It's Official - I Don't Get It

So I finished Derik's Bane by MaryJanice Davidson and have to say I wasn't that impressed. Don't get me wrong, it starts out great. Then somewhere around the 100 page mark it just got tedious. I will say this, I learned a valuable lesson from reading this book. Even I, Queen Sarcasm, cannot handle non-stop smart ass dialouge. Who knew?

The hero is a werewolf sent on a mission to "take care of" the heroine - who just happens to be the reincarnation of Morgan Le Fay. Seems she's going to destroy the world, and it is up to the hero to stop her. But then he actually meets her and can't kill her. Not only is she too ditzy to be evil, she's also really darn cute. So the two decide to hook up and travel cross country to save the planet.

It's amazing really that a 300 page novel lacks any meaningful conversation between any of the characters. I'm not kidding - it's all banter. I think it all started going downhill when the hero tries to the strangle the heroine and she responds by shouting insults at him and hurling objects like DVD cases at him. Huh? Why not grab a butcher knife (they were in her house after all) or run out the door screaming bloody murder in your quiet residential neighborhood. But that's just me being plain silly again.

And that's the ultimate problem - the whole thing is so dang superficial that any wiff of a romance gets lost in the shuffle. Basically the two hook-up, banter and have sex. Call me old fashioned, but shouldn't the characters - oh I don't know - actually talk to each other outside of snappy one-liners before they decide to spend the rest of the lives together? But maybe that's just me being plain silly again.

So it was a big disappointment. I still have Davidson's Undead and Unwed in my TBR. I'm currently debating whether or not I'll read it or just donate it to the library unread. Any opinions?

R.I.P

I'm bereft. I can't think straight. Lennie is gone! Lennie!

I'm Back

Yes, I'm back. Safe and sound thank you very much. For those that have been keeping up with the weather - all that nasty snow, ice and chaos stayed south of Michigan. The only exciting travel story I have is that I threw up on one of my flights to Michigan. I'm talking The Exorcist here. Luckily I had the old barf bag (sorry "motion sickness bag") handy.

Let's talk gifts shall we? My older sister got me the first and second seasons of Dallas on DVD! I think I might have mentioned a time or two how much I loved that show as a kid. I used to stay up every Friday night and watch it with my grandmother. The younger sister got me the fourth season of South Park on DVD (Timmy!) and my parents got me a lovely book called Tea & Taste: The Visual Language of Tea, along with other assorted goodies.

But now to the boyfriend. Yes, what did Wendy's boyfriend - he of excellent gift giving taste - get her for Christmas? My very own English tea service. I'm talking the works here. I even have dinner and dessert plates for crying out loud. And while the cups and saucers are backordered (bummer), I finally now have a fancy tea pot and serving tray. I have visions of sitting round the parlor with my lady friends sipping tea, nibbling on cucumber sandwiches and discussing Jane Austen.

Never mind that I don't have a parlor. I do know how to make cucumber sandwiches though. Isn't that something?

As for reading - I went through two books on my trip - Little Girl Lost by Richard Aleas and Morning Beauty, Midnight Beast by Myrna Mackenzie.

Little Girl Lost is part of Dorchester's new Hard Case Crime line - their way of revitilizing the pulp mystery genre, god bless their hearts. This one was pretty good, despite the fact that I knew exactly where it was heading after all the principal players were introduced.

The hero is a young private detective who opens up the newspaper one morning to learn the girl he lost his virginity to in high school was shot to death on the roof of a seedy strip club. How she ended up a stripper is the mystery for our hero - since the last she heard she was on her way to becoming a doctor. So he begins to investigate on his own, and uncovers a whole lot about his ex-girlfriend that he doesn't like.

Morning Beauty, Midnight Beast was also pretty good, but suffered from it's short page count. The author glosses over a lot and I think this book would have worked better with an extra 100 pages.

