Movie Review: The Magnificent Seven (2016)

I know, I know - I'm a hypocrite.  All I ever seem to do is bitch complain about how Hollywood is gutless, lacks imagination and sticks the audience with Superhero Movie #498 and endless remakes.  So what did I do?  Practically wet my pants when I saw the teaser trailer for The Magnificent Seven.  Not only a remake, but the second remake.  So why was I so excited about this movie?  In case you're new around here:

1) Western
2) Denzel.  As a cowboy.
3) Western
4) Cowboy Denzel.
5) Western
6) Denzel riding a horse. Oh, and he's a cowboy.

I walked into this movie wanting one thing, and one thing only.  A Popcorn Movie.  I wasn't expecting Citizen Kane.  I was expecting cowboys, cowboys shooting bad guys, action, and fun.  Basically if Ocean's Eleven was a western - that's kind of what I wanted.  I wasn't expecting depth.  I wasn't expecting deep.  So what did I get?  Well....

The story opens in a traditional, throw-back, heavy-handed sort of way.  Peter Sarsgaard is our one-dimensional villain, a robber baron mine owner named Bogue who wants to run everybody off their land because...well, he wants it.  An altercation at the town church leaves Emma Cullen's husband, Matthew (Matt Bomer in a blink and you'll miss him role) dead.  Emma and some other guy (named Teddy Q, their relationship isn't really explained), end up another town over or so which is where they meet Chislom (Denzel) a bounty hunter who rides in and shoots up half the saloon.  They convince him to help dispatch of Bogue, and in turn pick up wandering gambler Faraday (Chris Pratt).

On their way back to town they recruit confederate sharpshooter Goodnight Robicheaux (Ethan Hawke), his knife-throwing partner Billy Rocks (Byung-hun Lee), Mexican bandit Vasquez (Manuel Garcia-Rulfo), ex-Indian hunter (niiiice) Jack Horne (Vincent D'Onofrio), and a lone Comanche with no tribe, Red Harvest (Martin Sensmeier). 

One of the reviews I read slammed the use of the cast - basically saying that hey, it's great that we have a diverse cast but they're literally shallow pools.  To be fair?  None of these characters, regardless of race or ethnicity can be confused with "deep."  This is a very surface movie.  Even Denzel, who is The Star, is kept at arm's length.  Further highlighting the shallowness is that there are frustrating teasing glimpses of what could have been.  The relationship between Goodnight and Billy Rocks is destined to launch a thousand slash-fiction ships (and I'd read them all).  There's a history between Chisholm and Goodnight that doesn't really go anywhere.  Jack Horne made a living hunting Indians and now he's fighting alongside a Comanche.  Vasquez is a wanted man recruited by the bounty-hunting Chisholm.  Faraday is the comic relief but beneath the surface you can detect self-loathing.  There's a lot of dynamics that could be put in play here that never really are.

What we have is a movie that clocks in at a smidge over 2 hours, and that's the problem.  It's an action movie and given the plot you know there has to be a fair amount of time spent on the fight to free the town.  The big long action scene is great, but what is sacrificed along the way is any sort of character development that goes beyond the surface broad strokes.  Everything about this movie, from the surface-only characters to the music to the villain is about as subtle as a sledgehammer and it's all telegraphed very early on.

All that being said, I didn't hate this - and I didn't hate it for a couple of reasons.  1) Those teasing glimpses are compelling and 2) Haley Bennett as Emma Cullen is a revelation.  If you are a romance author, especially if you write historical westerns - heck, even if you're just thinking about it?  This is a romance heroine right here.  When everybody else in town is too scared to fight, she goes out and finds Chisholm.  She doesn't dissolve into a puddle of goo when she gets around all those handsome men with dubious reputations and she gets to shoot a rifle.  A lot.  And she doesn't need any of the men to TEACH her how to shoot that rifle!  She already knows how and she's darn good at it!  This. Girl. Is. Awesome.

I can see all the faults of this movie (which I've just blathered on ad nauseam about...) and you know what?  I'm not sure I care.  And if you are already inclined to like westerns and, you know, Cowboy Denzel?  You'll likely feel the same way I did.  If you're ho-hum on westerns?  This one is unlikely to change you mind.

Western Fanatic Wendy Grade = B-
More Realistic Grade = C-

Final Note: Given the plot of this movie it's a given that not everybody is going to walk out alive.  Even though the characterizations are mighty thin, I still found myself kind of bummed about that - although who ends up living and who ends up dying is a fairly compelling statement unto itself. 

