#TBRChallenge 2016: How Times Have Changed

Title: No Mistaking Love by Jessica Hart

The Particulars: Contemporary romance, Harlequin Romance, 1993, Out of print, not available in digital

Why Was It In Wendy's TBR?: A few years ago I fell in love with Jessica Hart's Harlequin Romances, and naturally she has a ginormous backlist that I've been collecting ever since.  This is one of her oldies.

The Review: One of the misconceptions about genre fiction that tends to annoy me the most is when people seem to think that genre doesn't evolve.  That it doesn't change.  That the romance novel published today is going to be identical in style and tone as a romance novel published 20 years ago.

Um, no.

No Mistaking Love is a perfect example.  Cracking open my battered used copy, reading the first few paragraphs, I knew I was reading a Jessica Hart story.  This is truly amazing, but her style and her skill in the category format was just as strong in this 23-year-old book as it is in her more recent works.  The words sing off the page.  Her way of setting her stage, of developing her characters - I knew these people inside and out before I was clear of the first chapter.  Where this book shows genre evolution?  Baby, it's all in the content.  I wanted to gut the hero before I got out of Chapter Two and my opinion of him never rose above garden slug.

And that's probably an insult to garden slugs everywhere.

Kate Finch had a horrible crush on Luke Hardman (get it? "hard" and "man?") when she was a gawky, awkward teen girl with Coke-bottle glasses.  She's all grown up now, but that doesn't mean she's not above feeling flummoxed when she spots Luke at the theater one night.  After all, most girls don't forget their first kiss.  But it's a brief moment, they don't even speak in fact, and she's put it all out of her mind until she shows up to a job interview she has the next day.  You guessed it - that too-good-to-be-true sounding secretarial job?  Turns out Luke Hardman is now her boss.  Oh, and he doesn't recognize her - which any romance reader worth her salt knows is going to come back to bite Kate in the butt during the final chapters.

Luke is cookie-cutter, high-handed, Alpha jerk.  The author tap dances a bit around his insecurities of "not being good enough," but this is so minimally explored he merely comes off as a boorish AlphaHole.

"Oh really?  In my experience, women have a fine disregard for the truth when it suits them!  I'm sure you can type, I'm just not convinced that you haven't increased your speeds - oh, just an extra ten or twenty words a minute! - to make your CV look more impressive."

And this would be on page 29.  DURING THE JOB INTERVIEW!!!

Luke is like this for the whole blessed book.  Right down to telling Kate she WILL get her hair cut to look more stylish and sophisticated and he WILL buy her a new wardrobe for the same effect before they go on a business trip to Paris.  And even though he told her to be polite and charming to the French businessmen he wants to broker a deal with, when she is polite and charming he accuses her of forgetting that it was a "business meeting":

"Instead of tarting yourself up like a dog's dinner and leaning all over Xavier so he could get a good look at your cleavage?  Anyone watching you would have known that business was the last thing on your mind!"

This is Luke for the whole blessed book.  When he's not being insufferably rude, he's being a possessive jerk.  I seriously loathed him from the moment I met him to the close of the final chapter.

Kate on the other hand?  Despite the fact that she falls for Luke (thereby making me question her intelligence) - this was the early 1990s.  Which means romance heroines were starting to push back a bit more against brutish heroes.  They'd still swoon, but at least they'd do some pushing back.  Kate verbally spars with Luke to the point where you can almost confuse this with an Enemies To Lovers story.  She gives as good as she gets - it's just a shame that Luke doesn't seem to learn his lesson.  At all.  They're blissfully in love at the end (because of course), but there's nothing on the page to make me think Luke will change his ways AT ALL.  He was a high-handed jerk at the start of the story, he remains one at the end.

And did I mention that at the start of the story he's dating a model Kate knew growing up?  And that towards the end of the story he's sending Valentine's Day flowers to not only Model Helen, but some chippy named Lynette as well?

RUN KATE!  RUN AND SAVE YOURSELF!

Sigh.

