Saturday, November 29, 2014

I Haz A Blog

It has been over a week since I've blogged.  It's hard to say without wading through 11 years worth of archives, but this might be a new record of inactivity.  So what have I been up to since I obviously have not been blogging?

Or reading for that matter.

Well, I'm mired in a slump.  Blogging.  Reading.  A Why The Heck Am I Still Doing This When Nobody Obviously Really Cares That I'm Here And No I'm Not Self-Absorbed Why Do You Ask? slump.  

It's been a lot of little and not-so-little events that have led to my current simmering case of ennui. Take your pick of any of the Hale fallout (the misinformation regarding the #bloggerblackout, RT nominating Hale for Book of the Year, being personally compared to the Taliban by an author who I had in my keeper stash yada, yada, yada). I've known for some time that my blog is a wee tiny lil' cog in a giant publishing machine, and at the end of the day if I vanished from the Earth tomorrow, that things would carry on as they've always carried on.

But it's one thing to know that and another to have people back-hand you across the face with it.

So yes.  I was feeling sorry for myself.  So sue me.  It happens.

Then I had two aunts pass away (Dad's sister from cancer, Mom's sister from dementia and other health issues) within 24 hours of each other.  To say I've been worried and upset for my parents is an understatement.  Coupled with that, both of these aunts were the nicest, most giving women you would ever have met. I hope heaven does exist, because if ever two women deserved heaven it was my two aunts.

And work.  Which is actually going great - it's just been really busy.  Long hours, lots to do, and after I hit the yoga studio (yes, I'm back on the yoga train) two nights during the week I'm a mentally exhausted heap that needs to be scraped off the Bat Cave carpet.

Please pass the cheese, I think that might be all of the whine.

I know I need to make changes around here.  Mostly for my own sanity.  I'm just not sure how to do that.  I think for the time being I'm going to stop beating myself over the Giant ARC Pile That Can Be Seen From Space and just get to stuff when I get to it.  Then I think I'm going to try to find a way to love books again.  Now I did order several ebooks during Harlequin's Black Friday sale - and that helped.  But I also need to read something really great - which hello, I know I have great books waiting for me in the Giant ARC Pile That Can Be Seen From Space, so that's not a problem.  I'm also going to try to make a more concerted effort to comment on other blogs more.  I love it when people comment on my blog, I need to return the favor.

I need to find My People again.  I know you're all out there.  I think we just lost each other for a tiny bit.  Hey, it's understandable.  There's been a lot of unpleasantness flying around of late.  In our tiny space of the Interwebs, not to mention outside current events, add a dash of holiday madness, and is it any wonder we're all tempted to fill some sand bags and hunker down in our personal bunkers?

I'm going to try to pull my head out of the sand.  I'm going to try to find my space again.  Because frankly?  It kind of stinks feeling like this.  

I'm kinda over it.

26 comments:

lbgregg said...

((hugs)) I am your people. I understand completely.

Keishon said...

Take as much time as you need Wendy. We aren't going anywhere.

Brie said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Wendy. I'm sending you a bunch of virtual hugs to you and yours.

I'm also suffering from a strong case of the blogging meh, and what I hate the most is that all the crap also affected my reading, because I've always been an inconsistent blogger, so blogging once an month isn't new, but not reading anything in weeks? I can't remember the last time that happened. But I'm slowly getting my mojo back, so I hope to end the year on a high note.

Take all the time you need to recover and don't force it, though. Like Keishon said, we'll be here ;-)

Lynne Connolly said...

I'm still here, hanging on, writing and writing.

Lori said...

My condolences on the loss of your aunts. I'm sorry that you and your family are going through this tough time.

I'm also sorry that book-related things are getting you down. I know it doesn't help much, but anyone who compares book bloggers to the Taliban has shown the world the she's a total idiot and ought to be ashamed of herself for saying that to anyone, least of all you. FWIW, I'd care if you disappeared from the internet, but I absolutely support whatever changes you feel like you need to make for yourself.

Tracy Smith said...

I am so sorry for the losses your family has experienced.

azteclady said...

(((Wendy)))

I for one would be quite sad if you quit blogging. However, it's most important that you take however long you need so that you are back in a place where blogging is something you enjoy doing--however often or seldom you do do it.

However corny the sentiment, we do love you, Wendy.

Lori said...

Wendy, sending lots and lots of love your way. I'm so sorry you lost both your aunts like that. How awful.

As for blogging and reading, I can completely relate. Sometime it will cone back to you. I'm still waiting for the blog bug, but, well, yeah.

Hang in there, take care of your folks, and pop back when you're ready.

Bona Caballero said...

Sorry for your loss, my heart is with you. Literature has always been a refuge for me in bad times. I can't even imagine a moment without a book in my hands.
Please, don't stop writing this blog, it's one of the very few that I follow, precisely because you are independent, honest & candid. You're one of those lighthouses that shines in the darkness created by the publishing industry.

Helena said...

Any one of these events would be quite sufficient; taken altogether I'm surprised you are blogging at all. I would miss you if you didn't, but I hate it that not blogging made you feel guilty. You should only do it when you want to.

I applaud your new approach to the TBR pile. Just read what you want when you want! If that feels too unstructured, allow yourself to do it for December at least.

Christine Rimmer said...

