OK, this is getting old. But at least no one can accuse me of not trying to meet Keishon's TBR Challenge this month.I've just DNF'ed another book. Yes, another one. I hate doing this for two books in a row, especially when I got all the way to page 225 in Just One Touch by Debra Mullins. However I got to the point where picking up the book and trying to read more was making me angry. As in, Hulk-like angry. Yeah, it was time to give up the good fight.
If you've ever been uncertain what the term "wallpaper historical" means, look no further. This book could be Exhibit A. Reading it reminded me of a line from the movie Goodfellas:
"Can't even get decent food - right after I got here, I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce, and I got egg noodles and ketchup."It's supposed to be a Regency, but honestly there's no flavor here. The author could have plunked these characters down in any other time period or setting and she wouldn't have had to change anything.
But, let me make a confession: Wallpaper history does not make an automatic DNF for me. I can roll with them if there's enough "other stuff" in the book to keep me engaged. Sadly, in this case there wasn't.
Reading about these characters was like dining at the RomanceLandia Character Trope Buffet. Seriously. It was everything and the kitchen sink and all the junk you have piled up in your garage. It's a mess. Let's take the hero for example. In order of appearance:
- In his younger days he would drink, debauch and get into fights, so we have a rake, right? No, wait a minute....
- He goes off to war, is taken prisoner and is haunted by his experiences. So we're getting a wounded hero with PTSD, right? No, wait a minute....
- He comes home and finds his father and brother have gambled and debauched away their finances, and he wants to restore the family reputation. So, we're getting a driven hero determined to restore pride in his family name, right? No, wait a minute...
- He's a Horse Whisperer who is more comfortable with animals than people. So we're getting a gentle Beta hero who is shy around girls, right? No, wait a minute....
- He's charming and roguish and likes to playfully tease the heroine, so we're back to "reformed" rake, right? No, wait a minute....
- He has the family "curse" (dun, dun, dun!) which entails a "bad" temper. So we're getting a Beast-like character who will be soothed by the love of a good woman, right?
Then there were plot points that didn't make any sense whatsoever. The hero's "curse" is essentially a bad temper. A bad temper that causes him to beat-up his wastrel, drunken older brother who comes around begging for money, and the stranger he comes across who is whipping a horse half to death on the side of the road. Oooooh, scary! The man is out of control! Prone to fits of rage without any provocation whatsoever! / end sarcasm
Then we have the heroine's idiot father who thinks he's being poisoned to death and yet does nothing about it. Granted, he has no proof, but don't you think a frickin' Duke could at least get off his lazy butt and, oh I don't know, maybe travel away from the estate where he thinks he's being slowly poisoned to death? Way to be proactive dude!
The heroine is your standard issue wounded Regency miss who jumps at her own shadow because of a kidnapping-for-ransom episode some years earlier. I wasn't entirely unsympathetic, but between the author spoon-feeding me the story (repetition, we haz it), the hero's multiple personality disorder, and her annoying beyond words Daddy - I got pretty sick of her scared little girl who needs protecting shtick after a while.
And that, as they say, was that. I couldn't take it anymore. Which means I'm now back to square one in trying to get my TBR Challenge done for this month. At this point, with two failed historicals under my belt, I'm thinking I need to totally change course. Maybe something erotic, suspenseful or a contemporary? On the bright side, that's now two books I've gotten off the TBR Mountain.
Final Grade = DNF
