Wendy's Pimping Harlequins Again

I thought about whipping out Little Miss Crabby Pants again for this post, but honestly, she's still busy ranting about the swine flu. No, today's post is brought to you by your friendly neighborhood Harlequin SuperRomance pimp.

Um, that would be me. Just in case you were wondering.

Three things that really annoy me. 1) How Harlequin has become synonymous with "romance" as a whole genre - especially when hurled as an insult by assholes jack-offs who sneer at the genre. Hence the phrase "trashy Harlequins." 2) How some romance readers treat Harlequins like the red-headed step-child of the genre. Never mind that many of them are happily lapping up books by authors who got their start writing for Harlequin. Just saying. 3) How all Harlequins are tarred and feathered with the Harlequin Presents brush. HP is one line. Well, two now that they've taken over Silhouette Desire ::sob::

Which is where I come in. Harlequins are, in my ever so humble opinion, the purest form of romance. It's all the romance, without any of the BS. Certainly you're going to find vampires, werewolves, and serial killers in Harlequin books - but the vast majority of them? Yeah, straight-up, good, old-fashioned contemporary romances.

Remember those?

Which brings me to A Not-So-Perfect Past by Beth Andrews. I'm not sure where this author has been all my life, but damn, I think I'm in love. Seriously. Drop everything, and head on over to my review at TGTBTU. I pretty much say it all there. And if you haven't tried the SuperRomance line? What the hell are you waiting for? I've discovered three fabulous new-to-me authors there in the past year. Ellen Hartman, Janice Kay Johnson (who's been writing forever and I just found her!) and now Beth Andrews.

Hell, at least take it under advisement.

Oink, Oink

Dear Media:

I like to think I have a pretty sensitive bull-shit meter. Unfortunately, I also know that not everyone else does. That's probably why your continued fanning of the Swine Flu flames is starting to piss me off. Yes, some people should be concerned. But honestly, there is absolutely no reason for this level of panic.

Newsflash: any strain of the flu virus can kill you. No really. Any strain. The sticking point? It's not going to indiscriminately kill everybody. People who should be concerned? The elderly, parents of small children and those with weakened immune systems because of some other medical condition. Normal, healthy adults? You know, a huge chunk of the U.S. population? Yes, if we get the flu it will blow donkey balls, but it's highly unlikely that we'll end up dead from it.

All people need to do is be smart. Wash your hands. Cover your mouth when you sneeze and/or cough. If you're sick, stay home from work.

I'm not saying some people shouldn't be worried (see the second paragraph) - but for the love of all that is holy, this kind of mass hysteria is really unnecessary. Or it could just be that I'm cranky because I work for a government agency and they're doing their best to freak us all out as well.

Yours truly,
Little Miss Crabby Pants

Oh Sweet Jesus, My Eyes!

I swear by all that is holy (chocolate, a good bottle of cheap wine, and six-pack abs on a hunky guy) that I came across this...this...thing while visiting one of our libraries today.

Isn't it horrifying? The colors! The poor man's imitation of Picasso! The....the....

Well the just plain wrong.

If this isn't proof that romance does not hold the market share on crappy cover art than nothing will. I'm thinking of actually making flyers up of this bad boy and handing them out at RWA.

"The next time some sneers at the man-titty, just give them one of these."

Gah!

Please Sir, May I Have Some More?

As I mentioned in my last post, one of the local used bookstores (that I had never been to, so yes I was part of the problem) is closing up shop. I debated for about half a second on whether or not I'd go this weekend to check it out. Yeah, I held out that long. Who would have thunk it? I'm glad I went, because it turns out I scored quite a few goodies (yes, clicking on the picture will make it larger for you Nosy Noras):

I scored 26 books for less than $50, which as you smarty math types know works out to be less than $2 per book. Pretty sweet eh?

Now for the So. Cal. Bloggers, all of whom are spread out over a fairly large geographic area. The Bookman in Huntington Beach is going to be open another couple of months. It might be worth the trip for some of you, depending on what's on your shopping list. If your TBB only has books that are less than 6 months old? Yeah, not worth the trip. Most of what I scored was "older," although I did find several 2008 releases.

Now there was quite a bit of old school romance, complete with bodice-ripping covers. So if you go for nostalgia, then definitely worth a look. Also, their collection of Harlequin series titles is very, very good. I only found a couple of SuperRomance titles I was looking for, but did very well on Silhouette Special Editions. They still had a ton of titles from the old Temptation line (sigh, I miss that line!), and their collection of Silhouette Desires was also quite good. So if you're a Harlequin junkie like I am, it's definitely worth a trip since they were selling them for $1 a piece this weekend (and one can presume that the price might drop as this liquidation goes on).

So if you're looking for historicals and Harlequins? Might be worth the trip. At the very least, it was a fun a treasure hunt and I spent several minutes gawking at old school romance cover art. You know, the ones where the heroines have more hair than Chewbacca and the heroes must be dirt poor because all of their shirts are torn and tattered. Ha!

Football Widow

This weekend is the weekend that My Man essentially lives for. Yep, it's NFL Draft weekend. How to explain this to my blog readers (well, except for Kati) so that they understand? OK, I got it. I love attending conferences. Especially a conference like RWA where I get to hang out with romance reading peeps who love the genre as much as I do. As an added bonus, I get to chat up authors, learn about cool upcoming releases, and generally have fun. In between conferences I'm hanging out online, chatting with romance reading peeps, scouring author and publisher web sites, like a junkie looking for her next fix.