However, I'm not entirely sorry I read this.  Hart's writing and style sing for me, even when it's 23-years later.  The way she weaves a story is just marvelous.  This is also an interesting book when looking through the lens of category romance history.  The story is entirely the heroine's point of view (as it so often was back in the day), but she's got some backbone.  This isn't a damsel waiting to be rescued.  It's just too bad it's 1993 and we were still stuck on this sort of insufferable hero.  Although really, these days the genre is boasting criminals, mafia bosses and stalkers as "heroes."  Luke is positively Boy Next Door in comparison.

If you're a Hart fan, I do think there is some merit to reading this - if only to further immerse yourself in the history of her writing.  As a category romance history nerd?  There's also some merit to be found here (did I mention the fairly graphic - by 1993 standards - sex scene?  In a Harlequin Romance!).  However if you don't nerd out on old categories and you've never read Hart before?  Yeah. It's not worth a treasure hunt through library sales or used bookstores.

Final Grade = D+

Retro Review: Derik's Bane

This review of Derik's Bane by MaryJanice Davidson was first published at The Romance Reader in 2005.  Back then I rated it 2-Hearts (D grade) with a MPAA sensuality rating of R.

+++++

Derik Gardner is a werewolf with a problem – turns out he’s Alpha. Derik’s pack already has an Alpha, his best friend, and two Alphas in one pack is not a good thing. So not wanting to usurp his best friend’s rule, he’s pretty much decided to hit the road. Then a mission comes along that hastens his departure.

Dr. Sara Gunn happens to be the reincarnation of Morgan Le Fay, King Arthur’s dreaded half-sister. Another werewolf tells Derik that Sara (who doesn’t realize that she’s Morgan) will destroy the world if he doesn’t “take care of her.” So Derik hops in a convertible and hits the road for sunny California.

Sara is not having a good day. Her car bites the dust, some robed weirdoes show up at her hospital and try to kill her, and now there’s a werewolf standing in her kitchen who half-heartedly tries to strangle her. Derik naturally cannot kill Sara – not only is she cute, but she’s just too ditzy to be an evil sorceress. So the two decide to hit the road to change her fate and save the world from the robed weirdoes.

Derik’s Bane is book 3 in Davidson’s Wyndham Werewolf series – the first two stories being entries in Secrets anthologies from Red Sage Publishing. While previous characters do make appearances, Davidson doesn’t clutter up this tale with too much back-story. Newcomers will have no problem keeping up.

Unfortunately, enjoyment of Derik’s Bane hinges solely on how well the reader likes quirky. This book is so full of quirky that by the halfway point I had spots dancing before my eyes. Sara, Derik and every other character speak constant wisecrack. In fact, there are so many one-liners, pop culture references, and foul-mouthed asides that it is safe to say there isn’t one meaningful conversation in this entire book. It’s okay and a little fun for the first 100 pages, but by page 300 it strains the seams of credulity.

Somewhere in the middle of all the smart-ass dialogue, the romance gets lost – as in there just plain isn’t one to speak of. Oh sure, Sara and Derik end up together but their courtship leaves a lot to be desired. In fact, one gets the feeling that besides the great sex they have (and really, there’s only one scene where the sex is “great,” the other two instances are rather pathetic) what they really like is the adventure they are on.

Ultimately, this is a very silly book. Silly can be good when it’s done right, and for the first 100 or so pages it’s done right here. But somewhere around the time that Derik tries to kill Sara and she hurls insults and a jar of Noxema his way it started to quickly lose charm. Who defends themselves against an attacker by throwing DVD cases, Noxema and an empty box of chocolates them? Why not grab a butcher knife from the kitchen or run down your residential street screaming at the top of your lungs? But that’s neither here nor there.

Davidson certainly has a very distinctive voice, one that will divide readers. Either you’ll love this book or strongly dislike it – there’s not a whole lot of room for middle ground here. Readers looking for fluff or enjoy silly for silly’s sake will find a lot to like here. It’s not that this book isn’t humorous, there is just absolutely nothing serious tossed in to add dimension and diversity.

+++++

Wendy Looks Back: This would be the point in my romance reading life where I discovered that a little wacky goes a long way for me.

