Old Geezer

My Mission: Kiss & Makeup by Alison Kent

Harlequin Connection: #197 in Harlequin Blaze line

Publication Date: August 2005

How Long It's Been In My TBR: Just under a year. I won this in a contest over at the Oxygen Network.

Plot: Shandi Fossey left behind Nowhereville, Oklahoma for the bright lights of Manhattan. By day she attends the Fashion Institute of Technology and dreams of making it big as a make-up artist. Her nights are spent tending bar at the exclusive Hush hotel, the sort of place that provides sex toys in the rooms (le sigh). It's on the job that she meets hunky music producer Quentin Marks. He's in town for meetings, with immediate plans to set up his own studio in his hometown of Austin, Texas. He's burnt out on the high life and just wants to feel normal again. Then he meets sexy Shandi and he wonders why he's in such a hurry to leave New York.

My Verdict: There were parts of this story I really liked. Shandi and Quentin are both nice people, driven to succeed. I especially liked how Shandi was determined to make her dreams come true and defy her family, who thought she was due to return to Oklahoma at any minute to lick her wounds. I also liked the chemistry these two had and the sex scenes were very well done. Seriously, after slogging through some mind-numbing stuff thanks to the recent erotica boom, the encounters these two have come off as sexy and fresh.

That said, there were times that I felt I was already too old to read this book. It's the kind of story I probably would have loved when I was in my early 20s. The secondary romance is mainly to blame here. The spoiled little rich girl who won't stand up to her old money family even though she's madly in love with Shandi's roommate. A couple of times I wanted to smack these two and just tell them to "Grow Up Already!" That said, they do behave like your typical 20-somethings, still in college, so-in-lurve couple - so I can hardly find fault with that.

I also wasn't entirely wild about the ending. Without giving too much away, I would have loved to have seen Kent pull a little role reversal with the happily-ever-after. She could have done it with this story, and well - let's just say I thought it was an opportunity missed.

Completely Unrelated To Anything: I really dig this cover.

Final Grade = B-. At times I found this book uneven, but the parts I liked, I really liked. And have I mentioned the sex scenes were really good? Hot without being sleazy. Not that there's anything wrong with sleazy....

Brown-Eyed Handsome Devil

My Mission: The Company You Keep by Angela Henry

Harlequin Connection: Published under the Kimani Sepia banner.

Publication Date: 2005

How Long It's Been In My TBR: Less than a year. The author was featured over at Karen's blog, and I followed the link to her web site. I thought her series sounded good and bought the first book off eHarlequin.

Plot: Kendra Clayton is part-time GED instructor, part-time hostess at her uncle's restaurant in Willow, Ohio. A friend of hers from work, Bernie, is dating a worthless, useless man. Jordan Wallace is the kind of smooth operator who charms woman out of their money and good sense. Well Praise The Lord, Bernie acts as if she's finally seen the light! Certainly doesn't hurt matters that she's finally figured out that Jordan is dallying with another woman. Then Jordan ends up dead, and the whole affair gets very sticky. Bernie begs Kendra to withhold a seemingly useless piece of information from the police. Bernie's her friend, and Kendra knows she didn't do it - so what's the harm? Naturally Kendra's good intentions blow up in her face, which lead to her doing a bit of amateur sleuthing on the side.

My Verdict: Just as I hoped, I ended up really liking this book. Henry writes in what I call "chatty" first person. Kendra is your best friend, your favorite coworker and your brother's nice girlfriend all rolled into one. The suspense is also very good, and the author takes her time setting the stage (although we do get the dead body by Chapter 2) and introducing all the players. The writing does occasionally veer towards "info-dumping" when it comes to character back-story, but mercifully it's only for a paragraph or two and the author reins herself in rather quickly. The setting was spot on - I really felt like I knew Willow, Ohio. Right down to her Uncle's restaurant, the local seedy bar and the beauty shop where all the gossip flies.

I will say though that I did figure out the identity of the bad guy about 50 pages before Kendra. That said - I only had about one tenth of the motive figured out. It's pretty involved, and gotta say I was impressed. Also, kudos to the author for wrapping up all her loose ends and red herrings. There were more than a few.

File Under Nitpicky: Is it just me? I tend to get annoyed when authors just don't come out and tell me when the story takes place. Although this was published in 2005, the story takes place sometime during the 1990s. One of Kendra's friends sets her up on a blind date and describes the guy as a "man of the 90s." Kendra also mentions that she hasn't gotten around to buying a CD player yet because cassettes are still readily available and the girls in the beauty shop are watching a trashy talk show that has Kendra fearing for the state of society "in the 90s." Why not just come out and say "May 1993" or whatever. I'll admit, this is way beyond nitpicky. It just happens to be one of my quirks.

Final Grade = B. So much for cleaning out my TBR. Now I have to buy the next two books in this series. Damn.

Getting Back On The Horse

One of these days I'll get back to talking about books. It's just been hard to read for the past week because of all the smoke in the area - oh, she makes my head hurt!