That's how the NFL Draft is for My Man. The endless hours of coverage on ESPN this weekend just aren't enough. He has spent the last several months scouring the coverage online, watching the NFL Network, and even reading special NFL Draft editions put out by the popular sporting magazines. Seriously, it's like a sickness.

Me: Is the NFL Draft your favorite time of year?

My Man: Probably. I like the regular season a lot though. And I used to love the postseason back when the Bills didn't suck.

Hardy har har.

What does this all mean for me? Well, when I don't get sucked into watching some of the Draft I hope to get caught up on my reading. I also found out this week that another area of used bookstore is biting the dust and going out of business.

Now before the So. Cal. Bloggers jump all over me - it's the Bookman in Huntington Beach. They're blaming the economy. I'm thinking it's actually a combination of crappy economy and the atrocious rent prices near the beach. I've never actually been to this store. Ever. So I have no clue what the heck their romance section is like (or if they even have one). That said, I have been to their main store in Orange, and their romance section is pretty decent. So I'm hoping for the best. Also, I don't know how long this going out of business sale has been going on - so I have no clue how picked over the stock is. But hell, I just can't say no to a going-out-of-business sale. Plus there's always the possibility of scoring some older Harlequins, and I definitely can't pass those up. I'll let y'all know how it goes.

It Needs To Be Dark

Book Binge beat me to it, but damn I'm going to blog about it anyway. Word got out yesterday that Fox 2000 has picked up the rights to Patricia Cronwell's Kay Scarpetta novels in hopes of developing a franchise for Angelina Jolie.

Fans of the books know this is not the first time there have been movie talks. Back when Demi Moore had a career (remember those days?) she was linked to the Scarpetta role, and specifically a movie version of From Potter's Field (the best book in the series, in my opinion).

A few reasons why I think it might work this time around:

• Jolie met with Cornwell personally.
  

• Although Jolie isn't blonde or remotely Italian-looking, I think she'll be able to get the "feel" of the Scarpetta character right.

• Jolie is hotter than hot right now.

• The plan is to develop a franchise around the characters, and not use one specific book as script material. I think this is an insanely smart idea.
  

• The plan is for it to be "dark." As in Silence of the Lambs and Seven dark.
  

A few reasons why I think it could be terrible:

• The Lucy character. What will they do with her? Little Girl Lucy, like in the early books? Total screw-up Lucy like in the middle books? Finally getting her shit together Lucy like in the later books? I think you dump the Lucy character entirely, but if they feel like they have to have her, I say go with Little Girl Lucy.
  

• Casting Marino. They need to cast him right. I always pictured George Dzundza as Marino. Maybe John Goodman, although he's too "likeable" in my mind. The problem is that both of these guys are probably "too old" now. Hollywood will probably want to go "young." The actor needs to be hefty in size and be able to play politically incorrect convincingly while still coming off as a "smart" cop. In my opinion, this is non-negotiable.
  

• The script. All of this is a moot point if a decent script doesn't surface.

How do I feel about it? Lord help me, I'm intrigued. Mostly because I'm like one of four women (total) on the planet who actually "likes" Angelina Jolie. Yeah, yeah, Jennifer Aniston, blah blah blah. I do think girlfriend desperately needs a box of Twinkies though. Or a sandwich. Hell, carbs and sugar of some kind. I'm not picky.

Romance Fan Fail

I was chatting with Sybil last week and, having Internet connectivity issues, she asked if there was a lot of chatter online about Lover Avenged by J.R. Ward. You know, the hard cover coming out on April 28. I said not really. There has been some (that I've seen) but nothing compared to what the buzz was like when the first few books in the series came out. Looking at library stats, I will say that while I do have a waiting list for Lover Avenged, it's not as obscene as I thought it was going to be. Actually I had more demand for Bone Crossed by Patricia Briggs (also the first hard cover in that series) than I'm currently experiencing for Lover Avenged. Hmmmm

I have a theory on why this is (I'll give you a hint - it involves shark jumping), but since I don't read either series, it's all wild speculation on my part. Hell it could just be that Ward's fans are already planning on buying their copy on April 28. Forget the library.

So while I'm not counting down the hours until Lover Avenged appears, I am excited about another book with a April 28 laydown date.

Squeee! Yes, it's Killer Cruise by Laura Levine! My favorite fluffy, brain candy, cozy mystery series featuring unlucky-in-love Jaine Austen (no relation) and her demanding kitty, Prozac.

Description:

Wordsmith Jaine Austen’s ship has finally come in. Her new teaching gig on a fancy cruise line nabs her a free vacation—and access to a 24-hour buffet! But sooner than you can say “bon voyage,” Jaine’s all-expenses-paid trip to the Mexican Riviera seems destined to be a wreck…

Things are already off to a rocky start when Jaine discovers a stowaway amidst her luggage—her persnickety cat Prozac. To make matters worse, Prozac is also spotted by the ship’s steward, an aspiring writer who quickly uses his advantage to blackmail Jaine into editing his massive handwritten manuscript. So much for seven days of sun, fun, and relaxation…

Jaine’s sinking sensation grows stronger at dinner, where she meets chatty Emily Pritchard, a wealthy seventy-year-old who’s traveling with her bossy personal secretary, Ms. Nesbitt, and her nephews, arrogant investment banker Kyle, and his ruggedly handsome brother Robbie. Jaine can’t help noticing the tension among them, especially when the cruise’s charming—and sleazy—British dancer, Graham, whisks Emily out onto the dance floor and keeps her there for the rest of the evening.