The heroine is 8 months pregnant when she collapses outside the hero's seedy apartment building. He rescues her, pays her hospital bill (how come I can never find the independently wealthy men?) and promptly rides off into the sunset. The heroine cannot leave it be though, and feels indebted to the man. She just has to find a way to repay his kindness. So she tracks him down. Their relationshiop then evolves into her cooking and cleaning for him, and he teaching her how to survive in the big, bad city.

The heroine struck me as a little too naive at times, but I've read worse. The hero is wallowing thanks to his belief that he did wrong by his loved ones. The heroine is gorgeous. The hero is scarred. Hence the title. I really enjoyed the hero's younger sister - but unfortunately that is one of the aspects that the author chooses to gloss over. If ever a character screamed "Sequel! Me Me Me!" it was her. But the ending of Morning Beauty, Midnight Beast left me thinking the author had no such plans. Bummer.

Next up is Derik's Bane by MaryJanice Davidson. Davidson was a big "It Girl" in romance in 2004, and this January 2005 release will be my first by her. So far it's quirky and fun - but I'm a mere 40 pages into it...

Leaving On A Jet Plane

Just a quick howdy-do and farewell as I'm boarding a plane for Michigan this afternoon. Happy Holidays to all and I'll be back to blogging semi-regularly on December 27.

I will not bitch about my job ever again - well at least for a few days anyway. I have the best staff ever!



I'm going to be in Michigan all next week, so we had our office "holiday celebration" today. I'm a bit on the lazy side, and I didn't like the idea of asking my staff to do anything extra like buy for a gift exchange, or show up to work early for breakfast - so we ordered pizza. I know, technically not very festive - but I also bought a couple of cakes! That has to count for something right?



Well anywho, after I got back from picking up the pizza they presented me with a card. Guess what these wonderful people got me? A $35 gift card for Barnes & Noble! I'm already drooling over the prospect. I can do a fair amount of damage at $35.



I also got two (count 'em two) boxes of See's chocolates. One from one of my volunteers and another from one of my pages (who shouldn't have - the county doesn't him pay him squat and he bought boxes for everyone on staff).



Now I'm wondering if I can squeeze a bookstore run in before we leave for Michigan on Saturday....

This is my last week of work before the holiday - the boyfriend and I are boarding a plane for Michigan on Saturday. We always like to spend Thanksgiving with his family and Christmas with mine - and this year I get to finally meet my new nephew, who is now almost 5 months old.



I thought I'd talk about reading today, and the disappointing mystery I finally forced myself to finish on Saturday - A Dose Of Murder by Lori Avocato. I always feel like a heel when I pan a debut, but this book is a perfect example of my least favorite type of read. That is, it would be a very good read if not for the annoying main character(s). Too-stupid-to-live doesn't begin to cover it.



The heroine decides that she's sick of being a nurse, so she quits her job. Now there's nothing terribly stupid about this (on the surface anyway) but let's factor a few things in:

1. She's up to her eyeballs in debt because she co-signed on a loan for a former friend
2. It takes a two year degree to become an registered nurse and the heroine has her master's degree. I mean, don't you think she would have figured out long ago that the profession wasn't for her.
3. She owes her fabulous gay roommate rent money.
4. She has absolutely no other form of employment to fall back on.
   
   

But never fear, because the fabulous gay roomie hooks her up with a new job - that of insurance fraud investigator. Her job is to follow around a nurse, and former school mate, and get proof that the woman didn't really hurt her back on the job. Of course the heroine is totally inept at her new job culminating in her not reading the directions on her new video camera and only getting shots of the villains butt and feet. This humilating experience is played out in front of her new coworkers, so the heroine runs into the staff bathroom and cries her eyes out.



Since she's inept, she soon runs into the mysterious "Jagger" who is also working indirectly on the same case. The difference being he's actually good at his job, and he has bigger fish to fry. But Jagger is also lacking in the brains department since he decides it's a good idea for the heroine to go "under cover" at the doctor's office where the villains work. The heroine bungles around, discovers a dead body, and ultimately walks right into the villains' clutches when she accidently leaves her super-secret camera behind on a doctor's desk.