At this point the Orange County fire is around 65% contained. Word is that they hope to have it fully contained by Friday. Now, for those of you who don't live in fire country - containment doesn't necessarily mean "put out." It just means that the fire is no longer spreading, plus there's still the small matter of checking for hot spots. News from San Diego is a bit more encouraging, as the largest fire in that area is now being reported as 95% contained. But just to make things really cute, more Santa Ana winds are on the way for this upcoming weekend. Oh joy.

In other news, I've completely fallen off my diet and exercise routine. It's hard to go for my lunchtime walks when the air is filled with ash. Of course this is no excuse to hit the pizza hard over the weekend. In a bit of twisted karma, I was rewarded with Heartburn From Hell during the wee hours this morning. I begged The Boyfriend to smother me with a pillow to put me out of my misery - but did he? Of course not! Needless to say when my alarm clock went off this morning I wanted to punch something. This is the first case of heartburn I've had since going on the Diet From Hell, which tells me that even though I'd managed to only drop a measly two pounds, the whole eating better and exercising regime is good for something. Who knew? So here we go again...

Positively Giddy

I hereby declare that I will forever be a slave to Dorchester Publishing. Lookie what just (I'm talking just) showed up in my office mailbox:



Yes, the Mickey Spillane is very nice but.....

Squeeeeeeeeee! I got an ARC of Money Shot! Oh joy! Oh ecstasy! Oh happy, happy day! I first heard (and blogged) about this book back in June. And now 'tis mine! All mine! The question is - can I keep up with my Harlequin Reading Challenge when I now have this book in my hot little hands?

Dirty Kitty

Megan The Library Cat loves her naughty books

The Orange County/Santiago fire went from getting better yesterday (50% containment) to worse over night (back down to 30% containment). Word on the street is that it's now moving towards the Cleveland National Forest in Riverside County. This is not good news, and will pose another challenge for our firefighters, who are working in some rough terrain.

This is one of the suspected arson fires, and I heard on the radio this morning that the FBI is on the case. I'm voting for a public stoning, but I'm bitter like that.

The smoke situation is only going to get worse before it gets better. I left work early yesterday because my office building was uninhabitable. It's better today, but I'm thinking I'll need to become a mouth-breather for a while.

Some good news to report though. One of our libraries up in canyon country has been closed all week because they are in one of the mandatory evacuation areas. Well, they have a library cat whose job is to look cute and catch any varmints (snakes, rodents) that make their way into the building. We were all worried about Megan, and wondering if she made it out. She did! The president of the Friends Of The Library group got her out after the mandatory evacuations were handed down. So good times! Hopefully she'll be back home and reading Susan Johnson in no time. That's an actual picture of her above reading Legendary Lover.

Fire Update

Reader submitted photo to the O.C. Register.
This is a shot from the Irvine area of the O.C./Santiago Canyon fire.

As of yesterday evening (Pacific time) all of the So. Cal. romance bloggers had checked in with each other. So for the moment, we're all safe, albeit worried about family and friends living in canyon country and San Diego.

The Santa Ana winds have died down some today, which is good news for our brave firefighters. Not so good for air quality, which has obviously been piss poor. All that wind was moving things around, but now the smoke is just hanging there, stagnant. My office building is terrible! I'm a healthy adult with no respiratory issues and I'm not sure I'll last the whole day. Seriously.

Where I live isn't much better. We're not only getting the smoke from the O.C. fire, but also the fires burning out near where Rosie lives. We're smack dab in the middle. The Boyfriend has pretty much been home going stir crazy. He's in sales, which means quite a bit of day traveling. Well, with the entire area burning down around us, he can't very well go out on the sales calls he planned this week. Where was he heading? San Diego. Ha! So yesterday he made it his mission to buy an air purifier. I thought he was nuts - not because I didn't think it was a good idea to get one - but because I thought for sure he wouldn't find one! It's a bit like buying new fans during a heat wave or portable heaters during a blizzard. Everyone else gets the same brilliant idea at once.

Oh me of little faith! I think we lucked out because most people already have purifiers. So he found one at his first stop, our nearby Home Depot. Best money we've ever spent! Our apartment is habitable. Not a hint of smoke. Stepping outside? Another story entirely.

The fires are better in some areas and still horrible in others. We're in for a long, hard road - and once they are out? We'll be living with the aftereffects for a long time to come. Even setting aside property damage, injuries and loss of life - who knows when the air will be fit to breathe again. And that's saying something, because it's not like the air quality is all that great under normal conditions.

Off A Cliff

My Mission: Drive Me Wild by Vicki Lewis Thompson

Harlequin Connection: #921 in the now-sadly-defunct Harlequin Temptation line.

Publication Date: April 2003

How Long It's Been In The TBR: A long while. I can't remember when I bought it, but I do remember why I bought it. I had read and loved an earlier Thompson Temptation, The Nights Before Christmas.

Plot: Molly Drake is the daughter of a famous Hollywood director and infamous actress. She lives in Connecticut and has been making a living ghostwriting cozy mysteries for an actress friend of hers. She's getting antsy though and wants to see her name on the bestseller lists. Plus, she's sick of cozies. So she writes a hot erotic novel only to have her agent tell her that it sucks. It ain't hot. It ain't erotic. Face it Molly, you're a shy, little introvert who doesn't know what sexy is. Frustrated, and wanting to conduct a little research, Molly propositions Alec Masterson, her regular driver from the car service she employs. A scorching affair begins.