Review: When Good Tropes Go Bad

Last month's TBR Challenge theme was Favorite Trope and like most challenge participants, I had a hard time choosing what to read.  Do I scour the TBR looking for a Virgin Hero or pick up a  Boss/Secretary romance?  Ultimately Virgin Hero won, but it did have me posing a question on Twitter - did the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup exist?  Had anyone written a virgin hero and a boss/secretary romance in the same book?  They had.  A Beauty Uncovered by Andrea Laurence.  I mean, how could I not download this?  But you know what they say about wishes, horses and best intentions.  Yeah, issues. I haz them.

Samantha Davis needs a job.  She got fired from her last place of employment when she had an affair with her boss (who she didn't know was married and whose wife worked for the same company - oopsie!).  Her godmother is getting ready to go on a month-long vacation and convinces her boss, the mysterious Brody Eden, to hire Sam for the month.  Basically it's one part secretary (the usual office stuff) and one part gopher (she'll have to pick up his dry cleaning).  Since Brody tends to hide himself away in his office like the Wizard of Oz and the salary for one month's work is obscene, this should be the easiest gig ever.  But, of course, Sam (also known as Little Miss Fixer) can't help herself from rattling the beast's cage.

Brody was put in foster care after his father went to prison for abusing him (and his mother stood by her man).  This abuse left Brody with scars down one side of his face and body.  That's right kiddies!  Not only do we have a Virgin Hero and Boss/Secretary we also have a Beauty and the Beast trope!  Let's take a moment, shall we?

He takes one look at Sam and is a goner.  But oh noes! He has scars!  He lives his life in seclusion even though he's the CEO of a Super Mega Software Company.  For once the Virgin Hero in the contemporary setting is the least absurd thing about this book.  The obstacles Brody goes through to keep his seclusion in check (when he's Bill Gates) caused quite a bit of eye-rolling on my part.

The story starts out fairly well.  Sam has been burned badly by an office romance before and Brody is brooding and mysterious.  Unfortunately it slides south almost immediately.  Given Sam's past the fact that she meddles almost immediately and jumps whole hog into wanting Brody's sexy, sexy bod smacks dead center into Too-Stupid-To-Live territory.  You get fired from your last job because you slept with your married (even if you didn't realize that fact) boss.  Maybe this is just me, but I would stay far, far away from men for a while - and my next boss?  H-E-to-the-double-L no.  There's a nanosecond of hesitation on Sam's part and then it's like she can't get her panties off fast enough.

I also realize this is a Desire, so we're looking at a really short word count, but there's literally no tap dance between Sam and Brody.  Once she gets him out of his office, they meet in person, it's like wham-o!  Now we're in bed burning up the sheets.  Tap dancing can be done in short word counts.  It's hard.  It's not easy.  But it can be done.  Category readers can give you a laundry list of books that pull it off.  This one does not.

But again, Beauty and the Beast, Virgin Hero and Boss/Secretary.  This was firmly in the C range before it happened.  The series baggage showed up and it's straight up I Know What You Did Last Summer.  This is book two in the Secrets of Eden series involving foster kids raised by the Eden couple.  One day an older boy shows up and he's "bad news."  Steals money from Mom.  Starts leering at the 13-year-old girl.  Then one day when Dad is sick in bed, the kids are doing farm chores, something happens, and Bad News Older Boy ends up dead (it's not disclosed, but my guess is one of the boys - not Brody - finds Bad News Older Boy attempting to assault the girl and accidentally kills him).  They're scared foster kids so they bury the body on the parent's land.  That portion of the land has just been sold (which happens in the first book) and now Bad News Older Boy's Sister comes sniffing around.

Really, there's so much wrong with this I don't know where to begin.  Justifying murder in your romantic couples is always a tricky business, but hey - Convict Heroes and Wrongly Accused are their own dang tropes.  But the whole "he was bad news" and "we're scared foster kids" thing?  Sorry, not buying.  Yes, I'm unfeeling, but these kids had options.  Especially since the Edens were apparently Magically Extraordinary Foster Parents.  Suspense can show up outside of Harlequin Intrigue, but sandwiched in with Beauty and the Beast, Virgin Hero and Boss/Secretary?  In the Desire word count (around 180 pages)?  It's too much.  Way too much.  And it felt completely off-tone from the rest of the story.  Also the impression I got that Bad News Older Boy "deserved" to be murdered?  Yeah. No. Just....no.

