Dirty, Dirty Liar

OK, I know I said I would post a list of the books I got at RWA.

I lied.

I can't do it. I'm sorry.

Why?

I got 119 books. No joke - 119.

How many of these did I pay for?

Guess.

Go on, guess.

13. That's right - 13. All the others I picked up as freebies at the Librarian's Day event or at one of the four publisher signings I attended. I got signed books from various Berkley, Avon, Pocket and Ballantine authors. I'm actually glad I left the conference a day early - as four more publishers were hosting signings today. I only drive a Honda Civic for cripes sake - and it ain't even a hatchback.

Many of the titles I got were duplicates I already had at home - but I'm such an indiscriminate book slut that I grabbed any and all freebies I could get my grubby mitts on. Now all I need to do is find time to sort through them all, weed out my TBR (again) and catalog any leftovers for the library's collection.

I know - cry me a river right? I'm certainly not complaining. I loved getting all these books! But now I have to listen to The Boyfriend. I'm already told him many of them "aren't staying" - and whenever he sees me weed out the TBR it makes him happy.

He's so easy to please.

Show Me The Money

This is how much I like you guys - I'm paying for this Internet session. The Internet provided to us in our hotel room doesn't seem to be working, and I haven't had much time to go bitch about it at the registration desk. So this will merely a "quick" blog entry to entice you all about how much fun I'm having in Reno!

The Librarian's Day Event that RWA puts on is usually very fun - but they really outdid themselves this year with the goodies! Oh. My. Gawd. What did Wendy score? Besides the usual promotional mish-mash I got 26 (that's right 26!) free books. Free! I'm such a whore, I took everything - even stuff I know I'll never read because I can add it straight to my library's collection. I promise, you'll get a list when I'm not paying for Internet!

And as I've talked about before in this blog - I'm pretty much the sole supplier to my library's paperback collection. So free books are like manna from heaven.

Even better? The free books aren't done yet! I hope to score some more tomorrow at some special publisher signings.

The massive booksigning they had is always choice - and I was able to restrain myself to 13 books. I did run into Alyssa - and sure enough her cart was chock full. I'm dying to find out how much money she dropped.

Nice authors I've met? Lots really, but as always Susan Grant, Laura Lee Guhrke and Ruth Ryan Langan were just wonderful. Teresa Bodwell, Kate Bridges and Tina Leonard are very sweet. And I begged Maggie Osborne not to retire (my exact words were "Why do you want to spend time with your family?!"). She thanked me for my kind words, but I'm afraid I was unable to sway her. Sorry Osborne fans!

On a final note: Maggie Osborne tells a wonderful story about getting her first library card as a child and her relationship with her grandmother. I heard it for the second time at this conference, and I openly wept - again. I tend to bitch a whole lot about my job and the various BS I put up with, but stories like Ms. Osborne's reinforce that librarians do marvelous work and change lives every day. Sometimes it is hard to forget that when you have a totally insane library patron screaming at you. So I'm going to do my best to think of the little girl who came in last week and was so excited that we had the fairy tale book Thumbelina. Even if I didn't change her life, I made her very happy. Quiet moments like that make my job worthwhile - it's just hard to focus on those when the negative tends to slap you in the face a little harder.

The Last Post?

Tomorrow morning I'm leaving for RWA in Reno! Cross your fingers that California traffic doesn't kick me in the ass, will ya?

I wasn't planning on updating my blog this week, but turns out the woman I'm carpooling and rooming with has a laptop. Bless her heart! So assuming we can figure out the wireless connection (hey, we're both librarians - we should get it to work), I'm going to try to post some juicy tidbits about the conference.

In the meantime, happy reading and see ya in Reno!

Fanatics

Kristie has an interesting post about "weird fans" over at her blog, which led to start thinking (do I smell smoke?) about authors who have completely psychotic fans. And what the heck - I'm going to name names.