My Verdict: Gotta admit here that this book largely didn't work for me. It's readable and the s-e-x is hot, hot stuff but the conflict? It's pretty darn weak. The big stumbling blocks? Molly dithers about whether or not she should tell Alec about her ghostwriting gig. Um, excuse me but why would he bloody care? And Alec? Well he's a bit of a flake. 31 years old and a professional college student who has changed majors more times than he's changed his underwear. His latest career path involves getting his law degree, which he honestly doesn't want to do (he's a blue collar guy through and through) but family expectations are weighing him down (call me crazy, but at 31 you should be old enough to tell your parents to eff-off). I also thought this story would have benefited from less s-e-x (shocking, I know) and more good, old fashioned non-sexual dialogue. But I'm wacky like that.

Oh, and file these under nitpicky:

• A Hollywood actress who has a ghostwriter writing cozies? Hollywood actresses do not put their names on cozies. They "write" trashy, tell-all, celebrity-name-dropping books. But that's the librarian in me rearing her ugly head.
  

• Molly was raised in California but doesn't know how to drive? L.A. is not N.Y. Everybody drives out here. Californians are car obsessed. Even famous people with suspended licenses drive cars out here.
  

• The word starlet. Nobody uses it anymore and certainly men don't use it. Alec asks Molly if she's a "starlet." Why not just ask her if she's Jean Harlow? Cuz, I'm pretty sure that was the last time that term was in vogue.
  

Final Grade = C-. This just didn't work all that well for me. It wasn't horrible, but it really didn't hold my interest and I pretty much skimmed the second half. Not a good thing when the book is only 200 pages long to begin with.

Rain Of Fire

L.A. times reader submitted photo of Santiago Canyon fire near Irvine.
Welcome to California ladies and gentlemen.

The boyfriend and I woke up very early Sunday morning to the sound of wind. A whole lotta wind. The only way I can describe the phenomena of Santa Ana winds is that it's like living in a wind tunnel. Reports yesterday ranged anywhere from 60mph to 85mph. That's unpleasant folks. It sounded like the roof of my apartment was going to get ripped off all day yesterday.

That's certainly annoying, but only the start of what always seems to follow. Hot, dry wind, coupled with the desert conditions of Southern California mean one thing - fire. Malibu and San Diego have made the national news (lordy, it's horrible there!), while the O.C. (Orange County, where I live) is dealing with the above Santiago Canyon fire. To add insult to injury, the O.C. fire was reportedly set by an arsonist.

Where ever you are asshole, I hope they shrivel up and fall off.

Basically speaking it's been business as usual for me. Fires all around, but not terribly close to where I live (a bit closer to where I work). We have had to close two of our libraries though due to proximity of the blaze and road closures.

The Boyfriend reports that our apartment smells like a giant campfire.

We have lots of romance bloggers and authors that hail from the So. Cal. area. Last I heard there were a dozen fires burning from Ventura County all the way south to San Diego. Please feel free to leave a comment on this post to let us know how you're doing, what it's like in your area etc. Or please post something on your own blog. Information is power!

10/23 Update: KNX 1070 (news radio) has a lot of information up on their web page and you can even listen live.

Bloody Knees

My Mission: High Plains Wife by Jillian Hart

Harlequin Connection: #670 in Harlequin Historical line.

Publication Date: August 2003

How Long It's Been In The TBR: Probably since 2003. I can't recall the circumstances, but given the condition of the book I'm sure I purchased it new. It certainly looks new.

Plot: Mariah Scott is the town spinster nursing a serious case of unrequited love. As a girl she had a crush on Nick Gray, but her emotionally abusive father got in the way. Now well past the blush of youth, with spinster stamped all over her, she's occupying herself with charity work and her laundry business. Then Nick Gray proposes a marriage of convenience.

Nick's wife, Lida, committed suicide, leaving behind a fractured marriage and two grief-stricken children. Nick is trying to run his ranch, and even though he has no desire to, he realizes he has to marry for the sake of the kids. The last thing he wants is some moon-eyed young miss with delusions of happily-ever-after. How about hardworking, dependable and practical Mariah?

My Verdict: This story just about ripped my heart out! Mariah is desperately in love with Nick, and he's desperately in love with her. The problem is he's too much of an idiot to do anything about it. His first wife betrayed him, and for him love means nothing but heartache and sorrow. He doesn't treat Mariah poorly, until the end - when after they have sex (naturally) he pushes her away in a very cruel manner. Naturally it all ends right as rain, but frankly I wanted Nick to grovel. I wanted him to grovel a lot. I wanted bloody knees dagnabit. And instead it's Mariah who apologizes for her impulsive behavior, and Nick telling her she's his "one true love." I guess that's nice and all, but Grovel damn you! Grovel!

