What I Did On My Day Off

I had yesterday off work, and since My Man's car was in the shop, he borrowed the Batmobile to get to work. Which left me home alone, with no transportation all day. Normally an excellent time to scour the Bat Cave, do some laundry and watch Law & Order reruns. Except other than doing some cleaning, that's not what I did at all.

No I spent, literally, all day wrestling with our desktop computer and pulled off 2 Trojan horses and about 8 viruses. And the damn thing still isn't working correctly. Sigh. So it's looking like I have more wrestling ahead of me today. Crap. So annoying. I'm about ready to chuck the damn thing about the window.

If you're an pimply asshole who lives in your Mom's basement, eats your weight in microwave burritos and cooks up new computer viruses because you can't get laid? Yeah, I hope they shrivel up and fall off.

And yes. I mean that.

Of course all the wrestling with the computer did afford me the opportunity to finish up U Is For Undertow by Sue Grafton on audio book. I actually haven't "read" Grafton since high school, and she's one of those authors (like Janet Evanovich) that I pretty much listen to on audio exclusively these days. I really liked this one, a lot. There were moments in the story where I felt the author went off the beaten path, that probably would have annoyed me had I been reading ("Yeah, yeah - it's all a rich tableau. Get on with it!") but it worked for me on audio - and once again Grafton shifts points of view in this book between Kinsey and the various players that are tied in to the mystery (a 20+ year old cold case involving a kidnapping of a little girl, who was never found). A solid B+.

And now, back to wrestling with this damn computer. Oh well, at least I'm not totally screwed. We still have the Bat Cave laptop that's operational. Sigh.

That's It. I'm Out.

Yes, I still read Patricia Cornwell. I know, I know. But before you start throwing stones, I'd be willing to bet most of you have a similar deep dark secret. An author you can't give up, even though you know you should. A series you can't quit, even though each new installment leaves you questioning your sanity. I've been reading mystery/suspense way longer than I've been reading romance, so the nostalgia factor is harder for me to kick in that genre. And that's why I still read Cornwell. That, and my job has made it hard for me to kick the habit completely. "I'll just put myself on the wait list for it at work, and when I get it, I'll read it. No big deal."

After slogging through The Scarpetta Factor, the 17th installment, I think I am finally able to call it quits. I'm done. I'm out.

In lieu of an actual review, I'm going to steal Kati's terminology and call this a review-ish. Partly because I'm lazy and partly because I'm not sure what the hell I just read. When a book clocks in at almost 500 pages that's typically not a good sign.

The older I get, the less tolerance I have for bullshit. Just get to the bloody point already. Reading The Scarpetta Factor left me wondering if the author gets edited anymore. Had I been the editor on this book the margins would have been littered with red-inked chicken scratch saying things like, "Who is this? And why should the reader give a crap?," "Where the hell is this going?," "Are you going to get to the point sometime this century?," "Could we drop this nonsense and flesh out the 'suspense' - like yesterday?"

This entire book had a completely unfocused feel. There's one dead body, and one missing person. There's a whack-job former mental patient, a sleazy Hollywood actor, a crack-pot forensic specialist, the mafia, the current economic meltdown, and a CNN talking head who is a bit like Nancy Grace on crack. On top of all that is the mountain of character baggage that by now is so out of control I'm left wondering why these people aren't on serious psychotropic drugs yet. It might have worked, and been interesting, if the author had cut out about 150 pages, and got to the point - tying it all together in some way that made sense. There's also a ton of series-itis going on here - most of it I don't remember. I was left with the impression that I was supposed to already know some of the baddies, and frankly, I didn't. Which is probably an indication of how unmemorable the last several books in this series have been.

It's a mess. Truly. The only reason I kept reading was because I got my Detective Pete Marino fix. Now that the author is done bending him over and screwing with him, he's back to being a politically-incorrect, semi-hostile, but good cop. There's a moment in the story where he's telling Scarpetta how annoyed he is with his state-of-the-art Blackberry and I actually laughed. Out loud.

In the end though, none of this worked. Kay is a pale shadow of her former self. I'm left wondering how Lucy isn't in a maximum security prison yet, and I wanted to bitch-slap Benton Wesley repeatedly. Too much series baggage left unexplained. Too much unfocused rambling, and the suspense was so loosey-goosey that by the final chapters I didn't care how it all turned out or even what the hell was going on - I just wanted it to be over.

