Gone Fishin'

I have a feeling my blog is going to be a vast wasteland for the next few days. That's right kiddies, BookExpo America (affectionately known as BEA) is rolling into Los Angeles this weekend. Thursday, Friday and Saturday are pretty much shot for me. When I'm not partaking in the massive book orgy, I'll most likely be stuck in gridlock on one of Southern California's lovely freeways.

My plans? Did I mention the book orgy? Oh, and stalking Chelsea Cain. Seriously. I'm going to try to not make a total ass out of myself either, but as the Magic 8 Ball might say, "Outlook Not So Good."

Paperless Office My Butt

Remember back in the early days of the Internet when the talking heads were spouting off about how we'd all soon have "paperless" offices, librarians would be obsolete by 2000, and nobody would read print books anymore. Yeah, they were obviously all high on something.

At my place of employment we're winding down our current fiscal year, with the new budget taking hold sometime in July. Essentially, this means I get a couple of weeks of "down time" where I don't have to worry about ordering anything. As much as I enjoy ordering books (and believe you me, I do), I enjoy this brief respite because it gives me a chance to tie up some of the more tedious and monotonous projects that I've been neglecting. This year, that happens to be cleaning out our office.

I work in large room that is split up into cubicles. There are five of us in this office, and four of us are fairly new to the department (no more than a couple of years). Basically this means we all inherited a bunch of "stuff" that we were too scared to throw out at the time. Also, my boss had been here for 15 years, having just retired this past spring. You probably all know where this is going. Yep, I've been bit by the cleaning bug. The gems I've discovered! Let me tell you. Photocopies of old journals used for ordering children's books from 2004. Old memos from our branches letting us know what they need for their collections - dating back from 1994. Various training manuals on topics like sexual harassment in the work place dating back from 2003. Old equipment nobody uses anymore (stamps, calculators with receipt printers, a scary old Rolodex). You get the idea.

There are two types of librarians - those who throw stuff out with reckless abandon (that would be me) and those who horde crap for years (95% of the children's librarians I know). This office used to be occupied by the latter, and I'm the type that cannot abide clutter - especially when that clutter is junk that nobody has looked in years. I subscribe to the school of thought that if you haven't touched it or needed it in nine months it needs to go. Like yesterday. Get it out of here.

So that's what I've been up to. Throwing out a mountain of paper that very likely equals a couple thousand sq. ft. of rain forest (yes, I've been recycling it) and sneezing my head off from all the dust. But the good news is that it looks a billion times better in my office now. Now to tackle the stuff I have buried in my own personal files. Geez....

Little Miss Crabby Pants Needed More Beer

The baseball game last night can pretty much be summed up by the e-mail I got from the Older Sis this morning:

I am so sorry. I am just so sorry. I don't know what to say to console you. How those boys could torture you so is just beyond my comprehension. I feel for you. Hang in there.

Both the Angels and the Tigers were determined to not win the game last night. It was 0-0 through the 11th inning. Don't ask me how. I mean, Carlos Guillen practically tried to give the game away by impersonating a third baseman again (two, count 'em two!, errors thankyouverymuch). Finally in the 12th inning, one of my crappy bullpen pitchers must have decided enough was enough and walked in - yes walked in - the winning run. Angels 1, Wendy's Crappy Tigers 0.

Torture. It was pure torture.

In slightly better news, we did have awesome seats down the third base line, just past the netting behind home plate. Since Pudge Rodriguez is a right-handed hitter, that means I got a spectacular view of his incredible butt.

Sigh, but walking in the winning run?! I mean, you really have to try to be that crappy.

That's it. I'm hitting the bookstore today on my lunch break. I'm hoping to find Killing Bridezilla by Laura Levine. B&N and Borders have it listed as June 1, but Amazon has the laydown date as today, May 27. That should make me feel better. Maybe. If not, I definitely need to start drinking more.

