My Tigers should have been arrested today for impersonating a baseball team. Yeah, yeah - so they swept the Yankees in Yankee Stadium last week for the first time since 1966. Whoop-de-frickin-do. With ARod and Posada both on the disabled list, I'm not convinced we swept the real Yankees. And as much as I hate me the Yankees, I would have preferred to sweep the Twins this weekend. You know, a team that's actually in our division!
The entire nightmare that was the Twins series did give me my Dark Fantasy For The Rest Of The Baseball Season though. My dark fantasies usually involve bodily harm to some player currently pissing me off. Last year it was visualizing Pudge Rodriguez, grabbing the bat out of the hitter's hand, walking to the mound, and calmly beating Fernando Rodney to death.
That's still a pretty good fantasy, but not a credible one at the moment given that Rodney is on the DL. However, watching the Tigers completely meltdown in today's game, it hit me. My new Dark Fantasy:
Brandon Inge calmly exiting the dugout, grabbing a bat, walking out to third base, and beating Carlos Guillen to death for impersonating a third baseman.
Either that or the entire team beating Jacque Jones to death. Both of these are pretty darn good. It's so hard to choose just one in my current state of blind rage.