Bippity Boppity Boo

If you've hung around the Bat Cave for five minutes, you are probably well aware that I am beyond burnt out on paranormals. I'm at the point where I'm flat out not buying them (for my personal reading needs, I'm still buying bunches for work) and the only time I read one is this time of year when I have homework reading for my library's literary event. So behold Bat Cave followers, a true rare wonder! An actual paranormal romance review from yours truly!

Going into 50 Ways To Hex Your Lover by Linda Wisdom, I was honestly only hoping it wouldn't drive me insane. Even before I was burnt out on paranormals, I was never a fan of the Funny Ha-Ha ones. Hell, I'm not a fan of Funny Ha-Ha in any type of romance novel. Period. But again, homeworking reading. And while this one certainly didn't light my world on fire, it also didn't have me running for the nearest bottle of vodka either.

Jasmine "Jazz" Tremaine is a 700 year old witch who works as a part-time chauffeur and a part-time "curse eliminator." Having been banished by the Witches' High Council (along with 12 of her friends), she's essentially going about her business, living her life, until the Powers That Be decide she's been a good lil' witch and can come back into the fold. Until then, she's hardly breaking a sweat over it.

Unfortunately for Jazz, her nice orderly life is about to get complicated. Nikolai Gregorivich AKA Nick Gregory is back in town and has waltzed back into her life. Nick is a vampire, and their on-again, mostly off-again relationship has been riding the merry-go-round for about 300 years. She hasn't seen his sexy, sorry behind in 70-odd years and now he's come back to ask for her help in solving the mystery of some missing-in-action vampires. Well no way, and no how. Every time Jazz helps Nick she either ends up in his bed, or in jail, and she's not falling for his charms again. That's what she's telling herself anyway....

There was actually quite a bit about this story that I rather enjoyed. The Southern California setting (mostly Pasadena/L.A. area) was well done and Jazz has her charms (literally and figuratively). I also really, really, really (this can't be overstated) enjoyed the fact that the author did not ignore the history of her two main characters. By far and away my biggest pet peeve with paranormals is that you have some frickin' old ass character (let's go with 700 year old vampire hero) who has seen all these things, witnessed all these events and lived a life (OK, an "undead" life) rich with what 700 years will give a person and yet he falls in lurve with some 22-year-old brain-dead bimbo? Seriously?! Once they stop having sex like bunnies, what the hell do they have in common? No, really. What? I wanna know. In the case of this story, Jazz and Nick are both "old," have a shared past, and history is actually mentioned. Jazz remembers the Civil War, when the Hollywood sign was Hollywood Land and the various witch trials throughout history. Loved this. Loved it!

Unfortunately what doesn't work so well is the pacing of this story which was on life support very early on. The plot description I gave above is essentially what is on the back cover blurb. Yet Jazz pretty much avoids Nick, and they don't meet to even discuss his missing vampire problem until page 113 of a 361 page book. And even after her and Nick "talk" - it's not like he's hanging around all that much. They don't spend a ton of page time together, which makes buying into the "romance" (even if they have been an on-again, off-again item for 300 years) a bit of an issue. Also, the villain is suitably bad-ass, off-the-charts creepy, yet the he's given very little screen time. The guy is so vile that I thought it was to the detriment of this story that the author didn't take more advantage of his existence. Seriously - he's way creepy.

At the end of the day, what we have is a very light (cotton candy light) urban fantasy slash paranormal romance that is filled with cutesy-wootsy (creepy, evil villain aside). Jazz has a classic car that is haunted by the ghost of an annoying 1950s, chain-smoking housewife and a pair of possessed bunny slippers named Fluff and Puff. Is it silly? Yes. Is it slapstick? Not necessarily in my mind (no pratfalls and only a handful of fart references) - although I survived the unfortunate romantic comedy trend in the genre some years back (which I still have psychological scars from by the way).

If you're a reader who knows, upfront, that light, Funny Ha-Ha, cutesy paranormals just don't work for you? In my opinion, there's nothing in 50 Ways To Hex Your Lover that is likely to change your mind. However, if you can't get enough of this sort of book? If you wish all paranormals were light, cotton candy confections that you could gorge endlessly on? This one is worth a look - and happy day for you, it's the first book in a series.

