Go On With Your Bad Self Girlfriend!

Way, way, way back in September I mentioned stumbling across an upcoming Harlequin SuperRomance with the intriguing title What The Librarian Did. Which begged the question - whatever did she do? Well now we know....

She did a guy with a badass tattoo!

And shaggy hair!

And ::drool:: those arms....

And ::oh my:: look at how he fills out those jeans....

What The Librarian Did by Karina Bliss, Harlequin SuperRomance, $5.50, ISBN 9780373716227, March 16, 2010.

Description:

Is Rachel Robinson the only one on campus who doesn't know who Devin Freedman is? No big deal except that the bad-boy rock star gets a kick out of Rachel's refusal to worship at his feet. And that seems to have provoked his undivided attention. Devin, the guy who gave new meaning to the phrase "sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll." Devin, the guy who somehow becomes wedged between her and the past she's kept hidden for years.

It's up to this librarian to find out firsthand just how "bad" he really is. Because her secret—and her growing feelings for a man who claims he's bent on redemption— depend on his turning out to be as good as he seems. Which is really, really good.

ZOMG! He's a frickin' rock star! This librarian is all sorts of kick ass. Despite the dopey-ass blue ribbon she's rockin' round her collar. I'll forgive the bun in her hair. Hell, half the time I have my hair pulled back at work because it's less irritating that way.

Tee Hee - and look at that tag line:

She's got a secret that's long overdue

Seriously, just try and hold me back from this one.

Mysteriously Anticipating

One of these days the Romance Fangirl Police are going to show up on my doorstep to rip up my membership card. Never mind that my TBR can be seen from space and the vast majority of it is chock-full of romance novels - I tend to fall short in the anticipation department. Most romance readers will count down the days, hours, minutes when they'll get their hands on a favorite author's latest release. Me? Yeah, I just don't do this with the romance genre.

Now if Maggie Osborne were to come out of retirement? Or if Pamela Morsi decided to return to her historical Americana roots? Then all bets are off. But as of right now - I tend to only highly anticipate a select few mystery/suspense releases. I suspect because I've been reading that genre a helluva lot longer (20+ years) and I'm a Nostalgia Ho.

Anyway, I though to check on Laura Levine today. For the last several years, a new book in her Jaine Austen (no relation) cozy mystery series hits the shelves around April, and sure enough - Death Of A Trophy Wife, book nine, is due out on April 27, 2010.

Fangirl Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Description (from Kensington web site):

Freelance writer Jaine Austen is moving on up! A cushy new advertising gig promises champagne wishes and caviar dreams, but Jaine soon discovers she’s not the only one in town who’s making a killing…

Without a job or a date in sight, Jaine is equally out of luck in finance and romance. So when her friend Lance offers to treat her to brunch at the Four Seasons, Jaine leaps at the chance like a fashionista at a pair of half-price Louboutins. They’ve barely made it through the menu when Lance spots his friend Bunny. Dressed like a million bucks—and probably worth twice that—Bunny is the new trophy wife of mattress maven Marvin Cooper.

When Bunny generously offers Jaine a gig writing Marv’s new advertising campaign, Jaine accepts the job, and an invitation to her upcoming soirée. But at the party Bunny cruelly rules the Cooper mansion with a fist full of martinis, abusing terrified staff and her browbeaten husband alike. It seems like this society girl could use a good kick in the assets. Indeed, before the evening is over, someone poisons the D-cup diva. Dead must be the new black.

The police arrest Lance, but Jaine knows his murderous urges end at her closet door. She sets out to clear his name and discovers a list of suspects longer than Bunny’s credit card bill. Did Mattress Marv get tired of his little bunny hopping into another man’s bed, or did a jealous boy-toy fix her a fatal cocktail? Marv’s ex-wife Ellen has plenty of motives for murder, as does Bunny’s harassed maid Lupe. Or was it Bunny’s seething stepdaughter who sent her to that Great Shopping Mall in the Sky?