Final Grade = D-

Now let's see if I can remember all this when the next book in the series comes out. Stay strong Wendy. Stay strong.

The Business Of Baseball

After their spectacular (and pathetic) meltdown at the end of the regular season, my Detroit Tigers decided to become the Florida Marlins this off-season. Which means it's fire sale time in Detroit. Everybody must go. Trade talks have literally involved just about every player on the team, including my fantasy boyfriend, Curtis Granderson.

I originally dismissed these rumors as just that - rumors. Frankly I didn't buy it. The Tigers have invested quite a bit in Curtis, and in return, he's invested quite a bit in them. Hell, even Major League Baseball has been slobbering all over this kid. Educated, articulate, the son of two teachers, extremely active in the community, does a mountain of charity work. He's young, he's single, and at a time when MLB is concerned about the dwindling number of African American ball players - he's a black kid from Chicago playing baseball in the Motor City. Seriously, he's like a PR guy's wet dream. So yeah, I wasn't buying the rumors - that is until they kept getting louder, more insistent, and weren't going away.

Well, it's looking like it's a done deal. Curtis Granderson. Light of my life. Apple of my eye. Our cutie-patootie center fielder who I adore despite the fact that I hit left-handed pitching better than he does is going to be....

I don't know if I can say it. It's just too much.....

Excuse me for a moment.....

A Yankee.

Yes. Wendy's fantasy boyfriend is being traded to the Yankees in a three-team deal involving Detroit, the Skanks and the Arizona Diamondbacks. In exchange for my fantasy boyfriend, the Kittens are getting a couple of pitchers and an outfielder prospect.

To give you some idea on how I feel about this - not only did My Man call me at work this afternoon, but so did my father.

Yeah.

I'm sure there's a bright side here, but frankly I don't have the heart to look for it right now. In the immortal words of Scarlet O'Hara, "I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow."

Sigh.

Your Love's Coming Down Like

As a librarian, I "knew" about Rainwater by Sandra Brown months ago. I've never been a Sandra Brown reader (one of those authors I've just never gotten around to), and this book stuck in my mind mostly because it's a historical set during the Depression. Didn't mean I had any plans to read it though. That is until I read Rosie's musings on the book. That was enough to peak my interest, and knowing that I'm massively behind on my reading, I put myself on the wait list for an audio book copy at work.

The year is 1934 and Ella Barron runs a boarding house in Gilead, Texas. Her husband is not in the picture, and she has a 10-year-old son, Solly, who is autistic. Given the economic climate, she's making a passable living for herself and Solly, although her days are filled with hard work and her personal life is non-existent. That is until the local doctor shows up on her doorstep with David Rainwater. Mr. Rainwater needs a place to live and Ella has an empty room. After some haggling, Ella decides to rent him the room, only to find that his arrival on her doorstep is the first of many changes in her life and in town.

Unrelenting heat and drought have caused the local farmers and ranchers to make heartbreaking decisions in order to ensure the survival of their families. There is a local shantytown filled with desperate men and families who have nowhere else to go, that has caused much sneering among the more well-off townsfolk. Plus, being 1934 Texas, local race relations are....well, what they are. Into this mix is the villain, Conrad Ellis, a vile, hateful bully who arrives on the scene to stir up a mess of trouble.

This is not a romance novel (as we currently define the genre), and while having never read Brown, I still know enough to realize this book is a departure for her. How willing the reader is to roll with this will determine how well they like the book. Frankly, by the end of the first chapter the author has set the tone, and anyone who is left with the hope that they're going to get a Care Bear Rainbow Ending? Yeah, good luck with that.

I'm a reader who hates to feel manipulated, and I've read books of this ilk in the past where stuff comes flying in out of nowhere, like the author was told by someone they had to make the ending depressing at the last minute. I didn't get that feeling with Rainwater. For one thing, Brown pretty much lays her cards out on the table with the first few chapters. As the reader I knew how it was going to end (to a certain extent), it was just a question of the journey the author was going to take to get there.

I suspect many readers will have issues with this "depressing" tone - and while the setting, time period and aspects of the story are heartbreaking, I never felt like Brown was burying me in sadness. This is probably because the character of Ella worked so well for me. Her thoughts, her actions, her undying devotion to a son she so desperately loves but cannot reach, and her feelings for Mr. Rainwater. Frankly the tension between the two main characters is some of the best I've encountered in my recent reading, putting more than a few romance novels I've read this past year to shame.