Wendy's List of Authors Who Have Wacko Fans

• Sherrilyn Kenyon - Dark Hunter fans scare the Hell out of me. Seriously, y'all do.
• Christine Feehan - Dark series fans scare the Hell out of me. And is it just me or are her heroes cardboard cut-outs with different names? They all read the same to me.
• Laura Kinsale - She's brilliant! The most lyrical, poetic writer ever! If you don't like Kinsale you're a stupid, stupid moron who cannot appreciate brilliant, lyrical, poetic writing!
• Loretta Chase - Rinse and repeat Kinsale fan description
• Mary Balogh - Rinse and repeat Kinsale fan description.

Wendy's Verdicts on Books Written by Above Authors

• Kenyon - never read. Have read books by her Kinley MacGregor pseudonym and liked them in a historical wallpaper sort of way.
  
• Feehan - read one of the GhostWalker books and hated it with a burning passion
• Kinsale and Chase - have books in TBR that I'm scared to read for fear I won't just LUV them and their fans will start stalking me.
• Balogh - read one of the Slightly books, liked it, found it pleasant. Nothing super-fantastic special, but a good read.

Which makes me wonder? Do these rabid fans scare the Hell out of the authors? I mean seriously, they scare the H out of me, and I'm not the object of their affection. Do y'all have restraining orders? Color me curious.

And notice how all the authors I listed write either paranormals or historicals? I wonder if that's significant or not. Maybe because there is a niche market for those particalus sub genres? It's something to ponder anyway, along with the fact that I currently can't think of any contemporary authors that have scary fans.

Baseball Talk

Well suspensions have been handed down for the recent Detroit Tigers/Kansas Shitty (uh City) Royals brawl. I'm not going to argue much about this except:

Hello?! Carlos Guillen got fined!!!!!

The guy got beaned in the head for cripes sake! He didn't do anything wrong!

OK, so he went towards the mound but....

He got beaned in the head!

Relax Wendy, relax.

In semi related news - the lesson we should have all learned from this is to not f*ck with Kyle Farnsworth. I don't care if he is a hot-head, he's my new hero.

Reading Roll

I just finished my 10th book for the month of July. Man, I just tear right through 'em when I ain't reviewing 'em. Go figure.

The Midwife's Secret by Kate Bridges is a Harlequin Historical title from 2003. Bridges is one of those authors who has scores of books in my TBR - yet this is the first one I've read. I have a nasty habit of doing that. Collecting backlists before I even read one book.

This one was pretty good, and blessedly Bridges avoids one of Wendy's Huge Pet Peeves. More on that in a bit.

Amanda Ryan is looking to start over, so she buys a small piece of property and moves to Banff, Alberta Canada. While her grandmother thinks she should be honest with their new neighbors, Amanda isn't real keen on her past getting out. See, she's divorced. Her no-good, rotten husband dumped her after their baby was born stillborn and Amanda became barren. Also, Amanda is a midwife - and her perspective patients might be slightly turned off by the idea of a divorced, barren midwife. Go figure.

Tom Murdock runs the local sawmill and has just learned that his no-good partner has swindled him. With no money left in his accounts, he's scrapping by just trying to make payroll. Then Amanda shows up waiving around a deed to a property he owns! At least, he used to own it.

Tom and Amanda eventually set the matter somewhat to rights and she hires him to build her a cabin on her new property. He agrees, and quickly becomes entranced by this strong, independent woman. But what will happen when he learns The Midwife's Secret?

Blessedly, Bridges doesn't drag this secret out for the whole novel. It's pretty much out in the open by page 50, which gives the characters a chance to work through it, fall in love and live happily ever after. There's also the small matter of the external conflict - Tom's wayward girlfriend and his swindling business partner.

What I loved about this book is Bridges makes her heroine truly barren. One of my major pet peeves is when the heroine just thinks she's barren/infertile, then the hero comes along, slips her the big one and viola! She's knocked up thanks to the hero's incredible super sperm!

Admittedly, I'm more forgiving of this kind of nonsense in historicals since women's reproductive health is a modern concept - but man, I just hate it when it crops up in contemporaries. It's like the author is pushing the agenda that You're Not A Real Man Unless You Knock Up A Woman. Or You're Not A Real Woman Unless You're Squirting Out Babies Every Year.

