The Great Library Card Hunt

I love people who try to work the system.

Where I work, we do have Internet stations for public use. This is a good service to provide - in theory. Most days it's just a pain in the ass. Take Saturday for instance. Our library patrons log onto the computer using their library card number and password. They get one hour a day. Well Saturday we caught a guy who had been on the computer all day long. I immediately kicked him off the terminal, and put a stop on his library card. Unfortunately I could only track down one account number, and to get multiple hours, this guy must have a slew of accounts he's using.

He came in again yesterday and since I put a stop on the one account number I tracked down on Saturday, he had to see me before logging on. I gave him the standard lecture and watched him like a hawk. This guy now knows we're watching, so he took his one hour and left.

Turns out he then hit the library down the street - and the manager there (bless his heart) discovered 3 different library card numbers. He left one valid, removed one from the system completely, and marked the other one as "lost."

I love people like this. I mean, hello?! It's a free service! Also, it's always the creepy library patrons who do this. This guy spends his time checking out dating sites, looking at pictures of pretty girls who are no more than 21.

Ah, the public library! A gateway to education, knowledge and creepy guys.

In other news, I'm reading Drive Me Crazy by Nancy Warren, and while I've read mixed reviews for it, I'm enjoying it so far. Of course, it doesn't hurt that the librarian heroine was wearing a short leather skirt in Chapter 4 either.

Here's a bit of dialouge that had me laughing out loud during my lunch break:

"Have dinner with me tonight," he said, his voice barely his own.

She stifled a smirk of satisfaction. She'd made her point. She loved sex. But did he think she was going to fall into his bed because he had some basic animal appeal? She hoped she had more sense. "No, thank you."

"Are you busy tonight?"

"No. Just not interested."

"You should reconsider. You'll feel a lot less slutty if you go out with me before we have sex."

Well I found it funny anyway.

Good Book Alert

OK, so I just now read Fallen From Grace by Laura Leone.

Yes, I did buy it brand new back in 2003 - and yes, it's been sitting in my TBR for the last 2 years. I have a sickness, and I'm willing to admit that.

But back to the book - man was this good. And I mean really good. Most of the discussion I've heard on this book centers around the unconventional love story, but I was struck by something more. I'm getting ahead of myself though.

Sara Diamond is a former mystery author in a pinch. She's just been dumped by her publisher and her agent (shades of Leone's career me thinks), so she opts to sell her condo, move into a dumpy apartment and work on a new book idea. Still, she's a mite depresssed.

Then she meets her next door neighbor. Ryan Kinsmore would perk up any woman - he's 9 years younger than Sara, funny, charming, sweet (he rescues stray animals!), and he's warm for her form. The problem? Oh, turns out he's a male prostitute working for a high-priced escort service. Minor detail that.

Ryan is almost too good to be true. It's hard to believe a former street kid turned hooker being this fantastically dreamy - but hell, this is a romance novel so who am I to quibble? Sarah is also great, and she gives the author a forum to rant about the world of publishing. Their love story unfolds slowly, and is rather endearing. I did think the book ended a little quickly, but Leone wraps up all her loose ends - even ones I didn't see as critical.

But you know what was really great about this book? The dialouge. Admittedly I'm a dialouge whore, and by the second chapter of this book I was in love. Leone really outdoes herself, especially where Sara and her sister Miriam are concerned. These women talk like sisters. They interact like sisters. They're damn near perfect.

It will probably surprise some (OK, readers who won't go near this book with a 50 foot pole) that this book really isn't about sex. Yes, Ryan is a prostitute - but sex really plays a minor role in this story. He and Sara aren't going at it like horny squirrels. They're falling in love in a rather traditional way - thanks to chemistry, communication and friendship first. Still, Ryan does have sex for a living, so references to his (how should I put this?) unconventional sexual experiences might send traditional romance readers into a tail-spin. But heck, if you read romantica, these mere passing references probably won't even register.

I really, really, really enjoyed this book. Leone seems to be working primarily on fantasy these days. Pity, since her romance voice is so strong. However, even 2 years after this book was published by small press Five Star, I still think books of this type have a tendency to scare the hell out of the romance reading public, publishers and agents more than it excites them.