Final Grade = B-. This easily would have been a keeper for me with some groveling. As is, it kinda ticked me off because dang, Nick says some pretty hurtful things to Mariah towards the climactic finish and he needed to pay. That said, this is a seriously emotional read. I recommend it with a box of Kleenex on the side.

Lordy How I Miss This Line

My Mission: All Wrapped Up by Jennifer Drew

Harlequin Connection: #956 in the now-sadly-defunct Harlequin Temptation line

Publication Date: December 2003

How Long It's Been In The TBR: Probably since December 2003. I'm sure I bought it brand-spankin' new from eHarlequin, being the ho for Christmas-themed books that I am. Don't ask why I remember this, I just do. Chalk it up to having no life.

Plot: Olivia "Liv" Kearns is under a lot of stress. The new CEO of the PR firm she works for is determined to attract a younger, hipper clientèle. Liv, while being good at her job, is young (in her late 20s) but wouldn't know hip if it smacked her in the face. Needless to say, her job is anything but stable. On top of that, her parents have announced they're divorcing on the eve of their 30th anniversary and her younger sister is getting married. Into this chaos waltzes Nick Matheson, a Chicago sports writer trying to get a scoop. He needs an "in" with a reluctant interviewee, who just happens to be a client of Liv's firm. Liv and Nick had a relationship that fizzled in college. She fell head over heels in love, he wasn't looking for commitment. In a nutshell? He got spooked and unceremoniously dumped her. But that's all water under the bridge now, right?

My Verdict: Lordy, how I miss the Temptation line! This story is everything I love about category romance. The conflict, characters and story are believable. We're talking real life here. Two college kids who were crazy about each other, but the timing was all wrong. He never forgets her, and she does her best to forget him. Better still? The author never panders to her readers by using cliches. Liv has just broken up with a boyfriend who told her she was frigid. Does she now think she's "bad" at sex? Of course not! She tells herself that he was the problem. She knows what "good" sex is and she wasn't having it with that loser! And the ending? What an ending!

He expected her to ask for particulars. Should they live together? Get engaged? Get married? Instead, she only smiled.

Oh thank you baby Jesus! No sped up courtship! No heroine squirting out triplets in the epilogue! Could my life possibly get any better?

Final Grade = B+. If you see this one lying around that the UBS, snap it up. It's very, very good.

Final Note: Anyone know what the heck happened to Jennifer Drew? They're actually a mother and daughter writing team whose backlist is largely populated with Harlequin Duets (a line that never did much for me - sorry!). I'd love to know if they're both still writing, together or separately.

Who Doesn't Love Gimmicks?

If you head over to my Library Thing account you'll see my TBR in it's entirety. Yes, I own all those books. No, I haven't read any of them yet.

I need serious help.

So in an effort to delude myself, I'm instituting something I'm calling The Harlequin Reading Challenge. I, Wendy The Super Librarian, will read nothing but books published by Harlequin until I leave for my Thanksgiving travel plans on November 17. That's four weeks on the button.

Any book published by Harlequin is fit for the challenge. That means all the category and single title lines. Will I read a Mira romantic suspense? An HQN contemporary? A Harlequin Historical western? Or simply gorge myself on Harlequin SuperRomances? Time, and my fickle reading mood, will tell.

We Need Downy, Stat!

Dear Romance Authors,

I understand that you write genre fiction and in genre fiction certain plot devices get rewritten, recycled and reworked. It's the nature of the beast and honestly, I'm OK with that. But for the love of all that is holy, is it really necessary to recycle bad writing? I'm, of course, talking about the "spark" that occurs when the hero and heroine accidentally touch or bump into each other. All I can think about is how these poor characters obviously don't have access to fabric softener and I just feel sorry for them.

So please, for my sanity and the sanity of readers everywhere, let that annoying spark die. It needs to go. It's just stupid. I've had several love affairs in my day and have felt a lot of things (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) but I never got a "spark" from a man when I handed him some item and our fingers accidentally grazed each other. It's cliche. It's stupid (I might have mentioned that already, but it bears repeating) and it drives me bat-shit. Please stop it right now or we'll have to pursue legal channels.

Sincerely,
Wendy The Super Librarian

P.S. - You can expect another letter next week about heroines constantly licking their lips. Is it so hard to write in a tube of ChapStick? Just saying.

The Goose And The Gander

It's fairly well known (probably because I mention it often enough on this blog) that I became a reader thanks to mystery and suspense novels. I love 'em to bits. As much as I adore romance, reading a crackin' good suspense novel is a bit like coming home for me. Chalk it up to being comfort food for my brain.

I'm a huge Tess Gerritsen fangirl, namely thanks to her Jane Rizzoli series. While I wasn't too keen on the last entry (The Mephisto Club), I was still anxious to read The Bone Garden. Gerritsen has taken a break from her series (although Dr. Isles has a cameo) and plunged herself into the world of historical fiction. Needless to say, I was intrigued.

Plot Description:

Present day: Julia Hamill has made a horrifying discovery on the grounds of her new home in rural Massachusetts: a skull buried in the rocky soil—human, female, and, according to the trained eye of Boston medical examiner Maura Isles, scarred with the unmistakable marks of murder. But whoever this nameless woman was, and whatever befell her, is knowledge lost to another time. . . .