The lesson here is be careful what you wish for.  I did inhale this book in one sitting, but quite honestly?  It's kind of a hot mess.  I was mentally editing and rewriting it as I went along.  Mores the pity.

Final Grade = D

Mini-Reviews: All Things Audio

Audiobooks have been the only thing keeping my reading afloat these days, and it's a way to 1) keep me entertained on my long commute and 2) mix-up my normal reading groove beyond the usual 95% romance, 5% mystery/suspense.  Here are some quick thoughts on my most recent listens.

But Enough About Me: A Memoir by Burt Reynolds - OK, so I kind of have a thing for Burt Reynolds.  I'll admit it - I'm not completely immune to the whole "good ol' boy" Southern vibe.  This book is written vignette style, with Reynolds not focusing on a linear timeline of his life, but rather talking about people, places etc. that have meant something to him over the years.  The downside to listening to this on audio is that Reynolds narrates and his voice has not aged well.  Reynolds is in his 80s now, and his voice sounds like it.  Sometimes it was strong, and sometimes I could barely make out what he was saying.  But on the plus side?  Reynolds would get emotional at times and it helps to reinforce that he's a real person underneath the persona.  I got choked up hearing Reynolds get choked up talking about Dom DeLuise.  Final Grade = C+

Sing to Me: My Story of Making Music, Finding Magic and Searching for Who's Next by L.A. Reid - Dating myself, but I graduated high school in the early 1990s, so my curiosity about this book stems entirely with Reid's partnership with Kenny "Babyface" Edmonds in LaFace records - which gave us superstars like TLC and Toni Braxton.  The duo also worked with a number of other notable artists that were part of the whole "New Jack Swing" scene at the time (like Bobby Brown and Boyz II Men).  My favorite parts of this were learning more about Reid's life as a performer/musician and the LaFace "stuff."  My interest waned a bit the closer we got to present day (I could care less about OutKast, Kayne, Bieber or Reid's stint on The X Factor) when it kind of descends into more blatant name-dropping.  Still, it serves as a reminder of how awesome R&B was in the early 1990s and I wanted to download ALL. THE. MUSIC after I finished.  Final Grade = B

Jane Steele by Lyndsay Faye - If other reviews are an indication, I'm the only person who has read this book in Romancelandia who didn't love it to bits.  Part of this is because compared to the author's Supreme-O Awesome-Sauce Timothy Wilde trilogy (which made my Best Of Lists for 2014 and 2015), this is a pale shadow.  The characters aren't as well drawn, their relationships nowhere near as complex and there's a Victorian Drama-Llama Melodramatic Romance in the second half that I was bored with before it even got off the ground.  What I did like?  The "stuff" between Jane and Rebecca Clarke - her bestest friend while they are both at an odious boarding school.  There's lots of "Jane Eyre" stuff here and Jane Steele tends to murder people who deserve it - but meh.  It's entirely possible that my extreme love of the previous trilogy factored into my dissatisfaction more than a little but...I'm sorry folks, I didn't love this.  Come back and talk to me after you've read the Timothy Wilde books.  Final Grade = D+

The Haunting of Maddy Clare by Simone St. James - St. James is an author I've been meaning to try forever and a recent foray into Barbara Michaels on audio had me on a Gothic kick.  Set after World War I, our office temp heroine takes a job as an assistant to a ghost hunter to investigate a haunting of a barn by a local servant girl who committed suicide.  This is a Gothic very heavy on the woo-woo, it's got great atmosphere, and very good characterization.  I was a little less enamored with the ghost hunting party's lack of urgency in solving the mystery behind Maddy Clare, the girl haunting the barn.  They seem more bent on protecting people that, quite frankly, deserve everything that Maddy's ghost wants to dish out to them.  Maddy wants her revenge for very, very compelling reasons (consider that your trigger warning).  Swoon, I love Gothics! I plan to download more St. James on audio as soon as the holds lists at work allow. Final Grade = B-

The Swans of Fifth Avenue by Melanie Benjamin - Tells the story of Truman Capote, the upper-crust New York society women whom he called "The Swans," and his friendship with Babe Paley (wife of William S. Paley - the founder of CBS). The story covers the timeline of Breakfast at Tiffany's, In Cold Blood, The Black and White Ball, Capote running off the rails and his ultimate break from "The Swans" with the publication of the story La Cote Basque 1965 in Esquire magazine, in which he aired everybody's dirty laundry.