Peanuts, Cracker Jacks, And A Whole Lotta Beer

Pudge Rodriguez Is Thinking:

"What the hell? There's that crazy woman in the cape and tiara again. Every year, it's the same story here in Anaheim. I'm in the on-deck circle, minding my business, and there's that crazy woman waving her panties in the air and starring at my spectacular ass butt. I might have to talk to my lawyer about getting a restraining order. Hey, wait a second - she looks drunker than usual this year....."

That's right Pudge! Despite the exorbitant cost of alcohol at the ball park, I very likely will be more drunk this year. Cuz, you Tigers are really starting to yank my chain. And not in a good way. I'd boycott attending the game today, but dang I paid too much for the tickets not to use them and I never miss the opportunity to look at your fine backside in person. Yeah, I really can be this shallow. Hey, what do you want from me? Y'all are playing like shit. I have to have something to look forward to, and your butt is it pretty boy.

And crap on a cracker - Kenny Rogers is pitching. That's it. I'm chugging a six-pack in the parking lot.

Viva la Memorial Day!

Everything You Were Afraid To Ask

Happy Memorial Day Weekend all of you living in the States! Just in time for the holiday, Southern California weather wigged-out. No joke. It was 100+ degrees last weekend, and today? 60. Maybe. We even got some rain. Just plain wacky.

I sort of checked-out today and didn't hop on my e-mail until late this afternoon, only to discover I had 200 messages. Eep. While wading through them I discovered that Sybil posted my review of His Secret Past by Ellen Hartman, another outstanding May title from Harlequin SuperRomance. Really, it's fantastic. Check it out.

Also, the delightful Sherry Thomas posted an interview with yours truly. Sherry asked me months ago to do this interview for an RWR (that would be RWA's members-only newsletter) article she was writing, and today she posted my interview on her blog. 'Tis a long interview, but if you ever wanted to know some details about my job? Head on over.

Strange Bedfellows

My library's Interlibrary Loan department is right across the hall from my office. Incidentally, they have the most well-stocked candy dish in the entire building. So when I go over there to get my Hershey Kisses fix, I also like to take a look to see what our patrons are requesting from other libraries around the country.

Today I saw several sweet, chaste, innocent-looking Regency romances by Marion Chesney sitting next to a less-than-innocent-looking Connie Mason romance. I can't imagine anyone besides a fellow romance reader will understand, but I found this rather amusing.

Tomorrow, I get a life.

Hacker Gate Update - My Amazon account is back in business! Which means I think I've mopped up this entire mess in six days. At least I'm hoping....

Of Bats And Men

Over the weekend The Boyfriend and I saw Iron Man. He loved it. Of course, it's only natural he would. Notorious playboy, who manufactures weapons for a living, and invents an "iron" suit that allows him to fly and kick ass. I mean, what red-blooded, testosterone-laden man wouldn't love that concept? So enchanted was The Boyfriend by this movie that he told me he liked it better than Batman Begins.

Put on the brakes there Iron Boy.

I did enjoy Iron Man. For a superhero movie it was pretty darn good. Now that Robert Downey Jr. has stopped ingesting junk for a living, it's really shown in his work. I thought he was fabulous in the understated Zodiac, and he's got a charming, rascal-y quality to him in Iron Man. I liked it more than any of the Spider-Man movies, certainly better than Superman Returns, and even a little better than the X-Men movies. But better than Batman? Um, no.

To illustrate my point, one of the previews to Iron Man was a new Dark Knight trailer I hadn't seen yet. Oh man, I am desperate to see this movie. The Joker! Harvey Dent! Christian Bale looking scrumptious! I don't think Maggie Gyllenhaal is quite "pretty" enough to play Rachel Dawes, but she's certainly a better actress and not nearly as annoying as Tom Cruise's personal robot, Katie Holmes. So major props there. Sigh, it is depressing though to watch Heath Ledger swagger his way though these clips as The Joker. You could make the argument that Brokeback Mountain already "made" him - but this movie would have launched his career into the stratosphere, says I. There's no other way to slice it - it's so damn depressing and such a god-awful waste.

Vodka, Vodka, Who's Got The Vodka?