Boston, 1830: In order to pay for his education, Norris Marshall, a talented but penniless student at Boston Medical College has joined the ranks of local “resurrectionists”—those who plunder graveyards and harvest the dead for sale on the black market. Yet even this ghoulish commerce pales beside the shocking murder of a nurse found mutilated on the university hospital grounds. And when a distinguished doctor meets the same grisly fate, Norris finds that trafficking in the illicit cadaver trade has made him a prime suspect.

To prove his innocence, Norris must track down the only witness to have glimpsed the killer: Rose Connolly, a beautiful seamstress from the Boston slums who fears she may be the next victim. Joined by a sardonic, keenly intelligent young man named Oliver Wendell Holmes, Norris and Rose comb the city—from its grim cemeteries and autopsy suites to its glittering mansions and centers of Brahmin power—on the trail of a maniacal fiend who lurks where least expected . . . and who waits for his next lethal opportunity.

Unfortunately the proceedings turned out to be a mixed bag for me, namely because I felt the pacing was uneven. It takes forever for this book to go anywhere. We have lots of description and very little dialogue amongst the cast of characters. I suspect what happened is that Gerritsen got swept up in setting the stage. She does a great job - 1830s Boston leaps off the page, along with her portrayal of the medical profession during that time - but in exchange I felt the characters needed more attention. For my money, the quickest way to get to know a character is through dialogue - but admittedly that's only my perception (hey, I'm no writer - just a librarian).

Luckily, at the halfway point, things do get cooking and the pages fly by. There's more at stake and the dead bodies begin piling up. Then the ending shows up and pretty much pisses me off.

Contrary to literary opinion, genre fiction is not "all the same." Romance is not the same as mystery/suspense. I "expect" different things out of each genre. What's good for the goose, isn't necessarily good for the gander. But Gerritsen does something here that highly annoys me. Yes, I know she doesn't write romance anymore - but the ending was too much. I felt it was too much misery to heap on the characters. Does the book end happily? Depends on your definition of happy. The crime is solved, the fiend punished, but Rose lives with consequences I don't think she should have to live with. Certainly the author met her "obligation" for writing a suspense novel. Crime solved, criminal gets his - but this reader got greedy. I wanted it to be perfect - and the author has chosen to write the ending much like real life - it's never perfect. I get it, but I don't have to like it. Just saying.

Oh, neither here nor there, I wish there had been more closure in the "present day" storyline. Like, I don't know, Julia shooting her ex-husband in the balls. Just saying.

Final Verdict? This one was firmly in B territory until the ending. I might have mentioned it already, but the ending ticked me off so Final Grade = C+

Doesn't Everybody Do This?

From today's Shelf Awareness:

"Do longer TV commercials increase reading time? USA Today reported that Fox Sports cameras spotted Stephen King reading The Ghost by Robert Harris between innings during the Red Sox-Indians playoff game Friday at Fenway Park. "King told reporter Chris Myers on-air that he 'could read 18 pages between innings normally. But now that Fox is doing the games, I can read 27 pages between commercial breaks.' Not a bad idea for home viewers."

Ain't that the truth? Not only does Fox have the longest commercial breaks in the western world, they also believe in airing said commercials about 500 decibels louder than the actual program you're watching. Thank God for the mute button.

Where Do All The Books Go?

I know it's hard to believe, what with my massive TBR mountain range, but I actually keep very few books once I get around to reading them. Nothing is sacred. I've even been known to unload autographed copies after I read them. I suspect it's the ruthless weeding mentality I honed once I began working as a professional librarian. Nothing is too good to eventually get tossed the curb.

Which got me thinking about what other people do. You know, those other people whose book addiction rivals my own. I know some readers keep darn near everything and my question is: Where the Hell do you put it all? Honestly. I barely have room for my unread books. Guess it's a good thing that I only keep the keepers - and long-time readers should know by now that I'm notoriously finicky when it comes to ranking a book as a keeper. Heck, I have one half-full Rubbermaid tote of read books I can't bear to part with, and about six totes jammed full of the stuff I haven't gotten around to reading yet. We'll ignore the few newer additions I have stacked in various unpacked-away piles. Denial, denial, denial.

But I like to fool myself into thinking I'm making progress. So here's what I do with unwanted books:

• Offer them up on a book trading e-mail loop I'm on

• Take 'em to the used bookstore

• Sell 'em on Amazon (I just started doing this and who-ha! What took me so long? I've sold 6 books in the last week)

• Offer them up to the So. Cal. bloggers

• Send the readable erotica to my younger sister

• Donate to the library

• Unclaimed ARCs hit the garbage

So what do you do? Do you horde every book you've ever read? Are you like my sisters and use the public library for 95% of your reading material (therefore effectively avoiding this issue)? Or are you a ruthless weeder like me? C'mon, inquiring minds want to know.