This would have been a DNF had I tried to read it because it's very, very tell-y.  Long stretches with little dialogue and a lot of internal musing so the author can dump back-story on the reader.  Also, these are shallow, sad people and the the job of historical fiction is for the author to "breathe life" into these characters.  That doesn't happen here until the very bitter end, when the fallout of La Cote Basque 1965 comes into play.  Shopping, clothes, affairs everybody was having (sometimes with each other...) and by the end of it I was so bloody sick of hearing about Babe Paley's cheekbones I could just scream.  The ending is interesting because that's when all the glitz and shallow dazzle goes to hell.  Capote fully hits the skids and Babe finally (finally!) gets angry.

As a historical fiction novel it just didn't work for me because the writing didn't work for me.  I felt I would have been better served to just read non-fiction accounts of the era and I would have gotten the exact same story.  Also, I listened to this on audio which means both narrators (yes, there were two) affected Capote's voice.  I did like the glimpse into the bygone, opulent era of society prior to the Atomic Hippie Bomb of the 1960s going off, but that was about it.  Final Grade = C-

#TBRChallenge 2015: Everything and the Kitchen Sink

The Book: Impulse by JoAnn Ross

The Particulars: Romantic suspense, Pocket, 2006, In print

Why Was It In Wendy's TBR?: I honestly have no idea.  This isn't an autographed copy, so I don't think I picked it up at a conference, and the condition of the book is spectacular.  So I must have bought it new in a bookstore because the back cover blurb intrigued?  Your guess is as good as mine.

The Review: This book was a hot mess.  A readable hot mess, but a hot mess all the same.  As far as I can determine it's a stand-alone book, not connected in any way to any other books in the author's backlist.  And yet?  It's drowning in a sea of backstory and the author takes us out to dinner at The Trope Smorgasbord.

Once upon a time Will Bridger was working undercover vice in Savannah, Georgia.  Then he gets shot in a bust gone bad and loses his nerve.  It doesn't help that as he's lying in a hospital bed recovering from his gunshot wound he finds out his ex has died, leaving his teenage son motherless.  Oh, and he didn't know he had a teenage son.  Knowing he needs to make a change and knowing that he has an angry kid to now take care of, he moves back to his hometown of Hazard, Wyoming and is hired as the new Sheriff.

Faith Prescott has the late night radio show at the local station, and knew Will back in Savannah.  They had an affair while he was working a case that she was, unwittingly, wrapped up in.  Will makes his bust and their relationship hits the skids (because, like, duh).  She moves to Las Vegas, more stuff happens, she runs away to Hazard (Will said he was from there but he lied about everything else and it sounds like just the place to hide - so there you go) under an assumed identity.  Unfortunately her past seems to have found her in the form of a Las Vegas bounty hunter, and a pretty local teenager is found with her throat slashed out on a frozen lake.

So yeah, the backstory.  Good Lord there's a ton of it.  Faith's background alone is enough to make your head spin (sexually exploited child, teenage prostitute, unwittingly works for criminal, has affair with undercover cop, attracts stalker in Vegas, life falls apart in Vegas once stalker caught, goes to extreme lengths by running away, ends up in small town where serial killer sets up shop yada yada yada).  Then there's Will, the whole Savannah thing gone wrong, having his son dumped in his lap, his post-traumatic stress, his wild teenage years, his time in the military - and a partridge in a pear tree ::sing-song::.  Between all this baggage, none of which can possibly be explored with any depth in a 350 page novel, along with the suspense thread, and the fact that the author introduces us to several secondary characters - yeah, the "romance" here is totally Insta-Love.  Normally it would help that the characters have a shared history, but all of the backstory is "told" to the reader and I never got a good handle on who these characters were supposed to be.  They never felt real to me. 