It's been a rough week here at the Bat Cave and it's only Monday. Besides the whole being hacked thing (which I'll learn to let go of, eventually, promise) my Detroit Tigers are playing like shit crap. Seriously. For a team that was supposed to be so super-fantastic they sure do suck wind. And lucky me, that's how I'll be spending my upcoming Memorial Day! Watching my crappy Tigers likely get the crap kicked out of them by the on-a-roll Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Anaheim Angels. Normally I would like to think the mere presence of The Super Librarian in the stands would knock some sense into these guys - but with my current string of bad luck? Watch - someone will end up breaking a leg.

In other happier, sunshiner news - head on over to The Good The Bad The Unread today for more Harlequin SuperRomance madness with a guest post by Ellen Hartman! And yep, another chance to win free books! This one will be of great interest for you baby haters out there. These two books we're giving away? Not a baby in sight. Check it out.

Mystery Solved?

I'm trying to move on with my life after being hacked. For those of you keeping score at home, this ass munch got into my e-mail, Amazon and eBay accounts. PayPal was untouched thanks to the fact that I wasn't a moron and had a different password over there (which I changed anyway). As far as customer service efforts - once I found Yahoo's phone number (which took some doing) they were extremely helpful, as was eBay. So major props there. Amazon? Um yeah - not so much. I still do not have access to my Amazon account (for selling or buying) and I was informed via generic e-mail that they would call me. Yeah, that's not going to work. So on Monday I plan on calling them and demanding satisfaction.

The lesson in all this is to not be an idiot like me. I'm a librarian. I should have known better. But I used the same password for almost everything. Dumb, dumb, really fucking dumb. Now I have about 25 different passwords, which are all nonsensical and completely different. And while I always used a combo of numbers and letters I'm now using numbers, letters, random capitalization and special characters. Trying to keep all these new passwords straight will very likely cause my feeble little brain to explode, but nobody can ever say that Super Librarian doesn't learn her lesson.

What really bothers me about all of this is I don't know "why" I was targeted. I mean, I'm smart enough to not fall for phishing scams, so how? A computer virus? Sheer dumb luck? But while talking to my Lil' Sis today she suggested another possibility. Wireless. Yep, The Boyfriend has a lap top with a wireless card and I used it a couple of weeks ago. Now, that's some serious lag time if that's how the hacker found me - but it's the only viable "reason" I've come up with so far. So now I have to nag The Boyfriend to verify that his laptop has the necessary security features, and we need to make sure we're dumping our history and cookie files. What a pain in the ass.

Of course it could not be that at all and merely my bad karma. So who knows? Maybe it really was just that random?

In other news, I had a very enjoyable day at the spa where I had the works done. I'm talking everything. I have cute hands and feet now. I had a facial that was so fantastic I almost asked the woman to marry me. And the massage? Seriously, I have a theory that if you're a woman, and you're feeling blue, all you need is a massage and a trip to the gay bar. You'll be feeling fabulous in no time.

I Earned It!

Little did I know that when I made an appointment to go to the spa today that I was going to need it so desperately. I'm still persona non grata over at Amazon, but I'm hoping someone will eventually answer the e-mail I was instructed by their customer service department to send. In the meantime, I apparently "broke the rules" when it came to posting items for sale and those have been deleted. Well, gee - ya think? It was all stuff the idiot hacker posted to my account!

And can I just whine about what a bitch it is to think up entirely new nonsensical passwords?

Hopefully the entire day I have planned at the spa will restore well-being. This was another one of my awesome Christmas gifts from The Boyfriend. Yeah, I'm just getting around to using it. And did I mention how much I need this today?

In the meantime, while I'm getting pampered and hopefully finding myself in a better, less blood-thirsty mood, head on over to The Good The Bad The Unread, where the Harlequin SuperRomance Spotlight rolls on. Today, it's an interview with Debra Salonen.

Dear Human Excrement

Dear Flaming Pile Of Dog Shit:

Thank you so much for hacking not only into my Yahoo e-mail account, but my Amazon account as well. I'm sure sending me into a state of panic was a nice way for you to break up your busy day of sitting in your mom's basement, eating microwave burritos and playing World Of Warcraft. Since you obviously haven't gotten laid, ever, I'm so pleased that I was able to add a little jolly excitement to your day.