And yeah, this is a lazy post because I'm back to not reading. Seriously, this is the most up-and-down year I've had in recent memory. ::whimper::

Christmas Ho

Dear Harlequin SuperRomance,
I like you. I really like you. But did you have to put a slew of holiday-themed books on your November roster? Don't you know that I recently had to purchase two pairs of plane tickets for our upcoming holiday travel plans? That I'll likely slip into a coma when I open my credit card statement next month? You know what you are? An enabler! Hell, I even want the books that have the satanic toddlers and babies on the covers. There's even an amnesia plot buried in here!

But they're holiday-themed, and I must have them all. Like now. Won't you please think of my bank account?

Silly me, of course you won't.

Sincerely,
Wendy the Super Librarian

P.S. - Oh I can't stay mad at you for long! Besides, I'm on a diet. I'll just stop buying groceries.

Wendy's Inner Child

There's a meme going around amongst the romance bloggers that involves showing off a screen shot of your desktop. Rosie tagged me. I'm going to cheat a bit (OK, a lot) and not post all the gobbly-gook that accompanies the meme. If you're interested check out Rosie's post. Never let it be said that I'm above passing the buck. Here it goes:

This is actually my work desktop, which I figured made the most sense considering I spend 90% of my Internet life on my work computer. I've had this wallpaper up for a long time, but haven't had the heart to change it. 1) It's Curious George and 2) Look how cute, fat and happy he is!

Never let it be said that Wendy acts her age.

Who will I be tagging? No one. I think everyone has been tagged already.

Judith McNaught Hates Librarians

I should have known better. When I saw that Can't Take My Eyes Off of You was slated for a November release date, I should have ordered the damn book at the last possible minute. Did I heed my own advice? Did I pay attention to that niggling voice of doubt? Hell, no! So I naturally ordered copies for work several weeks ago - only to discover that the publication date has since been pushed back to April 29, 2008!

Damn it!

Now I have to notify our acquisitions department to wrangle with Baker & Taylor to ensure the copies I did order aren't "cancelled" (which they typically are if B&T can't fill the order within an allotted time period).

Sidenote: I seriously doubt McNaught hates librarians, the title was meant to be tongue-in-cheek. However I still haven't quite forgiven her for the Water's Edge fiasco from a few years back. That was a huge "problem" book for me at work for the longest time. I kept ordering the damn thing, and it kept getting cancelled. Then I had to explain to library patrons 1) why we didn't have it 2) the latest scuttlebutt about it's publishing schedule and finally 3) why the book with said title was never going to materialize. Seriously, it drove me bat-shit.

It's Raining Men

I know a lot of romance readers who aren't wild about romantic suspense because in their words, "Too much suspense, not enough romance." I'm exactly the opposite. When I read the genre, I like suspense first, romance second. Ann Bruce's first novel, Fall Dead, should fit the bill for those readers who like the genre heavy on the romance. Unfortunately I found aspects of that romance a bit problematic.

NYPD detective Nick Markov's partner has had another fight with his gorgeous, model wife and that means it's up to Nick to roust a drunken Ethan out of the bar and haul his sorry butt home. Parked in front of his partner's high-rise apartment building, Nick is pulling a surly Ethan out of the passenger seat when the sky opens up and a dead body lands smack on top of Nick's SUV. The two guys that flee the scene tell Nick that the swan dive was no suicide.

The dead body is Andrew (Drew) Langan, business mogul and son of one of New York's most prominent families. Needless to say, the heat is on to solve this case and immediate suspicion falls on Augusta Langan, Drew's soon-to-be-ex-wife. But his gut (and his Mr. Happy) tell Nick that she didn't do it. When her life is threatened, his gut (and his Mr. Happy) have confirmation.

Augusta has a traumatic past, and married her best friend for emotional security. Then Drew confesses to an affair and Augusta realizes that their passionless marriage isn't terribly fair to either of them. She wants the divorce, and while Drew doesn't, he's agreed to give it to her. There's oodles of money involved, and naturally Augusta (who is still Mrs. Langan) stands to benefit. Cops tend to follow the money, as does the press. Life becomes Hell rather quickly. Which means relying on the one person who actually thinks she didn't kill her best friend - none other than Detective Nick Markov.

This is a pretty good debut novel, and the author certainly opens it up with a bang. I was immediately intrigued by the suspense angle, and was curious about who wanted Drew dead enough to kill him in such a gruesome fashion. Unfortunately, the romance didn't work as well for me, namely because by page 50 Nick and Augusta are making out like two horny teenagers in his car. He's a cop. She's a suspect. He's shoving his tongue down her throat before he has any "proof" (other than "his gut" and Mr. Happy) that she didn't hire someone to toss her soon-to-be-ex off his penthouse balcony. Then before we get to page 70 he's practically molesting her in a police interrogation room.

Is it hot stuff? Damn skippy! Terribly believable? Hell no.

I also found the timeline a bit problematic. We're talking about a week, and within that time Augusta (remember, traumatized past) decides to chuck her birth control and get down to the business of procreating. She tells Nick, who is all for the idea. I have a hard time believing a woman with Augusta's past would happily think of becoming a baby-making factory after knowing a guy for a week - but hey, that's me.

