#TBRChallenge 2016: Come Home for Christmas

The Book: Come Home for Christmas by Pat Pritchard

The Particulars: Historical western romance, Kensington Zebra, 2005, Out of Print, Not Available in Digital.  Pritchard also writes under the name Alexis Morgan, which is her more active pseudonym these days.  Some of her other Zebra westerns have been published in digital (after rights reverted back), but this one isn't one of them (yet).

Why Was It In Wendy's TBR?:  It's a Christmas book and it's a historical western.  Of course it was in my TBR.

The Review: And yet another book for this year's TBR Challenge that I should have DNF'ed.  Not that this was bad.  It's not bad.  I've read worse.  Believe me.  No, I was just indifferent.  And I'm not sure if this is the fault of the book, the changes we've seen in the genre over the past 5 years (ALL THE FEELS!!!), or just the general reading funk I've been in for most of 2016.  It's probably a combination.  Just toss it all in the blender.

Jed Stark is a US Marshal tracking down a teenage horse thief.  However once he catches up with the boy (who has been slippery), he starts to suspect something rotten.  The boy claims the horse (a prize stallion) belonged to his grandfather, that the man accusing him of stealing the horse didn't "buy" the horse from his grandfather - but stole him then shot the old guy for his trouble.  Oh, and the town sheriff is in on it.  Doesn't help matters that the boy, Hawk, is part-Native.  Jed doesn't have the stomach to drag the boy to the hangman's noose, especially since his story sounds all too credible.  So while he gets it sorted out, he takes Hawk to the Johanson farm.  Over the years, the Johansons took in a lot of orphans, including Jed, who they thought of like a son.  But Jed left as soon as he was able, mostly because he knew he'd never be good enough for the likes of their daughter, Sadie.

When Jed left six years ago it broke Sadie's heart.  Her mother now gone, that leaves only her father - who according to the doctor is quite sick and isn't long for this world.  Now Jed is suddenly back, after all this time, to leave them Hawk, while he hits the trail again to sort out the mess.  But not before Sadie makes him promise to come back and visit regularly.  Her father is dying - slowly, but still dying.  Having Jed visit gives the old man something to look forward to.  However can Sadie's heart stand more of Jed's coming and going?

Hawk's troubles are dispatched of in short order, which leaves most of this book dealing with Jed leaving, coming back, helping with the harvest, leaving again, and then finally settling down to give Sadie her happy ending.  The conflict, such as it is, is the standard I Had a Horrible Childhood and I'm Not Good Enough for the Likes of Her.  Nothing wrong with this (even if we've all read it a billion times) - but Jed's past is never dealt with in a manner that's more than cursory.  It's hard to understand why he feels like he's not good enough for her if the author only turns over a couple tiny rocks and ignores the huge honkin' boulders where the bogeymen are lurking.  It all comes off as nothing more than Jed's stupid manly pride standing in the way.  Especially when it takes Ole, Hawk and Jed's marshal buddy, Bart, to basically tell him what a jackass he's being.  Heroes generally need one secondary character to tell them they're being idiots, but Jed needs three?!  It makes him come off as whiny and tiresome (Oh boo hoo! I'm not good enough for her!)

Without a deep dive into Jed's internal struggle, this book felt too long at 350 pages (it would have worked loads better as a Harlequin Historical).  I'm not sure if it's because the genre has gone so instant gratification in recent years (More Drama! More Feels! And All in 150 Pages!!!!), or I'm just an old cranky fusspot.  Probably a little of both.

That all being said, the world-building here is quite good.  I could see Johanson farm.  This isn't an inspirational, but the author gives her characters a sense of faith - which many pioneer families had in the 19th century even though it's an aspect that gets glossed over a lot in secular historical romance - and, wait for it, they're immigrants.  Sadie's parents are Ole and Olga Johanson.  They're farmers.  The history behind this historical romance is quite good and Pritchard weaves it all in without beating the reader over the head with The Research Stick.

This is a tortoise romance.  While a lot of today's romance is all racing ahead like a hare hopped up on meth, this is the slow and steady style of romance that will occasionally win the race.  Ultimately this didn't win for me because I wanted to go deeper into the internal conflict, but it's a quiet read that sometimes, as a reader, you need.  Damning with faint praise, but we could all do worse.

