Thursday, July 3, 2008

Timing Is Everything

This is a pretty juvenile thing to whine about, given that I know many others with more serious problems right now, but hey it's my blog. I figure that gives me the inalienable right to whine like a petulant three-year-old child.

I came home from work yesterday to discover a lovely notice from my apartment complex. Apparently, it is now part of the California State Fire Codes that "multi-family" dwellings, such as my apartment building, are no longer allowed to grill on their patios. No charcoal, no propane, no nothing. If we do not remove our grill post haste we could be in violation of our lease which means, penalties or my personal favorite....eviction.

Never mind that you pay your rent on time, don't harass people, don't leave your dog's shit lying in the middle of the sidewalk, and have never bounced your rent check. You have a grill on your patio! Be gone!

Reflect for a moment on how happy The Boyfriend was to get this bit of news. Separating a red-blooded American male from his grill? Yeah, he's been a peach.

I love the timing of this. Right before the July 4th holiday. Way to go asswipes.

I did some digging today, and sure enough, the state of California has been cracking down on this. I understand why they're doing it, what with half of northern California burning down at the moment. Still, it galls me that I can't grill because I refuse to live above my means and buy a non-scary, non-dilapidated house for half a million dollars and because a few assholes every year leave their grill unattended and start fires.

So where does that leave me? I did some investigating online. Electric grills are OK. Grills of all sorts are fine if 1) your patio is made of something that won't burn down, like concrete or 2) you have a sprinkler system on your patio. Also, grills with teeny propane tanks (like those used for camping) appear to be OK, although I can't seem to get a solid answer on that.


I still haven't a clue what I'll end up doing about this (past the whining of course). Probably buying a stove top grill. Which doesn't solve the problem of the unhappy man I have to live with who thinks the only way to cook meat is over an open flame. Joy.

On the bright side, we literally ran out of propane this past weekend. Maybe that was a warning sign from the gods?


Joy said...

Well, I understand they have freestanding George Forman grills (electric) that let you man at least look as if he were grilling without the danger of burning down California. Yeah, its the pits but becoming common here in Illinois for towns to implement that same law. AND, as you well know, we get much fewer grilling days than southern Cal. so we prize them even more. Sigh. It's unAmerican, thats what it is and part of the dissolution of values to deprive a man of his grill just because he might burn down the house. Happy grill-less fourth.

charleneteglia said...

I understand the frustration, but a recent news item here has me understanding why this sort of crackdown is going on. A woman's propane tank for her grill overheated thanks to the heatwave and blew up...taking two houses with it. Makes me glad we haven't gotten our tank filled for the summer.

azteclady said...

Charlene, holy OUCH.

Wendy, I feel your pain on behalf of the soon-to-be grill-less man.

Rosie said...

In parts of California the fire has little to do with it. In Northern CA and the Central Valley it's about the pollutants grilling with charcoal and other treated woods or products put in the air where they grow things like the fruit & veggie we eat the grapes for the multi-million dollar wine industry.

That applies to everyone not just multi-family dwellings. Although here? We have people who really like to flame up... it's ridiculous. This is totally a case of a few ruining it for the majority.

Wendy said...

Joy: George Forman is out. No open flame = NOT grilling in The Boyfriend's eyes. He says we might as well "iron" our food. Sigh. At this point I'm thinking we'll invest in a camp grill with a teeny propane tank....

Charlene: Oh, if you own a house you still have the right to burn down your neighbors house with a grill. This just effects us poor saps in multi-family dwellings.....

AL: He was hell to live with for about 24 hours.

Rosie: Can't you talk to your boss? I'm sure he has the power to chance the fire code for the entire state ::snort::

Alie said...

I have to say that I love your little miss crabby pants image. She's too cute ;)

I believe the same law is in place here in ON, Canada. At least it is in my friend's apartment building. George Foreman perhaps?

Lil Sis said...

I think my fav thing is that they STILL sold fireworks in Cali on the 4th even with the wildfires going. But of course, as Homer said on the Simpsons, "nothing says happy birthday USA like blowing up a small chunk of it!"