Port Mortuary: Well hello there Wendy.
PM: I see you've ordered copies of me for your library system.
Me: So? I order a lot of books I'll never read for my library system. This does not make you special.
PM: Awwww, why do you have to be like that sweetie?
Me: Don't call me sweetie.
PM: C'mon Wendy. After all these years? After all we've been through together?
Me: Listen cupcake, we broke up. I'm moving on. You can't expect me to take you back with some sweet words and the faint promise that you'll try to do better.
PM: But Wendy, you've ordered me for work. Would it really be too much to ask for a second chance? All you have to do is put your name on the waiting list....
Me: Ha! Second chance? More like third, fourth, fifth etc. chance! No, we broke up.
PM: Awwww, c'mon baby. Don't be like that....
Me: Listen, I got tired of you taking me for granted. This was a one-sided relationship, and frankly, I deserve better after devoting my reading life to you since I was 16 years old. No, I'm through. I can't keep coming back to you over and over again only to have my heart broken. I just can't take the abuse anymore.
PM: But Wendy, I can change! I promise, I'll do better. All you have to do is put your name on that waiting list. It's not like I'm asking you to buy your own copy of me. Just one more chance. One more teensy, weensy chance. Is that too much to ask for? After all these years? After all the enjoyment I've given you over the years? Please Wendy, I can do better!
(For the record, my name is still not on the waiting list for a work copy. I'm trying to remain strong. I am tough. I am resilient. I am woman, hear me roar! Oh hell, I'm a marshmallow and we all know it. But dang, must resist. Must. Resist! I told myself I was done, and I really mean it! Uh, I think. I'm pretty sure anyway. Damn.)