Final Grade = C

Review: Wendy's War On Christmas

I made a promise to myself at the start of 2016 that I would give myself permission to DNF more - and that includes ARCs. A Christmas Seduction by Daire St. Denis is only the 10th book I’ve DNF’ed this year, which goes to show that I’m terrible with resolutions. And I almost didn’t give up on this. It is, after all, a category romance, and I’ve never been all that good with DNF’ing category (hey, it’s only 200 pages - why not just finish it and see if it gets better?). But at the 18% mark I came to the realization that I wanted to throat punch the couple - so yeah, DNF I did.

Jolie Duval is a journalist who, instead of spending the holidays with her family, has decided to celebrate Christmas at a remote Montana ranch. There she meets hunky handyman Thaddeus Knight and she gets a hankering to unwrap him for holidays.

A pretty standard set-up, so where does it go wrong? Thad gets off on the wrong foot right away when, after driving for an hour in terrible conditions, Jolie arrives at the ranch to be greeted by his three dogs. Dogs that go running up to strangers and proceed to jump all over them (one of the dogs is named “Humper” so that should give you an idea). Jolie is terrified of dogs (we find out later she was bit by one as a child) and that’s enough for Thad to jump to all sorts of conclusions.

Four things tipped him off to her city-girl status. Her designer clothes, her designer bag, her ridiculous footwear and her fear of animals.

BURN IT! BURN IT WITH FIRE!!!!! 

OK. Look. First off - lots of folks don’t care for dogs. Especially dogs that jackass heroes fail to train properly. Also living in the city does not equate to “fear of animals.” Lots of folks who live in urban areas have pets. Heck, I’ve lived in urban areas where people are allowed to keep their own dang chickens. And what, people who live in rural areas can’t wear designer clothes? Hello?! Online shopping, anyone?!?! 

Then there’s Jolie - who is the sort of brain-dead ninny who spies a hot tub at the ranch, a hot tub that is not private and in a public area and even though she didn’t pack a swimsuit hey, why not just strip down nekkid and hop right in. I mean, seriously Wendy - how else do you expect the hero to spy her hot nekkid-ness and go all warm for her form? /end sarcasm.

Then there’s the small matter of why Jolie is spending the holidays by herself, which was enough for me to roll my eyes so far back in my head I think they got stuck like that for about 5 minutes:

As theirs was an atheist household, Jolie’s parents did not approve of using the word Christmas. Instead they called it “the holiday,” “the twenty-fifth” - anything but “Christmas.”

So we’re just going to ignore the fact that early church leaders melded the story of Jesus’ nativity with existing pagan winter holidays and traditions (look it up). Brain-bleed inducing “War on Christmas” aside - winter holidays are not the exclusive domain of Christianity. Many other religions celebrate this time of year. Atheists celebrate this time of year. For many people it’s an opportunity to be with family and friends, reflect on the year soon to be past, and count our blessings. And what are Jolie’s Satanist parents doing when she calls to deliver the news she won’t be home for the holiday? They’re planning a family dinner. SHOCK! HORROR!

Since the heroine doesn't want to spend time with them, and their atheism is specifically called out as the reason "why" - what does this imply, exactly?  That somehow not believing in some way makes you an "undesirable" person whose own daughter doesn't want to be around you.  Seriously.  This is romance.  This is the best reason the author could come up with?  What happened to the old stand-by of Mom is judgemental and keeps pressuring the heroine to get married and pop out grandbabies?

Which brings us to the moment when Jolie begins her “real Christmas” adventures. Does she crack open a Bible? Does she find out where the nearest church is? No. Her, Thad, and the other guests go out to cut down a Christmas tree. Because, you know, Christmas trees featuring so prominently in the story of Jesus’s birth. Right after Mary laid that baby in the manger her and Joseph started stringing up tinsel in the animal stalls. (Grab your hip boots folks, the sarcasm is getting deep around here!).

And that was enough for me. I disliked Thad, his stupid assumptions and his dumb-as-bricks untrained dogs. I hated the assumption that unless you’re Christian that somehow the holiday season can have zero meaning to a person. My Kindle overfloweth so...

Final Grade = DNF

#TBRChallenge 2016: December Reminder

For those of you participating in the 2016 TBR Challenge, this is a reminder that your commentary is "due" on Wednesday, December 21.  This month's theme is Holiday! 

