Monday, February 23, 2009

My Own Private Oscar Party

Lord help me, I love watching the Oscars. Even though I think the Academy has been extremely out of touch the last few years (I'm still not over the crap-fest that was last year's best picture nominees). My Man would rather be boiled in oil than watch any type of awards show (he's an equal opportunity hater), which means I spend Oscar night hanging out in our bedroom watching the ceremony on The Other TV. This year it was me, a frozen pizza and a box of 75% off Valentine's Day candy I scored at the grocery store. Seriously, all I needed was a bottle of cheap wine to complete the night. Here's my rundown of the show:

I thought Hugh Jackman did a nice job. He was charming, funny and easy on the eyes. I liked the funny moments with Ben Stiller, Steve Martin, Tina Fey, Jack Black and the Pineapple Express boys. In theory, I liked that they brought out five previous winners to introduce the nominees in the acting category. I liked seeing Joel Grey. I liked seeing Sophia Loren. But the introductions were a little too ass-kissie and it slowed down the show. Best speeches of the night go to Kate Winslet and Sean Penn. It took forever to get to the big awards, but they were worth the wait.

I seriously, seriously, seriously could have done without the dippy musical number in the middle of the show. Besides the fact that it was beyond pointless, I'm so sick of seeing Beyonce everywhere I could just scream. The show is already long to begin with, there's really no need for a pointless musical number in the middle of it to make it even longer.

Now on to the most important stuff. What I thought of the clothes!

I'm like one of four women in this country who actually likes Angelina Jolie. She has a habit of dressing kinda blah for the red carpet, and this dress is no exception. It's the earrings that get me. I want to have babies with those earrings.

In my Oh My God She's Not A Train Wreck category, we have Marisa Tomei. Let's be brutally honest here, she's not exactly known for dressing for success, and this awards season is no exception. But this isn't bad. Certainly I'm not in love with this dress, but it could have been sooooo much worse. Truly.

Oh Viola Davis. Gold lame'? Honestly? But Taraji P. Henson! Oh. My. Gawd. She was my best dressed for the night. The dress was pretty, that necklace kicked ass, the hair was fantastic and the make-up! Every actress in Hollywood needs to find out who does her facials, because I would kill for her complexion. Girlfriend looks like she's never had a zit in her life. Ever.

Best looking guy of the night was Robert Downey Jr. I'm excited about his upcoming Sherlock Holmes movie, but in most of the photos I've seen of him recently he looks quite old and tired. Like his previous lifestyle had finally caught up with him. I'm not sure what he's had done (Botox? Facials?), but he looks postively rejuvenated here. Fantastic!

Who you callin' a bitch? I love the Queen! The dress is nice, but I'm really only putting her picture up here because she kicks ass. U.N.I.T.Y baby!

Worst dressed woman of the night for me was Jessica Biel. It looks like she went out to dinner before she hit the red carpet, decided she had nothing to wear, and stole the table cloth to wrap around herself.

My worst dressed man goes to Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Frankly Mickey Rourke is too easy of a choice, and everyone expects him to show up on the red carpet looking like a deranged pirate from Hell. But Phillip? Such a good actor, I adore him to bits, but what the hell is he wearing on his head? Instead of the after parties, did he hang out on L.A.'s skid row?


Kati said...

*rubs hands together*

OK. I'm IN!

Well, not to be the voice of dissent here, but I freaking LOVED the musical number. But hell, I love any movie where someone spontaneously bursts into song. And this number featured three of my favorite things: movie musical music, Baz Luhrman and Hugh Jackman. S'all good to me.

And I have to also disagree with you on Viola Davis's dress. I thought it complemented the almost purple hue of her skin perfectly. It's not my favorite of the awards show dresses she's worn, but keeping in mind that the woman is 45, and looks about 35, I thought she looked terrific.

I have to agree on Marisa Tomei. She can be a fashion train wreck. I didn't LOVE her dress, but I didn't hate it either.

Overall, I thought this red carpet was extremely meh. The fashion was serviceable, but not eye popping.

I loved the show, although 3 hours and 23 minutes is too long for any awards show. But I thought Hugh did a nice job. He's not my favorite host ever (Billy Crystal and Steve Martin are my two faves), but I thought they did a good job of exploiting his strengths. And the man rocks a tuxedo like nobody's business.

Wow. Well, that was a lot to say, huh? LOL!

Lori said...

Mocking the red carpet clothing choices is one of my favorite annual traditions. When I lived in LA I had a great party to go to (if I was still there I would have invited you). Now that I'm in DC I'm on my own and it's just not the same.

Jessica Biel's dress was a serious WTF? The best part about it was the Fug Girls comments

I'm now dying to find a way to work the phrase "Do not mock me Tedious Garment" into conversation.