Merely an observation from my side of the fence. I say, keep 'em coming.

Planning Ahead

I was able to convince my employer to give me "free" time off to attend the RWA conference in Reno in July. Essentially I'll be attending on "work time" and I won't have to use my own personal vacation time.

Pretty cool huh?

The trade off of course is that I needed to justify the trip. So I agreed to do a reader's advisory program for the adult services librarians upon my return. Basically getting up in front of everyone and talking about how totally awesome romance is, and what they can do to help patrons looking for good romance reads.

I'm trying to do some of the work in advance, one of which is a handout of romance-related web sites. That's where you all come in. I mean, I've hit the real obvious places (like Writerspace, eHarlequin, AAR, TRR, Romance In Color), but I'm probably missing some cool off-the-beaten path places. If you have a suggestion, please drop me a note here at the blog.

Muchos gracias amigas!

In other news, I'm finally getting around to reading Fallen From Grace by Laura Leone. In my defense, I did buy this book new back in 2003 - it just took trading it to a fellow reader to force my hand and actually read it. Man, is it great so far! I promise to blog about it more thoroughly once I've finished it. And the best part is, it gave me an idea for my next RTB column set for July 13.

Best Movie Of The Summer. Period.

So The Boyfriend took me to see Batman Begins yesterday.

Oh My God. Loved it! Can't say enough good about it! Squeeee, I'm morphing into crazy fangirl mode over here.

I've always been drawn to Batman as a character for various reasons. He's a superhero with no superpowers. As Bruce Wayne he's emotionally stunted, and as Batman he's an anti-hero. He is a vigilante. Period.

Also, the villains are just plain cool (outside of the Penguin, who just sucks). By and large, like Batman, they have no superpowers. And that is what was so great about Batman Begins - great villains. The Scarecrow has always been one of my favorites, because he messes with your mind. Sorry, nothing is creepier than that.

Speaking of The Scarecrow - check out the total hottie they got to play Dr. Crane. Hubba, hubba. His name is Cillian Murphy - and he's Irish.

My palms are starting to sweat over here.

It about drove me nuts trying to "place him," so I looked it up when I got home. He had a very small part in Cold Mountain. He was one the soldiers who showed up at Natalie Portman's house while Jude Law was there.

Proceed to drool.

Good Book Alert

I've been reviewing since 1999, and within the last year I've noticed a trend. I'm reading a butt-load of paranormals. I'm talking a ton here. Some have been good, some have been bad, and a few have been downright ugly. And just when I think I'm getting burnt out on paranormals, a book like Carved In Stone comes along. Vickie Taylor's previous writing credits are some SIM novels. What lesson has Wendy learned? I need to stop ignoring the SIM line.

As a child, Rachel Vandermere witnessed the murder of her parents. While hiding in a cupboard, she also saw a monster - a real monster with claws and wings. Naturally no one believes Rachel, and after being shuttled between shrinks and foster homes she quickly learns to keep her mouth shut. She ends up growing up to be an Interpol agent, and uses the organizations resources to track down her monsters.

While on assignment in Chicago, she meets Nathan Cross, an art history professor who is obviously hiding something. Turns out he's hiding the fact that he's a gargoyle. Created over centuries ago, gargoyles protect humans from evil. But Nathan has been excommunicated from the order for his unpopular views. He feels gargoyles are no long protectors, but feeding on the scraps of human misery. And now, Rachel wants him to help her track down monsters. What will happen when she learns she's fallen in love with one?

Oh man, is there a lot to like here. Nathan is torn between protecting the order and helping Rachel - so while she digs for the truth, he tries to keep it from her. The city of Chicago is written almost Gotham-like, with Taylor painting it with a wide crime-noir brush. Then there are the suspense plots - which are really very good. Danger lurks in the shadows for the gargoyle order, plus Rachel finds out the truth behind her parents' murders.

I also like the fact that while this is book one in a series, Taylor doesn't beat me over the head with that fact. Sure there are secondary characters here, but they all serve a purpose in this story. They don't strut around doing nothing, looking hot and screaming "My book comes out in October 2006."

In fact, the next gargoyle in line to get his own book is really interesting in that he's flawed. He doesn't think much of Nathan - which adds more conflict.