I'm losing brain cells just typing about this ding-bat.



I knew this was going to be a rough read when in the beginning chapters the heroine lets the reader know that she's merely stringing the good-looking doctor she's sort of dating along because he buys her fancy dinners and she can get laid. Call me old fashioned - but why doesn't she learn to cook and buy a vibrator?



Heck, she could probably have better sex with the vibrator. ::cymbal crashing here::



Now for the positives - the author knows how to write and tell a story. It's too bad the whole thing gets dragged through the muck by an idiot heroine. It's also too bad I read and reviewed it. I hatehatehatehate idiot characters. I'm not expecting rocket scientists - but when someone is supposed to be in their mid-30s and acts about 16 - well it tends to kill my congenial nature.



But the good news is that I've started a new book, and so far it is quite choice. Midnight Rain by Holly Lisle - an author who has written a lot of fantasty and is now branching out to paranormal/romantic/suspense. So far the story is gripping and the one love scene was smokin' hot. More later, I promise.

Hickey update - it's still here. And while it's faded some, it still looks like I was attacked by a vaccuum cleaner.



It's a beautiful, gorgeous Saturday here in Southern California - so that must mean I'm at work! To add insult to injury, the boyfriend (AKA the evil hickey giver) is enjoying the surf and sand in Santa Monica, where he is meeting some buddies from his misspent college days. He did buy me my Christmas present today though, so it's not like I can stay too mad at him.



As long as I'm at work, let's discuss one of my favorite library-related topics - donations. I love pawing through book donations. I really do. If I had my druthers, I'd spend my entire day knee deep in boxes and bags looking for buried treasures. But alas, this is not a perfect world. Let me give you fair blog-readers some pointers on what you shouldn't donate to your local library:

1. The library doesn't want your old books that smell like pet urine. At least I hope that's pet urine smell....
   
   
2. The library really doesn't want books that have been stored in your garage, barn, and/or outhouse for the last 20 years.
3. The library really doesn't want 30 year old paperback novels that look 30 years old.
4. No one wants or needs an encyclopedia from 1965.
5. Readers Digest condensed books are the tool of the devil.
   
   
6. The library does not want your old phone books.

No joke, I had a little Vietnamese man donate his entire collection of old phone books last week. I smiled, nodded and proceeded to haul them out to our dumpster after he was long gone.



Of course when I got back from lunch this afternoon I found another little Vietnamese man knee deep in the same dumpster taking away those old phone books.



So I guess it is true - one person's trash is another person's treasure.



My favorite thing about donations is that no matter how dirty, smelly and/or gross the books look, the person donating them always says "There are some really nice books here."



It really is hard to keep a straight face some days.



But it's not all garbage. For about every 10 people who haul in books that their cats coughed up, there is that one person who brings me a box full of gems. This last week it was a man who loves to read "macho guy" books. I got several choice biographies as well as hard cover books by Clive Cussler, Jack Higgins and others of that ilk.

::Squeal:: I have a cute British boy visiting my blog!



At least I'm assuming his British. I mean, one doesn't have to be British to actually live in Britain right?



I'll admit it - I dig the accent. Heck, I even like listening to those Oasis guys talk even though I can't understand a bloody thing they say.



In my younger, debaucherous days I was a mild-mannered British history student. There was this exchange student in one of my general British history courses. Now, I've never been the type for "bad boys." Tattoos and multiple piercings just aren't my thing (all I can think is ouch!). But every time this guy opened his mouth in class and spoke, my knees turned to jelly. And he wasn't even that good looking really. Again, the whole bad-boy-punk thing just isn't my bag. But that voice! I just closed my eyes and thought about Pierce Brosnan.



And yes, I understand that Pierce is technically Irish - but whatever. You get the idea.