Jaine is running out of time. Jobless, Lance is losing his mind and taking it out on Jaine’s apartment, wardrobe, and indignant cat Prozac. And before Jaine can say 9021Oh-no someone else is murdered. Between a house guest that won’t leave, a suitor-turned-stalker, and killer on the loose, Jaine’s jackpot may turn out to be fool’s gold.

It kills me that Levine doesn't have a web site. I mean, it just keeeeeels me! Also, no kitty Prozac (yes, Jaine's pet cat is named Prozac) on the rather blah cover art. What's up with that? But....Levine is doing my library's literary event in April. Squeeeeee!

And because I know someone will ask the order of the books in this series:

This Pen For Hire
Last Writes
Killer Blonde
Shoes to Die For
The PMS Murder
Death By Pantyhose
Killing Bridezilla
Killer Cruise

Now I sit on my hands and wait for April 27 :::tap, tap, tap, glancing at calender, sigh::::

Cowboy Winner, Stupid People, and Homework Reading

Let's start this off by taking care of some unfinished business, shall we? Random.org has spoken and the lucky winner of the Take A Cowboy home T-shirt from the recent Linda Lael Miller/Harlequin promotion hosted here at the Bat Cave is....

Rebecca from Dirty Sexy Books!

Rebecca, drop me an e-mail (you can find it here) with your mailing address and I'll pass it along to the good peeps at Harlequin. They'll be the ones mailing you your prize.

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In the Please Stop Making My Brain Bleed department - a school district here in sunny So. Cal. has pulled the 10th edition of the Merriam-Webster dictionary from classrooms after a parent complained that a student apparently "stumbled" across the definition for oral sex.

Yeah, sure....stumbled across it.

Apparently this filthy dictionary had been purchased a few years earlier for the 4th and 5th grade classrooms. Now, in the sake of full disclosure - I'm not a parent. So feel free to disregard my opinion if you feel me having a Gone Fishin' sign on my ovaries renders me ignorant. But here it goes:

1) Looking up "dirty" words in the dictionary is a time-honored tradition among our youth. I went to school with several boys who considered this an extracurricular activity. Some of them turned out to be productive members of society. The others? Trust me, they all had bigger issues than looking up "dirty" words in the dictionary.

2) According to Merriam-Webster online, the definition of oral sex is

oral stimulation of the genitals : cunnilingus, fellatio

Which will likely have kids flipping through the dictionary to find out what "oral," "stimulation," "genitals," "cunnilingus," and "fellatio" mean. Heh. Also, I defy anyone to find me an unsexier definition of oral sex. I say it's not possible.

3) The bigger story here is that there was a kid out there that a) knew how to use a dictionary and b) even knew what a dictionary was. Frankly that's the part of this story that I find the most shocking.

4) Some kids are blissfully naive (my reaction at that age would have been "ewwww, gross!") and some are not. Parents, your kids could fall into the "not" category - especially if some of the stories I've heard over the years about pregnant 6th graders, BJ contests and what teenagers think are viable birth control options are true. ::shudder::

Now, I don't know for sure - but I don't think we can blame these ills on the dictionary. Just going out on a limb with that one. Parents - you have bigger fish to fry than good ol' Noah Webster. Says me. For a change of pace, let's try directing all that parental concern down more useful, and needed, avenues. Shall we? If you're at a loss, a helpful To Do List will be provided upon request.

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My library's 4th annual literary event is coming up in April, which means I need to buckle down and get my "homework reading" done for the romance genre panel. In the coming weeks I'll be posting reviews for books by Tessa Dare, HelenKay Dimon and Linda Wisdom. Historical, sexy contemporary and Funny Ha Ha paranormals. Whether or not I'll "like" all of these books is completely incidental when I'm preparing for a presentation of this type. It's more about familiarizing myself with the author's work. It also makes it pretty darn easy to run a decent panel discussion when the moderator knows what the hell she's talking about. Plus I think the audience appreciates it.