Please be advised that I have it on good authority that there is a special place in Hell for ass wipes such as yourself and I've already contacted a voodoo priestess to put a hex on your balls. I wasn't entirely sure at first, given that you're obviously not using them and will likely not miss them, but she seems pretty knowledgeable and I'm nothing if not determined. Expect them to shrivel up and fall off any day now.

Sincerely,
The Super Librarian

PS - If anyone out in cyberspace got any weirdo e-mails from me and/or you sent me something of importance that I never responded to, please resend. On the bright side, once I found their customer service number, Yahoo was extremely helpful. My Amazon account is currently frozen, and I'm still awaiting word. Now I'm off to verify that other accounts are still intact.....

A Look Inside My Holds Queue

I seem to be suffering from a festering case of ennui at the moment, which in layman's terms means "I got nothing." So I thought it might be fun, or at least blog filler, to let the world at large peak inside my holds queue. In other words, what books have I placed on hold for my own personal amusement at work. Yeah, I know I already own an obscene amount of books on my own, but I do utilize the library for my hard cover fix, and for those titles I'm just not quite sure enough about to buy with my own hard earned dollars. Here's what I'm waiting on at the moment:


Killing Bridezilla by Laura Levine - And the cycle continues. Every June, Laura Levine publishes a new book in her Jaine Austen cozy mystery series. And every June I say I'm going to wait for a library copy, but ultimately cave and buy my own. Then I read the damn thing in less than 24 hours, and end up donating my copy to work. I just cannot wait. These books are fast, fun reads and Levine always manages to cram a compelling mystery, with plenty of viable suspects, into less than 260 pages. I don't know how the woman does it, and does it so well. Not enough people are reading her says I.




The Dirty Secrets Club by Meg Gardiner - A So. Cal. native now living in England, Gardiner hit the "big time" last year when Stephen King devoted one of his Entertainment Weekly columns to her sheer genius. At that point she was only being published overseas. With King's endorsement came publicity and this, her sixth novel, is being released in the States on June 12. Normally I don't give much credence to such endorsements, but the plot on this one tickled my fancy. The heroine is a medical examiner called in to conduct autopsies on several high-profile suicides in San Francisco. Naturally, mayhem ensues.





Vodka Neat by Anna Blundy - Another author originally published overseas, Vodka Neat is actually the third book in the Faith Zanetti series. This one flipped my switch after reading a review. Faith is a foreign correspondent with an alcohol problem who is arrested after she sets foot on Russian soil. They think she's connected to a series of homicides. Unfortunately for Faith, she was drunk at the time of the murders, and the details are sketchy. So off she goes to find the charming Russian black marketeer she married at the tender age of 19. That's when all hell breaks loose.





Sleeping With the Devil by Vanessa Marlow - Marlow is a pseudonym for erotic-romance author Cheryl Holt. I've only read one novel by Holt, and let's just say the experience left me emotionally scarred. I chalked her up as "not for me," and traipsed along my merry way. Then I heard about this novel, which is billed as an "erotic thriller." I adore erotic thrillers. Also, Katie(babs) blogged about this one ages ago, and her thoughts really intrigued me. Will it turn out to be a case of curiosity killing the cat librarian? Time will tell....

Oh No She Didn't

She Can't Be This Stupid, Can She? News Item Of The Day:

Doris Lessing said winning the Nobel Prize has been a "bloody disaster" because of the increased media attention, according to the BBC. The author has said she "would probably now be giving up writing novels altogether."

"All I do is give interviews and spend time being photographed," Lessing said, adding she "also recalled that, in the 1960s, she had been informed that the Nobel Academy's judges did not like her and she would never win."