Oh, and did I mention this entire story takes place in like 48 hours?  Yeah.

It's a lot of little things, like mini-bombs going off on the page.  Like the fact that Faith and Will's son Josh are supposedly "close."  But they spend zero time together on page until the end - so really, how "close" can they possibly be?  Also that Faith admits that while she knew the dead girl, and they talked, they never delved deeply into personal matters.  Then Faith sells Will on the fact that he needs her help looking for the killer because she knew things about the dead girl.  Really, like what?  You just said a few chapters ago that you didn't bear your souls to each other!

Then there's the writing.  It's lumpy.  There are moments when the author crams in current-at-the-time references that just felt jarring (the Torino Olympics, Janet Jackson's boob-snafu during the Super Bowl etc.) and asides that were just odd.  For instance, this is good:

Salvatore Sasone hated three things: Democrats, spaghetti sauce from a jar and cold weather.

 And this, is awful:

Given that his great-grandfather had immigrated to America from Sicily, obviously an appreciation of spaghetti (which had, by the way, been invented in his ancestral city of Catania) had been woven into his DNA with his black hair and dark eyes.

Oh for the love of Jeebus.  How was I expected to not laugh while reading that?

And there's things like that throughout the whole book, right down to an ending that puts the Capital R in Rushed.  Stuff starts flying out of left field in, what I'm guessing, was supposed to feel like a big, dramatic, and climactic ending.  Instead it was ::eyeroll:: seriously?

So why didn't I DNF this?  That's the million dollar question.  It was readable for me, despite it's numerous faults, it has short chapters, and having the print book meant it was super easy for me to skim (especially towards the end when any goodwill I had started to vanish).  Plus, I've pulled worse out of the depths of the TBR.  This isn't the worst thing I've ever read (not by a long shot), but there's also nothing here for me to recommend.  Although....I did keep reading it.  So I guess that's something.

Final Grade = D+

Mini-Reviews: You Don't Have To Be Lonely...

I know a number of readers don't care for them, but I happen to love novellas.  When they're done well, they're tasty bite-size morsels of satisfaction.  I also happen to be a sucker for continuity series.  Those multi-author series that sometimes (but not always) feature an overarching story arc.  NotMy1stRodeo.com is a continuity novella series from Samhain about an online dating site that caters to country folk who have already been around the block (they're widowed, divorced etc.)  There are currently three novellas in the series (no idea if there will be more?), and I zipped through two of them over the weekend.  As far as I could tell, the only thing holding them together as a series is the dating site concept.  No reoccurring characters or plot elements that I picked up on.

Nothing Like a Cowboy by Donna Alward starts out just fine, but once the conflict kicks into high gear it slid south for me.  Um, to the point where I was shaking my Kindle and calling the heroine not-so-nice names.  Out loud.  In other news, My Man now officially thinks I'm insane.

Brett Harrison was married to a woman who thought being a rancher's wife would be more glamorous than the reality turned out to be.  Baggage he has it.  His twin sister is sick of seeing him mope around, so she signs him up for a dating site and sets a coffee date with Melissa "Melly" Walker, also a divorcee.  Melly was dazzled by her ex, who turned out to be a liar - so baggage, she has it.  Brett agrees to keep the date, mostly because his sister's deception isn't Melly's fault and he comes clean the moment they meet at the coffee shop.  They like each other, they share a smoldering kiss.  A future date leads to them hitting the sheets and that's when all hell breaks loose.  Conflict turns up in the form of an Amazing Coincidence.  The problem being that Melly doesn't think it's an Amazing Coincidence so much as a Big Secret.  Given that she has trust issues already?  Yeah, she freaks out.