As I mentioned, I listened to this on audio, and it's hard to say if I would have had the same reaction to this story had I read it. It is a slower story, that simmers through the first half and hits full boil towards the finish line. But I found it to be just about perfect, aided by the excellent narration of actor Victor Slezak. I was riveted to this audio book from the first CD and had to resist taking it out of my car this weekend to finish it up in the privacy of my home office.

I suspect that Rainwater is the kind of book that will divide readers. Rosie hasn't graded it yet because she needed time to think on it, and Keishon, while giving it a B, didn't write the most enthusiastic review for it. But for me? It totally and completely worked. Everything about it. From the audio production, to the narrator, to the story, the bittersweet heartache, just everything. Wow.

Final Grade = A

Heathens Read Too

Dear Secular Publishing Imprints,

I have absolutely nothing against inspirational fiction. At all. But how come inspirational publishers are more than willing to publish interesting (and yes, different) sounding historical romances and you are determined to keep recycling the same time periods and settings ad nauseam. Seriously, I want to know. Are you operating under the assumption that heathen readers don't like "different?" Cuz if you are - you're wrong. And you suck. I'm going to sit in the corner now and pout.

Sincerely,
Wendy the Super Librarian

Maid To Match by Deeanne Gist, Historical Inspirational Romance, $14.99, ISBN 9780764204081, Bethany House, June 1, 2010

Description:

From the day she arrives at the Biltmore, Tillie Reese is dazzled--by the riches of the Vanderbilts and by Mack Danvers, a mountain man turned footman. When Tillie is enlisted to help tame Mack's rugged behavior by tutoring him in the ways of refined society, the resulting sparks threaten Tillie's efforts to be chosen as Edith Vanderbilt's lady's maid. But the stakes rise even higher when Mack and Tillie become entangled in a cover-up at the town orphanage. They could both lose their jobs...and their hearts.

Yes, you read that correctly. This is a historical romance about a maid who falls in love with a footman. Be still my heart. I don't read a lot of inspirational fiction, but damn (forgive me Father), I'm reading this one. Plus, Rosie read a book by Gist recently and liked it. That's good enough for me.

(Seriously, I can't tell you how excited I was reading this description. I've always longed to see a romantic couple like this one - especially in an English historical. OK, so this one takes place in America - but still. A maid and a footman! Squee!)

The Month That Was November 2009

Here it is. The recap of what I read during the month of November. I managed to get 11 books (OK, some of these are short stories) read, which I feel pretty good about since my reading was definitely feast or famine. I was either ripping through books one after another, or stalling out for days on end. So 11 is fairly respectable for me. Here's how it all breaks down:

Title links will take you to full reviews.

Highland Dragon by Kimberly Killion, Medieval historical romance, 2009, Grade = C-

• A sexy medieval featuring a feisty tree-climbing heroine and the hero who wants to wed her to unite their feuding clans. She annoyed the crap out of me, he worked fairly well, and I liked a good portion of the conflict. Definitely a mixed bag for me, but if it sounds like your bag, I say go for it baby.
  

Under the Boss's Mistletoe by Jessica Hart, Harlequin Romance, 2009, Grade = B+

• A delightful, sweet, contemporary story about a wedding planner heroine who finds herself working for the hero, an uptight CEO who was a "bad boy" when they were kids growing up together. Adult characters who talk to each other, and the tenderness of the romance were big attractions for me. Really enjoyed it.
  

Sizzling Seduction by Gwyneth Bolton, Kimani Romance, 2009, Part Of Series, Grade = C

• Another mixed-bag read. I found the conflict surrounding the single mom school teacher heroine quite compelling, but was less enamored with the hero's baggage - which included a crazy ex-wife, a shrewish aunt, and family drama. It reads like a book four in a series as well, but a really good heroine.
  

Touch Me by Jacquie D'Alessandro, Harlequin Blaze (historical), 2009, Part Of Series, Grade = B

• I love these Blaze historicals because they're sexy and fun, but they should probably be avoided by readers who get annoyed with wallpaper history. English spy hero travels to country town to seek out former mistress of a murdered peer. Being dumped after ten years, heroine is just now recovering from being spurned when she falls for the hero - who is naturally lying to her about who he really is. If you're not totally sick of spies in Regency England, this one was a quick, solid read.
  

