Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Wendy Tries To Find Her Will Power

Port Mortuary: Well hello there Wendy.

Me: Shit.

PM: I see you've ordered copies of me for your library system.

Me: So? I order a lot of books I'll never read for my library system. This does not make you special.

PM: Awwww, why do you have to be like that sweetie?

Me: Don't call me sweetie.

PM: C'mon Wendy. After all these years? After all we've been through together?

Me: Listen cupcake, we broke up. I'm moving on. You can't expect me to take you back with some sweet words and the faint promise that you'll try to do better.

PM: But Wendy, you've ordered me for work. Would it really be too much to ask for a second chance? All you have to do is put your name on the waiting list....

Me: Ha! Second chance? More like third, fourth, fifth etc. chance! No, we broke up.

PM: Awwww, c'mon baby. Don't be like that....

Me: Listen, I got tired of you taking me for granted. This was a one-sided relationship, and frankly, I deserve better after devoting my reading life to you since I was 16 years old. No, I'm through. I can't keep coming back to you over and over again only to have my heart broken. I just can't take the abuse anymore.

PM: But Wendy, I can change! I promise, I'll do better. All you have to do is put your name on that waiting list. It's not like I'm asking you to buy your own copy of me. Just one more chance. One more teensy, weensy chance. Is that too much to ask for? After all these years? After all the enjoyment I've given you over the years? Please Wendy, I can do better!

Me: Shit.

(For the record, my name is still not on the waiting list for a work copy. I'm trying to remain strong. I am tough. I am resilient. I am woman, hear me roar! Oh hell, I'm a marshmallow and we all know it. But dang, must resist. Must. Resist! I told myself I was done, and I really mean it! Uh, I think. I'm pretty sure anyway. Damn.)


Lynette said...

LOL! While I never read PC, I'm like that with Janet Evanovitch. Though I'm proud of myself. With the last book I checked it out and only read a couple pages before I returned it unfinished!

Christine Merrill said...

I looked at that cover, and thought, "There is no way I'd be able to resist at least thumbing through PET Mortuary."


Oh. Well, then. Time to clean my glasses.

Viv Arend said...

LOL. It seems many of us have this syndrome in our lives.

Us 'Burnt Book Babes' must stay strong and NOT give in. You'll only taste the tears again of bitter disappointment--because you know what? If this one is better? The ones that came before will bug you even more!!

azteclady said...

*pat on shoulder* there, there, you can do this *pat* you can resist, I know you can.

Plus, what Viv Arend sez

JamiSings said...

Just take a deep breath and remind yourself that all of Cornwell's latest books have been -

1: Bigoted against fat people - especially fat women - to a point where I next expect Pat to be burning scales on fat womens' lawns and wearing a shirt that reads "THIN POWER."

2: Scarpetta never ages. Everyone else does. She doesn't.

3: Bigoted also against mothers. Mothers are responsible for all serial killers. Fat mothers are so evil even Satan is afraid of them.

And don't forget Sexually Confused Lucy. Now she's a lesbian, now she's not, oops - she's a lesbian again.

Probably in this book Lucy's fucking womens' corpses. So she'll be a necrophiliac lesbian.

Wendy said...

Jami: If I thought there was a possibility that Lucy would become a necrophiliac lesbian nothing would be able to hold me back from this book! Nothing! Muwhahahahahaha!

Everybody Else: I hope like hell an ARC doesn't float in here at work. Otherwise? Any shred of will power I have will go bye-bye. Maybe I'll be safe though. I think the last Cornwell ARC I got my hands on was for Book Of The Dead....which was several books ago.....

Marg said...

Stay strong Wendy! Stay strong.

PK the Bookeemonster said...

You deserve better. And there are better out there. Walk away and let the past be past.

nath said...

I am behind you 100% Wendy! You can do it LOL.

CindyS said...

You can do it!

But I won't judge you if you cave ;)


Joy said...

You know I don't get Cromwell. I read one of her earlier books and liked it OK but never got hooked. I read one of the middle books and knew it couldn't be the same writer since it had an entirely different tone, voice, everything but confusingly the same character names with radically differnt roles. Nay, I thought, I must have been confusing two similar authors. Then I got her latest for Christmas. It was SO CONFUSING. What the heck happened to these characters! He was a happily married colleague/mentor then he's dead and now he's come back and is married to her?!? The rebellious teen is now a lesbian, millionaire employing them both?!? With more "toys" than Donald Trump. I give up.

I won't even browse this book at Borders. I can't face decades of plot twists and god only knows how many not too well written books to get up to speed on fairly repulsive and unbelievable characters. Wendy, resist at all costs. It isn't worth your time to wade through this mess.

Heidi said...

I'm sorry, but somewhere this series jumped the shark. Maybe it's the werewolf man still living. Maybe it's her strange fascination. I don't know, but it happened. I tried, Patricia, I tried. And then Lucy got weird(er). I'm sorry. The whole coming over in the freighter? The smell? I just can't take it anymore. I'm covering my eyes. If someone reads it, just one word will do. Meh, or YUCK!

Renee said...

I can so laugh at you. At least, until the next LKH Merry Gentry book comes out. :-P

Lisa said...

I'm with you on this one. I read the post in the link where you broke up with PC originally and, let me just say, it resonated with my soul. Stay strong.

Big Sis said...

Remember, if you read this book, that's time out of your life that you will NEVER be able to get back.