Honestly, this is a very good book. Every time I think I'm burnt out on paranormals (how many vampires can a girl read about? I mean, really!), a book like this one comes along and slaps some sense into me. I don't read much of this sub genre outside of reviewing, but Taylor's gargoyles have certainly landed on my autobuy list.

Giving Til It Hurts

It's not quite July yet and here is how much I've donated to my library so far:

11 hard cover books = $275.70
4 audio books on CD = $141.86
101 paperbacks = $589.72
Misc. Office Supplies/Giveaways/Prize Incentives = $134.13

Grand Total = $1141.41

Now I could go into a rant about how much librarians are personally donating to make their libraries a better place for their service population - but why not let those numbers speak for themselves hmmm?

The vast majority of the books did end up in our collection - a good thing since I can't remember the last new paperback the library system bought me (oh wait, I think it was To Die For by Linda Howard). Although the box I brought in today mainly contained older series titles that I tried selling on Half.com (and failed for the most part). Those went immediately to the "sell cart" our Friends Of The Library has here in the building. They should go like hot cakes at only $.25 a pop.

And just for Maili's benefit - yes, I started Carved In Stone by Vickie Taylor last night and am nearing the halfway mark. It's very intriguing so far, and I hope to have it finished by Wednesday at the latest. And yes, I promise to blog about it.

In Exile

I'm hiding in the computer room. Why? The Boyfriend is watching boxing.

I just cannot get into boxing. Yes, I do appreciate it as a sport - and I love the history of it - but dang between the greedy promoters (how is it Don King hasn't been shot yet? I mean, honestly?), the mob, and the fact that so many of these men are hung out to dry once their careers are over. Oh, and those idiot commentors on HBO. Gawd I hate those guys.

And if Mike Tyson gets one more fight I just might start screaming and never stop.

But that's another rant entirely.

So here I am in the computer room, listening to my new CDs (Jet's Get Born and STP's Thank You), putzing on the computer. What I should be doing is reading - I have yet to officially start Carved In Stone by Vickie Taylor.

Us Against Them

Anyone else sick and tired of the constant Us Against Them debate raging on blogs and within RWA ranks? The Us and Them, of course, being Every Other Type Of Romance and Erotica/Romantica.

I've largely remained silent on this issue - because unlike many, many, many romance readers, I tend to read across the board. I've been known to read a traditional sweet Silhouette Romance then turn around and read a red hot Black Lace erotica novel. I'm not kidding - I do that sort of thing a lot.

I think it also helps that I'm a librarian. While there is certainly a narrow-minded contingent within the profession - any librarian with his/her salt is going to welcome all types of fiction. I don't judge anything. Oh sure, there's a ton of stuff I personally won't read. Pretty much all literary fiction, science fiction, the vast majority of fantasy, inspirationals - but not for one minute do I think these types of books "need to go." I also never try to convert readers away from their genre of choice because I think they're misguided.

But that's essentially what Every Other Type Of Romance is saying to Erotica. Get out. You're giving us a bad rap. Shoo!

Erotica/Romantica is a fast-growing segment of the market. Every Other Type Of Romance may not like that - but numbers don't lie. Just as inspirationals are a fast-growing segment of the market (actually I find the fact that both segments are taking off to be a rather interesting commentary on American society as a whole - but that's just me). While I don't read inspirationals - I'm not about to dispute the fact that yes, they have a right to coexist peacefully in the RWA/Romance universe. Some readers love them - and hey, good for them!

Just as some readers love erotica/romantica - and good for them too!

Why can't we all just get along?

I think the fear is that Every Other Type Of Romance doesn't want to be confused by that dirty, filthy Erotica.

Well horse hooey.

Naysayers of romance already think the books are nothing but female porn! The rise of Erotica/Romantica didn't start that. The female porn argument has been around since Fabio unveiled his nipples.

What needs to be done is education. You don't like people confusing Every Other Type Of Romance with Erotica/Romantica? Well educate people about the differences - and don't be so frickin' snide about it. You don't like how some people think inspriationals are all preachy God-stuff? Well educate them dagnabit!

