Dear Romance Authors,
I understand that you write genre fiction and in genre fiction certain plot devices get rewritten, recycled and reworked. It's the nature of the beast and honestly, I'm OK with that. But for the love of all that is holy, is it really necessary to recycle bad writing? I'm, of course, talking about the "spark" that occurs when the hero and heroine accidentally touch or bump into each other. All I can think about is how these poor characters obviously don't have access to fabric softener and I just feel sorry for them.
So please, for my sanity and the sanity of readers everywhere, let that annoying spark die. It needs to go. It's just stupid. I've had several love affairs in my day and have felt a lot of things (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) but I never got a "spark" from a man when I handed him some item and our fingers accidentally grazed each other. It's cliche. It's stupid (I might have mentioned that already, but it bears repeating) and it drives me bat-shit. Please stop it right now or we'll have to pursue legal channels.
Wendy The Super Librarian
P.S. - You can expect another letter next week about heroines constantly licking their lips. Is it so hard to write in a tube of ChapStick? Just saying.