Movie Extravaganza

This past Monday was Memorial Day here in the States, and thanks to karma I somehow managed to have the entire weekend off.  With a three-day weekend for both me and My Man, we took the opportunity to get some movie watching done.  Between various premium cable channels, he gorged more than I did - but I still ended up watching three new movies.

I loved the first two Hangover movies (and yes, I realize that number two was essentially a rehash of number one - but dude, it had a monkey in it!), so was looking forward to The Hangover Part III as a bit of comedy fluff.  Hey, I'm a girl who likes my brain-candy, and dippy, dopey comedies of this nature fit that bill nicely for me.  Sadly, this one was disappointing, mostly because they strayed too much from the formula.  Yes, it does what all movie trilogies should do - and that is go back to the beginning - but instead of silly, over-the-top laughter?  Yeah, this movie strayed a little too far over into dark and angry territory for me.  It lacks the mindless joy of the first two.  Don't get me wrong - it has it's moments.  It's just those moments are few and far between.

Wendy's Grade = C

Behind The Candelabra has gotten a ton of press, and premiered on

HBO Sunday night (instead of Game Of Thrones, which I'm sure sent fanboys everywhere into a tizzy.  No boobies?!  Jason Bourne and Gordon Gekko in bed together?!?!?  A LOT?!?!?!??!).  For those of you who have been living under a rock, this is the story of Liberace and Scott Thorson, his lover and partner for several years during the late 1970s / early 1980s.  We learn in this movie that Liberace is a Sex Machine, Thorson gets hooked on drugs, and they both have creepy plastic surgery done.

This was a good movie, but not nearly as excellent as the hype would have liked me to believe.  The acting is very good.  Michael Douglas is always worth watching in just about everything he does (I find his screen presence mesmerizing) and Matt Damon does a good job of straddling that line between naivete and corn-fed doofus.  However, I felt like the script barely scratched the surface.  It seems unbelievable now, but Liberace was "in the closet" - and I think that could have been mined more for dramatic effect.  Also, most of the secondary cast was criminally under-utilized, most notably Debbie Reynolds.  But it's glitzy, it's kitschy, it does a good job of offering up a time capsule of Las Vegas circa 1978.

Wendy's Grade = B

I tend to not have a lot of patience for when movie franchises (especially successful ones) get rebooted.  Been there, done that - can't we move on to, oh I don't know, some new ideas?  But I will say that the recent reboot of the Star Trek franchise is one of the better done ones - mostly notably because the casting is so spot-on.  Star Trek Into Darkness is the second entry in the helmed J.J. Abrams version of the series, and I really, really loved it.  And I'm not a Trekkie, at all.  I know enough about the series to know the characters, a smattering of back-story, and that's about it.  Into Darkness gives viewers a good story, a great villain, and a really good script.  The dialogue is good, the action is great, and there were more genuine laughs here than in The Hangover Part III.  It really is a movie that can be enjoyed by just about everyone.  There's action, there's adventure, there's comedy, there's drama, hell, there's even a wee bit of romance.  My big thumbs up on the weekend.

Wendy's Grade = A

My Man and I used to be avid movie-goers, sometimes hitting the theater several times a month.  Those days have largely gone - mostly because Hollywood seems to be turning about a bunch of crap the last several years.  But while in the theater this weekend, we did see some previews that looked promising.  Man Of Steel looks great (and I am so not a Superman fan), the extended trailer for The Lone Ranger has seriously kicked my western-mojo into overdrive, and hello?  Despicable Me 2.

So, have you seen any good movies lately?  Anything coming out this summer that you're particularly excited about?

Movie Night At The Bat Cave

Very minor spoilers ahoy! This has been out on DVD for a long while now - but I'm nice and still warning ya.

Final scene in The Wrestler. Fade to black. Bruce Springsteen starts warbling.

Me: Oh. My. God. This better not be the end or I'm gonna be pissed.

After several moments of black screen, credits start rolling.

Me: Oh. My. God. How much did that suck?

My Man: I liked it.

Me: I didn't end!!!!!!!

My Man: It did so "end." It just didn't end the way you wanted it too.

Dammit. I hate it when he's right.

Me: I didn't end! It just stopped!!!!!!

My Man: Not everything has to be like one of your books Wendy. Life doesn't wrap itself up neatly and tie a bow around itself.

Me: And that, my dear, is exactly what is wrong with the world today.

My Man: Well, I liked it.

Me: Ugh! It didn't "end!"