We shouldn't be bickering amongst ourselves - it just makes us look ignorant, and it's wasted energy that could be spent promoting the genre as a whole. If we want people to see romance as a viable, interesting and rich genre - then we need to stand together, not divided.

Chicken Little

"Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken." - Chuck Palahniuk

There's a really thought-provoking post over at RTB today thanks to Kassia Krozer about image and how RWA and RT are hurting the cause more than helping.

Anyone and everyone knows that romance novels have an awful image. They're nothing but porn. They're poorly written. They're trite and simplistic. They cause women to have unhealthy expectations in their personal relationships. And worst of all? Those beefcake, cheesetastic covers.

But we've heard that all before - and up until a few months ago, I vehemently defended my choice of reading. Except of course to my family - who never ridicule anything that involves people reading something...anything...it doesn't matter. I know, ain't they just wacky?

You know what though? I'm tired. I mean, I'm just tired of having to defend what I read. Why should I bother? Hell, why should I have to? No other genre comes close to romance in terms of having to defend themselves (OK, maybe science fiction). It's like the romance genre has an inferiority complex. Why not let the sales figures and popularity of the genre speak for itself? Why do we have to constantly stand up and deliver eloquent arguments on why romance novels are a valid form of entertainment and fiction?

Frankly, I'm just starting to tell people to fuck off. Is that wrong?

That said, I do think RWA is barking up the wrong tree. There's been a big push recently to broaden romance, to redefine what a romance novel is, and if you read industry/author blogs this topic has been beaten like the proverbial dead horse.

Now, I'm about to say something unpopular - so brace yourself. I don't think romance should knock itself out to be "all inclusive." It cannot be all things to all people. Romance should concentrate on what it does best - life affirming stories that feature happy endings. Period. I think the big push to "redefine" what the romance novel is, is a way for RWA to say "Hey! Look at us! We're legit! We're 'real books'!"

News flash - romance novels have always been legitimate, real books. Just because some people are too narrow-minded and ignorant to accept that doesn't make it untrue. No matter how you dress up the chicken, it's still going to be a chicken. So even with a flashy all-inclusive definition - the same people who sneer at romance now will continue to sneer.

Frankly, I think time would be better spent on handling the genre with class, intelligence, and dignity. Lead by example - that's my motto. Believe that we are legitimate and no belittling words can hurt us. They are, after all, just words. Sure they may wound, even sting a little, but we know what we like, we know what we have to offer, and bugger off to anyone too simple to figure it out for themselves.

Helping Your Local Library

I'm about to say something truly shocking - so be prepared.

Books can be thrown away. They fit beautifully in most trash cans and in any dumpster.

Really.

Today's gift from the library gods was 3 boxes full of donated books. All of them Chilton auto repair manuals that looked 25 years old and appeared to have been sitting in someone's garage all that time.

I'm talking filthy, black pages. Dirty, dirty, dirty. Hazardous waste material.

You know what I did? Put them on a cart, wheeled them out to the dumpster and tossed them.

Then washed my hands a la Lady MacBeth.

I really need to get a digital camera so I can share this sort of stuff with the general Blog World. My words really do not do justice to some of the stuff that people try to donate to us. And the sad thing is - I can't turn them away. It really is admirable that they want to help the library, and it's my job to encourage that. But honestly people - use a little common sense, OK?

In other news, I got an e-mail this morning from my older sister who was bored at work. She told me that Mom said my blog has been "funny" lately.

See, my Mom thinks I'm cool!

RTB #5 and Oy Vey!

For your consideration, my latest column over at Romancing The Blog.

Ever been really happy to finish a book? I mean, just glad that the pain and horror was finally over? Well I'm experiencing that relief this morning. I'm done with Return To Me by Shannon McKenna!

This book brought my recent trend of tearing through books to a screeching halt. And I feel a bit like a bitch, since I normally adore McKenna's work. Short stories, novels - whatever. I still attest that she's the best dang writer that Brava's got (my meager little opinion only of course).

But man, what a misstep this story is. I mean, it's just not good. Even with some brief flashes of brilliance (more of Cora and Ellen's mother please!) it can't salvage the gawd-awful romance.

Let me elaborate.