Any holiday.  Valentine's Day, Thanksgiving, New Year's - but let's be honest.  This month's theme is because Wendy likes Christmas books and I'm the hostess and choose to make everyone else suffer.  But all hope is not lost Christmas romance Scrooges!  Remember: the themes are optional!  If you don't want to read a holiday book, you don't have to.  The ultimate point of the TBR Challenge is to read something, anything, that has been languishing for far too long.

You can find more information about the challenge (and see the list of participants) on the 2016 Information Page. 

This month concludes the 2016 TBR Challenge!  I want to thank everyone for participating and following along.  And it's not too late to sign-up for the 2017 Challenge!  You can do so, and learn more about it, here.

Review: The Decent Proposal

I've often said that once an author publishes a book, there's very little left in their control.  It's now "out there" for public consumption and readers will walk into your story with their own ideas, their own warped baggage - in other words?  Readers are nut-jobs.  The Decent Proposal by Kemper Donovan is a book I brought baggage into.  Namely it's exactly the kind of book read and loved by folks who give me the side-eye while sneering at the bevy of Harlequins on my Kindle.  Make no mistake - this is a romance novel.  But because it's more a romance novel in the same way women's fiction can be "a romance" (there's a romance, there's a happy ending, but the romance isn't always "center stage") - books like The Decent Proposal are deemed "acceptable fluff" while The Tycoon's Pregnant Amnesiac Mistress is utter garbage.

So yes, I have baggage.  But this isn't the author's fault.  Let's chalk it up to too many years on the front lines of The Genre Wars.

Richard Baumbach is a 29-year-old independent film producer living in Los Angeles and when the reader meets him he's hungover and broke.  He's handsome, charming, has a BFF named Mike (who is a girl) who is naturally in love with him because every woman seems to be in love with Richard for reasons that utterly escape me.  Anywhere else in the US this guy would be living in his Mom's basement, but in Los Angeles he's trying to pass himself off as a producer.  SoCal folks - you know this guy before the first sentence introducing him to the reader even hits the period.

Elizabeth Santiago is a native Angeleno and a workaholic lawyer trying to make partner at her firm.  She's poster girl Model Minority.  She works hard and never, ever plays.  She's estranged from her family, doesn't date, other than work she really doesn't do anything other than read classic fiction.  Her and Richard are night and day - which makes it all the more shocking when a mysterious benefactor offers them each $500,000 if they spend 2 hours a week in each other's company for one full year.

They ultimately agree to the proposal and with a few added secondary characters (Mike, a homeless man Elizabeth befriends, Richard's business partner), the story follows the trajectory of a cinematic romantic comedy with flashes of drama to flesh it out.

There are two big hurdles to getting through this book.  One is Richard who I flat-out loathed for probably 2/3's of the proceedings.  He's a pretty boy with no substance.  He's the sort of guy who speaks in one-liners and wouldn't know depth if he fell off a cliff.  He's a shallow pool.  The other is the writing style.  Folks, this one is all tell and no show.  What is it with authors shooting for "literary?"  Do they learn in some MFA program that dialogue is a four-letter word that must be avoided at all costs?  I'll be blunt - had I tried to read this (I listened to it on audio), it wouldn't have survived the DNF test. 

DIALOGUE!  FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, WRITE SOME DANG DIALOGUE!!!!!

OK, I think I have that out of my system now.  Ahem.

So what makes this book?  Well, I really liked Elizabeth.  She's your classic Heroine With Mysterious Baggage, and I really appreciated the route the author took with that baggage.  It's traumatic, but it was refreshing to read about a heroine with a past that didn't involve her being a victim of some horrific crime.  I also got hooked on the "mystery" of the mysterious benefactor and how Richard and Elizabeth were ultimately chosen.  That literally carried me through the first half of the book when I otherwise might have DNF'ed.

I also appreciated that as much as I disliked Richard for a good chunk of the book - he does grow over the course of the story.  For that matter, so does Elizabeth and I liked reading the relationships that ended up developing between all the players in the story.  The author also does a very good job with the Los Angeles setting - probably the best I've read in genre fiction that wasn't crime noir.

In the end though I'm left with the feeling that this reads like a romance novel for people who turn their noses up at "traditional" genre fiction.  I liked elements to this story, but the tell over show, internal navel-gazing, and lack of dialogue really detracted for me.  I'm not entirely sorry I spent a week of my commute listening to this on audio, but I'm also left with the feeling that I'm not quite sure who I would recommend this too.  Oh yeah, people who sneer at my Harlequin Presents collection.

Final Grade = C