Soon Emily is accepting Graham’s invitations to every social event on the ship even though her nephews and Ms. Nesbitt clearly don’t approve. And when the bubbly couple announces their engagement just two nights later, no one is more surprised than Graham’s longtime girlfriend Cookie. But the news is quickly overshadowed the next morning by the discovery of Graham’s body with an ice pick protruding from his chest…

The captain is quick to accuse Cookie, but Jaine suspects there are more sharks in the water. Was money-hungry Kyle protecting his inheritance? Perhaps Ms. Nesbitt was attempting to regain control over Emily’s life? Or could the notorious lothario have fallen to one of his many paramours? And what about Robbie? Although Jaine finds herself falling for him, she can’t help but wonder if he’s been completely honest with her. Between hiding a furry fugitive, flirting with Robbie, and baiting the hook for a clever murderer, Jaine is about to dive into her most dangerous case yet…

Bubbly, feel-good fun (along with a dead body - you just can't beat that!) all wrapped up in less than 300 pages. They're always fast, fun reads and I can't wait to get my hands on this one.

And seriously, I want to eat that book cover up with a spoon.

King Of The Wild Frontier

Dear KristieJ,

We share a number of books in common. You're one of my western homegirls yo. However, when it comes to books that you love and adore, we tend to run into some differences. Case in point, I slapped both Dreaming of You by Lisa Kleypas and Broken Wing by Judith James with C grades. Amazingly enough, you're still talking to me. You're also quite fond of shaking your head in disgust and nagging me ("Wendy, Wendy, Wendy") when you find out I've got some incredible book languishing in my TBR. So in an effort to disappoint you a little less when we see each other in July at RWA (squeee!), I promised you I would read Ride The Fire by Pamela Clare before then. I literally plowed through the last 100 pages on my lunch break today.

Description:

There was only one rule on the frontier—survival. So when wounded, buckskin-clad stranger appeared at the door of her isolated cabin, Elspeth Stewart felt no qualms about disarming him and then tying him to her bed. Newly widowed and expecting her first child, she had to protect herself at all costs. And Nicholas Kenleigh threatened not only her safety, but her peace of mind. The terrible scars on his body spoke of a tortured past, but his gentle touch and burning gaze awoke longings she had never expected to feel.

Bethie had every reason in the world to distrust men; the cruelty she suffered at their hands had marked her soul, though her blonde beauty showed no sign of it. But little by little she found herself believing in Nicholas, in his honor, his strength. As he brought her baby into the world, then took both mother and daughter into his care, she realized this scarred survivor could heal her wounded spirit, and together they would… Ride the Fire.

It's always interesting to read a book based on a blogger's recommendation, especially when it's a blogger you know personally. Reading this book, I immediately understood why you love the story so much. You've got a scarred, wounded hero, a wounded heroine, a wonderful sense of history, and long, languid kissing scenes. This book has KristieJ stamped all over it.

I think it's pretty well documented how much I abhor helpless heroines, and certainly Bethie is helpless. The difference here is that her helplessness is believable. She's a damaged, widowed, pregnant woman, living alone on the frontier in 1763. What I appreciated was that while she was alone and scared, she wasn't cowering in a corner waiting for someone to attack her. Oh no! Girlfriend knows how to use a rifle, and matches wits quite well with Nicholas when he shows up wounded on her doorstep.

I appreciate authors who can write a romance novel that bucks the conventions of what naysayers think of as a "bodice ripper." The next time some jackass tells me I read fluffy brain candy garbage, I'm ripping the prologue out of this book and telling them, "Hey, Jackass - this is a romance novel." Man, it's brutal. I liked the amount of factual history Clare weaved into this story, and I really liked the fact that she didn't pull her punches. This is not a sunshine happy puppy dog rainbow kind of book - but then the American frontier during the 1760s was not a happy sunshiney kind of place.

What I thought Clare did especially well in this story was writing the sheer scope of it without leaving the reader with abrupt transitions, and jarring head-hopping. There's a real saga-like quality to this story. I also am a sucker for damaged wounded characters learning to forgive themselves and love again - and both Nicholas and Bethie fit that mold.

I'll be honest, I did feel the prose bordered on turgid at times. It's not quite as purple as say some of those "bodice rippers" from the 1980s, but it's definitely more purple than what some other historical writers are putting out these days. The only time it really felt jarring to me was when Nicholas was having lusty thoughts about Bethie. I found myself thinking that no man, regardless of the time period, would think in such turgid terms - but since I'm not likely to be transported back to the 1760s, what do I really know?

All this being said, I'll be honest....this isn't a keeper for me. As you are no doubt aware, the magic of a "keeper" is often an elusive and mysterious thing. A lot depends on the time and place the reader is in when they pick up the book. I'm not sure what makes a book a keeper for me, what magic elements a book has to have, I just know it when I read it. And after finishing Ride The Fire, I don't have that burning, itching desire (is there an ointment for that?) to read it again. That's usually the benchmark for me. That the moment I finish the last page, I close the book and just "know" that I'll want to reread the story again someday. I didn't get that feeling here.

Doesn't mean I didn't like the book though, and it doesn't mean I won't recommend it to people. I enjoyed it quite a bit, especially the ending which really cooked for me. So I guess this is all a long-winded way of saying Final Grade = B+. Now dear KristieJ, we've got one less book for you to nag me about. Don't fret though. My TBR is so obscene I'm sure there are plenty of other nagging candidates languishing on my shelves. Which means I should probably get better at lying before July....

I Know It's Around Here Somewhere

As many of you have probably noticed, the Bat Cave has been a bit of a Dead Zone this week. This is mostly because work has been kicking my ass. Plus, when I get tired, my brain atrophies and blogging inspiration flees the scene. I've had a devil of a time coming up with stuff to bore amuse you all with.