Final Grade = C

Suggestive Chocolate And More Books

Like a lot of Americans, I'd classify myself as a bit of a mutt - and I say this with much affection. One of the things I truly love about my country is the sheer amount of diversity among the people who live here. My blood line is pretty much a mess, although if you boiled me down to my essence, you'd largely be left with English and German. Most days, I honestly think the English is winning out. Besides the very dusty B.A. in British History currently in the Bat Cave office closet, there's my long-standing tea addiction and my love of Cadbury chocolate. A lot of Americans will say Cadbury is "too sweet" to which I say, "Oh goodie - more for me! Gimme, gimme, gimme!"

Many moons ago I ran across a Cadbury chocolate bar that is not sold retail in the U.S. I devoured it, I loved it, I wanted more of it, and then promptly forgot what the hell it was called. Looking back I should have done a blog post asking for help, but I honestly didn't think of that. All I could remember was that it was a Dairy Milk bar with white chocolate sitting on top of the milk chocolate - and for some inexplicable reason "milky mounds" was lodged in my brain. Which (naturally) My Man found uproariously funny.

Well today's shopping excursion to World Market (I needed tea) netted me the Holy Grail. Behold, Top Deck! And I wasn't making up that "milky mounds" bit either. Tee Hee. If my Internet searching is to be believed, this particular candy bar is no longer sold in the UK, but is still widely available in Australia. Any of my overseas readers - please feel free to correct me. But wahoooey! Milky Mounds Of Deliciousness! Now I just have to hope that World Market keeps carrying them. I held myself back and only bought two.

In other news, as others have already blogged about, the So. Cal. Bloggers added to our masses and met last weekend in honor of Lisabea's triumphant return to our sunny shores. Drinking, eating and merriment ensued, along with a trip to a fabulous used (and new) bookstore in our area that is essentially floor to ceiling romance novels. Old Skool, New Skool, and just about every Skool in between. Between Lisa, Nikki and that bookstore, I walked away with lots o' goodies.

A couple of books of note:

Lisabea decided to clean house and gifted me with her beloved (and well-loved) copy of Fair Is The Rose by Meagan McKinney which is (in her words) "my favorite western of all time." And she gave it to me! How sweet is that girl? Sweeter than Milky Mounds Of Cadbury Deliciousness, says I.

I'm also pretty sure I now owe Nikki a vital organ because she gave me her copy of Wildstar by Nicole Jordan. For those of you who don't know - a long, long time ago and in a galaxy far, far away, Nicole Jordan wrote westerns. This is one of them and it's damn hard to find. So hard to find that I've been looking for it for several years (I refuse to pay outrageous sums online for hard to find mass market paperbacks - won't do it). Nikki was cleaning house - and voila! 'Tis now mine! And after talking with her, I really need to pull that equally hard to find copy of The Savage (also by Ms. Jordan) out of my TBR.

Oh, and these photos will blow up to a larger size if you click on them. You know, in case you want to see all the books I scored or if you simply want to bask in the glow of milky mound goodness. Heck, I know I do.

So Wendy, Whatcha Up To?

What I've been up to is essentially a blogging slump. Here's the thing, you can't blog as long as I have and not come down with the occasional case of Blogging Ennui. Look, it happens. My solution to this little problem has always been "suck it up and move forward Wendy." And that's what I do. The result generally means blog posts that don't light the world on fire - but hey, that's not really why I blog. So it's all good, right?

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For those of you who have been reading the Bat Cave solely from a feed reader, you've probably missed the big splashy banner on my side bar promoting All Romance Ebooks 28 Days Of Heart campaign. As part of the fun they've interviewed several bloggers around Romance Bloglandia, including yours truly. You can find them here, and to read my interview you'll need to scroll down to the February 11 entry (you'll see my happy lil' avatar).

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I've been busy with work/career stuff lately. In a moment of insanity, I've agreed to do two presentations on the romance genre on the same day. D-Day is February 24, which means I'm trying to get my act together. First up will be a presentation on all things Harlequin to some of the library staff. Think of it as Harlequin For Dummies and you'll get a sense of what I'll be rambling on about. Also, it's a chance for me to educate them on category romance. As a general rule, while there are romance-hatin' librarians out there (seriously, save me from The Stupid), most of the time it's just a matter of librarians "not having a clue." They're not mean-spirited, they have nothing against the genre, they just need to be educated - for lack of a better word.

