NFL Draft Widow

For those of you who have a life, you're most likely unaware that the NFL Draft is this weekend. You know how I feel about romance novels? Well, that's how My Man feels about the NFL Draft. He loves it. Adores it. Lives for it every year. And every year I brace myself for the inevitable:

1) In their infinite wisdom the NFL has decided to stretch the draft out over three days. Three days! Round 1 tonight. Rounds 2 and 3 tomorrow. Rounds 4 through 7 on Saturday. I hate this. My Man hates this. The NFL is doing it because they're greedy frickin' a-holes with dollar signs flashing before their eyes. And since there's a core of the football watchin' population that lurves the Draft, they're pretty much stuck watching it how the NFL wants it delivered - so this three day experiment will likely score big ratings and will be here to stay.

2) By Day Two My Man will be cursing out the bone-headed Talking Heads for talking about the same five players over and over again. My Man, being a Draft-junkie, likes to hear about the guys nobody has ever heard of. The players that will get drafted in rounds four and lower. Instead the Talking Heads will keep up a steady stream of inane chatter about the Top 5 picks, which will now drag on over the course of three long days.

3) The Buffalo Bills will have a horrible draft and will very likely do something incredibly stupid. This year, my money is on them drafting Tim Tebow. I asked My Man what would happen should Buffalo do this and his exact words were, "I'm done. I'm out. That's it. If they draft Tebow that means they're listening to Jim Kelly. ::shudder::"

You heard it here first folks. I figure if I blog about it, then he has to follow through, assuming Buffalo does lose their minds and draft a guy who is as much of an NFL quarterback as I am (Ha!). I told My Man that this could be good for his soul. His relationship with the Bills has been entirely one-sided for entirely too long. He's loved them. He's devoted his life to them. He's stood by them. And what has he gotten in return?

Nothing but heartache.

Of course I'm a Detroit Tigers fan, so I probably shouldn't be talking smack. Hello pot, meet kettle.

So that's what I'll be doing this weekend. The usual chores, hopefully some reading, all while listening to My Man yell at the Talking Heads and cursing out The Bills.

Fun times at the Bat Cave.

(I kid though. I like watching bits of the Draft. Just not the entire weekend. After a while the Talking Heads get to me. And simmer down Tebow fans. If this kid turns out to be anything other than happy shiny off-the-field PR I'll be the first to line up to eat crow. But in my opinion? I won't be dining at your table anytime...well...ever.)

Monday Morning Quarterback

For those of you who have only recently discovered this blog because of my last Ranty McRanty editorial post, this is the Honeymoon Is Over post. Yeah, I occasionally blog about stuff that nobody really cares about. Namely sports.

Tonight marks the first official game of the NFL regular season. This makes My Man very happy. He loves football. Loves it. If you cut him open, he would most likely bleed football. I also enjoy football, but I'll be honest - I really only started watching it because of him. See, we're one of those couples that has nothing in common. No really, we don't. If either one of us had resorted to Internet dating (we hooked up the old-fashioned way - getting drunk and meeting at a college fraternity party), we never would have been "matched." Since it seemed unlikely that he would take up reading romance novels, I decided to "learn" football. And glory be, I actually have come to enjoy it.

However this year is already looking like a slog for me. Why? Because gentle blog readers, I have the great misfortune of being a Buffalo Bills fan. It's not entirely my fault. I went to college in Buffalo, and sometime during those years when I was earning two degrees the university implanted a microchip in my brain rendering me a Bills fan for life.

It's hard to get excited about the football season when your team seems content to mire itself in mediocrity. Especially when this past off-season they could have done so much to make themselves suck a little less.

And no, signing Terrell Owens does not count as "doing something." We signed T.O. for one reason. The Old Goat who owns the Bills figured signing T.O. would sell more tickets. And T.O. signed with Buffalo (seriously, Buffalo?!?!) because he has officially pissed off too many people in the NFL. While I think T.O. is a talented receiver, I also know that you need someone who is going to throw him the ball - and hello? Trent Edwards? They still think Edwards is starting quarterback material? Really?

The starters didn't score one offensive touchdown during the preseason. Not one. You don't have to know jack about football to know that really sucks ass. This bit of ineptitude led to the firing of the offensive coordinator....already.

I haven't even gotten into what is passing for our offensive and defensive lines these days.

Oh and did I mention we're opening the season against the New England Patriots on Monday night? Yeah, that'll go well... /end sarcasm

It's a sad state of affairs that I'm more interested in watching the Detroit Lions this year than the Bills. Well, sober at any rate.

Yep, a bit difficult to muster up much enthusiasm. I should take heart though. As crappy as the Bills are likely to be this year? We're still not as big a suck-hole as the Oakland Raiders organization.

Now, to find myself a nice cushy bandwagon to jump on....