Yes, KristieJ - I'm still reading Ride The Fire. See above: work kicked Wendy's ass this week. I am halfway through the book though.

I had some general running around to do today, so I made a stop at Borders. Once there I discovered they're doing some minor renovating. Of note? The romance section is a lot roomier now. I don't think they've done away with shelf space, but they've opened up the area a lot more. Makes it really handy for browsing. Anyway, there was one book in particular I wanted to get, and goody goody - they had it in stock. Here's what I picked up:

Texas Hold Him by Lisa Cooke - As part of my futile quest to convince publishers that yes, some readers really do like historicals not set in England, I do my very best to buy all the non-English historicals on my To Be Bought list brand, spankin' new. Not used. Not swapping with friends. I buy them new. This one caught my eye because it sounded really grand, and it takes place in post-Civil War New Orleans.

Description:

As if losing the war to the Yankees weren’t bad enough, Lottie Mason must get $15,000 dollars to protect her ailing father from prison. None of her friends have that kind of money and the only place she can think of to get it is from the thriving riverboat gambling enterprise on the Mississippi. Problem is, she doesn’t know a thing about playing cards. So she approaches the best gambler on the river to offer him a deal. She’ll pay him a percentage of her earnings if he’ll teach her to gamble.

Texan Dyer Straights has his own demons to fight and teaching Lottie poker is the last thing he wants to do. When Lottie’s pestering finally pushes him to the end of his rope, he makes her the most scandalous deal he can think of in order to scare her away…he’ll teach her the game if she’ll give him a night in his bed.

What he doesn’t know is, it’s an offer she can’t refuse.

Dyer Straights?! Seriously? Not quite the worst name I've ever seen slapped on a hero, but damn it's in the running. Ahem, anywho....I've got a bit of a "thing" for desperate heroines. It's kinda sick actually. Also? Best opening line ever.

"To the good folk of the world, God gave a conscience. To everyone else, evidently, he gave a gun."

Hell it was worth paying full price for just that line alone. But honestly? Dyer Straights?

So I'm casually browsing the romance section and nothing else is jumping up and biting me in the butt. Well I can't very well just buy one book. I mean, how wrong is that? So I did what I always do when faced with this quandary. I hit the erotic romance section. That's where I found Nailed by Amie Stuart. A few reasons why I decided to go with this one. Amie is one of my homegirls over on Twitter. The plot description sounded intriguing. And lastly? I about choked when I saw the title. Ahhhh, the subtleties of erotic romance titles. ::snort::

Description:

As resident fix-it girl for an apartment complex in a tiny Texas town, Bonnie James makes enough money to pay the bills and have a little fun on the side. She likes checking out the other tenants and sometimes indulges in her own sexual fantasies by watching them late at night. It's exciting, it's erotic, and it always leaves her ready and willing for more.

When you're a bounty hunter, late night stake-outs are part of the job. So Wynn Collier should be concentrating on his own business, not watching a Peeping Tom with the sweetest body west of the Mississippi. But he's a hot-blooded male on a hot Texas night and he can't resist the chance to investigate every one of her delectable curves.

Heck, that's good enough for me. Easy, thy name is Wendy. Now to find my blogging inspiration. I know I left it lying around here somewhere....

My Dad Thinks I'm Cool

I need blog fodder. Unfortunately work has been kicking my ass the last couple of days, and I can't seem to put together a coherent post on one topic. So y'all are getting random thoughts, tid-bits and general silliness. I know, how did y'all get so lucky?

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First up, I've had three reviews posted over at TGTBTU within the last few days.

Clicking on the covers will take you to the full reviews.














A few things of note. The Substitute Bride by Elizabeth Lane is a sequel to last year's The Borrowed Bride.

I read In A Mother's Arms mostly because it had stories by Jillian Hart and Victoria Bylin, and also because I thought it was high-time I tried an inspirational romance. The Bylin story is emotionally magnificent, but readers have to be willing to wade through some "God-stuff" to get to the payoff. For that reason, I'm not sure how widely read it will be by the heathen secular masses.

I'm thinking of trademarking "God-stuff," in reference to inspirational romance books. As in, "How much God-stuff is in this story?" I think this is a perfectly reasonable question, but that could just be the way my mind works.

And because I tend to get a bit pissy defensive about my Harlequin reading, and because KristieJ was quick to point out that all the March HSR books had babies in them, I want to make sure everyone is aware of Someone Like Her by Janice Kay Johnson, an April HSR release.

No billionaires. No tycoons. No virgin secretaries. No mistresses. And no babies - secret or otherwise. Seriously. It's like the anti-Harlequin.

++++++++++

What the 'eff is up with the lack of leftover Easter candy this year?! Frankly, the best part about Easter is going to the grocery store the Monday after and buying up leftover Cadbury Creme Eggs, Cadbury Mini Eggs and Robin Eggs for 50% off. But this year, and several trips to different grocery stores, have turned up absolutely nothing except a few leftover chocolate bunnies.

My running theory? The crappy-ass economy freaked out candy makers, and they distributed fewer quantities this year. Hence, no leftovers.

Bastards!

Either that or the So. Cal. grocery stores are conspiring against me. Doesn't matter really. I still don't have leftover Easter candy and that gives me a sad.

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Now, to explain the title of this post. Yes, gentle blog followers, my Dad reads my blog. This would probably be enough to freak out the typical mild-mannered librarian, but not I. I am "super" after all. No, it just means I try to keep my swearing to a minimum (hence the lack of F-bombing on the blog).

