Sunday, May 4, 2008

Dark Fantasies

My Tigers should have been arrested today for impersonating a baseball team. Yeah, yeah - so they swept the Yankees in Yankee Stadium last week for the first time since 1966. Whoop-de-frickin-do. With ARod and Posada both on the disabled list, I'm not convinced we swept the real Yankees. And as much as I hate me the Yankees, I would have preferred to sweep the Twins this weekend. You know, a team that's actually in our division!

The entire nightmare that was the Twins series did give me my Dark Fantasy For The Rest Of The Baseball Season though. My dark fantasies usually involve bodily harm to some player currently pissing me off. Last year it was visualizing Pudge Rodriguez, grabbing the bat out of the hitter's hand, walking to the mound, and calmly beating Fernando Rodney to death.

That's still a pretty good fantasy, but not a credible one at the moment given that Rodney is on the DL. However, watching the Tigers completely meltdown in today's game, it hit me. My new Dark Fantasy:

Brandon Inge calmly exiting the dugout, grabbing a bat, walking out to third base, and beating Carlos Guillen to death for impersonating a third baseman.

Either that or the entire team beating Jacque Jones to death. Both of these are pretty darn good. It's so hard to choose just one in my current state of blind rage.


Cathy in AK said...

Hmmm...I see you feel about your Detroit Tigers the way I felt about my NY Football Giants. Yes, they won the Super Bowl this year, but the hairpulling frustration for the previous three plus years? OMG! Could any team have looked so sad or snatched defeat out of the jaws of victory more times than they? I think not.

So take heart. It's early in the season yet, so the Tigers may whip themselves into shape by October ; )

azteclady said...

I'm starting to feel a wee bit scairt of you, Wendy.

Remind me to never ever get on your bad side.

Lil Sis said...

I didn't call you as when I called dad he was watching the game - he said they started out with a 6-0 lead...but when we were on the phone it was 6-5. I said, "good ole Tigers - they never let you down." And I said..."I better not call Wendy today." :)

Kristie said...

I would go with the Brandon Inge proposal. I thought they had such a great first inning and then I am not sure where it all went.

Wendy said...

Well the Brandon Inge proposal has been accept by default since it appears the Tigers have put Jacque out of his misery and designated him for assignment.

The Boyfriend suggested the Tigers should clone Inge and Guillen. Make sort of a Franken-Inge or a GInge if you will......