Sunday, January 16, 2005

Unnatural Woman

My boyfriend is making me go shopping tomorrow. For clothes.


And yes, I am really a woman and yes, I really don't want to go shopping for clothes. Why? I have to buy new jeans.


I've always found jean shopping to be on the same level as swimsuit shopping. Both are experiences designed to humiliate normally self-assured, intelligent women. And ever since that skank Britney came along, jean shopping has only gotten worse. There are some of us out there who know better than to try to squeeze into low rise jeans. And those of you who don't know better (I've seen you in airports) - ::shudder::

Even during my painfully skinny days (what I wouldn't do to have that metabolism again!) I hated jean shopping. Why? I'm almost 5'10" and all legs. So I'd find a pair of jeans that fit in the legs only to have about 5 inches too much material in the waist. I bought a lot of jeans in the men's department. You know, clothes that are actually sold by measurements and not some arbitary number that makes no sense.

Nowadays the problems are my weight and the fact that I carry most of the extra around my middle. I've half-heartedly looked for new jeans for months now, only to want to commit harikari in the department store dressing room.

But the boyfriend is serious. Buy new jeans Wendy. Buy new underthings while you're at it. And don't come home until you make a concerted effort.

Bah. I'd rather go to the used bookstore. And maybe I will. Something tells me I'll need some cheering up.

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