Dad told me over the weekend that he really liked my Opening Day baseball post. He thought it was funny. So funny that he made one of his coworkers read it.

Ahhhhh....

I love you too Daddy.

We'll Leave A Light On For You

I don't know a reader alive who isn't hesitant when it comes to collaborative novels. My fear is that the seams will show. Author "voice" is a delicate, often times elusive, matter. Working with another writer and having to "blend" your "voices?" Not easy. However Megan Hart and Lauren Dane pull it off for a marvelous effect in their first book for Black Lace, Taking Care Of Business.

Leah Griffin is the head of Allied Packaging's HR department. It's her job to make sure their upcoming conference goes off without a hitch. Frankly, the conference couldn't have come at a better time. She's just ordered her douchebag boyfriend to get the hell out of her life and out of her house. In her words, "Their games of dominance and submission had become nothing more than an excuse for him to act like an asshole." Then she meets very tall, dark and handsome Brandon Long, who just so happens to be her go-to contact man on the hotel staff. Pretty soon this slightly older woman and younger man are setting off fireworks.

Leah's BFF, Kate Edwards, is also at the hotel to attend the conference. She's an upwardly mobile corporate lawyer who is working for Allied as a consultant. She is also having a hot and heavy affair with Allied's in-house counsel Charles "Dix" Dixon. Kate is very leery of mixing business and pleasure, but Dix has a way of turning her brain and knees to mush. What will he say when he finds out she's gotten a job transfer to Philadelphia? That she'll literally be living in his back yard? Will that put an end to their smokin' hot affair?

This is a fun, quick read - and so very different in tone and style from Hart's heavier, emotionally messy, work for Harlequin Spice. I literally plowed through this in an afternoon. First, Hart and Dane work quite well together and even though the story jumps back and forth between Leah/Brandon and Kate/Dix it blends pretty seamlessly. I've never read Dane before, and thought I "knew" Hart's writing - so imagine my surprise when I went to Hart's web site and found out that the couple I thought she wrote was actually Dane's doing.

Heh.

Go Team Wendy.

There's enough conflict here to keep the story from being "all about sex" - and I appreciated that it wasn't a non-stop boink-fest, even though there is plenty of steamy stuff to go around. I also liked the inclusion of female friendship in the story. Romance novels are written primarily for a female readership, so it's interesting we don't see more "female friendships" on display in the genre. Hart and Dane get it right here. Two women who are candid, frank, and drop the F-bomb almost as much as I do. There's an affection there, and a real caring.

I will say that the Leah/Brandon story was my favorite - mostly because I was half in love with Brandon from the moment the author(s) introduce him. My absolute favorite type of hero - the genuinely nice guy who has been badly burned in the past, but is totally smitten with the heroine. Loved, loved, loved this guy! I also liked the fact that a Kate/Dix storyline featured some "real" believable conflict in the form of the Dix's previous marriage and two teenage daughters. Don't worry - they don't overrun the story (thank you baby Jesus!), but this bit of conflict was a nice touch and worked quite well.

This wasn't quite a Gushing-I'm-Madly-In-Love type of book for me, but I still enjoyed it quite a bit. I literally plowed through it in a couple of hours, and given my terminally slow reading nature, that's saying something. A fine collaborative effort and goody-goody - looks like a sequel is in the works.

Final Grade = B

Pointing And Laughing

I've seen this book meme floating around various romance blogs, so I thought "what the hell?" OK, I really thought "Gah, I need blog filler!" I tend to not do very many of these book memes because they only succeed in highlighting how grossly not-well-read I am. But the need desire for blog filler wins out in the end. Here it goes:


1) What Author Do You Own The Most Books By? Susan Wiggs. Somewhere in the ballpark of 25-ish. I discovered her historicals several years back and went on a massive glom.

2) What Book Do You Own The Most Copies Of? A tie between Breathless by Laura Lee Guhrke and The Firebrand by Susan Wiggs. I have two copies of Breathless and two copies of The Firebrand, one of which is an autographed ARC.

3) What Fictional Character Are You Secretly In Love With? Murphy Muldoon from Nora Roberts' Born In Shame and Dillon Hennessey from The Horseman by Jillian Hart. There's something about the genuinely "nice guy" as romance novel hero that just turns my insides to goo.

4) What Book Have You Read More Than Any Other? I don't do a lot of rereading. My TBR Anxiety is that overpowering. Books I've read more than once? I Do, I Do, I Do by Maggie Osborne, The Firebrand by Susan Wiggs and Breathless by Laura Lee Guhrke. If audio books count? Easily the Alphabet mysteries by Sue Grafton.

5) What Was Your Favorite Book When You Were 10-Years-Old? Sad to say I wasn't much of a reader when I was this age. My guess? The Cat Ate My Gymsuit by Paula Danziger. Although I think I was older than 10.

6) What Is The Worst Book You've Read In The Past Year? Probably A Texan On Her Doorstep by Stella Bagwell. I have a couple other "D" reads I could have chosen, but as a feminist this one pissed me off the most.

7) What Is The Best Book You've Read In The Past Year? Kidnapped: His Innocent Mistress by Nicola Cornick. Harlequin-ized title aside, it reminded me so much of the books I loved and devoured as a teenager. It pushed all the right nostalgia buttons for me.

8) If You Could Tell Everyone You Know To Read One Book, What Would It Be? This is a tough one, so I'll pick the book I was the most obnoxious about in recent memory. Heartsick by Chelsea Cain.

9) What Is The Most Difficult Book You've Ever Read? Hard Times by Charles Dickens. So painful I couldn't even finish it.

