Saturday, August 9, 2008

Lil' Sis Throws Down

Disclaimer: I have not read Breaking Dawn, and if the fact that I'm currently slogging through Twilight on audio is any indication, I doubt I ever will. But my Lil' Sis, The High School English Teacher, is madly obsessed with this series. I'm surprised girlfriend hasn't rented a car, driven to Forks, bitch slapped Bella, and shown Edward how fabulous a real woman can be. But I digress.

Ring, ring

The Boyfriend: Wendy, it's your sister!

Me: Hey chica, what's up?

Lil' Sis: OMG. I had to call you. I know you don't read this series, and likely don't care, but I had to bitch to someone and knew you'd understand.

Me: Ohhhhhkay.

Lil' Sis: Stephenie Meyer has just crapped all over her legacy. I can't believe what she has done with this book. I am so glad I grabbed a copy at school and didn't spend $20 on this stinky pile of poo.

Me: Yeah, I've seen some rumblings online that people aren't happy with it.

Lil' Sis: Cripes, some of my girls are writing better fan fiction than this! I've read 500 pages and had to stop. I only have 200 to go and could slam dunk this thing before bed, but I have to take a break, that's how bad it is. She has a couple of natural endings in this story but she just keeps going on and on and on. Ugh, and the melodrama! And did I mention how terrible the writing is?

Me: Yeah, I think you might have mentioned that.

Lil' Sis: OMG, you know what this book is? It's Godfather Part III! You know how when you watch The Godfather and you think, "Damn, this is a great movie." Then you watch Godfather Part II and you think, "Damn skippy it's better! I thought the first one was great but this one is amazing!" And then you get the steaming pile of crap that is Godfather Part III. Yeah. Sophia Coppola having sex with her cousin. I don't care if your cousin is a hot piece like Andy Garcia, you do not have sex with your cousin!

Me: Can I quote you on that? I never can pass up blog fodder.

Lil' Sis: Yeah. I still have 200 pages, but Breaking Dawn is Godfather Part III. Totally.

My sister, she amuses me.


little alys said...

So glad you had the disclaimer because this is one hilarious conversation. :D
Hope you're feeling better! *hugs*

Joy N. Hensley said...

Wow, I'm completely in agreement with your sister (I'm a hs English teacher, too, by the way!). Check out my review of the books at my

I love your blog, btw. I think this is my first comment, but I love it!

Alie said...

See, I'm a bit torn. Sure the writing could have been better, but I digress on that. I'm glad she gave us a happy ending, but I could have lived without certain parts of it. Sometimes it's much better to pretend to know what's going to happen in your own mind ;)

It's kind of like the end of certain romance novels where they give you an epilogue and tell you the entire rest of the characters' lives. That's what Breaking Dawn is, to me at least.

Katiebabs a.k.a KB said...

Yup, I agree, BD is the Godfather III, Rocky V and every bad sequel I can think of.
Such a disappointment :(

CindyS said...

So it's my Matrix III or the movie I can't and won't retrieve the name of.

I feel bad for the fans. I haven't read the first book although I do own it.


Lil Sis said...

I finished it yesterday. Yep, steaming pile of poo. It's like some teen girl wrote it. It's way too gory in parts to be a I'm not sure what they will do now that Twilight is a movie. And I have issue with some of Bella's choices - I think teen girls will take it the wrong way...but I digress because I don't want to spoil anything.

It did have a happy ending - I will give it that...but that's the best I can say. Honestly, I was such a huge fan of the first book...I'm feeling guilty for hating this one. But well, I think what happened was she just rushed it. She should have pulled a Rowling and taken a few years to write. Sure, I would hate waiting, but it would be worth the wait! :)

JamiSings said...

Makes me glad I've stayed away from the whole series. I prefer Fred Saberhagen's Dracula Series. Especially since it has a couple of Sherlock Holmes crossovers.