++++++++++

Final Thoughts With Super Librarian: The Wrestler is worth seeing if you're an acting junkie. The acting is very good in it. Most noteworthy, Marisa Tomei is particularly wonderful. I told My Man that not many actresses her age would take such a risk playing that part (she spends 95% of the movie naked). To his credit My Man says that not just any actress could. Not just because Tomei is in great shape (she is by the way), but because she can do "vulnerable" really, really well. She's that interesting mix of kick-ass, tough-as-nails Jersey girl, with a soft marshmallow center.

Evan Rachel Wood is also very good here - and one forgets that she's actually a capable actress. I'm always distracted by her on-again, off-again relationship with Marilyn Manson. Besides the icky age difference, that guy is just plain creepy.

Mickey Rourke. Hmmmm, I'm just not seeing this as some great comeback for him. First off, he's been "back" for several years working as a character actor. And I might be in the minority here, but Rourke The Character Actor is way more interesting to me than Rourke The Leading Man. Don't believe me? Check out The Rainmaker, Man On Fire and/or Sin City. Rourke is so good in those parts you actually want to see more of him. Leading man material? Yeah, he's never done all that much for me. That includes 9 1/2 Weeks. For anyone reading this who is under the age of 25? Yeah, Mickey Rourke used to be hot. My advice is to do a shot of vodka, lay down, and put a cool washcloth on your forehead. Yeah, Mickey Rourke used to be hot.

Final Grade = C-. The Acting = B+/A-

I'll Take Potpourri For $200 Alex

I still seem to be flailing about looking for solid ground (and routine) after my parents' visit. So in the hopes of getting back to my normal, boring, self, we have a potpourri blog post!

First, isn't that picture just the cutest thing you've ever seen? That's my niece reading Coraline by Neil Gaiman. Sometimes I forget that she's 7 and reading "big kid" books now. Gah, how time flies! I'm not sure when I woke up and got old - but it's a little disconcerting to say the least.

My own reading took a serious nose-dive with the visit of the Super Librarian parents, and yesterday I think I kicked my ass in gear by finally finishing The Diamonds Of Welbourne Manor anthology. Oh, and look! The review has already been posted over TGTBTU.

I've still got several May Harlequins to read. Sigh. I really like to get them read, reviewed and posted the month they come out - but it can't be helped this go around. Look at this way. If something sounds good, you can always order them online even if they've vanished from brick and mortar stores.

I hope everyone had a good Memorial Day weekend. My Man and I finally made a dent in our movie watching. We saw Wolverine and Angels & Demons. I was really expecting Wolverine to be horrible, and while it is certainly cheesy, I found it a watchable popcorn movie. I also liked how they tied it into the previously released X-men movies.

I had no huge desire to see Angels & Demons, but My Man wanted to see it, so we went. Frankly, the only reason The Da Vinci Code was made into a movie was because the book sold a bazillion-jillion copies. No sane person would read that book and think, "Wow this would make a great movie!" But I ended up pleasantly surprised by Angels & Demons. For one thing, I think the story is better than The Da Vinci Code. For another? We've got Ewan McGregor. OK, so it's more than a little dirty that he plays a priest and all I could think about was getting under his robes - but still Ewan McGregor. Hell, he's the only reason that the Star Wars prequels were even remotely watchable. Is it wrong to have naughty fantasies about Obi-Wan Kenobi? Yummers!

My final verdict on both movies is that you can wait for DVD. They were both decent ways to blow through an afternoon, but nothing so spectacular that you'll be missing out on much if you decide to wait.

Still....Ewan McGregor. ::drool::

Superman Is Gay

Just another Sunday night at the home of a mild mannered librarian....

The Boyfriend: So will you watch Superman Returns with me?

Me: Sure

Some time later....

Me: If you're going to have Kevin Spacey (who totally rocks!) play Lex Luthor at least give him something to do! This movie is going to go somewhere any minute now, I can feel it!

The Boyfriend: I always hated the character of Kitty. Like Lex Luthor would put up with someone like her.

Me: That kid is creeping me out. Doesn't he look just like Christopher Reeve?

The Boyfriend: Not exactly like him, the forehead is similar though.

Me: I'm telling you, it's his long lost son!

Photographic evidence:

















Getting towards the end of movie

Me: Superman is so gay.

The Boyfriend: Why don't you like Superman?

Me: Like how stupid are these people? Clark Kent takes off his glasses, throws on some spandex and nobody recognizes him?

The Boyfriend: It's all about attitude. Nobody sees the similarities because Clark doesn't act like Superman. Clark is a bumbling idiot.

Me: And what's with the pining away for Lois? Sorry, but girlfriend isn't that hot. This is what annoys me about Spiderman too - he pines away for that annoying Mary Jane. Batman never pines - that's why Batman is cool.