In my experience, while librarians are getting a bit better on identifying and appreciating the variety in the genre, category romance is still a big mystery. They think it's all Harlequin Presents. Which isn't really shocking since I've run up against more than my fair share of romance readers who think this. Yes, Harlequin Presents sells a butt-load of books. They're insanely popular. But they aren't the only books Harlequin offers. Hell, Harlequin actually publishes other stuff besides romance novels. Can't wait to break that bit of news to them.

The second presentation will be a genre talk at one of our smaller branches. Basically a run-down on all the different "types" of stories you can find within the romance genre. I honestly have no clue how this one is going to go at all. I'm at the stage where I'm hoping at least one warm body shows up. Whether or not I end up talking to an empty room, I still need to prepare some handouts and plan on bringing books for show and tell.

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I've got several things in the works, mostly involving my professional life, that will keep me busy and likely have me panicking in the coming months. All of these are projects I'm really excited about, but they'll require some planning, and some work on my part to not sound like an idiot. Here's the trick to public speaking - speak on a topic you're really confident about. It's amazing how easy the whole thing becomes when you know the subject matter like the back of your hand. That said, there's always that chirpy little voice in the back of my brain telling me, "Don't make an ass of yourself Wendy."

Trust me, a tall order most days.

Certainly as word starts getting out publicly on all these "projects" - I'll be blogging about them. Whether anybody wants to read about them or not. Ha!

He's Gotta Be Fresh From The Fight

Since my library's literary event is coming up in (very) early April, I'm past due to get truckin' on my "homework reading." When preparing for the romance fiction panel discussion, it's honestly completely incidental whether or not I "like" a featured author's book(s). It's much more about familiarizing myself with their work, and being able to moderate the discussion while sounding like I know what the heck I'm talking about.

But I ain't lyin' - this job is a lot easier when I "like" the book(s).

Holding Out For A Hero by HelenKay Dimon is the most recent in her Hawaii Heroes and stands alone very well. I think it's a good "test" for an author when they can make series stories stand alone (this is one of my personal reading quirks) and I'll be honest - the plot sounded delicious.

Deana Armstrong needs a private investigator. Her nephew (the family fuck-up golden boy) is rotting away in prison for a crime he couldn't possibly have committed. Unfortunately for Deana, the best man for the job is Josh Windsor and their history is a bit....complicated. Not only did Josh once arrest her nephew, he didn't take kindly to her hiring a team of investigators to dig around in his life, trying to find anything to discredit his good name in court. She hardly thinks he should hold that against her though. All she learned was that the guy was so honorable and squeaky clean that even his ex-girlfriends wouldn't talk trash about him. Now to convince him to take the job.

Josh has just left the DEA thanks to his boss trying to pass the buck of a botched investigation on to him. The whole incident has not only confirmed that his boss is a prick, but that he's damn tired of rescuing people. He's done. He's out. Then Deana approaches him with her job offer, and he somehow keeps it together long enough to not laugh in her face. This woman, and her family, have repeatedly shown that they are more than willing to throw their money around to try to weasel out of trouble, and now she wants his help?! He should be telling her to go to Hell, but damn, he finds himself saying yes.

What we have here is your classic adversarial romantic relationship. Countless authors have tread this ground before and many, many of them have failed (sorry, you have) because they forget a key ingredient in the mix. The adversarial "stuff" has to be believable. It can't be trumped up and stupid. Josh has a very credible reason for disliking Deana and her family. Not only did her mother try to blackmail him once - but Deana herself once hired a team of investigators to dig through his life, looking for evidence to discredit his good name.

The author takes a very big risk in this story in the form of Deana. I'll be blunt - the girl just doesn't "get" it for a good chunk of this story. It's easy for her to accuse Josh of hating money, as opposed to admitting that what he really hates is her family trying to buy their way out of trouble. She's also still lugging around guilt for a past event that I suspect many readers will balk at. Romance readers love wounded characters when they're "wrongly" wounded. It's a lot trickier when said wounded character makes the choice that ultimately leads to their downfall. Deana is risky enough that, I'll admit it, during my reading, it wasn't all sunshine and roses. But ultimately, that is what makes this story so interesting. That the heroine doesn't fit into a safe mold where you always "like" her. Plus, it helps that she eventually does "get" it.