Bad boy hero returns to tiny town that shunned him after his uncle commits suicide. But hero doesn't think it's suicide. Despite uncle being a raging alcoholic asshole, he just wouldn't blow his brains out. Enter heroine - the sickeningly sweet girl he left behind. She's loved him all her life see. Sure she's engaged to the most eligible bachelor in town (naturally an asshole), but dang if her panties don't go gooey thinking about the hero - the guy who deflowered her as a teen.

So what's wrong here, besides the obvious? The hero whines about how he's "no good" for the heroine. Disaster follows him and he will surely ruin her life. The heroine pines away and romanticizes over the boy - but frankly doesn't know dick about the man except that he's so dang hot!

It was like entering an alternate universe and discovering I was back in high school. And no, that's not a good thing.

Then there are the prejudicial townspeople.

Question. If everyone in town is small-minded and hates you, why come back? Why bother? For that matter - why stay? Why not move somewhere else?

That's me talking crazy again though.

My final grade? D+. McKenna has done much, much, much, much better work. This one is a huge disappointment.

The Column That Wasn't

It dawned on me this morning that I'm one month away from my 30th birthday. The jury is still out on whether or not I'm OK with that. Right now, I'm OK with it. Of course one case of raging PMS could turn me into a crying mess - "Why, why, why?! What do I have to show for my life?!" That kind of rubbish.

In library news, I'm knee deep in weeding our very sad, very embarrassing reference collection. This morning I chucked my entire collection of Who's Who In America (because I hate those damn books) and a Thomas Register set from 2000. To any librarians reading this - yes, my reference collection really is that sad.

Maili mentioned in a previous comment that she'd like to see my aborted RTB column on children in romance. Always eager to please - here it is:

No One Under 12 Admitted

“Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.” – W.C. Fields

Ever look – I mean really look – at couples with small children? At single moms and/or dads with small children? They look like hell, don’t they? Tired, exhausted, working full time – its sort of like Night Of The Living Dead except these poor adults aren’t technically zombies.

So why oh why do romance authors insist on putting small children in romances? Children are not romantic. Sure they’re cute. Sure they’re sweet. But nothing saps the romance out of a situation quicker than a child with a poopy diaper.

Worse still, there are many writers writing child characters who have no business doing so. Has this ever happened to you? You’re reading a book, and everything is going fine. Then little Timmy, age 3, shows up and starts speaking sugary dialogue like:

“I seepy Mommy.”

“Mommy, I no feel good.”

“I wuv you.”

Do kids talk like this in real life? Maybe. Do children often suffer from lisps? Sure. Do I want to read this claptrap in a romance novel? Heck no!

Infants and toddlers are just learning. They haven’t quite figured out the concept of conjugating verbs, adverbs or adjectives. They are also, by their very nature, cute as the dickens (otherwise they’re on shows like Nanny 911). You can’t write them any other way, and some authors have a tendency to go overboard.

Here’s a reminder – romance readers tend to read books for the romance. We do not read romance novels for toddlers who talk like Elmer Fudd.

That isn’t to say that all child characters in Romance Novel Land are inherently awful. Ones of a certain age can actually add dimension and conflict to a story. Thinking back on all the books I’ve read that feature interesting younger characters a pattern begins to emerge. They’re all over the age of 12. Every single one of them. They talk like adults (for the most part) and are going through various angst and struggles that we can all relate to, because after all – we were once in their shoes.

So my advice to romance authors is if you can’t write kids – don’t try. Sure these tykes are cute in real life, but slapping them with cloying dialogue has a way of inducing severe eye rolling in readers. The fact remains, that child characters are a potential minefield. If you can’t write them convincingly, don’t write them at all.

Yoda I Am

You scored as Yoda.
Which Revenge of the Sith Character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

And Yoda so kicks ass! I currently have a Yoda desk top and I always keep my miniture Yoda figurine next to my computer. He stands watch and protects it from the "Dark Side."

I know - lame-o blog entry. I promise, the next one will be better. Better being a relative term of course.....

Job Ad, Diet Update And Amazon Order

Looks like The Romance Reader is looking for reviewers - specifially Chick Lit reviewers. Although if I know the editor, she probably wouldn't mind more reviewers period - regardless of the subgenre. If you're interested, check out the FAQ page.