Hate it, hate it, hate it.

Can you tell I really dislike this theme?

But Bridges' heroine doesn't have a uterus - so there are no miracle babies in this story. Thank Gawd. Instead, the characters are left to deal with this fact.

So thank you Ms. Bridges for not insulting my intelligence. I love it when authors don't do that.

Library Stories

Yesterday was a full rich day, culminating in Wendy getting the snow job of a lifetime.

I put a stop on this woman's library card a couple of weeks back when I caught someone else using her card to access additional Internet time. Well she came in, card in hand, and demanded to know who was using her card!

Now, I would have loved to have told her this - since the guy who was using her card is a major creep, but my better judgment sadly prevailed.

Then this woman said that hey, those 11 books she has checked out on her card? Why, she never checked those out!

So short of jumping across the desk and strangling her, I marked all the books lost and changed her library card number.

What does Wendy think is really going on? This woman's creepy brother is using her card to access additional Interent time and she did check out all those books.

Of course, I cannot prove this, since both this woman and Creepy Man have an extremely common last name for the area where I work (sort of like Smith). I'm merely assuming they are related. And no one can check out books without having their library card. We're very strict on that. So unless someone stole the card from her purse, checked out a whole bunch of books, then secretly returned the card to her purse - well she checked them out dagnabit.

In other library news, my children's librarian managed to convince The Big Boss to come and read at our storytime this afternoon. He did a very good job actually, and it's always nice when the administration stops by to see us in action. You know, with kids running around, books lying all over the place, and library patrons screaming at us that we're incompetent.

Can you tell I'm ready for RWA in Reno? After my Saturday shift I'll be officially on vacation....

Just Call Me Your Highness

Clever gals that they are, those wacky Smart Bitches have the best contests. The latest was to name Smart Bitch Candy's new car - and I won!

Just call me:


Isn't that like the best name ever? Seriously. Bet all those losers I dated in college are sorry now.

Aren't ya?

Dental Hell & Current Read

I am so sick of seeing my dentist I could just scream.

A word of advice: Do not put off going to the dentist - even if you don't have dental insurance. Find a dental hygentist school in your area and at least get your teeth cleaned (I had mine done once for $15!).

I think I'm finally down to only 2 more appointments. Gum check-up and cleaning today, and I need 2 fillings replaced on my right side still. Ugh.

In more pleasant news, I'm reading through some of my TBR. I bought Winter Woman by Jenna Kernan back in 2003 - her debut western with Harlequin Historicals. It's pretty good so far.

Cordelia Channing survived a Rocky Mountain winter alone. Her preacher husband went hunting and wound up dead. Some friendly Indians find her half-starved and knowing only one white man in the area, they take her to Thomas Nash.

Nash is a trapper and the last thing he wants is to take in Cordelia. But the woman is half-starved and he can't say no. He promises to take her back East when weather permits.

A couple of really nice things so far. One, the time period. The last few westerns I've read have been post-Civil War, not that there is anything wrong with that, but reading one that takes place in 1835 is a nice switch. The Rockies are still largely uncivilized, and the story features unsettled areas.

I also like that Kernan has made the story gruesome. That's probably not the right word, but the couple is battling the wilderness. Heck, the heroine has already learned about trapping and has had to skin a grizzly bear. I'd say this has largely been a story of survival thus far, and quite frankly, I'm finding that interesting. How this mild-mannered preacher's wife from Ohio could survive on her own is sure to be told in more detail as she keeps a journal. I suspect the hero will be sneaking peaks at it soon.

Drive By Post

We have three programs scheduled today at the library, which means by 6PM I'll probably be ready for my lobotomy.

In the meantime, my latest column is up at Romancing The Blog.

OK, I'm Tired Now

I've been short-staffed one librarian the last two days. In the middle of our summer reading program no less.

I am exhausted.