There is so much wrong with this, and on so many levels. First, she's whining (yes, whining) about winning the Nobel Prize. People like this make me want to find a really heavy book (something written by Stephen King or Leon Uris, something that's at least 900 pages long) and aim my throw to land right between their eyes. You're whining about winning the Nobel Prize! I don't care that she's 88 years old, nobody can bitch about winning the Nobel Prize and not sound like a bloody moron.

Ugh, and so people want to interview you and take your picture? Here's a radical thought - say no! No, I'm not giving interviews. No, I'm staying home and writing. No, no, no. Hell, it worked for J.D. Salinger, it can work for you too!

Honestly.

The Shakes

OK kids, let's play a game. How long do you think it's been since I last set foot into a bookstore? Go ahead, take a wild guess......

Ready?

It was March 9. Back when Nath and Ames were visiting and Rosie, Lori and I met them at Borders and later for lunch. Gah. I know. That's really, really sad. Two months, and no go to bookstore for Wendy.

Today the time had come. I had several gift certificates burning a hole in my pocket (thanks to my Borders Rewards Visa credit card) and frankly I was starting to get the shakes. So I parked The Boyfriend in front of the TV, and off I went. Here's what I got after I forked over my wad of gcs plus $2 and some change:


Unlawful Contact by Pamela Clare - Simply put, I succumbed to all the Blog Land buzz on this one. I really enjoyed Clare's guest posts over at The Good, The Bad, The Unread as well. Damn. I'm still a little torn here because my one prior experience with Clare's romantic suspense was not a positive one. The heroine drove me insane. That said, I do remember conceding in my ranting, raving review (such heroines have that effect on me) that Clare can write. So I'm willing to give her romantic suspense another shot.




Taking The Heat by Kathryn Shay - The short answer is that Shay's an autobuy author for me. I buy all of her books brand new, typically the month they're released. The long answer? I have a sickness when it comes to "collecting" books by certain authors and letting then languish in my TBR for years. I adore Shay's HSR titles, but do you think I've read any of her single titles yet? Gosh, of course not! But there they be - sitting in the TBR.





Hungers Of The Heart by Jenna Black - Look kiddies, a paranormal! I read the first book in this series and really, really enjoyed it. Probably because the heroine wasn't a shallow vessel (my main beef with paranormals actually). Yeah, hunky vampire heroes are great and all, but if he's paired with a wet dishrag there's just not a whole lot for me to get excited about. Just saying. Anyway, this is the fourth book in the series. Yep, it's joining books two and three in the TBR. Sigh.




Comanche Moon by Catherine Anderson - This is a reprint of one of Anderson's older historicals that has been out of print forever. I basically bought it on principle. I'd love to see publishers (hey, I'll even take print on demand!) reprint more of these long-out-of-print backlist titles by popular authors. Just saying.






Wild, Wild Women Of The West by Delilah Devlin, Layla Chase & Myla Jackson - I love westerns. I also love books with naughty bits. Yes, I'm that transparent. This anthology features three historical western stories with naughty bits. It's been on my wish list forever. I finally broke down and bought it.






Wild, Wild Women Of The West II by Layla Chase, Delilah Devlin & Myla Jackson - See above. And once I saw that WWWotW now had a Part II, I figured it might be time for me to actually break down and buy Part I. Plus, I had gcs to burn. So I figured I had nothing to lose.

Flying Around Blog Land

Super Librarian has been busy. I had a post up at Romancing The Blog yesterday and today, an interview has gone live over at The Good The Bad The Unread that I did with Harlequin SuperRomance author supreme, Kathryn Shay. Shay's a personal favorite of mine, so please do stop on by and comment, comment, comment. Also, the more you comment on the HSR Spotlight posts, the more chances you have to win the books that are currently sitting on my dining room table. And who doesn't love free books?