It's been a while since I've read a book where I literally wanted to drop everything (oh, like my entire life!) to keep reading. The dialogue is fantastic, the story is solid, and the final chapters are just....wow, amazing! If I had been on the ball at all, this easily would have made my Best Of 2009 list. As it stands right now, don't be surprised if Holding Out For A Hero makes my Best Of 2010 list.

Final Grade = B+

The Month That Was January 2010

Time for me to do some housekeeping and post my reading recap for January 2010, which is kind of dismal. I had a fairly solid month made up of B and C grades, but dang - only 5 books? Oh well. Here's how it breaks down (title links lead to full reviews):

Scoundrel's Kiss by Carrie Lofty, Medieval Historical Romance, 2010, Grade = B+

• The best read of the month. A deeply flawed heroine (an opium addict!) and a former warrior hero who hopes to atone for his past by hiding away in a monastery. Two challenging characters who...well...challenge each other, and the author throws in plenty of derring-do to keep the whole thing humming along.
  

The Maid's Lover by Amanda McCabe, Elizabethan Historical Romance Ebook Short Story, 2009, Grade = C+

• I'm glad I wrote a review for this over at TGTBTU because thinking back, I didn't remember a darn thing about this story - other than it takes place in Elizabeth I's court. Hero and heroine are lovers who find their lives complicated by their social standings. He has a ton of it, and her? Yeah, not so much. McCabe continues to write really interesting settings and dayum is this girl one of the hardest working writers in the romance genre! She's got a back-to-back-to-back trilogy coming out (via Harlequin Historical) starting in April and she's got two books as Laurel McKee (via Grand Central) also on tap for 2010. Holy cow!
  

Kismet by Monica Burns, Victorian Historical Romance (Morocco!), 2010, Grade = C-

• There was so much I liked about this story. The unusual setting, the "not fake" courtesan heroine, the creepy villain and a good grovel by the hero at the end. Unfortunately the Old School vibe of the story extended over into the mind-numbing Let's Not Talk To Each Other conflict between the hero and heroine. Ultimately these two frustrated me so much that I was damn near exhausted by the time I got to that "good grovel." If you really miss the Old School, this one is right up your alley - trust me.
  

House Calls by Michelle Celmer, Silhouette Desire #1703, 2006, Grade = B-

• My first read for Keishon's TBR Challenge. Doctor hero in need of physical therapy after a gunshot wound meets his match when the physical therapist heroine arrives on the scene to kick his butt. Great characters, good communication, loved the Michigan setting, but felt the author really glossed over the heroine's eating disorder.
  

Turn It On by Vivien Arend, Contemporary Erotic Romance Ebook Novella, 2010, Grade = B-

• A traditional read with some holy cow(!) erotic sex scenes that wasn't always my cup of tea, but was a solid read. Sheltered web designer heroine trades services with security expert hero when someone vandalizes the house she inherited. Enjoyed that the heroine was sheltered and "young" without being a moron. A strong Alpha hero who finds his life turned upside down when he assumes responsibility for his special needs younger brother. Lots of sizzle in this one and it should be a winner for those readers who enjoy both "traditional" category and erotic romance. Says me.

And that's it. Only five. Oh well, no use crying about it. Onward and upward!

Hola Lola!

Contrary to popular opinion, chick lit is not dead. Certainly it's not wallpapering bookstores anymore, but the genre itself has managed to hold on thanks to authors taking what were the best aspects of chick lit and blending them with other genres. Oh, like the mystery/suspense genre. That's exactly what Misa Ramirez does with this second book in her Lola Cruz series, Hasta La Vista, Lola!

Dolores "Lola" Cruz is just your average, modern woman. She walks a tight-rope between her large family, her desire for independence, her job as a private investigator, and her stalled out love life. It's just another day for Lola when she walks into her parents' house to find every relative she knows in existence weeping and wailing, mourning....her death?! The television news has reported that local PI, Lola Cruz was found dead in an alley - but um, she's alive and kickin', standing her parents' kitchen. As the pieces fall into place, Lola soon learns she's the victim of identity theft. So who was this mysterious, fake and now dead Lola Cruz? And how did she steal her identity? And most important of all - was she the intended target and did the killer whack the wrong Lola?

There's a lot to like in this story - namely Lola who is smart, capable and learning the ropes of the PI business. There are a myriad of secondary characters that keep the plot humming along - including Lola's rather large family, her mysterious boss, Manny, her slimy ex-boyfriend, Sergio, and her maybe-boyfriend, Jack Callaghan. As Lola tries to unravel the mystery behind the dead woman with her name, she also finds herself knee-deep in family drama and her complicated relationship with Jack.