This starts out as a very nice read.  It's kind of fun to read about an awkward first date (essentially a blind date) in a romance novel where we're often subject to suave heroes who ooze charm and charisma.  What didn't work for me had everything do with the conflict in the second half of the story.  I get that Melly is upset.  I get that she has baggage.  But her reaction and her subsequent treatment of Brett struck me as extreme.  As in, pull yourself together you stupid, selfish b*tch extreme.  Yes, the groundwork of her trust issues is laid well before, but ugh - I intensely began disliking her and no amount of Her Ex Done Her Wrong could wash the bad taste out of my mouth.  Frankly I could not for the life of me understand why Brett was so patient with her.  I'm sorry, no sex is that good, no matter how long of a drought you've had.  Alward has written better and if you're curious to try her work, I recommend following this tag for recommendations.

Final Grade = D

Disclaimer: Anderson and I presented a workshop together at RWA 2014.

 Something About a Cowboy by Sarah M. Anderson is a surprisingly tender and OMG HOTT! story.  If I wasn't sitting in front of a fan, I was wiping away tears.  It's a real winner.

Six years ago Mack Turner's wife died of cancer.  They were high school sweethearts, got married young, had babies young, and now his three sons are grown and worried about Dad.  He's 46 and alone on his ranch.  Winters get mighty lonely.  It's his youngest son who sets him up with a profile on the dating web site and gives Karen Thompson his Dad's number.  They talk and agree to meet in Billings (a three hour drive for Mack) for dinner and possibly more.

Karen is divorced and her self-esteem is in the toilet.  Her ex was totally incapable of being faithful and Karen just wants to feel desired by a man again.  She's not looking for love.  She's not looking for marriage.  Which is good because neither is Mack.  What she wants is for a man to look at her with passion in his eyes - and when Mack gets a load of her in a slinky red dress?  Yeah, wish granted!

The complaint I think some readers may have about this story is that it's very steamy and that it's short.  It's borderline erotic romance as far as content goes.  There's some "getting to know you" stuff to the romance, but honestly that's not why these two characters hook up initially.  They're there to get back, figuratively, into the saddle.  Naturally when the cold light of morning dawns, Mack finds himself confronted with his past, and needless to say he doesn't handle it well.  It's the resolution to his baggage, the emotional heft of it, that made this short novella such a winner for me.  A picture perfect afternoon read.

Final Grade = A

On a final note, I think it's worth mentioning how well I thought both authors handled the happy endings in these stories.  Again, they're short novellas and I loved that neither one tried to do too much with them.  They're basically happy-for-now, but the reader is left with the solid impression that both couples are together, in a relationship, and will, probably, down the road, make the whole thing official.  Praise the saints that neither of them crammed in a marriage proposal or pregnant with twins epilogue.

Note: The third book in the continuity series is Anything for a Cowboy by Jenna Bayley Burke (sorry haven't read, no review).  You can purchase the stories separately, or in a 3-for-1 edition.

Don't Deny Me A Headache

I have been known to love me some Megan Hart.  I'm perpetually behind on her backlist - but, if memory serves, I've given her three A grades, a handful of B's, and a bumpy C.  So there's a history of Good Stuff Wendy Likes.  Don't Deny Me was originally published as a three-part serial, which is how I read it, but you can now buy the entire story in one volume (the links I've included in this post).

The first installment starts out with a lot of promise and it landed firmly in my B range.  Alice is friends with a married couple who are having a house party weekend to celebrate their anniversary. She attends, even knowing that Mick will be there.  Mick is also friends with the married couple and he and Alice had a relationship ten years ago.  It was pretty hot and heavy until....it wasn't.  Stuff happened.  They broke up.  Neither of them has gotten over the other one - even though we're talking ten years.  For those of you of a certain age, the first part of this novel has a decidedly Big Chill vibe to it.  For those of you who don't know what that last sentence means?  Let's move on....