Sugar And Spice And Everything Naughty

Sometimes you can appreciate a story even though as you're reading it you know it's "not your thing." That was my experience while reading Turn It On, a new contemporary novella from Vivan Arend. There's nothing really wrong with this story, it just wasn't always my personal cup of tea. But more on that in a minute....

Maxine Turner has inherited her grandmother's sprawling house and it should be a happy time. The house holds many wonderful memories of growing up with her large, protective, close-knit family. Unfortunately she no sooner takes possession of the place when strange things start happening. Vandals break in and cause serious damage to the old place. Then there are the weird prank phone calls. So when Ryan Claymore hires her to do some web design work for his newly launched security firm, it's a match made in heaven. In exchange for getting his web site up and running, he'll install the old house with a state of the art security system.

Ryan went from military man to business man when the care of his special needs brother was thrust upon him. He's still trying to figure out what his new normal is when he meets Max and his hormones kick into overdrive. The attraction between them is immediate, but between her family, his brother and the vandalism going on at her house - will they be able to stop dealing with "issues" long enough to succumb to the passion?

Umm - that would be a big hell ya!

Turn It On is an interesting mix of traditional category romance and steamy erotic romance. On the traditional end of the spectrum we have Max, who is younger than Ryan (the author never really specifies how much younger) and she's a bit sheltered. She's not completely naive or too-stupid-to-live - she's just spent her entire life under the watchful, protective, and claustrophobic eyes of her family. In fact, she's at a point in her life where she wants to break away from them a little bit. She's desperate to spread her wings.

Max's character pretty much sets up the conflict to be a bit of a rescue fantasy. We have the young, less worldly heroine being rescued by the big, strong Alpha hero. Nothing wrong with this at all. Hell, the romance genre was practically built on this trope. It's just not a trope that flips my switch. The author avoids some of the more obvious pitfalls here by making Maxine "young" as opposed to "brain-dead." Certainly she hasn't experienced life on the same level as Ryan, but I also never felt like she was a moron either. Even when a potential too-stupid-to-live moment creeps into the story, the author is able to right the ship by having Max realize that her reaction is because she's worried and scared.

So yeah, traditional.

On the other end of the spectrum we have the erotic elements. The sex and intimacy in this story are on par with what I've read in other erotic romances. In keeping with the traditional feel of the tale, Maxine's previous sexual experiences were seriously lacking and it's up to the hero to "teach" her how great sex can be. Again, not my thing. But it's certainly hot stuff, and if this flips your switch - hey, more power to you.

I'm not a big fan of Big Strong Alpha Hero Rescuing Heroine, but it works in this story. Equal parts emotional, sweet and sexy, Turn It On is a quick read, with interesting characters, and some spice to liven up the proceedings.

Final Grade = B-

This novella is currently only available as an eBook. According to the author's web site, a print version is due out in December 2010.

TBR Challenge 2010: Let's Play Doctor

The Book: House Calls by Michelle Celmer

The Particulars: Silhouette Desire #1703, January 2006, Out of Print

Why Was It In Bat Cave TBR?: Like pretty much all category romances by unknown-to-me authors, the back cover blurb tickled my fancy.

The Review: Dr. Pete Morgan was a well-respected (and hunky) ER doctor in Detroit when a shooting left him with a shattered knee and guilt over the death of a respected colleague and friend. His answer to this guilt is to hole himself up in his parents' mansion and hide. His parents, while not being real touchy-feely, are concerned - so they hire physical therapist Maggie Holm to kick their son's butt.

Maggie works at the same hospital that Pete did, and in fact had a crush on him. But he was engaged, she was engaged, and besides - she was the "fat" girl. In fact, she's been the fat girl her whole life. That is, until recently. Thanks to a strict diet and exercise plan, she's dropped 40 pounds. But crush or no crush, she can't stand to see Pete wallow. So she's going to help him, whether he likes it or not. And that means hauling his butt up north to a cabin near Gaylord. Just the two of them, a bunch of physical therapy on his reconstructed knee, and a whole mess of sexual tension. To make it really convenient? Yeah, they're both single.