The Boyfriend: What about Catwoman?

Me: OK, she wears black latex and carries a whip - I mean can you blame him? What with his vigilante tendencies and his inability to move on from his parents' deaths, Batman is the poster boy for antiheroes. Batman has issues. Besides, maybe his attraction to latex-lovin' Catwoman means he's a switch.

The Boyfriend: coughing Batman as a switch?! Wendy, you need help.

Me: You know I'm right, you just won't admit it.

Haven't posted much this week because I don't know whether I'm coming or going these days. I've been dividing my time between 3 different libraries. My boss left me a note this morning addressed to the "vagabond librarian." Honestly, I'm beginning to feel like one.

I did want to post about an unusual little movie I watched earlier in the week - Secretary, which stars everyone's favorite slimy yuppie Brat Packer - James Spader.

In a nutshell this movie is about a girl recently released from a mental hospital because she's into self-mutilation (you know - cutting herself, burning herself etc.). To escape her completely whacked out family, she decides to take a job as a secretary for a lawyer. Now our lawyer also has some issues - namely he's a dominant personality and is more than a bit disgusted with himself. So begins their relationship - based on humiliation, dominance and submission - but along the way, I'm convinced they are truly in love.

Whether or not you think S&M behavior can exist in a healthy relationship isn't really the point this movie is trying to make. I have this thing for unconventional love stories - and Secretary is about as unconventional as they come. It's moving, it's gripping - it makes me want to buy the DVD for myself. Color me a sicko if you want. I can't help it.

Back to work after a long relaxing weekend.

The boyfriend and I went and saw the Matrix sequel this weekend and I have to say that I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would. I was sort of indifferent on the first movie - while I admired the concept and story I was wholly annoyed by the dialogue. Every time the character's opened their mouths a big hunk of cheese fell out. I still crack up laughing every time I think about Lawrence Fishburne reverently muttering "He Is The One."

Now with The Matrix Reloaded the screenwriters hit upon a nice formula - lots of cool action sequences, little dialogue. There was one highly improbable moment that had me choking back giggles, but generally speaking it was well worth the price of my matinee ticket.

Also went out to the bar with my best friend Sunday night and had entirely too much fun. Needless to say I was nursing a bit of a hangover Monday morning - nothing a pot of tea and a 3 hour nap couldn't fix.

I also finished up Point of Honour by Madeleine E. Robins, which I ended up really enjoying. Sent a review of it off this morning and it should be posted within the week over at The Mystery Reader.

My wacky digestive issues reared their ugly heads last night - so I spent the evening camped out in my overstuffed chair with a heating pad and the Oscar telecast. All I have to say is what man didn't want to be Adrien Brody last night? That lip-lock with Halle Berry stands out in my mind as pretty memorable - more so than Michael Moore's rant - like who didn't see that coming a mile away?

As for Brody's win - I have yet to see The Pianist, mainly because the city where I live lacks any sort of art house movie theater. Hopefully now that it's won a couple of Oscars one of the mainstream theaters will deem it worthy enough for some screen time. Otherwise I'll just have to wait for the DVD.

Personally, I thought Brody was underappreciated for his work in Summer of Sam - an underappreciated film all the way around. Sure it's not Spike Lee's best (how does one top Malcolm X?) - but it's an interesting character study. I do recommend it, and it's got a pretty good soundtrack besides.

My boyfriend watches movies like I read books. Besides a media studies major I knew in college (Hey Sly!), Dan has seen more movies than any other person I know. I've tried to tell him this isn't normal, but he takes one look at my overflowing book case and I tend to clam up.

We happen to live near a university campus, and there is a local video rental place that has pretty good stock. You can find a lot of off-the-beaten path stuff there, as well as the big blockbusters. A good thing, since Dan and I are running out of options when it comes to renting. Whether he was desperate the other night or whatever, I don't know - but I talked him into renting a movie that has been catching my eye for months now - The Cat's Meow.

I'm a history junkie. I'm also a pop culture idiot savant. Dan jokes that he may watch a ton of movies, but that he keeps me around to remember the pesky details - like titles, actors, you know - the minor stuff.

We both rather liked the movie - Dan was pleased to see another movie where Kirsten Dunst displayed talent (I know I can't be the only one who was annoyed by her in Spiderman) and I rather liked Eddie Izzard's take on the late Charlie Chaplin. Joanna Lumley is also fab with her dry wit and sarcasm. I highly endorse it - whether you find early Hollywood a fascinating subject or not.