Beatlemania

Thirteen Great Lines From Beatles' Songs

1. " Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye." I Am The Walrus

2. "The newspapers said, she's gone to his head; They look just like two gurus in drag." The Ballad of John and Yoko

3. "You may be a lover but you ain't no dancer." Helter Skelter

4. "I look at you all, see the love there that's sleeping." While My Guitar Gently Weeps

5. "And though she tried her best to help me; She could steal but she could not rob." She Came In Through The Bathroom Window

6. "Why, tell me why, did you not treat me right? Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight." I'm Looking Through You

7. "Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see." Strawberry Fields Forever

8. "You and I have memories; Longer than the road that stretches out ahead." Two of Us

9. "I once had a girl, or should I say, she once had me..." Norwegian Wood

10. "But when you want money for people with minds that hate; All I can tell you is brother you have to wait." Revolution

11. "Silently closing her bedroom door; Leaving the note that she hoped would say more." She's Leaving Home

12. "Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door." Eleanor Rigby

13. "Changing my life with a wave of her hand." Here, There and Everywhere

You now have permission to go hit YouTube.

I'm Pretty Sure I've Read This Book

Even with it's tendency towards rambling asides that poorly mask the minuscule story arcs, I still like me some Family Guy. This clip is from last Sunday's episode and I literally laughed so hard I snorted. My first thought after I recovered was that every romance reader has read more than a few bad novels with this sort of plot. Enjoy the clip while you can, cuz I'm not sure how long it will be up on YouTube before someone cries copyright infringement!



Added 5/7/08: Well that didn't take long. The clip is gone and I can't find another one on YouTube. Bugger. Copyright, Smopyright. Don't these people "get" the power of viral marketing? Ah well, if you go the Family Guy web site, you can watch the full episode, Long John Peter. That's assuming of course that you want to watch a full episode to see the 30 second clip I originally posted about "The Busy Business Woman."

Blog Fodder And Good Book Alert

How awesome is this T-shirt? Even more awesome? I got the link to this blog fodder from one of my exes. Every girl should have at least one ex with a sense of humor.

In other news, I have another review posted over at The Good The Bad The Unread. I cannot recommend The Man Behind The Cop by Janice Kay Johnson more. You fans of emotional category romances really need to add this one to your shopping list. It just about damn near ripped my heart out. Go forth and read!

Dark Fantasies

My Tigers should have been arrested today for impersonating a baseball team. Yeah, yeah - so they swept the Yankees in Yankee Stadium last week for the first time since 1966. Whoop-de-frickin-do. With ARod and Posada both on the disabled list, I'm not convinced we swept the real Yankees. And as much as I hate me the Yankees, I would have preferred to sweep the Twins this weekend. You know, a team that's actually in our division!

The entire nightmare that was the Twins series did give me my Dark Fantasy For The Rest Of The Baseball Season though. My dark fantasies usually involve bodily harm to some player currently pissing me off. Last year it was visualizing Pudge Rodriguez, grabbing the bat out of the hitter's hand, walking to the mound, and calmly beating Fernando Rodney to death.

That's still a pretty good fantasy, but not a credible one at the moment given that Rodney is on the DL. However, watching the Tigers completely meltdown in today's game, it hit me. My new Dark Fantasy:

Brandon Inge calmly exiting the dugout, grabbing a bat, walking out to third base, and beating Carlos Guillen to death for impersonating a third baseman.

Either that or the entire team beating Jacque Jones to death. Both of these are pretty darn good. It's so hard to choose just one in my current state of blind rage.

The Super Secret Project

If you're a regular over at The Good The Bad and The Unread, you already know they've declared 2008 The Year Of Harlequin. Michelle Styles has been swinging by with monthly Harlequin Insider columns, there was a whole mess of Silhouette Nocturne guest posts and reviews in March, Silhouette Special Edition got the treatment in April and.....

May is the Harlequin SuperRomance Spotlight!

Now, who do you think Sybil asked to handle that spotlight? Any guesses? Who better than a Super Librarian? One who has publicly stated more than a few times that HSR is one of her very favorite lines?

So be sure to check out the HSR Spotlight all month long - cuz damn, I've put in a lot of work on it. My introduction is up today, there are two interviews with HSR authors in the can, a couple of guest posts to hopefully follow as well, and reviews! I gots books to review. So stop on by. Leave comments. Oh, and did I mention there's a chance to win free books? Books that are currently sitting on my dining room table? Yeah, be sure to stop on by.