M. said...

I also used the words funny and charming in my blogpost about Mr. Australia! Amen on Beyonce overexposure (COULD NOT believe they brought her back AGAIN after she sang all the nominated best songs a couple of years ago - are there no other singers in Hollywood?). Angelina's bling was gorgeous (did you see the matching ring?), I'm going to challenge you on worst dressed female of the night (two words: miley cyrus), was I the only one who thought Queen Latifah and Reese Witherspoon had a twilight moment thing going on with variations of the same dress (colors/odd holdy uppy ribbon things)? I think I liked Freida Pinto's look the best last night - what a beautiful and poised young woman. I've adored Kate Winslet for so long, it's such a relief she finally made it. Her speech was very genuine.

Robert Downey did look good, I just wish all the nominees in his category (who surely knew they didn't need to waste time composing acceptance speeches) could have stood up to applaud at the inevitable outcome. Just saying.

I havent' seen any of the big 5 yet (being in the stage of life of attendant for Wall E and Kung Fu Panda watchers), but I liked the sentiments of the Slumdog winners so much I'll see that one first.

Kati said...

I'm going to challenge you on worst dressed female of the night (two words: miley cyrus)

M. - I remarked today that Miley's dress looked to me like she picked it up at the gift shop at the Grand Ole Opry. :wink:

Wendy said...

Kati: I liked the opening musical number, because it had a point. The middle one just seemed like unnecessary filler to me, and ugh - Beyonce!

I liked the cut of Viola's dress - but ugh, gold lame'. Too much of a disco flashback nightmare for me.

Lori: I was going to pick Beyonce as my worst dressed woman, but like Mickey Rourke that just seemed way too easy. She's always wearing some weird nightmare either she or her mama designed.

M.: I did see Angelina's ring and loved it too! I really liked the color of Freida's dress. One of the few stand-out colors of the night. I love Kate Winslet, but thought her dress was kinda boring. I loved the bright blue one she wore at the SAGs (I think?). I haven't seen any of the big 5 pictures yet either. Sigh.

Kati and M. - I was trying to ignore the fact that Miley was even there LOL. I didn't like her dress, but didn't have quite as strong a reaction to it as I did Jessica Biel's.

Lori said...

See I don't think Miley counts in the worst dressed category. She's what, 16? The dress was not good, but it was big & twirly & sparkly so I get exactly how it happened.

Also, as long as all the vital bits are covered I just can not pick on a 16 year old about her clothes. If I did the God of Fashion would smite me for being a big old hypocrite. I grew up in the 80's and when I was 16 I wore stuff that makes Miley's dress look like Angelina Jolie's.

C2 said...

I am so with you on your worsts - why was Jessica Biel even there, I ask you? And more important, what was that thing on Philip Seymour Hoffman's head? Did he miss the part about the Oscars being a formal occasion? A toboggan is not formal, sir. Unless you're planning a black-tie quickie mart robbery afterwards.

Cheryl St.John said...

I with you on the past winners presenting. It was nice to see them, but I would rather have seen clips of the nominees in their roles! They totally ditched featuring the important ones.

Lil Sis said...

I still don't have a TV. I missed the whole damn thing. :( About an hour and a half into it I realized I could have programmed my DVR from my computer probably. :( Sigh - I missed BOTH the Globes and Oscars this year - that has not happened in a really really really long time. I might weep. :(

Rosie said...

I loved the former Oscar winners introducing the nominees. It was wonderful seeing them all walk at stage together.

The musical number in the middle wasn't bad, just unnecessary.

My sister and I talk and text each other throughout the show. Best line? My BIL when he said Jessica Biel looked like a human towel rack in that dress.

Oh and I didn't read all the comments, but what about SJP popping out of her dress and her red synthetic Barbie hair? Anyone??

Kwana said...

Wonderful recap. I am so with you on all points especially the Beyonce number! Although I did not love Marissa's dress. It's slowly growing on me.

Wendy said...

Lori: I've been more than slightly horrified to see shoulder pads coming out during Fashion Week. For the love of God, why must we travel down that road again?

C2: Hey, maybe he was going to rob a 7/11 before hitting skid row? That would explain it.

Cheryl: Yeah, maybe have the past winners do a brief intro and then show a clip. I like seeing the clips and missed them this year.

Lil Sis: I missed the Globes this year, but they're never "must see" for me like the Oscars are.

Rosie: SJP's dress and cleavage were because her husband wanted some place to set his drink. Tee Hee.

Kwana & Rosie: The Oscars always seem to run over, so really shouldn't they look for ways to keep the show moving along? Why, why, why the pointless musical number in the middle of the show? Blah. Of course I also think they should dump some of the smaller awards (animated short? documentary short? Does anyone other than the nominees really care about these?) from the BIG show and do those during a smaller, non-televised ceremony.

Kristie (J) said...

I didn't watch the Oscars - well most of it anyway. I did see Heath Ledger and the touching moment when he won. So I didn't see all the dresses - but I agree with you on your choice for the best one. She does look great doesn't she? But the one I think I liked the best? Natalie Portman. I just loved her dress. And while I didn't see all of it, I thought the Ben Stiller bit was hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, but the second Sean Penn's speech went political, I was disgusted. He can say/think anything he wants on his OWN time but on a worldwide TV broadcast, shut the 'eff up Spicoli! The Academy Awards are NEVER the time to promote your personal agenda.