This was a nice, pleasant read that pretty much delivered what I expected. What I really liked was the fact that both Maggie and Pete talk to each other. Quite a bit actually. Him, about his "cold" parents, his years at boarding school, his determination to be nothing less than perfect, driven and successful. Her, about her self-esteem and weight insecurities, her mother's hurtful barbs about said weight, her picture-perfect (and thin) sister, her summers spent at fat camp, and how her search for acceptance as a chubby teen saw her spending time in the back seats of cars with various boys.

Ultimately both hero and heroine have issues. Pasts that they're still baring scars from, but not necessarily dwelling on. Maggie is a straight shooter, and doesn't take any BS from Pete. Pete is fairly surly, but once he's at the cabin, and under Maggie's spell, he puts on the full court press. But her past relationship disasters, and her belief that Pete is only focusing on her because of proximity, keep her a bit gun shy.

There's a lot of internal conflict in this story, and some of it is glossed over. Namely, Maggie has all the classic symptoms of someone with an eating disorder. Sorry, I just don't believe that it's that simple for someone with Maggie's past to reconcile her relationship with food and her self-image. Falling in love, and the support of a good man, is all well and good - but I'm hoping girlfriend took her ass to a therapist at the close of the last chapter. My advice? If you're looking for conflict that realistically addresses all the ugly details of having an eating disorder? Yeah, this book will likely just make you angry. It's really glossed over, and it's never even really stated, as fact, that "Yes. Heroine Has Eating Disorder." But here's the thing - some of her behaviors screamed eating disorder to me, which means it could scream for other readers as well. To not have it addressed more thoroughly is a tinch problematic.

In the end though, this was a nice, pleasant read about nice, pleasant people. I liked these two crazy kids and am glad it worked out for them.

Final Grade = B-

Harlequin Promo: Meet The McKettricks

If you've hung around the Bat Cave for any stretch of time, it's probably pretty apparent I'm a bit of a squeeing fangirl for western romances. The settings, the strong heroines with gumption, the themes of redemption and forgiveness, and oh yeah...the cowboys. Lord help me, the sight of a good looking man rockin' a pair of jeans, some boots and a Stetson just does something to me. For some women it's firemen, guys in military uniform or UPS drivers. For me? It's the cowboy. So when Harlequin asked if the Bat Cave would be a stop on their blog tour promoting Linda Lael Miller's upcoming contemporary western romance trilogy and, oh yeah, they had some behind the scene footage of the cover shoot? Well what red-blooded cowboy-lover could say no to that?

So without further ado, let me turn it over to Jayne, eHarlequin.com's Community Manager!

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Meet The McKettricks!

New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Linda Lael Miller returns with a brand-new trilogy featuring three brooding McKettrick cowboys and the feisty women who lay claim to their hearts. To celebrate this happy occasion Harlequin has not only created a book trailer for the series, but also shot a behind the scenes documentary called Meet The McKettricks: Behind the scenes at a Harlequin Cover Shoot starring our own Margie Miller, Harlequin’s single title Creative Manager. Granted Margie has a tough job, but you have to admit that on at least this one occasion any single one of us ladies here back at the Mother Ship would have gladly traded places with Margie so that we could direct the talent for this trilogy of books.

For instance meet the hero of Book One, McKettricks of Texas: Tate on sale January 26th:

A genuine cowboy with a suave side as well, Tate was destined to become a family man in his hometown of Blue River. Derailed in law school, he is now attempting to get back on course and change the local perception of him as a rich guy who plays at being a rancher to the real thing. Most importantly, he’s determined to win back the girl he left behind, hometown sweetheart Libby Remington. But how can he ask Libby to forgive him when he can’t forgive himself for the one big mistake that’s brought so much pain—and yet a double joy as well—to his life?



And then there’s Austin and Garrett pictured below…you see what I mean?? SUCH a hardship!!!

















Of course Linda Lael Miller is excitedly anticipating spending more time with her
current favorite cowboys. Can you blame her? We sure don’t and we’re hoping for even more McKettricks in the future.