I manage a small city library. "Small" being the code word for "Not A Lot Of Staff." When one person is out sick, it makes life interesting - but we still manage. When two people are out sick, I'm screaming for reinforcements.

I did manage to keep my eyes open long enough though to finish Not A Girl Detective by Susan Kandel on my lunch break today.

Eh.

OK, let me say upfront that I loved Kandel's debut, I Dreamed I Married Perry Mason. The heroine is an older single woman (older being 40ish here), who writes biographies of dead mystery writers for a living. Naturally murder and mayhem ensue.

Perry Mason was great because while the book is sort of a cozy, the subject matter of Erle Stanley Gardner gave it a crime noir edge. In Girl, the subject is Nancy Drew and Carolyn Keene. Hey, I grew up with Nancy - so I should love this book right?

Well the problem here was the writing. I just didn't find it as polished as the debut. Maybe the author had less time to work on this 2nd novel? Who knows. Also, I found the narrative a little herky-jerky (how's that for a technical term?). There wasn't a good flow between chapters so it gave the story a choppy feel. Also, while it was a bonus in Perry Mason, the heroine's romance with a local cop felt more like a distraction in Girl.

Will I read the next book? Probably. Although I'll likely put myself on the request list at work instead of buying my own copy....

Good Book Alert

First, a hearty thank you for all the birthday well wishes. Honestly, I'm feeling pretty good about it all. Between the hair cut (4 inches - poof!), seeing my sister and getting jewelry from The Boyfriend it wasn't a bad day. Rubies have a way of cheering a girl up - well this girl anyway.

For those keeping score on The Boyfriend's excellent gift giving skills, the "rubies" are a pendant necklace, earrings and ring. A lovely set, I assure you.

I also just wrapped up a very good book this evening - but then again it was written by Cheryl St. John and I'm beginning to think the woman is incapable of writing a dud. His Secondhand Wife is a July 2005 Harlequin Historical title.

Noah Cutter has just learned that his younger half-brother is dead. While Noah loved Levi, Levi had a bit of a reputation. When a jealous husband shoots you after catching you in bed with his wife - well, it doesn't say much about your character now does it? So Noah goes to collect Levi's body, only to discover that he was married. Not only did he eventually abandon Katherine, he left her pregnant.

Noah feels obligated to take Katherine in, and since her only other option is to keep slaving away in a laundry and living with her shrew mother, she accepts his offer. Determine to earn her keep, she is stymied by the life of privilege she now finds herself living. Noah is a very successful rancher, although he's a hermit of sorts. Horribly scarred in an accident he has distanced himself from others. However he soon finds himself wildly attracted to Katy, and he's not sure what to do about it. I mean, he's not smooth, confident and charming like Levi. He's damaged goods and doesn't know the first thing about women.

I tend to whine a lot about the current state of American historicals. Pamela Morsi and Susan Wiggs have succumbed to The Dark Side (OK, women's fiction) and Maggie Osborne had to go and retire! But we still have St. John, and if you aren't reading her books - um, why not? She has a knack for writing the sweetest love stories and crafting likeable characters. The love scenes in this story are particularly poignant, as Noah is afraid he'll either repel Katy or make her feel pity for him.

In turn, Katy wants to feel needed and useful to Noah - but he keeps brushing her off. Not because he doesn't need her, but because he's determined to care and pamper her.

St. John also writes credible villains - mostly nasty mother characters that never become tedious. There's always a flipside to them. Here it's Levi's mother (Noah's stepmother) who mourns her son, is always concerned with propriety, and dismisses Noah because he's not her son. But you know, she's not rotten to the core. By the end you really understand how and why she is the way she is.

I strongly recommend this one. While not a keeper on the level of Prairie Wife, this is still a very nice read. My final verdict? A very solid B.

Growing Up

I have a full rich weekend planned, but wanted to announce that Saturday is the big day.

I will be turning 30 years old. While it's tempting, I don't think I'll spend the day sobbing uncontrollably into my pillow.