But the romance isn't an entire wash - there is the chemistry. While Nick and Augusta have a tendency to bicker early on, once they're past that the sex practically sends the pages up in smoke. Even as a reader who wasn't convinced of their twu-wuv, I totally got the lust. Hot dog!

It's the suspense that's really interesting here, but frankly it's hard to remain disinterested with such an imaginative opening chapter. Suspense relies heavily on "hooks." You've got to have a crime that will "grab" the reader or what's the point in reading the whole story? And that's why I kept reading. Even though the romance left me lukewarm, I had to know who killed Drew Langan and why they threw him off his balcony. But I'm a morbid girl by nature.

I found some of the transitions in the writing a bit awkward, but I suspect it was more due to the formatting than the author. I read a print edition from Cerridwen Press (it's also available as an ebook) and they didn't clearly mark page/paragraph breaks when the focus in the story shifted. Suspense stories often employ head-hopping, as Bruce does here, and the style can work, but the publisher really needs to toss in those page breaks. Just saying.

Final Verdict? Good suspense, so-so romance. Final Grade = B-

Cold Hard Bitch

I was having a discussion recently with a fellow blogger who posed this question:

Can you review a book you didn't like if you "know" the author?

This is a question I think a lot of reader bloggers struggle with, because first and foremost, we're fans. We love the genre. We love to support authors. We love to talk books. And some people just find it hard to slam a book they hated after they've met the author who is just the sweetest person on the planet, dontcha know.

Me? I don't have this problem. To which this fellow blogger mused (jokingly) that I was hard-hearted.

I'm not, I just have my own code of ethics. Let me try to explain.

I've always been able to separate The Book from The Author. In fact, I prefer it this way. I hate when lines are blurred - which is why I tend to get annoyed with freaky rabid fangirl behavior. I like my reality in one box, and my entertainment (fiction) in another box. They can be in the same storage unit, but that's about it. For me the book is a commodity. It's a product that one buys and consumes - sorta like a loaf of bread. Certainly books can enrich my life, but like a loaf of bread, I don't always like every brand that's on the market.

Another thing (and this is worth repeating): The Book Is Not The Author. I even think that some authors tend to forget this. Calling the book "her baby." Railing against ignorant reviewers. Posting on reader blogs that the reader was just "too stupid" to understand how beautiful the author's "baby" was.

Puhleeze

I know writing a book is hard work. If it wasn't hard work, everybody would do it. But let's keep it in perspective shall we? Raising a child is one thing, writing a book another entirely. I'm sorry, they ain't on the same level and you won't be able to convince me otherwise (code for: don't even try).

Does that mean I am without any tact whatsoever?

Hell no. I do have my rules.

For instance, I'm all for posting on my blog about how much I hated a book - but I'm talking about the book. I'll say the heroine was an idiot, the hero was a Neanderthal, there were plot holes you could drive a truck through, and was the cutesy toddler with a lisp really necessary? Notice there's not one single mention of the author here?

Also, while I'm all for spewing forth my loathing on my forum, I would never, ever, ever e-mail an author personally and say, "Cripes, you're a hack. This book sucked, you can't write worth a damn and oh, by the way, your feet stink." This is just rude behavior in my opinion. My forum is one thing. The author has to do the work to find me. Showing up at their house? Another entirely. This includes author blogs, author message boards or any other forum run by said author. These sort of promotional tools tend to be very fan oriented anyway, and personally I don't go out of my way looking for flame wars. That's me though.

Likewise, if I've read an author's book(s) and hated it, then meet said author I never say, "Hello, I'm a reviewer and I thought your last book sucked donkey balls." In fact, I tend to never mention I'm a reviewer, period. I just don't. A lot of authors aren't wild about "us", and again (being a wuss), I like to avoid uncomfortable moments when humanly possible. That, and I get a lot more love by saying, "Hello, I'm a librarian." Seriously, everybody loves librarians.

Do I feel guilty giving a crappy review to an author I've met before? Certainly. I love to go to booksignings, so it's happened more than once to me. I read a book, hated the book, meet the author and she's so bloody nice! I feel like a shit-heel for a while, but I get over it. Again, The Book Is Not The Author.

But I'm hard-hearted like that.

The Break Is Over

Back in July I announced my retirement from The Romance Reader claiming burn-out. I was burnt-out, and technically still am - from that kind of review commitment. But it will still probably strike some of you a little odd that if you head over to Paperback Reader today you'll find a big announcement.

Yes, I'm their new reviewer.

After throwing off the yoke of reviewing, why did I agree to this insanity? Well it all started when I won a contest they were having. Pick a book you'd like to read, we'll send it to you, and all you have to do is review it for us. Well I "won," and that's when the shameless flattery started. Seriously, that's all it took. So after much discussion with The First Wendy (PBR's Wendy Duren), I said, "Sure! Why the Hell not?"

I think this will be a very good fit for me. It gives me another review forum (besides my blog), they have a very relaxed schedule and (this was a deal breaker) I can review "older" books. Yes kids, that means I can read through books I already have languishing in my TBR and have another place to post reviews. This should make KristieJ extremely happy given that she spent our entire time at RWA Dallas nagging me incessantly ("Wendy, Wendy, Wendy!") over all the "great" books I still have lying about, but haven't read. I know, I know. I have issues.

