sad - but look at the facts. Buffalo is a dying city. It has been a dying city for at least the past decade (and that's a conservative estimate). Anyone willing to buy that team is going to want to move it somewhere they can actually make some money. In a desperation hail mary play, the Bills played a game in Toronto last year, hoping to expand their marketing base. Their next move? Bring in a player who will get some butts in the seats - and that's T.O. Love him or hate him, the guy knows how to grab the spotlight for good or ill. T.O. is going to sell tickets. This is, of course, assuming any fan in this economy can still afford to buy tickets.
  

Over this weekend, as your husbands or boyfriends watch ESPN, you'll probably overhear some spin on how this will make the Bills "better." Um yeah, I call bullshit. Yes, our other wide receiver, Lee Evans, will no longer be double-teamed. What everyone seems to be forgetting is the minor detail that we don't have a quarterback. No Bills fans, I'm not a believer in Trent Edwards. There's also the fact that our offensive and defensive lines need major help. So unless T.O. can also play defensive end? Yeah, I'm just not convinced.

But like I said, maybe this one year contact will be enough time for T.O. to be T.O. and my team will finally blow up our huge steaming pile of mediocrity and, you know, rebuild itself into a team that actually has a prayer of winning more than 6 to 8 games a season. That would be a nice change of pace. In the meantime My Man and I are placing bets. He thinks it will take until game three of the regular season for T.O. to start bitching about how he's "not getting the ball." I'm thinking he'll overachieve and start whining even before preseason is over.

::headdesk::

Promotion 101

I know this topic has been beaten like the proverbial dead horse, but I have a full head of steam and need to get this off my chest. I was half-tempted to break out Little Miss Crabby Pants, but decided against it because I really don't want this to be a rant. No, I merely want to offer some advice, specifically to Harlequin writers.

First, a little background:

I reviewed Once An Outlaw by Debbi Rawlins for TGTBTU this month. It's a time travel western from Harlequin Blaze, and that was enough for me to try it. I found it to be an OK read, my main quibble being with the abrupt ending. Frankly, the heroine's sister is left hanging and I wanted answers. Since it screamed Sequel Bait to me, I thought I'd do a little searching.

I found out that Once A Rebel is due out in May. But no plot description since Debbi Rawlins' web site has vanished. OK fine. The cover art is similar and it's got the same "Stolen From Time" tag line - so I took a leap of faith. And fell on my face.

Someone commented on my review (thanks ldb!) and basically said, "Hey looks like there is a sequel out next month." And they're right. The heroine's sister is getting her own book, called Once A Gambler, which is written not by Debbi Rawlins, but Carrie Hudson. I didn't even consider a multi-author series. So does Carrie Hudson have a web site? No. Of course not. But thanks to Harlequin's Browse The Book feature, I find out that Carrie Hudson is really Barbara Ankrum, who wrote several historical romances back in the 1990s. So does Barbara Ankrum have a web site? Of course not.

Lather, rinse and repeat.

I'm going to be blunt here. This is way more work than I should have put in to find out about these books. And I'm a librarian for cripes sake. If I need the secret handshake, chances are your average Jane Schmoe Reader would have given up long before all of this. Plus I'm still stuck with the problem of not knowing what Once A Rebel is about. I'm assuming the hero of that story will be the drunken doctor, who was a secondary character in Once An Outlaw. But I'm assuming. I don't know for sure. Why?

BECAUSE NEITHER OF THE AUTHORS HAS A BLOODY WEB SITE!

Ahem. Sorry. I really don't want to rant.

Every author needs a web site. Even if the thing is bare bones. And if you're a Harlequin author? You know, someone who's books have very short shelf lives in retail outlets? It's imperative. Because readers can only buy your books during an allotted period of time, and trust me on this - not all readers are buying their books online. I know it's easy to think that they are - but trust me - they all aren't.

Oh, I can hear y'all thinking, "But gee Super Librarian, I'm just a fledgling baby author. I don't have the money for web site hosting and design!"

Seriously, just shoot me now.

Anyone, and I mean anyone, can set up a web presence for free. It's called a blog. I've been blogging (for free!) for the past 6 years. And the best part? The whole process has gotten idiot proof. With Blogger's new interface a damn monkey can throw up a blog (which I haven't converted to because I'm scared to push the button). Seriously. And it won't cost you a single dime. An example of an author using blogging software to host her web site? Long time Harlequin writer, Gina Wilkins (who is using WordPress). Oh sure, I wish she had plot descriptions of her books, but at least she's got a list there for readers, and has her series books marked.