Cowboy Christmas by Carol Finch, Elizabeth Lane, Pam Crooks, Harlequin Historical, Western anthology, 2009, Part Of Series (sort of), Grade = C

• A totally "meh" anthology. The Finch story achieves humor and "light" by glossing over some of the conflict. The Lane story is very emotionally charged, but hinged on a plot device I can't stand (just read the damn letter(s) chica!), and the Crooks story is part of a series and felt too much like a "placeholder" to me. Worth a look if you're hooked on Crooks series - but otherwise? Meh.
  

The Christmas Stranger by Beth Cornelison, Silhouette Romantic Suspense, 2009, Book One In Series, Grade = B-

• An impulse buy that paid off. Heroine has been widowed for a year (hubby was murdered) and is volunteering at local shelter when she meets down on his luck hero. She hires him to finish renovations on her old farm house and one thing leads to another. Little does the heroine know that the hero is hiding a whopping Big Secret from her. That Big Secret hinges quite a bit on coincidence, and part of the conflict is conveniently wrapped up in the end - but all in all, a solid romantic suspense read with a touch of Christmas flavor.
  

From Waif To Gentleman's Wife by Julia Justiss, Harlequin Historical, Regency, 2009, Part Of Series, Grade = B

• I really enjoyed this story, mostly because it was a Regency historical that felt different. Gently born heroine is fired from governess job for something that wasn't her fault. She goes to country estate to find her brother, only to find him missing in action, and the hero in his place. He's hiding a Big Secret and she's running out of options. What to do, what to do?
  

Remember How I Love You by Jerry & Elaine Orbach, Non-Fiction, 2009, Grade = B+

• A slim (under 200 pages) biography of actor Jerry Orbach and an ode to his marriage to wife Elaine showcasing some of the silly, funny and heartfelt poems he wrote to her over the years. Also sheds light on the final days of the cancer that ultimately ended his life, and succeeds in portraying him as a genuinely nice guy who adored his wife and life.
  

Taming Her Irish Warrior by Michelle Willingham, Harlequin Historical, Medieval, 2009, Part Of Series, Grade = C+

• I really like Willingham's medievals, because she uses Ireland as a setting (huzzah!). This one was just OK for me, mostly because the conflict isn't a favorite of mine. We have a chick in pants heroine who likes to play warrior, and a hero who wants to wed one sister but lusts after the other. It actually works fairly well (if you go for these types of plots), although after a while I got a little annoyed with the characters for their constant "He/She isn't good enough for me" claptrap. It's OK, but I've enjoyed other books by this author more.
  

The Birthday Present by Alison Richardson, Spice Briefs, Historical erotica eBook short story, Part Of Series, Grade = C+

• Book three in a series featuring a snooty, snobby Countess and the low-born Scot she's been dragging around by his nose Mr. Happy. This story wraps up the trilogy nicely, with no loose ends and I, once again, really liked the author's writing style. However it's one of those series that ends favorably for a character who, I feel, gets way more than she deserves. It ends "well" for her, and I'm not sure how "happy" I am about that.
  

The Tale Of The Dancing Girl by Grace D'Otare, Spice Briefs, Historical erotic-romance eBook short story, Part Of Series, Grade = B+

• This was a nice surprise! Husband gets his kicks by having his wife tell him naughty stories. Her latest tale is about the widowed heroine who disguises herself as one of the Khan's dancing girls for a performance and is horrified to discover Army hero in audience. Disguise or not, he knows it's the woman he's been trying to catch the eye of. He seeks her out and one thing leads to another. An erotic, and yes romantic, story. Well done.
  

I'm split just about down the middle between B and C reads, but I still feel like I had a really good month. There are a few B+ reads on this list (huzzah!) and I discovered a few promising authors I want to read more of (D'Otare, Justiss, and Hart especially). I'm also glad I read the Orbach book, as it was a nice pallet cleanser and quite touching. All in all, a solid month.

I'm Not Here, I'm There

I'm over at Romancing The Blog today blathering on about promo. Yes, I read a mess of it and no, I don't hate all of it. I actually like some promo. To find out what, why not head on over and have a read. Maybe leave a comment if you're so inclined....