Mini-Reviews: Rescue Fantasies Times Two

As the Reading Slump from Heck marches on, I decided to force the issue by tackling two novellas over the weekend.  Coincidentally, both novellas feature what is perhaps my least favorite theme in romance - Ye Olde Rescue Fantasy.  How well I tolerate the hero swooping in to save the heroine from certain doom, as always, boils down to execution.  One of the novellas was a success and the other one?  Not so much.

I meant to read Angel by Victoria Dahl ages ago, especially since I enjoyed the companion novella, Harlot, so very much.  Angel is a short prequel (as in 60 pages short...) that tells the story of prostitute Melisande Angelle and her regular customer, Bill Donnelly, who falls in love with her and how they end up leaving New Orleans to head west.

There's really not a whole lot to recap here (hello, 60 pages), but I wanted to point how well done certain aspects of this story are - namely the religious "stuff."  The story opens with Melisande leaving the brothel to attend Christmas morning services at church.  How Dahl tackles Melisande's faith and the religious themes in general, in this short novella that most definitely is not an "inspirational" is really very intriguing.

Still, Melisande thought maybe God still loved her.  She thought she could feel that when she sat beneath the paintings and the stained glass and the crucified savior.  The priests, however, would be a different story. 

The sex scenes are suitably erotic (read: vanilla) without kink and the romance itself is quite sweet and tender.  There's not a lot of substantial conflict here outside of Melisande being a prostitute and of mixed race to Bill's burly white Irish-ness.  At only 60 pages this conflict is addressed, but not unpacked in any deep sort of manner.  It's self-contained and works well in the short format, but given how intriguing I found the set-up and characters I couldn't help but want more.  Still, a solid read and if you liked Harlot you'll want to read this one too.

Final Grade = B

Desire Me Now by Tiffany Clare isn't a "bad" book, just one that tackles the Rescue Fantasy trope in a manner I personally find unappealing.  When I hit the 20% mark and found myself still not caring?  Yep, I gave myself permission to DNF.

Amelia Grant is gently born, hiding her true identity, and working as a governess under an assumed name.  By the 20% mark she had been:

1) Drugged and almost raped by her employer, fleeing the premises with her few meager possessions and what amounts to her life savings.

2) Her reticule, where she has stored said life savings, is snatched away in the streets by a crafty pickpocket.

3) She is almost trampled to death by horses in the street while running after the pickpocket only to be rescued by our hero, Nicholas Riley.

4) Nicholas takes one look at her, has lecherous thoughts, but wants to protect her, so tells her in no uncertain terms she is now his new secretary - never mind she has no clue how to be a secretary.  She's hung up about this, but he's a steam-rollin' Alpha hero so it's not like her protests are all that concerning....

5) And for added measure, she has to work because after Papa dies her wastrel brother gambled away what money was left and was getting ready to sell her off to marry a man whose reputation is worse than that of the employer who tried to rape her.

Seriously.  

I get that the girl is having a bad day (OK, bad life) - but outside her constantly needing to be rescued and the hero having a White Knight Fetish, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to find the chit interesting enough to read about.  Which is ultimately the problem.  Even with Nicholas being a "self-made man" there's just nothing interesting about these people.  In fact, Nicholas is vaguely creepy, rescuing Amelia from certain doom, wanting to protect her, but still, of course, wanting to take her to bed for carnal delights.

None of it was working for me and my Kindle runneth over so....

Final Grade = DNF

#TBRChallenge 2016: Everybody's Talkin' All This Stuff About Me

The Book: My Prerogative by Sasha White

The Particulars: Contemporary Erotic Romance, Book 4 in series, 2008, Berkley, Out of Print, No Digital Edition.  (Note: Series not listed in the Bookshelf section of author web site and all books in series are currently out of print with no digital editions - so possibly the author is working to get rights back from Berkley?)

Why Was It In Wendy's TBR?: No clue.  Seriously, no clue whatsoever.  I can tell that I didn't buy it new but there are no used bookstore stamps on it - so I might have picked this up at a SoCal Bloggers book swap?  I mean, look at that cover.  I kinda dig it.

The Review: I pretty much want to shrug my shoulders, say "Meh" and just be done with it.  But for you all I'll try to expound, stating up front this review might be contradictory at times.  Honestly, I probably should have DNF'ed it because I found it all so Meh, but I was at RT last week which meant it was either this book or no book at all (and the hostess not meeting her own challenge just seems sad), but I'll admit upfront I skimmed a good chunk of the final 1/3.