10) Do You Prefer The French Or The Russians? Um, neither. Although I'll go with the Russians because they gave the world vodka.

11) Shakespeare, Milton Or Chaucer? Shakespeare - but only the tragedies. His comedies annoy the crap out of me.

12) Austen Or Eliot? Neither. Although I lean more to the side of the Austen camp.

13) What Is The Biggest Or Most Embarrassing Gap In Your Reading? The classics. I'm grossly under-read in "classic" literature. That said, my Lil' Sis was an English major, and she's given me the impression that I ain't missing out on much.

14) What Is Your Favorite Novel? Of Mice And Men by John Steinbeck. It's breathtakingly perfect. Flawed characters, evocative setting, so emotional it rips your heart out - all in a story that clocks in at barely over 100 pages. Every single word counts, and Steinbeck says no more and no less than he absolutely has to. The greatest writer America has ever produced. Period. You won't convince me otherwise.

15) Play? The Crucible by Arthur Miller. Taken in context of when it was written, it's absolutely bloody brilliant.

16) Poem? Probably The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe.

17) Essay? I don't read 'em - so I don't have one.

18) Short Story? I read a lot of anthologies, but nothing really stands out. I don't think I've ever graded a short story an "A." Lots of "B"s, but no "A"s.

19) Non-Fiction? Belfast Diary: War As A Way Of Life by John Conroy. One of the few books I was required to read in college that I actually didn't have to slog through.

20) Graphic Novel? I've never read one. Seriously. I know, I'm bad.

21) Science Fiction? I don't like straight-up science fiction. It's just not my thing. For hybrids, I liked Games Of Command by Linnea Sinclair and I enjoy Susan Grant's work.

22) Who Is Your Favorite Writer? Maggie Osborne. There's a real honesty in her books and she never pulled her punches. I wish she was still writing. The romance genre needs her. Hell, I need her.

23) Who Is The Most Overrated Writer Alive Today? Because I love invoking the ire of romance readers - J.R. Ward. Sorry folks. I can't get past the gawd-awful, horrible, mind-numbing dialogue and can't for the life of me understand how the rest of you can. You feel me?

24) What Are You Reading Right Now? Taking Care of Business by Megan Hart & Lauren Dane

25) Best Memoir? In My Hands: Memories Of A Holocaust Rescuer by Irene Opdyke. Technically "young adult" this story knocks the wind right out of you. I defy anyone to read it and not bawl their eyes out.

26) Best History? The Great Hunger: Ireland 1845 - 1849 by Cecil Woodham-Smith. Can you tell I was a college British history major fascinated with British/Irish relations? Everything you ever wanted to know about the potato famine, and a very accessible read.

27) Best Mystery Or Noir? Right now? A toss up between Sweetheart by Chelsea Cain and Money Shot by Christa Faust. I also have mad love for Loren D. Estleman's Amos Walker series.

Little Miss Crabby Pants Gets Snotty

Dear Los Angeles Times,

I know this has been a tough time for you. What with newspapers sinking faster than the Titanic and you laying off a bunch of people. So I can understand why you'd be feeling particularly surly and snotty right now. However, is it really necessary to take it out on romance readers?

First, there's the simple fact that once again the L.A. Times Book Festival doesn't have one single romance author anywhere on the program. Not one. There's really no excuse for this. Frankly, the only state with more romance writers per capita than California is Texas. Plus, RWA has some supremely awesome local chapters out here, chock full of writers who I know would fall all over themselves to be a part of your event. So once again, I will not be attending. As tempting as it is to have the chance to bow down before the totally kick ass Mary Higgins Clark - I don't think I could live with myself to support an event that has such an obvious bias towards the largest selling genre of fiction. C'est la vie. We all have a choice. You've been choosing to ignore the romance genre and it's readers, and I'm choosing not to attend. Everybody wins! / end sarcasm

However your recent op-ed-like piece on the recession heating up the romance market really sticks in my craw. One of the sad facts of life is that I always expect the worst when the mainstream media gets it in their heads to do a story about romance novels. I brace myself for the worst, and am pleasantly surprised when I read an article that actually doesn't mention Fabio, sex or bodice-ripping. I tend to get less pissed off if I go in expecting to be belittled and ridiculed. I know, call me wacky.

So I don't know why I was so shocked to read your article. Maybe it was the level of condescension? I mean, I always expect it to be there in any sort of media coverage - but not quite so vehement. Also, I think the surprisingly even-handed New York Times piece lulled me into a state of shocked complacency.

Whenever I give one of my reader's advisory talks on the romance genre to librarians I always tell them one thing.

"If you do not take anything else away from this presentation, at the very least remember this. Do not sneer. Do not condescend. Do not talk down to romance readers. The sad truth is that they expect it. They expect people to treat them like morons. So when someone doesn't? When someone listens to them, and values their reading opinions? They remember. And you'll have an enthusiastic library patron for life. If you do condescend? Expect them to never darken your doorstep again, and they'll tell everyone they know how much you suck. You will be losing a huge potential market for your library. Remember this, and remember it well."

The same applies for newspapers, who have just been so shocked that nobody is reading their book coverage anymore. Gee, I wonder why? You've thumbed your nose at genre fiction for so long, and specifically popular romance fiction, that people have taken their book-ish interests to other venues....namely the Evil Internet, where genre fiction at large (not just romance) has exploded across the Blogosphere. We've been accepted here, and we're lovin' it baby!

But like I said earlier, it's all about choice. You're choosing to be asshats, and I'm choosing to get back to my status quo of girding my loins whenever the mainstream media gets it in their heads to talk about romance novels. The New York Times caught me with my pants down. Rest assured, it will not happen again.