In library news, let me share with you all one of the many joys of working with the public - body odor. There was a guy in the library today that could have wilted flowers. No joke. Now, I try to be understanding, but sometimes it's really hard. I know that being homeless and/or mentally-not-all-there can mean that your hygiene won't be the greatest. But I think I lost nose hairs with this guy today. I wanted to chase him outside and turn the hose on him.



And in the more than you probably needed to know department - I have a hickey. I'm 29 years old and my boyfriend gave me a hickey. I have no one to blame but myself really. I mean, I let him give me the hickey. I look diseased. I've always bruised easily (damn my British/Irish ancestory!) so I wouldn't be surprised if this thing begins to turn yellow around the edges. I have visions of little old ladies passing me by on the street chanting "Unclean! Unclean!"



But there I go being melodramatic again....

Darling, it seems that you belong in Gone with the

Wind; the proper place for a romantic. You

belong in a tumultous world of changes and

opportunities, where your independence paves

the road for your survival. It is trying being

both a cynic and a dreamer, no?



Which Classic Novel do You Belong In?

brought to you by Quizilla



And yes, it is trying to be this cynical and this romantic - truly it is....

Can I move in with one of you all?



Ever since Urban Meyer took the job at Florida, my boyfriend has been nearly impossible. Every time Urban is mentioned on TV or the Internet - boyfriend gives the screen the ole' one-finger salute. There are also the not so gentle mutterings about the incompetence of the Notre Dame boosters, athletic department etc. "Gee, let's fire a guy like Ty Willingham before we get Urban Meyer sewn up."



I say it's all a pile of bad mojo for Notre Dame. I'm glad I don't work PR for them.



In other news, I've been a reading maniac. Wrapped up A Family Christmas by Carrie Alexander yesterday, flew through Guess Who's Coming For Christmas by Cara Colter, and zipped through This Pen For Hire by Laura Levine. Thee books in one day - that's got to be some sort of record. Sure I only had about 100 pages left of the Alexander and the Colter and Levine were only around 200 pages a piece - but still, three books in one day!



Next up is the third book in the Jaine Austen mystery series - Killer Blonde by Laura Levine.

Sports talk today.



First, Ty Willingham getting fired by Notre Dame was big news in my household as the boyfriend is a huge ND fan. Frankly, neither of us was real hot on ND's decision. I rather like Ty, and think he's a classy guy. I also don't feel that three years is necessarily enough time in college football. It's not like the NFL where you can drastically alter your roster every off-season. Ty's recruits are just now coming up, and the jury was still out. I also think that young teams (their quarterback is a sophomore of cripes sake) are naturally going to be inconsistent.



Notre Dame's real problem is they aren't dirty. They are the cleanest program in the country. So how can they compete with Miami (where players snort coke off naked women) or Ohio State (where players can drive a new car every other week). And worse still Notre Dame expects student athletes to actually do well in your coursework and have "real" majors. The horrors!



But really the truth is that Notre Dame has a hard-on for Urban Meyer and they want to nab him while they still have a shot. So bye-bye Ty. I have faith that you won't be unemployed for long.



The other big news is naturally Jason Giambi who has admitted to using steroids. Well duh. This is like Pete Rose admitting he bet on baseball. Do these guys really think the American public is that stupid? Wait, let's not answer that.



I will admit that I take some sick pleasure in the fact that Giambi has been a bust since signing with The Evil Empire (the New York Yankees). What I don't take pleasure in is the tarnish that MLB will take with these lingering steroid scandals. I adore football, but I truly love baseball. There's a nostalgic romanticism about it that appeals to me. However, as long as the sport and it's "fans" (I'm talking you fair-weather folks here) continue to get all googly-eyed over homeruns and 30 point games, the sport will suffer. I'd rather watch a game that features single hits, bunts and excellent fielding over the Barry Bonds homerun extravaganza any day.



But that's just me.