Kelsey Howard is a mid-30s bartender who is out there living life - which by her definition is to have lots of flings, lots of inconsequential hook-ups, plenty of booze, and a job that keeps her up all night and sleeping all day.  She does what she wants, with whomever she wants (although she keeps her hook-ups strictly hetero).  She's out there "living life."  So why does she feel so lost sometimes.

One night, instead of hooking up with a regular bar customer (a definite no-no in her book), she goes home to her supply of toys.  She has a good time...with the curtains open.  Watching her the whole time?  Hunky artist Harlan who lives across the street.

So we all know where this is going, right?  And I wanted to love this book.  I subscribe to the school of thought that women should be allowed to love sex and be unapologetic about it.  And for the most part that's Kelsey.  The downside to storytelling that is it's kind of boring.  I know erotic romance has been overrun with Angst-O-Rama-Jama lately, but there needs to be some sort of conflict to keep the proceedings interesting outside of the Boink-Fest and everything felt superficially on-the-surface here.  To make it more problematic?  The author hints that Kelsey has "issues" and baggage, but keeps it skin deep.  So on one hand I loved that this book lacks over the top angst, but on the other hand I'm disappointed when angst is hinted at but never really delivered on.  See?  Contradictory.

Harlan is basically an OK guy but firmly in the Too Good To Be True category.  A perfect example?  Kelsey finally agrees to go out with him, like normal dating people do, for a drink.  Before Harlan gets there she decides to have some fun since he likes to watch.  She propositions a guy, sits him down in a booth, and proceeds to get him off.  Right there.  In the bar.  Harlan shows up and there's the girl he's meeting for a drink pleasuring another dude.  Afterward he says this to Kelsey:

I'm not disappointed because of what you did.  I'm not that man.  I'm confident in myself and not threatened by watching a woman I find attractive with another man.  What I'm disappointed in is the fact that you'd rather play games than get to know each other.

I can read erotic romance as fantasy with the best of them (in fact a lot of erotic romance and erotica occupies the "fantasy reading" part of my brain) but this strained the seams considerably for me. You show up for a date with a girl and you arrive to find her doing Naughty Things with some strange dude.  In public? And he doesn't freak out?  Or get upset?  Or whatever?  Surely I can't be the only person to find this odd?

Characters from previous books in the series do show up (mostly in the second half) but this book stands alone reasonably well.  In the end Kelsey still hasn't explored any of her hinted at baggage or past behavior but seems so much "happier" to her family and friends which is attributed to her falling in lurve.  It's just so uninspired.  The whole never dives below the surface.  We skate along the edge, there are some hot encounters, but the characters remain strictly superficial.  It's not bad it's just....meh.  It's also the kind of story that I'll have trouble recalling anything about next week.

On the bright side?  That's one less print trade paperback off the TBR Mountain Range and that feels pretty awesome.

Final Grade = C-

Little Miss Crabby Pants Comes Clean

Well that didn't take long.  Back from RT for a grand total of 24 hours and already our first controversy.  I tend to avoid addressing most post-con controversies but in this instance Little Miss Crabby Pants feels like she has something to say.  Because...of course she does.

The brouhaha involves a publisher that attended this year called Clean Reads (and no I'm not linking).  They handed out "Clean Reads" buttons at the Giant Book Fair and attendees wearing one had the opportunity to win cool free stuff - I believe Kindle Fires were involved.  So, naturally, many folks started walking around sporting those buttons.

What makes this problematic?  The fact that the publisher has very definite ideas on what constitutes a "clean read."  I'll direct you to this blog post by author Rick R. Reed, but in a nutshell?  "Clean" does not apply to LGBTQ.

There's a lot going on here, so let's start with the obvious.  The implication that if you're LGBTQ you are somehow "not clean" or "dirty" is....really not cool.  Also fairly obvious and problematic is the implication that all media (this includes books) that feature LGBTQ characters is somehow pedal-to-the-metal erotica (this is a long-standing pet peeve of mine).  Which...hello, it's not.  For me it's the exact same thing as when people think romance novels are all about sex and that all romance novels have sex in them.  Which we all know...isn't true either.

LGBTQ does not = "dirty" or "unclean"
LGBTQ does not automatically = erotica or erotic romance
Sex does not = "unclean" or "bad" or "wrong."