Sincerely,
Little Miss Crabby Pants

Linkage Of Love

It's a day of linking love over here at the Bat Cave. First, a thanks to AztecLady for sending me the link for Reading Into The Future, a Newsweek article written by a Southfield, Michigan librarian who finds that her job now entails career counseling.

I found myself nodding my head a lot while reading - especially the part about teaching people to use the computer. How to use a mouse, how to sign up for e-mail, how to apply for jobs online. Yes, these people do exist. Believe me. Also it was nice to see an article about librarians in my home state doing good - where the economy took a long walk off a short pier years before our current national economic problems.

In the Hell Has Frozen Over department - there's Recession Fuels Readers' Escapist Urges, a well-done, even-handed article on the romance industry from none other than the New York Times. And they don't say the words "sex" or "bodice rippers" once. Not. Even. Once.

I didn't see the Four Horsemen standing at my front door this morning. Maybe they were hiding in the bushes?

Anyway, our own Jane from Dear Author is quoted and library circulation for romance novels is up. A lot of this can be filed under Well Duh! if you're a romance fan. But still, it was nice to see an article without any sneering for a change. How novel!

Tricky Dick

I'm a big fan of "library browsing." I always have a plan of attack when I go into a bookstore, but with libraries I prefer to wander aimlessly around the stacks. So the names "Howard Hunt" and "E. Howard Hunt" did ring a faint bell in the back of my librarian brain. However, silly goose that I am - I had no idea the writer was also that E. Howard Hunt.

You know, the E. Howard Hunt who orchestrated the Watergate burglary that ultimately led to President Richard Nixon's resignation. Yeah, that guy.

The interesting things you learn by reading press releases, that's all I got to say. Not only was Hunt a CIA agent and Nixon's muscle - he was apparently one hell of a writer.

He was a recipient of the Guggenheim Fellowship. Doubly impressive when you learn that he beat out two other writers for the honor. Oh, just Truman Capote and Gore Vidal. Maybe you've heard of them?

House Dick was originally published in 1961 under a pseudonym and in a grand twist of irony, tells the story of a lowly detective investigating a burglary and murder at a Washington D.C. hotel (ahem, no not that hotel). An inspired reprint from the gang over at Hard Case Crime.

And neither here nor there - I want to have babies with that cover.

I Just Can't Quit You

God help me, I still love baseball. I love the game. I love the history. I love the nostalgia. Steroids hasn't killed that love. Bud Selig hasn't killed that love. The Yankees and Red Sox trying to out spend each other hasn't killed that love. Which makes me part of the problem, but damn, I just can't quit baseball.

Today is the day gentle blog readers. Opening Day. Start of the season. Which means y'all are going to have to suffer through the occasional baseball post for the next seven months. Oh wait, I'm a Detroit Tigers fan. Six months.

Hardy har har.

It's a rumble in the Bat Cave this evening as my Tigers open up the season against My Man's Toronto Blue Jays. OK, not really "his" Blue Jays - since other than Roy "Doc" Halladay, he claims no one else on the team. And certainly today is going to be a fight to the death, with Doc getting the opening day pitching nod for the Jays - and, in all likelihood, turning my Tigers into a pack of whimpering kittens.

So, what do I think of my team this year? Well, I think we'll score runs and we certainly can't get any worse on defense than we did last year. But our pitching? The question isn't if our pitching will lose us games, it's how many games. I'm hoping our starters will do better this year (again, they couldn't get much worse!), but our bullpen is a nightmare waiting to happen. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I miss Todd Jones. And no, I'm not coming down with anything. I feel perfectly fine! But our whole pitching staff is put together on a wing and a prayer this year - and I'm just not all that convinced that they'll pull their heads out of their asses long enough to not suck as hard as they did in 2008. We've got three pitchers on the DL (including Zumaya - who I'm beginning to believe is finished. Literally, done). Bonderman's shoulder is dicey (not good - cuz the guy is a work horse) and Willis is...well...Willis. I knew it was a terrible idea to give that guy a $20+ million dollar contract, but unfortunately the Tigers GM didn't see fit to call the Bat Cave and ask my opinion.

Seriously Dave. I would have taken your call.

But I've been wrong before and I could be wrong again. At least Brandon Inge is back playing third base (where God intended) and Sheffield has been axed (even if we're still paying his salary). Hopefully Thames will get more at-bats, and there's always my crush on Curtis Granderson to keep me warm at night.

But regardless of what I think my team's chances are this year (I'm not convinced they'll finish in last place in the division (which is the popular opinion) - but they're going to have to claw their way to third), that doesn't dim the fact that this is Opening Day. And hope always springs eternal for Tigers fans on Opening Day. Boys, I might be disowning you by the All-Star break, but for now, I love you more than ever.

Until Next Year

It's probably a good thing I took two days off and marginally unplugged prior my library's literary event (you know, the one I was doing the homework reading for?). I always seem to forget what a long, exhausting day it is. Fun, interesting and lovely - but damn, exhausting.

First, let's get this out of the way right now. No, I didn't take pictures. I just didn't. I'm horrible with stuff like that. However we did have a minion running around the event snapping photos, so it should be no problem for me to steal one later.

This was our third annual event, the third year yours truly has moderated the romance panel, and the second year where I literally got all the authors on said panel. Now, I've had some good panels in the past. Lovely ladies, all of them. But this year? This year was just all kinds of awesome. Kathleen Givens, Christie Ridgway and Chris Marie Green did a fabulous job of keeping things light, keeping it moving, and just being all around awesome panel participants. Basically I just had to sit back and let them go. Made my job easy, that's for darn sure - and we even had 20 minutes for audience Q&A afterwards, which is always lovely.