Instead my younger sister is currently a scant 40 miles north of me. Of course in California traffic that means about 3 hours away. So after I get a much needed haircut this morning, I'll be driving up there to pick her up. She's going to be the first relative to test out our new sofa bed. And she'll make my birthday more bearable. She better damnit or she's sleeping in the car.....

I'll be back to posting on Monday - definitely older, probably not much wiser.

London Calling

Before I became a mild-mannered librarian, I was a mild-mannered British history student. I have a BA degree collecting dust in my closet to prove it too.

Why do I love the British so much? I mean, besides the whole tea thing?

Well they were the first modern empire. The first empire to really cope with the Industrial Revolution and the birth of modern technology. I find the triumphs and failures of the British to be spectacularly (is that a word?) fascinating.

Two things stay with me about my years reading up on World War II:

• For pete's sake, don't invade Russia then get stuck there for the winter.

• Don't bomb the British. It's just a bad idea.

Whomever is behind these recent attacks obviously isn't reading their history. Not a good idea boys. One thing I've learned about the British over the years is that they're a helluva lot tougher than they look. Damn skippy, just check out the riots at soccer (sorry, football) games!

My heart goes out to you Britain. I'm tipping my mug of Earl Grey in salute. Be strong, be brave, and continue to be resilient.

Disappointed

So I stole a few quiet moments here at work to finish up A Stranger's Wife by Maggie Osborne.

I hate to be a piss-pot, but I was disappointed.

Lily Dale has spent 5 years in prison for her part in an armed robbery. Then miracle of miracles, she finds herself getting released early! Of course, there's a catch. The catch is the hero, who secured her early release in order for her to impersonate his missing wife. Quinn Westin is on his way to being the first governor of the new state of Colorado. Then his wife goes and vanishes. It's a scandal that Quinn cannot afford, so his hired henchman finds a spitting image of the missing Miriam. But how do they go about turning rough Lily Dale into the very picture of a lady?

OK, I liked Lily. I know some readers who found her a bit rough around the edges - but I found her interesting. Sure she's done some bad things in her past, but she's paying for her mistakes. I also love how she dresses down the male gender for "taking advantage of women" for "their own selfish gains."

My problem was with the hero - who comes off too ambitious and deceitful for my tastes. In fact, he's a world class sonofabitch. The entire conflict of this story centers around his lies. And he's lying for his own personal gain - he wants to be governor. I also found myself feeling sorry for his wife, Miriam. Without giving too much away, it's hard to think much of a hero when he plays a big role in the demise of his first marriage. Miriam isn't without sin - but she's so weak-willed that it's hard to chastise her too harshly.

But as usual, Osborne can write. In fact, even when I'm not blown away be one of her books (another that comes to mind is Shotgun Wedding), she still writes a story that makes me stop and think. While I didn't love A Stranger's Wife, it's still a book capable of staying with me for days. I guarantee I'll think back and ponder it.

Whining 101

I love people who:

• Want something for nothing
• Then don't understand why there are rules when something is for nothing

Once again I'm fantasizing about what life was like before librarians had to deal with public Internet terminals. Again, a good idea - in theory.

I had a guy come in tonight who thought he was "normal." Trust me, nuttier than a fruitcake. Give me a schizophrenic taking his meds any day of the week. At least they know they're crazy. Anyway, back to this guy, he didn't understand why we required people to have library cards to access our computers. Then he didn't understand why we only allowed them one hour a day - and why we wouldn't grant additional time if no one was waiting in line.

My pat answer? Because others have abused our policies in the past so now we must be hard asses.

OK, I didn't phrase it quite like that.

What I really wanted to say was, "Ever heard of the expression that there's no such thing as a free lunch?"

It's always the Internet policy people question. It's never about books. I'd kill for a patron to ask me "Why can I only check out 50 books on my card?!"

Nope, they only question why they can only check out 3 DVDs or 5 VHSs.

It's obvious my long weekend off from work wasn't nearly long enough.

Guilty Pleasures

Every romance reader has a guilty pleasure author. An author we have a hard time admitting we enjoy - because deep down we know we shouldn't. Mine is Thea Devine. Yes, I know her plots are a convoluted mess. Yes, I know her writing has a tendency to get - um - creative, and her characters have little to no redeemable qualities.