Wendy! Write when you want, read only what you want--and talk about it here! I have loved your blog 4ever and wish to continue doing so. So sorry about the loss of your aunts.

Miss Bates said...

May your aunties memories be eternal and may your family be comforted.

I understand what you're writing about here ... and I've only blogged for about a year and a half. Blogging, like work, family, marriage, and friendship, goes through stages, dips and peaks. I guess we have to ride the wave, or let it carry us, sometimes we go under. But know that I've loved your blog forever, and it was and is one of the few that I still read. That being said, it's important that you take time to care for yourself and your family. I know you'll be back and we'll be here for when you're ready and happy to be blogging again.

nath said...

Hey Wendy! Sorry about your two aunts :( May they rest in peace.

This year was a year to forget in blogland in my opinion. Hopefully, everyone will be like your and pull their heads out of the sand. I'm going to try, that's for sure. Plus, I have ultra-motivation in 2015 - RWA! But seriously, don't pressure yourself with anything.

Nikki said...

Oh, Wendy, I am so sorry for your losses. May you be comforted by the love of your friends.
I would surely miss you--you are the one blogger who makes me feel like a real person, if you know what I mean. Take however much time you need to regroup. Have a restful December.

Jennifer said...

Wendy, I'm so sorry about your aunts, and hope your family is coping and able to enjoy special memories together. Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.

Rowena said...

I'm sorry to hear about your Aunts, Wendy. That's never an easy thing to go through.

Hugs!

I'm not going anywhere so take all the time you need. :)

willaful said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your losses.

I think the sort of blogging we do is so personal and from the heart, that it's easily disrupted by events in our lives or by ugliness in the genre. It's like... being an ice cream taster and finding a slug in your rocky road.

Marguerite Kaye said...

I'm so very sorry to hear about your losses, adding my virtual hugs to everyone elses. As to the blog, sometimes you just need to take a step back, hide under the duvet and try to remember all the good reasons why you do it. And then come back again fighting when your ready. x

PK the Bookeemonster said...

I had a two-part blog for a while. My main blog is just a short "hi, I'm here" kind of thing so my mother won't call daily. :) For a while, I did a current events blog because I felt an urge to point out the stupid stuff going on in the world. I enjoyed it and enjoyed watching my reader numbers climb. But it took up too much of my time and became a "have to" instead of a "want to" because I felt I didn't want to let anybody down. I had to remind myself that it is MY life and time that was at stake, no one else's. So. Take care of you first. As someone else mentioned, only read what you want read when you want to read it. Though my first love is crime fiction, your window into the romance world is lovely and I and your other readers will always check in with you. Don't try to be anything other than yourself because we don't need or want you to be anything else. Your humor always shines through, I love your insights, so read to your heart's content and share when you wanna. Life flows and changes and is never static. What worked before doesn't have to be set in stone. (hmmm, can I think of more cliches?). You get the jist of our messages here. :)

Hilcia said...

I'm so sorry for your loss Wendy. It's not easy to place something like that aside and just keep going. ((Hugs))

The ugly side of blogging is something else altogether. After all is said and done, it leaves that bitter aftertaste and disappointment -- I always find it disheartening to say the least. But, I am so glad you are looking for your 'space' again. We are here.

PS: I'm also in a terrible slump but looking for that one fantastic romance that will take me away without questions or caveats. I haven't found it. We'll just have to keep looking. :)

Keira Soleore said...

Looks like my earlier comment got lost. Trying again...

Wendy, I may not comment here but I always read. Your words have meaning for me. It doesn't matter when you post--when you do, I'm reading it. So, yes, if you stopped blogging completely, I'd miss it. So take your time and blog when it feels fun for you.

Darlynne said...

Wendy, I have always enjoyed reading your comments at other sites and only recently started coming around here.

Do what soothes your spirit and heart, whatever gives you solace; let the next steps be for and about you. And thank you for being a consistently cogent and thoughtful voice wherever I've encountered you.

niche-ob said...

Take your time to rediscover your joy. People who can even consider a comparison to Taliban show they have no sense of balance or understanding the world.

lostinagreatbook.com said...

Oh Wendy, I'm so sorry for your losses. What a crappy November you had. I think it was pretty blah for everyone, myself included. Like you, I'm overwhelmed by the amount I have to read, and while I know I'll likely love most of it, I just can't seem to motivate myself to do it. I've given myself a pass on the challenges, am closing my eyes to the memes and just ... reading. Ignore those who would bring you down or insult you - you don't write or read for them, you do it for yourself. I love what you write, and while I don't comment as often as I should (and I'll try to correct that), I always appreciate your input (and yes, your snark). Keep going! We would miss you if you weren't here!!

Wendy said...

I wanted to thank everyone for the kind words - they really have meant a lot. I'm slowly trying to pull myself up - just in time for the crush of the holidays. I'm finding my reading mojo, although "time" is a bit of a precious commodity at the moment. I'm hoping I'm back into somewhat of a normal routine soon and that the blogging gods deliver me some divine inspiration for good posts :)

Amber said...

I hear ya. My blog hasn't had a review posted since October. I missed the entire month of November. I have read exactly 2 books in that time. I have a huge case of the blahs which, when combined with mom-ish obligations just meant I had no real leisure time to read, to blog, to do anything. I'm back on the reading train, sort of, and working my way back to blogging. But it's not easy.