I also met the equally as awesome Dorothy Howell, who was there to talk about her "debut" mystery novels. Well, Dorothy also writes for Harlequin Historical under the name Judith Stacy! Ahem, and since I'm just a teensy fan of the HH line, y'all know I literally had to dig through my keeper stash to unearth my copy of Married By Midnight so I could get it autographed.

Granted it won't be my job to wade through the evaluation forms, but I really think today went quite well. That, and I had more than one person tell me how awesome I was, and what a great moderator I am. Huh. And here I thought the committee kept giving me the romance panel because it was one less thing they had to worry about. Maybe I'm actually pretty good at this sort of thing? Who knew?

So now I have a few weeks to decompress, and then I climb right back on the hamster wheel planning for 2010. And since final attendance ended up at just over 300 bodies - it's looking like there will be a fourth annual literary event. Which is why, I am, once again going to be showing my face at the RWA conference this year. To throw myself at the feet of romance authors and beg them to come do our little event. And yes, I've already got a list going of people I want to ask. Maybe I shouldn't have admitted that publicly, on the blog. Authors might see me coming and start scurrying under tables and behind potted palms....

The Month That Was March 2009

There's something to be said for obligation reading with deadlines attached. I managed to finish 10 books during March. OK, so there were several Harlequins. And OK, so I whipped through two short stories on the 31st. Ahem. Anywho. Since several of these were contest reads, I'm going to do my final "grading" on those titles a little differently. Still, you'll get the general gist of it.

Here's how it breaks down:

Kidnapped: His Innocent Mistress by Nicola Cornick, Harlequin Historical, Regency Historical, Scotland - Despite the Harlequin-ized (read: sensational) title, this was by far and away my favorite read of the month. An old school style story that pushed all the right nostalgia buttons. Wonderful use of first person narrative, great soapy plot line, and a heroine I want to have babies with. My Grade = A-. TGTBTU Review

How To Knit A Wild Bikini by Christie Ridgway, Contemporary Romance, First book in trilogy - A fun, breezy contemporary that I enjoyed while reading, but didn't necessarily change my life. The heroine had a little too much baggage for my tastes, and the hero had some douchey tendencies, but I generally liked them, along with the secondary characters. I'll be reading Ridgway again. My Grade = B-. Full Review

Rivals For The Crown by Kathleen Givens, Historical Romantic Saga, Scotland - I liked the scope of the story, and really enjoyed one of the main female leads. The writing style didn't always work for me, mostly because the author jumped ahead in time a lot, and some of the more important (I thought) aspects of the story took place "off page;" which kind of annoyed. My Grade = C. Full Review

One Tough Avenger by Diane Pershing, Silhouette Romantic Suspense, Contest Read - Pershing has a clean, straight-forward writing style which is well-suited for the category format. The story moves along at a good clip, interesting hero and heroine. My Grade = Above Average. I'll read Pershing again. My teaser blog post.

Up Close And Personal by Joanne Rock, Harlequin Blaze, Contest Read - A heroine with sexual baggage, but it's well-done, so it didn't annoy. Great blue collar hero. Lovely San Diego setting. The suspense subplot is straight-up Lifetime Movie Of The Week though. My Grade = Above Average. I'll read Rock again. My teaser blog post.

The Cowboy And The Angel by Marin Thomas, Harlequin American, Contest Read - Nice use of Detroit as a setting. Scrumptious hero that I seriously wanted to lick head-to-toe (and no, I don't care if that's TMI). However, the social worker heroine? I can't decide if she should have been simply arrested or shot for serious gross negligence. My Grade = Below Average. However the writing style was pleasing, so I'll give Thomas a second chance. My teaser blog post.

Night Secrets by Cherry Adair, Paranormal Romantic Suspense, Contest Read - A serviceable read until the end which lacks closure. The author doesn't explain some major plot points (Why are the hero's paranormal powers malfunctioning? Why does being close to the heroine increase his strength? Etc.). It was readable, but I don't have any desire to read the other two books in this series. My Grade = Average. I'd consider reading a non-paranormal from Adair if a plot description tickles my fancy. My teaser blog post.

The Dragon Earl by Jade Lee, English Historical Romance, Contest Read - I gobbled this book up. A heroine who is borderline wanton, and a hero torn between two cultures. The author does leave unanswered questions at the end, so I didn't get all the closure I wanted, but I'm seriously looking forward to the next book in this series. My Grade = Very Good. I will definitely be reading more Jade Lee. My teaser blog post.

Flower Arrangement by Adelaide Cole, Edwardian London, Erotica, Spice Brief eBook, Short Story - OK, I get that Spice Briefs are, well, "brief" - but this one clocked in at a whopping 27 pages on my Sony Reader. It's an OK story, very much straight-up erotica (don't go looking for romance, cuz you ain't gonna find it). I'm a bit of a ho for historical erotica, hence why I picked this one up. My Grade = C. TGTBTU Review

A Night Of Wicked Delight by Joanne Rock, Medieval Historical Romance, Harlequin Historical Undone eBook, Short Story - See, I told you I'd read Rock again. An engaging medieval captive/captor story with a smokin' hot R-rated love scene. Rock avoids the pitfalls common to these types of stories. Nice forthright heroine, and a well-done wounded hero. My Grade = B. TGTBTU Review

Baseball Analogies

My latest column is up over at Romance The Blog. Today is all about unhappy readers and author curveballs. Oh, and me butchering Nora's In Death series.