As reported in a previous blog entry, I'm dieting. I have purposely not stepped on a scale since I started this grand experiment for fear of getting discouraged. But, there have been some results. It's amazing what happens when one just cuts out fast food. The Boyfriend, bless his heart, told me this weekend that my "love handles" were smaller.

OK, so that's not terribly romantic - but dang, I'm so happy!

Now if I could just get myself on a regular exercise schedule all would be right with the world.

I bit the bullet and placed in order with Amazon yesterday. Here's what I ordered:


I loved the first book in this series - Loaded - mainly because it had a bit of an edge to it. Sort of like a crime noir novel told from a women's perspective.









Kandel debuted last year with I Dreamed I Married Perry Mason - a book I read stictly for the title. It was one of my notable reads of 2004. Sort of a mix between cozy mystery and crime noir. This time, the author turns her eye from Erle Stanley Gardner to Nancy Drew.







I love Levine's Jaine Austen series, mainly because they are fun, quick reads. She's also the only mystery author I know who can write a "shorter" book (250 pages) and not skimp on character development, mystery, red herrings and suspects. Really looking forward to this one.

Traffic School, Vader, And RTB

I had a small mental breakdown when I saw Maili's recent column over at Romancing The Blog.

The witch stole my idea!

OK, so it was technically her idea first. And it's my own damn fault for not e-mailing her, because when I saw the title of her post before it went live, I had a feeling that was what her focus was going to be on.

I could have probably kept my original column on child characters in romance novels, since my ranty focus tended to be on toddler characters and the lisp - but thought it would be in poor taste to have two very similar columns so close together. So I spent my weekend thinking up a new idea - and came up with one. Just got done writing it and it's set to go live on June 10.

And I think it's fairly original - so I'm not fretting about the other posters this week.

My weekend was basically shot to hell thanks to Traffic School. Yours truly made the mistake of not coming to a complete stop at a stop sign a few months back - and the young, cute police officer had the nerve to give me a ticket! With visions of high car insurance costs for the next 3 years, I took the option of Traffic School.

Never again. Never, ever, ever again. I would rather have 3 root canals and my finger nails pulled out simultaneously than go through that 8 hours of hell again. Most...Boring...Day...Ever.

But I made up for it on Sunday. The Boyfriend and I went and saw Revenge Of The Sith on IMAX. Very, very cool - and here's a shock, we both really liked this movie. Of course going in with absolutely no expectations helped considerably. Expect nothing = walking away pleasantly surprised.

The Masquerading Librarian

Wrapped up Amber By Night (Silhouette Desire 1495) by Sharon Sala on my lunch break yesterday and am still pondering my enjoyment of it.

Technically this book should have insulted my intelligence - but dang if I didn't enjoy parts of it. Let me explain:

The heroine is a frumpy, dumpy librarian by day (the clincher being she lives with two elderly, spinster aunts) and by night she's a sexy cocktail waitress. The hero is the town bad boy who the heroine has pined after for years - but as the dumpy librarian he doesn't know she exists. But as va-va-va-voom waitress, his tongue is dragging on the floor and he's thinking unpure thoughts.

Is it any wonder that I might be insulted by this? The heroine has no life. She feels obligated to her aunts, so she dresses like a spinster (I swear to you, she wears "shirtwaists"). So instead of having her own life, she looses her identity altogether.

So what works about this story? Well the heroine originally takes the job of cocktail waitress to save up money to buy a car. That's right - her librarian job pays her dick. I could relate to this in a big way - as can many underpaid librarians.

Keep in mind that librarians have Master's degrees. That's right - many of us carry at least 2 degrees (if not more in the academic field), and have the student loans to prove it. Yet, I often see jobs like the following: Library Director wanted. MLS degree preferred. 5+ years experience. $28,000-$36,000.

How's that for insulting?

So it's totally plausible that the poor heroine would need to take a second job to buy a car - especially if her meager salary was helping to support a family of 3 (her and the 2 aunts).

Also, the hero finds out rather quickly that the heroine is leading a double-life, so he plays along. It's actually rather fun.

Will I read Sala again? Sure. I have several of her romantic suspense titles in the TBR. Am I still looking for a convincing librarian heroine in series romance? Yep.