Hey, if we're all created in God's image I'm pretty sure the big guy upstairs is pretty OK with sex.  I mean, she'd have to be...right?

What I fear will get lost in this discussion, and what I fear will happen, is that readers who like reads that are sweet, gentle, non-explicit, whatever-the-heck-you-want-to-call-them, will get lumped into the fray as being "a problem."  Also, and this could just be the Twitter vacuum I live in, that somehow people who like non-explicit reads think erotic romance or erotica is the devil.  Some of them do, but guess what?  Some of them don't.  It's always been too easy and tempting by some parties to lump romance readers into "one thing."  Oh, you like LGBTQ?  You must hate Inspirational romances.  Oh, you like hot erotic romance?  You must want sex in ALL your books. 

It's true, some readers do like to stay in their lane and not veer off on to unfamiliar dirt roads to explore the countryside.  But, in my experience, I find this to not be the norm in Romancelandia.  I can only truly speak for myself, but I love erotic romance and erotica.  Love it!  But I also love plenty of authors who keep the bedroom door firmly shut and whose characters never utter a curse word.  I've even been known to read books on both ends of the spectrum back-to-back (two authors I really dig? Charlotte Stein and Deeanne Gist. They both do great tension, but that's the only similarity between the two....trust me).

The problem continues to be discoverability.  Just as I don't want readers shamed for loving erotic romance or erotica, I don't want them shamed for wanting the author to keep that bedroom door shut.  However we live in a society that cannot seem to function without labels and the book world is consumed by them.  The trick is how to identify those non-explicit reads for people who want them without resorting to a publishing model that endorses bigotry.  And I think if you asked people who liked non-explicit reads?  You'd find a great many of them aren't intolerant people.  They don't think LGBTQ somehow denotes "explicit" because, guess what?  It doesn't.  I also think you'd find many of them interested in non-explicit books that feature LGBTQ characters.  If nothing else, I'm interested! (hint, hint)

This, for me, is another example of a widening divide.  Non-explicit reads are getting lumped into inspirational by default which is a disservice for non-explicit readers who don't want Christian themes and for Christian readers actively looking for Christian themes.  But in a world where we're obsessed with labels?  Coming up with labels or various genre cues is tricky.  Words like "clean" and "wholesome" are judgmental.  "Sweet" can mean anything from "no sex" to "charming" to "cloyingly saccharine."  I like "gentle" but am really not in love with it.  "Non-Explicit" seems....awkward.  And yes, there is a difference between "chaste" and "closed door."

At this point I'm thinking authors writing non-explicit books need to resort to putting cats on their book covers.  Hey, it worked for cozy mysteries!  Even when the story in question doesn't have a cat in it!

This is an instance where I really don't have a good answer and it's a topic which, as a librarian, I struggle with constantly.  Just as there are folks who don't like action movies because they don't like to watch violence?  There are folks who like non-explicit reads - not because they are narrow-minded or bigoted - but because they don't want to read about sex, violence and/or curse words.  And you know what?  There's nothing wrong with that.  But there has to be a way to identify those books without excluding the LGBTQ community and implying that they, and sex in general, are "dirty" or "wrong."

Reminder: #TBRChallenge for April 2016

For those of you participating in the 2016 TBR Challenge, this is a reminder that your commentary is "due" on Wednesday, April 20.  This month's theme is Contemporary!  This one should be fairly easy, right?  Well, what if you're not in the mood for a contemporary right now or "I'm sorry Wendy, but you'll pry my historical romances out of my cold dead hands?" Hey, no problem!  Remember - the themes are totally optional and are not required.  It's not about the themes but reading something (anything!) out of your TBR.

You can find more information about the challenge (and see the list of participants) on the Information Page. 

Viva Las Vegas!

Long story short: this blog has been a dead zone.

A more thorough excuse?  I haven't been reading (at all - it's been really sad) and my time online following whatever Outrage Du Jour (I'll admit it - I'm outraged-out) has been limited.  So yeah, not a lot to blog about.

But it's time for me to pop in and say, "Hey! I'm taking off for Las Vegas!"  That's right, I'll be hitting my first ever (Lord help us all) RT BookLover's Convention this week.  I'm already incredibly overwhelmed by the conference agenda because 1) there is so much to do...OMG! and 2) Wendy doesn't do "costumes."  So yeah.  I'll be dressed like a librarian (OK, my "these are the clothes I wear to work" wardrobe). 