It doesn't have to be hard. It doesn't need a ton of bells and whistles. Truly. But you all need something. Otherwise I get annoyed. And if I'm getting annoyed....

I'm thinking other readers are annoyed as well. Just going out on a limb with that one.

Fun In The Sun

If it weren't for the fact that I once read books entitled Honk If You Love Real Men and Million Dollar Stud, I would say How to Knit a Wild Bikini was the dopiest title I'd ever seen on a book. At this point, it's coming in at third place. Since I know the question is on your lips - the reason I read this dopey titled book was because Christie Ridgway is one of the authors on the romance panel for my library's upcoming literary event. Yes, the panel I'm moderating. Yep, more homework reading.

Nikki Carmichael is a chef with a shitty knee. It's because of her shitty knee that she's quit the restaurant job she loves. Now she's unemployed with a shitty knee, but luckily there is hope on the horizon. One of her culinary school friends has recommended her to magazine editor Jay Buchanan. Jay runs a Rah-Rah-Man magazine that's like a cross between Playboy, GQ and FHM. He's Hef Jr. Peter Pan. A love 'em and leave 'em sort of guy who has a bevy of beauties more than willing to warm his bed for one-night-stands. Unfortunately he made the mistake of sleeping with his insecure next-door neighbor, Shanna (yes, named after the Kathleen Woodiwiss novel) and Jay wants her off his back. So he hires Nikki as his personal chef (he and his visiting teenage cousin, Fern, need to eat real meals after all) and to play his girlfriend on the side until Shanna gets the hint.

Most of my issues with the story stem from Jay who spends 3/4 of the novel walking around shirtless, calling Nikki "cookie," and just not manning up and being honest with Shanna. In real life guys of this ilk set off my Douchebag Alarm. They just do. And while Jay has his nice moments (he's not all douchebaggery), those initial first impressions are hard to shake.

Nikki seems like a nice, albeit distant, girl. She's very much a loner. An I'm An Independent Woman Gosh Darnit So Back Off. What I really liked about her was that she called Jay on 99.9% of his douchebagginess. She's got a smart mouth. Hell, I have a smart mouth so naturally I loved her. Unfortunately she's got a mountain of baggage and hang-ups. Almost too much really. A panel of shrinks could have a field day with this girl. After a while I was desperately hoping for something (anything!) "normal" to crop up about her.

The secondary characters round out this story - Fern, Jay's niece; Cassandra, who owns the local yarn shop; and Shanna, the bimbo next door. I have to admit the secondary romance featuring Shanna intrigued me quite a bit. Think of Shanna as Paris Hilton in ten years. A girl made famous by her famous family (Daddy is an Aaron Spelling-like TV producer) and her wild child ways. Well now she's 30-something, no longer all that famous, totally alone, and with no skills outside of being able to call her manicurist and hairstylist. Ridgway pairs her up with a blue-collar guy, and it was a great mix until the ending which got very soap-operay. I can't decide if the relationship is doomed to be toxic or built on a lifetime of enabling. I suspect it would have worked better for me if Shanna had her own book devoted to her. Girlfriend has some issues that needed hammering out in more pages than a secondary romantic storyline can allow.

So where does that leave me? Well, I generally liked this book. I wasn't madly in love with any of the characters, but it flew along at a good clip and I think Ridgway writes quite well. It was breezy and sunny (not unlike the Malibu, California setting), with some depth added to the mix so that it wasn't total cotton candy. I happily kept flipping the pages to see how it would turn out for all the characters. Hell, I'm even mildly curious about the next two books in the series. Which I guess means I'm more than willing to read Christie Ridgway again....you know, when it's not homework.

My Grade = B-/C+. I'm still waffling.

Those Crazy Kids

One of the sucky things about living 3000 miles away from most of my family is that I don't get to spend any real quality time with my niece (The Fairy Princess) and my nephew (The Flash). The little wieners sure do grow up fast, and it's more than a little depressing that I only see them live and in person once a year. Seems like only yesterday that I was getting ready for RWA in Denver (for the record, that was 2002) and the Big Sis and Comic Book Guy brother-in-law were bringing her home from China. Now she's 7, and on her last birthday I was told to "Get her a gift certificate to Barnes and Noble. She loves to pick out her own books."