While this is a quick, fun read, I did feel at times it was trying to be all things, to all readers. This is where it stumbles a bit. As a mystery reader I wanted a lot more focus on...well...the mystery. When Lola should be investigating the identity theft and murder - she's playing waitress at the family restaurant, snooping into her cousin's marriage, babysitting kids, and locking lips with Jack. As a romance reader, I wanted a less contrived relationship with the love interest. Just as Lola and Jack start getting down to business, something conveniently keeps interrupting them. Then there's the fact that they're not really together, just tap-dancing around each other since Jack has past relationship baggage. One part of me wanted Lola to cut Jack loose, another part wanted for Jack to grow a damn pair, and still another part of me just wanted them get down and dirty and get it over with.

The mystery angle wraps up to a semi-satisfactory conclusion, although I could have used a lot more explanation of The Why (yes, we know how the impostor ended up dead, but why did she do what she did to begin with to set the whole chain of events into motion?). Also, while this book stands alone fairly well, some of the personal relationships are kind of tangled, which is where I think starting with the first book in the series may be beneficial.

As it is, this was a quick, fun read that didn't change my life but did keep me entertained. I definitely thought some aspects of the story could have a been a bit tighter, but Lola is an intriguing character that swoops in and carries the load. Definitely worth of look if you enjoy lighter mysteries with some sizzle on the side.

Final Grade = B-

Truer Than The Red, White And Blue

I know. It seems like I've been doing a ridiculous amount of promo on the blog lately. Well, brace yourselves. I've got more!

February 1 finds Harlequin unveiling three more Blogger eBook Bundles. The gals over at We Write Romance bring forth some of their Top Picks (with titles from the Intrigue, Presents, American and now-defunct Bombshell lines), while Smart Bitch Sarah gives us a rockin' socks bundle featuring titles from Blaze, Desire and Presents.

Once again, I'm up to bat with another (yes, another) bundle of Harlequin Historical titles.

This go-around my desire was to cram down your throats suggest titles that illustrate how wonderful historical romances not set in England can really be. No really, they can be. Trust me on this one.

Prairie Wife by Cheryl St. John may be my favorite title by her to date. It's a marriage in trouble story set in the west, about a once happily married couple who drifts apart when their toddler son dies in an accident. It's gut-wrenching, heart-breaking, and damn near sucks all the oxygen out of the room - but man, it packs a wallop!

Married By Midnight by Judith Stacy is an amusing story that will lighten just about any foul mood. It's also set in late 19th century Los Angeles, a setting that is criminally under-utilized. Heroine is a bridesmaid for the third time in a month and is ready to scream. Her latest wedding obligation finds her meeting up with the hero again, several years after he broke her heart. He's ready to settle to down, but doesn't want to deal with all the wedding goo-ga - so he and his buddy enter into a wager to see who can get married within the next month. He meets the heroine again, is immediately smitten with her, completely disregards the wager, they marry and whamo! Yeah, she finds out about it. Not happy. Not happy at all.

The Bride Fair by Cheryl Reavis won the RITA award in 2003 for Best Short Historical, and it's a fantastic story. Set in North Carolina, post-Civil War, the Army Colonel hero, and former POW, is commanding the local occupying troops. Needless to say, nobody is happy to have them there, especially the heroine, whose home has been commandeered to house the commanding officer (uh yeah, the hero). The war has taken everything from her, her father is very ill, and she's carrying a small mountain of burdens. Thrown into this mix is the hero, who begins to show her through his actions that he is a good man, with his own burdens to carry.

This bundle is currently on sale all over the darn place. A few places where it's available:

eHarlequin, retailing for $12.60

Books On Board, retailing for $9.98

Sony Store, retailing for $12.60

Amazon Kindle Store, retailing for $9.99

Barnes & Noble Nook Store, retailing for $9.99

But...I'm not seeing it on Fictionwise yet. Hopefully soon.

ETA: As Phyl indicated in the comments - it's up on Fictionwise now! Yippee! $14.00, with big savings if you use their micropay program.

I really loved all of these stories, and hope you'll like them too. Also, this is the first time any of them has been available (legally anyway) in a digital format. Yeah, for more formats! Yippee!