So don’t forget to check out the videos and be sure to sign up for a chance to win $10,000 in a special sweepstakes promotion and leave a comment here for a chance to win a Take a Cowboy Home T-shirt from Linda Lael Miller and HQN Books!

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Thanks so much Jayne! The contest will close on Sunday, January 24 with the winner being chosen at random from comments.

Prize to be mailed from the HQN Mother Ship.

The Sheikh, The Courtesan, And An Insurance Claim

I was involved in a brief discussion on Twitter the other day about lack of communication between romantic couples. As with most things in my life, it was likely my sheer dumb luck last year that I hit a string of books (in a row) where everything would have been great if the hero and heroine would just have TALKED to each other like GROWN-UPS already. That was pretty much my reaction to Kismet, the latest historical romance by Monica Burns. Reading this book gave me a serious case of whiplash.

Allegra Synnford was raised in a brothel, eventually rescued from that life by her late benefactor. Under his tutelage, she transformed herself into a proper mistress, and his untimely death gave her the notoriety to become a much in demand courtesan. She chooses who she takes as a lover. She calls the shots, and she answers to no man. She's in Morrocco to attend a friend's wedding when she has an encounter with the most fascinating and dangerous man she's ever laid eyes on.

Sheikh Shaheen of the Amazigh has been in hiding, having fled England after being betrayed by a courtesan (yeah, we all know where this is going right?). So even though he's really a Viscount, he's happy playing Sheikh in the desert. Then he spies Allegra, and whamo! , he must have her. Like yesterday. They're both massively in lust, but they're also both so prideful that verbal sparring ensues. These two are at a stalemate, until an old enemy arrives on the scene to force their hand.

I was talking this book up at a recent So. Cal. Blogger gathering saying how much I was struck by the characters - specifically Allegra. This is no "fake" courtesan. No silly little virgin girl playing dress-up. This is a hard woman who has made the best out of life with the cards she was dealt. And believe me, she was dealt a pretty shitty hand. Her entire existence revolves around her lifestyle being about choices. She chooses her lovers. And because she chooses, that somehow elevates her above what she really does for a living. Frankly, it's splitting hairs (a prostitute is a prostitute - no matter how well you're paid). But it's easy to understand her feelings on the subject, given the choices she's had in her life. What wasn't as easy to understand was how the woman could be so smart and perceptive one moment in the story and so colossally brain-dead during others.

Shaheen is pretty much old-school hero all the way. He blames himself for a past tragedy and ran away to lick his wounds. He was betrayed by a courtesan, so therefore when he meets Allegra he immediately assumes she's also a traitorous slut because she shares the same profession. He holds on to this belief, even as Allegra continually surprises him by having some scruples. Then, naturally, after Allegra does something smart, she has to turn around and do something colossally brain-dead - which means Shaheen then has to bail her out, all while not explaining to her why he's doing what he's doing - thereby causing more misunderstandings because of lack of adult communication.

The problem with this story, ultimately, is that both Shaheen and Allegra are so frackin' proud that as the reader you just want to throttle them after a while. Neither will give an inch. Both of them play games. And both of them sling hateful words at each other to "protect" the other - because golly gee, they certainly can't tell the other one the truth! It probably wouldn't have been so frustrating if the author didn't give us tantalizing glimpses of moments when these two did behave. Did talk to each other. Did treat each other like adults. But then Allegra falls back to manipulating, Shaheen falls back on saying hateful things to Allegra in order to "protect" her, and I wanted to smack the crap out of both of them.

What this story does well, and in spades, is deliver an interesting setting, a mountain of compelling conflict, intriguing secondary characters, a seriously creepy villain, an old school vibe, and a good grovel at the end.

Which leaves me with what?

Yeah, whiplash.

Just as I would settle in and think, "Yeah, I care about this couple. I want them to be happy." One or both of them would do something so infuriating that I would be left feeling like they both deserved each other...and not in a good way. Ugh.

Final Grade = C-