Right now I don't know how often you'll see me over at PBR. I'm going to shoot for once a month, and see what happens. But do check out the blog, because it's really very cool. Where else can you see romance authors reviewing romance novels?

My intro is here (again, shameless flattery works wonders) and my first review is here. Stop on by now, ya hear?

Final Baseball Chatter Of The Season

I promise.

By now we all know that Wendy's Tigers did not make the playoffs. Don't feel sorry for me, I've had time to get used to it. But it doesn't mean the entire season was a wash, and there were actually very many good highlights:

• Magglio Ordonez's Incredible Year - Maggs won the American League batting title having wrapped up the regular season with a .363 batting average, 139 RBIs, and 54 doubles. He would easily be the MVP if it weren't for the gaudy year gAy-Rod put up with the Yankees (54 homeruns, 156 RBIs, maintaining his douchey-ness). What tended to get lost in the Great MVP Debate this year is that Magglio did all this after coming back from the knee injury from Hell. By all accounts he shouldn't be walking around normally, let alone playing baseball. And I don't care what anyone says, Best Hair In Baseball (but I'm the girl who always wanted naturally curly hair).

• Curtis Granderson's 20-20-20-20 year - That's 20 doubles, 20 triples, 20 homeruns, and 20 stolen bases. Only the third player in history to do it and the first one since the Willie Mays. For those idiots out there who whined "Well he plays in Comerica that's why he has so many triples!" it ended up being a damn near even split (morons). 10 triples in Yellowstone, 13 on the road.

• Carlos Guillen made it to 102 RBIs and played a very competent first base (I actually like him better at first than at shortstop) all while nursing his notoriously bad knees.
  

• Placido Polanco is, I think, still one of the more underrated players in the game and the kind of player I love to watch. He doesn't hit 50 homeruns (and never will), but always tries to find a way to get the ball in play. This year he got to 200 hits.

• Justin Verlander's no-hitter. In a year when our pitching was our downfall, this was the one highlight. Nothing more exciting than a no-hitter unless it's a perfect game (no hits, no walks, no errors).

• Pudge Rodriguez is now third on the list for most games "caught." He also caught Verlander's no-hitter.

All this great stuff and the Tigers didn't make the playoffs? Well yeah. That's what happens when you have injuries and your pitching decides to meltdown. Let's not talk about my pitchers this year. It's too depressing.

Other baseball highlights - I am so not a National League girl, but congratulations to Jimmy Rollins for getting triple #20 and thereby matching Granderson's feat this season. Nobody's done it since Mays and now two players do it in the same season. Pretty darn awesome.

Congratulations for former Tigers Dimitri Young and Carlos Pena for winning Comeback Player Of The Year honors. Both left Detroit under a cloud - Young for his multitude of personal problems, Pena for his inconsistent play (He'd hit 3 homeruns in one game, then go on a 0-25 slump). Sometimes all ya need is a change of scenery.

Congratulations to former Tigers Alan Trammell (bench coach for Cubs), Craig Monroe (traded to Cubs) and Kirk Gibson (bench coach for Diamondbacks) for making the playoffs.

And speaking of the playoffs, here it goes. I wasn't going to root for the Indians because they're in the Tigers division (it just feels disloyal) and they have a slugger whose nickname is "Pronk." Worst. Nickname. In. Baseball. It's just stoopid. But they're playing the Yankees in the first round, so obviously the gods are conspiring against me. Go Indians!

My teams for the playoffs will be the Angels (I live in Southern California, I can't help it) and the Cubs (because I'm a masochist). But honestly? I see the Yankees winning the World Series. My original thought back when they were a gazillion games out of first place (way back in May) was that they would make the playoffs, but not get very far. Now? I think they win it. But it all hinges on how well their pitching does and if gAy-Rod can maintain his stellar season - and history isn't on his side. They don't call him "Mr. April" for nothing.

Now that's a good baseball nickname.

I'm Hopeless

After calling in sick on Friday, I got into the office today to discover some ARCs had arrived in my absence. One of which was the upcoming Scarpetta novel by Patricia Cornwell.

Say it with me now: Squeeeeeeeee!

This is the bad thing about being a librarian. The last Cornwell book I outright enjoyed was Black Notice (5 books ago). I stopped buying my own copy after I damn near threw Blow Fly through a wall, but I'm a librarian. Literally thousands of books at my fingertips that I don't have to buy. Which means I keep reading series I should probably give up on because I'll just end up borrowing it from work. It's an insidious cycle I tell you.

I can't believe one of my coworkers didn't snap this up in my absence last week. Which just goes to show I'm not the only one who has been disappointed in the last couple of books.

I was rather high up on the holds list for this one, but now with an ARC in my hot little hands, I got to delete myself off the list. I always feel guilty (as a staff member) borrowing "in demand" books, so to compensate, when I get one I check it out and read it as fast as humanly possible (usually in a matter of days). Now I don't have to. I can get to this one at my leisure, although I'll still be reading it during the month of October.

For the rest of you hopeless types, official laydown date is October 23.