I hope to meet / see a lot of you there.  Alas, I will not be blogging during the conference.  Right now my lone mobile computing device is my smart phone (and I don't like blogging enough to tackle it on a smart phone).  But I'm going to do my best to cross-post conference shenanigans (I promise - totally family friendly AND safe for work) on Twitter and my blog's Facebook page.

I'm also going to try not to drop my life savings at the blackjack table or run off and marry an Elvis impersonator.  Baby steps Wendy.  Baby steps.

Retro Review: Windwalker

This review for Windwalker by Natasha Mostert was first posted at The Romance Reader in 2005.  I gave it 1-Heart (F grade) and a MPAA G-rating for sensuality content.

+++++

No reviewer associated with TRR ever gives a one-heart review lightly. We agonize over them. Is the book really that bad that it deserves such a harsh review? Is there nothing redeemable? In the case of Windwalker there is something redeemable – this author can write. Mostert also has a real sense of place, and a portion of the story takes place in Africa - an unusual setting by romance standards. Unfortunately Windwalker is also boring, almost completely lacking in dialogue, cluttered with Gothic elements that lack suspense, and worst of all – it breaks the cardinal rule of romance novels. Since this book is published by Tor’s paranormal romance line, it’s a rude little surprise indeed.

Justine Callaway is a photojournalist running from her past. She feels guilty over her role in her beloved brother’s death, has a horrible relationship with her mother, and has even tried to commit suicide. Her solution to her problems is to run away to a mansion in the English countryside, where she takes on the job of caretaker. However once she arrives spooky things begin to happen.

A ghostly wolf-like image begins appearing in her photographs of the house. She ticks off one of the local teenage punks. She garners the attention of the town’s creepy stalker who calls himself The Watcher. Plus, she begins to obsess over the family who previously owned the house – the Buchanans.

Adam Buchanan is living a life of exile in Africa. Nine years earlier he killed his spoiled brother in an altercation. So he runs away from home. While he’s cut himself off from the outside world, Adam does believe in the concept of soul mates, and has been writing letters to a mysterious woman for years. Turns out that mysterious woman is Justine and she’s now living in his abandoned family home.

Now this all sounds interesting right? There’s a great Gothic tone, and Mostert really has a way of painting a setting with words. Unfortunately the whole thing is really bloody boring! There is barely any dialogue to speak of. Chapters go by without any of the characters speaking to anyone. I kept waiting for something to happen, and when it finally does it is extremely anti-climatic.

Several instances that could have been quite suspenseful come off as tedious. The idea of Justine having a stalker could have been exciting – but instead the reader knows immediately the identity of the man. There’s absolutely no mystery to it. There’s also the presence of a villain in Africa, but given that he’s motivated by greed and underworld ties, it’s not a big leap to know exactly where his story arc will go.

The romance here is non-existent. Adam and Justine don’t even meet until the last 100 pages of the book, and when they do they simply declare that they’re “soul mates” and are so in love. Color me skeptical. Given Justine’s questionable mental condition (the girl needs a therapist not a romance) and Adam’s homicidal tendencies, it’s a bit of a leap to buy into a grand cosmic love affair.

However it’s the ending that really sinks the book. Readers tend to clamor for different ideas in their romantic fiction, but something tells me they won’t be prepared for an ending like this one. Mostert breaks the cardinal rule of romance. It's the stuff of women’s fiction, fantasy, and literary circles – not romance.

Ultimately that is what sinks Windwalker into one heart territory. Sure the writing is crisp and I loved Mostert’s descriptive settings. But with virtually no dialogue, a plot that packs no suspenseful punch, a completely unsatisfactory romance, and an ending that has no business being in a novel marketed as romance – Windwalker more than earned this one-heart review.

+++++

Original Cover

A Rather Lengthy Note: Given the recent brouhahas about books marketed as romances that feature not-happy endings, I thought it would be fun to revisit this review.  2005 was the height of the paranormal boom and Tor launched a "paranormal romance" line - which is the imprint this book was released under.  It was a disservice to both the author and the reader because when you pick up something published under a "paranormal romance" imprint you kinda, sorta expect to get a romance novel.

Obviously from my review, I had numerous issues with the book - but the final nail in the coffin was that ending.  If you're curious - Spoiler = The details are fuzzy now but I'm positive the hero dies in the end.  I *think* the heroine lives - but damn if I can remember now.  The brain bleach I drank did a halfway decent job of scrubbing my memory. /end Spoiler.