I know all this and I still don't give a rat's ass.

Which brings me to my point (yes, I do have one). Melissa MacNeal. I just wrapped up Demon's Dare, a Black Lace novel I've had languishing in the TBR since my last big smut buying spree a couple of years ago. Man, was this book twisted. It was written with such an over-the-top gleefulness that it reminded me a lot of some of Devine's better books. Family Secrets Gone Highly Sexed, if you will.

Where to begin? Oh, it's 1895 and our heroine, Vanita Wells is wrapping up finishing school. Then a scoundrel comes calling and informs her that he is taking her back home to Kentucky where her guardian (an aunt) is lying on her death bed. Vanita is not terribly pleased with this turn of events, since the scoundrel in question, Pearce Truman, was just moments ago occupying his time with the school's headmistress (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).

So after some playful shenanigans (boy howdy!), the two arrive back on the family horsefarm only to find out that Auntie Dearest isn't dying and has in fact sold Vanita down the river to the villain to cover her gambling debts.

Don't you hate it when that happens?

So now Vanita is under the thumb of Franklin Harte, who wants Vanita to turn his freaky son into a man. Except Damon isn't terribly interested in girls - except for his twin sister.

Yeah, you read that right - the twins are really close.

It would be disgusting (OK, it is) if it weren't so gleefully over-the-top.

So now Vanita must decide who she can trust and figure out a way to not end up marrying Damon or being sexually molested by creepy Franklin.

I'm really not doing this story justice. I'm sure it all sounds rather sick. And really, if it wasn't written like a sexed-up soap opera gone haywire, it would be sick. But MacNeal has a way of making the trashy fun and not terribly disturbing. At times she does go a tad overboard (Damon invents a lot of pleasurable toys), but dang if this wasn't one hell of a train wreck.

Every now and then we all need a book like this. Whether it be Jackie Collins, Thea Devine or Melissa MacNeal. Man was this book a trip! Certainly not for the faint of heart, but dang if I haven't found a new guilty pleasure.

Diet And Book Updates

And so we conclude week 7 of Wendy's Diet From Hell. How's it going?

Drumroll please.....

I've lost 10 pounds! Yes, I finally stepped on a scale last week. So what have been my "secret" tricks?

• No fast food. None. Yes, I know you can get salads at fast food places, but it's for the best if I don't even enter the parking lot. Otherwise I'll end up ordering a double cheeseburger and large fries.
  

• Salads for my lunch break at work. These salads consist of "salady stuff" along with some grilled chicken (yum, protein!) and a light vinaigrette dressing of some sort. I make this palpable by staring at Paul Newman's hunky face on my bottle of salad dressing while eating.

• Deny, deny, deny. Some people can do portion control - and good for them. Me? Forget it. It's just better if I don't have that ice cream in my freezer. Instead of one small dish, I'd end up eating the whole half gallon.

Yes, I'm willing to admit I have issues with food.

I also do exercise, but not as much as I should. I've been walking 2 miles at least 3 times a week, although I've been a total slacker this week. Maybe I can make it up this weekend?

As for "bad" foods? Well I haven't given up chocolate. I told The Boyfriend if I denied myself chocolate I'd end up being a danger to myself and others. That, and I haven't given up my tea. I stopped drinking soda in college, but tea is still my one main vice (if you can call it that). I swear I was either British or Chinese in a former life. Asking me to give up tea would be worse than giving up chocolate. You'd end up seeing my mug shot on the 6 o'clock news.

In the middle of running myself ragged with errands and chores this morning I managed to wrap up Drive Me Crazy by Nancy Warren. Eh. It was OK. I liked the banter, the librarian heroine who wasn't a walking stereotype and the secondary romance. The suspense angle about drove me crazy though. Obvious. Very, very, very obvious. It made me question the sanity of all the characters since they were either 1) too stupid or 2) too blind to figure it out.

I hate it when that happens.