Thursday, April 22, 2010

NFL Draft Widow

For those of you who have a life, you're most likely unaware that the NFL Draft is this weekend. You know how I feel about romance novels? Well, that's how My Man feels about the NFL Draft. He loves it. Adores it. Lives for it every year. And every year I brace myself for the inevitable:

1) In their infinite wisdom the NFL has decided to stretch the draft out over three days. Three days! Round 1 tonight. Rounds 2 and 3 tomorrow. Rounds 4 through 7 on Saturday. I hate this. My Man hates this. The NFL is doing it because they're greedy frickin' a-holes with dollar signs flashing before their eyes. And since there's a core of the football watchin' population that lurves the Draft, they're pretty much stuck watching it how the NFL wants it delivered - so this three day experiment will likely score big ratings and will be here to stay.

2) By Day Two My Man will be cursing out the bone-headed Talking Heads for talking about the same five players over and over again. My Man, being a Draft-junkie, likes to hear about the guys nobody has ever heard of. The players that will get drafted in rounds four and lower. Instead the Talking Heads will keep up a steady stream of inane chatter about the Top 5 picks, which will now drag on over the course of three long days.

3) The Buffalo Bills will have a horrible draft and will very likely do something incredibly stupid. This year, my money is on them drafting Tim Tebow. I asked My Man what would happen should Buffalo do this and his exact words were, "I'm done. I'm out. That's it. If they draft Tebow that means they're listening to Jim Kelly. ::shudder::"

You heard it here first folks. I figure if I blog about it, then he has to follow through, assuming Buffalo does lose their minds and draft a guy who is as much of an NFL quarterback as I am (Ha!). I told My Man that this could be good for his soul. His relationship with the Bills has been entirely one-sided for entirely too long. He's loved them. He's devoted his life to them. He's stood by them. And what has he gotten in return?

Nothing but heartache.

Of course I'm a Detroit Tigers fan, so I probably shouldn't be talking smack. Hello pot, meet kettle.

So that's what I'll be doing this weekend. The usual chores, hopefully some reading, all while listening to My Man yell at the Talking Heads and cursing out The Bills.

Fun times at the Bat Cave.

(I kid though. I like watching bits of the Draft. Just not the entire weekend. After a while the Talking Heads get to me. And simmer down Tebow fans. If this kid turns out to be anything other than happy shiny off-the-field PR I'll be the first to line up to eat crow. But in my opinion? I won't be dining at your table anytime...well...ever.)


Amy said...

Seriously -- Tim Tebow? Is he seriously thinking of contending?

CJ Spiller (Clemson) got drafted tonight in some outfit or another.

And there ends my limited knowledge on the whole subject. I'm watching hockey (Pens vs Senators - 3rd OT for Pete's sake!); next week we'll talk about that SMALL BIT of brain cell I'm trying to wake up.

Phyl said...

All hail the almighty dollar. I remember when ESPN first broadcast the draft and only diehard football junkies tuned in. And geez, there's playoff hockey and playoff basketball, not to mention baseball on at the same time. The Pens/Ottawa game had 3 OTs. Kind of a crowded night of sports viewing, that's for sure.

And I see you're safe. Tebow to the Broncos. HA! They can have him.

Anonymous said...

I just googled "NFL Draft Widow" because I just can't take this, anymore, and I know someone out there could empathize. And here you are. THANK YOU for your blog, and for writing the words that have been locked inside my increasingly-annoyed brain all week.

If my husband wants to remain married, he will live at his mother's house for the ENTIRE WEEK, next year.

PS. We (Denver) got Tebow. I swear I'll stab myself if I have to hear this poor young man's name one more time. Is HE as sick of this as we are?

Wendy said...

Amy: Buffalo ended up drafting Spiller, which My Man and I are pretty happy about. It'll be a nice change of pace to have an actual offensive threat on our team.

Phyl: I watched some of the Draft, and then switched over to my baseball game. I don't know how they managed to pull it off, but my Tigers ended up taking 2 out of 4 against the Angels.

And for the life of me I cannot figure out what the Broncos are doing. They now have Kyle Orton, Brady Quinn and Tim Tebow.

Anon: You could also move a TV (and/or radio) into the garage and banish him out there next year - LOL.

And sad to say, you have not heard the last of Tim Tebow's name. You should probably start bracing yourself for the further media onslaught. My advice is to make yourself a nice cocktail, put a cool washcloth on your forehead. Maybe break out the Jello shots if it gets really bad....

Hang in there!

Liza said...

I thought the Bills had a pretty good pick and the announcers seemed happy too. Glad y'all are happy too.

So proud of my Titans and their pick. We really needed someone strong on defense and I think we got it with Derrick Morgan.

Jennifer Estep said...

As a Bills fan, I feel your man's pain. If only they could clone Jim Kelly and Marv Levy from back in the day. Sigh.

I'm kind of ambivalent about Spiller, mainly because I don't know that much about him. Unless he turns out to be a Chris Johnson-type back or they go to a more wildcat-type offense, they may have been better off addressing other needs. I'm interested to see who they get for Lynch and if they trade up to get Clausen or McCoy later on today.

Wendy said...

Liza: Other than Denver reaching for Tebow (and holy cow - the Ravens got THREE later round picks for that deal) I thought the first-round picks were pretty strong across the board.

Jennifer: Spiller is the kind of explosive back that every time he gets the ball he could knock out 50yards. Also, he's a great receiving back and can return kicks/punts. He'll be a good compliment to Freddy Jackson - and the prevailing theory is that yeah, Lynch gets traded.

But, we still need a QB. I wonder if the Bills limp along another year with Edwards (*sigh*) and wait for next year's draft - which is supposedly going to be stronger in that area. Also - our defense. Oy vei! That's a 2-year rebuilding project, at least IMHO.