It was also a book in a long parade of paranormal romances I read during those years that made me loathe the "soul mate" theme.  I'm sorry folks, it has and always will smack of a storytelling shortcut to me.

So this is just to say that yep - this kind of nonsense happened 10+ years ago too.  Although I think more so today since we have so many self-published authors clamoring for name recognition and publishers spit-balling outrageous ideas to hit upon The Next Big Thing.  And, you know, generally chasing after the fact that romance readers drop a serious amount of money on our book budgets.

Stay strong Romancelandia.  Stay strong.

Retro Review: Ex and the Single Girl

This review of Ex and the Single Girl by Lani Diane Rich was first posted at The Romance Reader in 2005.  I rated it 5-Hearts (an A grade) with a MPAA G-rating for sensuality.

+++++

“Honey, there’s no such thing as crazy. There’s just degrees of interesting.” – Aunt Vera

And those literary snobs keep saying that Chick Lit is dead. If Rich’s third book is any indication the funeral needs to be postponed indefinitely. After finishing my advanced copy in one sitting, I closed the back cover only to realize that I hadn’t been this emotionally invested in a book in a long time.

Portia Fallon has been dumped by her long-time boyfriend, on Valentine’s Day no less. He didn’t even break up to her face. No, Portia came home to discover a hastily scribbled goodbye on the title page of Peter’s well-reviewed but poorly sold literary novel. For the last several months, she has taken to watching Pride & Prejudice repeatedly, drinking bottles of chardonnay and eating bags of Cheetos. Oh, and she’s pretty much ceased to work on her dissertation.

Then Portia’s mother calls telling stories of a horrible back injury and could she please come home and help run the family bookstore? She’s all set to say no when Portia realizes a startling truth – she’s about one step away from becoming a Crazy Cat Lady. So she packs her bags, sublets her apartment and leaves Syracuse, New York for Truly, Georgia.

However once in Truly Portia realizes she’s been had. Her mother, Mags, is perfectly fine. So are her aunt, Vera, and her grandmother, Bev. In fact, they’ve asked Portia to make the long drive to Truly for the sole purpose of getting her laid. She’s been entirely too mopey since Peter left. The girl needs a “Flyer” or in code understood by everyone else, a Rebound Man. A guy Portia can have great sex with and who can help get Peter out of her system. The Miz Fallons have just the guy – sexy British spy novelist Ian Beckett, who is in town working on his latest book.

On first glance Ex And The Single Girl reminded me a lot of the play (or movie) Steel Magnolias, if it were told in first person and without any death. Rich writes about an engaging small Southern town populated by eccentric and endearing characters. The Miz Fallons play a very large role in this story as Portia comes to terms with who she is, why the women in her family are destined to be man-less, and what she wants out of her life. Portia must take a hard look at herself, and she does this by taking an equally hard look at the women who raised her.

Original Cover

The romance here is sweet, as Ian and Portia have a fantastic repartee and friendship starting right when they meet for the first time. It’s all very charming and witty, and gets further complicated when Portia finds herself confronted once again with the Peter mess. That’s all well and good, but it is the emotional depth that ultimately elevates this novel to keeper status. Rich does not take the easy way out.

 While this story is very funny, it’s not just funny. The author easily could have kept the funny going and never really allowed her characters to grow and analyze their feelings and shortcomings. Portia may start the novel wallowing in self-pity, but by the end she has made herself better. She doesn’t do this just by bagging a man, but by really looking at herself, understanding who she is and who the women in her family are.

Ex And The Single Girl isn’t a long book (less than 300 pages), but it packs a punch. I was most struck by how there were no real villains in this story, only real people with their own baggage and foibles. Even the seemingly despicable Peter is allowed to have some depth, making Portia’s exploration into her past all the more complex. Our girl has choices to make, a past to examine and a life to live. As the reader, I wanted nothing more than for her win. She does, and it makes for a most satisfying read. Highly, highly recommended. Bravo Ms. Rich!

+++++

Note: Looks like the ebook reprint is only available via Amazon (don't shoot the messenger!).  Also, added bit of trivia - this book was a RITA finalist for Novel with Strong Romantic Elements (RIP) in 2006.  Lakeshore Cottage by Susan Wiggs ended up taking the award.