The Big Sis occasional sends me cutesy stuff the kids do in school, and the latest arrival appeared last week. The Fairy Princess did this in school. They're currently learning about the concept of "big" numbers, and right now they're talking about "100." The teacher asked them what they would do with a $100, and here's what the smart girl wrote/drew:

Click on the images to make them larger












Here's exactly what it says:

If I won $100.00 I would spend it on books I like at Barns and Noble and then I would come home and read all of my new books.

Sigh, it's enough to bring a tear to your eye isn't it? Just like her Auntie Wendy. She likes to spend money on books and favors run-on sentences. Bless that child's heart. I couldn't be more proud.

The Month That Was February 2009

February may be the shortest month of the year, but I read a very respectable 10 books. OK, so the majority of them were Harlequins, and one of them was a short story. But I'm done feeling guilty about reading "shorter" books. Well, not quite as guilty anyway. Here's how it all breaks down (title links will take you to full reviews):

Stranger by Megan Hart, Contemporary Erotic Novel - I continue to love Hart's voice and writing style. I also enjoy how she puts her characters through the emotional wringer to get their happy endings. But this book felt a little long to me. I wanted a lot more of the heroine with the hero, not the heroine with the studly gigolo she was macking on. My Grade = B

Night Rising by Chris Marie Green, Paranormal - This is one of the authors on the romance panel at my library's upcoming literary event which I am, once again, moderating. I was surprised how much I liked this story given that I'm so bloody sick of all things paranormal right now. Interesting heroine, good mystery, and a vampires-are-bad storyline. I'll probably read the next two books in the series. My Grade = B-

Sexile by Lisa Lawrence, Erotic Thriller - The third book in the author's Teresa Knight series. Teresa continues to kick ass, and I love that she's strong, independent and smart. The mystery here is a real doozy, and it kind of makes my head swim just thinking about it. Not a book you can read and half-assed pay attention to, that's for darn sure. My Grade = B-

The Concubine by Jade Lee, Harlequin Blaze - The second historical (ever) to be offered through the Blaze line. I loved the 19th century China setting, and the premise made for an intriguing read. I could have done without some of the purple prose though (Jade stalk? Seriously?). My Grade = B-

The Texan's Tennessee Romance by Gina Wilkins, Silhouette Special Edition - Reviewing Harlequins for TGTBTU allows me to pick up some "impulse reads." This one was, unfortunately, a dud. There was enough conflict to make it interesting, but the author instead chose to focus on things like the hero and heroine feeding a stray dog (gag) and going on a hike together. Also, this one has a terminal case of series-itis. My Grade = D+

Pleasured by the English Spy by Bronwyn Scott, Harlequin Historical Undone - Another short story from the eBook-only Undone line. I loved the setting of this one (Italy!), and Scott utilizes the locale for marvelous effect. I could have used a bit more dialogue though. My Grade = B

Wanted in Alaska by Kate Bridges, Harlequin Historical - Bridges' latest set in very late 19th century Alaska. This was a quick read that I enjoyed at the time, but didn't have a lot of "staying" power. My Grade = B-

The Earl's Untouched Bride by Annie Burrows, Harlequin Historical - Extremely well-written, but with a Big Misunderstanding plot that goes on and on and on and on.... Even though I wanted to bitch-slap both the characters (on multiple occasions), I stayed up until 1:30AM finishing this book. I really enjoyed Burrows' writing and story-telling capabilities. I'll be reading her next book. My Grade = C-

Once An Outlaw by Debbi Rawlins, Harlequin Blaze - A western time travel that I picked up out of curiosity. A good story until the ending, which felt very rushed. I'm not convinced that the past won't come back to haunt the happy couple, and that knocked my grade down a bit. My Grade = C+

A Texan On Her Doorstep (TGTBTU review forthcoming) by Stella Bagwell - Compelling conflict, and there's a scene between the hero and his long lost mother (who abandoned him as a child!) that about ripped my heart out. But this book pushed every single one of my feminist hot buttons. A 38-year-old virgin heroine (::headdesk::) who happily gives up her entire life to be with the hero. "No darling, don't you worry about a thing. Let me sacrifice everything so we can be together." Puke. Those must have been some seriously good orgasms is all I'm saying. My Grade = D+