Things slide downhill fast for me with the second installment.  Instead of picking up where the first installment left off (which had a decent "too be continued...." cliffhanger I might add), we are thrust back in time, 10 years in the past, to When Mick Met Alice.  Let me tell you how jarring this was.  I literally had to double-check to make sure I hadn't mistakenly read the second installment first and the first installment second (got that?).  Plus a lot of it felt like an unnecessary rehash as quite a bit of this When Mick Met Alice "stuff" was reminisced about in the first installment.  Yawn.  Eventually we learn what tore the two love birds apart and let me tell you how incredibly weak sauce it was.  Super weak.  Basically Mick and Alice can't talk to each other.  Alice gets annoyed with Mick for not dropping his whole life and returning her calls RIGHT THEN AND THERE, something major happens, she gets pissy, they break up.  Here's an idea kids - let's try talking to each other?  So yeah, somewhere in my D range.  But now I need to read the third installment, because it's the last one and I'm stuck in the mud now.

The third installment is all about Mick and Alice trying to make a go of it again after reconnecting at that house party from installment #1 (remember that?).  Stuff happens.  Mick is trying to do better.  But they still can't freakin' communicate with each other.  Alice wants stuff from Mick, but instead of telling him outright WHAT that is, she tap-dances around it and gets pissy that he doesn't read her mind.  Mick, instead of TELLING Alice how he feels, tap-dances around it by trying to "show" her and gets pissy when she doesn't read his mind.

So basically it's a romance about two people who can't talk to each other.

I'm pretty sure I've heard this story before.  From my pissed off girlfriends during happy hour.  But at least then I had fried cheese sticks and alcohol to mask my annoyance.  No fried cheese, and woe is Wendy no alcohol (having read these installments on lunch breaks at work).  Is all of this "true to life?"  Certainly.  The "conflict" that exists between Mick and Alice happens all the bloody time.  Doesn't mean I want to read about it though.  I barely tolerate it when I have to hear about it from my girlfriends - and hello?  Those are my friends (although maybe not anymore if any of them read this review.....).  But you get the idea.

Final Grade = D

TBR Challenge 2015: Sins of a Wicked Princess

The Book: Sins of a Wicked Princess by Anna Randol

The Particulars: Historical romance, Avon, 2013, Third book in a trilogy, In Print

Why Was It In Wendy's TBR?:  I immensely enjoyed the first book in this trilogy, and got my hands on the next two books.  Plus, neither here nor there, this author is local for yours truly.

The Review:  As stated above, I really enjoyed the first book in this trilogy - it being a huge pleasant surprise what with 1) being by an unknown to me author 2) saddled with an insipid title and 3) equally insipid back cover blurb.  But close to full out love it I did so I read the second book - which despite being RITA nominated I found completely forgettable.  So forgettable in fact that all I could recall prior to rereading my review was that part of the story takes place in Russia.  Naturally my ardor cooled somewhat and languish this third and final book did - until now.

Warning: Thar Be Spoilers Ahoy!

Ian Maddox AKA Wraith was saved from the gallows and turned spy for the Crown.  Napoleon now vanquished, he and his two comrades have been sacked without much more than a by-your-leave.  The fly in the ointment?  While The Trio is now out of business, they've ticked off enough people that someone is trying to kill them.  But who?  The list of potential assassins is long.  Ian thinks Princess Juliana of Lenoria may be the culprit.  What with her living in exile, her parents murdered and The Trio being the ones responsible.

Of course it's not Juliana.  She's too busy trying to figure out how to 1) protect her people and 2) regain her kingdom.  No the real culprit is a criminal mastermind with his sticky fingers in a lot of pies who has managed, quite easily since the boy is a moron, to outwit her younger brother.  So now Juliana has to join forces with Ian to thwart the bad guy, save her idiot brother and save her kingdom.

Much like the last book the main issue I had was with the thin characterizations.  It takes a while for Juliana and Ian to get off the ground, so to speak, but eventually they do...somewhat.  However that never quite gels into romance for me.  I never quite could decipher the road map of how they go from bantering to falling in love - it just sort of happens.  The puzzle pieces are there, but it's like half of them have gone missing from the box.

What this leads to a pleasant, albeit forgettable read.  The secondary characters add some color (two of the servants, especially) and the dialogue is fun.  It's quick, breezy, the kind of light historical romance that Avon has built it's brand around for the last several years.  Nothing outright offensive, but nothing that makes it stand out either.

And then we get to the big reveal and it all slides way far south.  Like I said, The Trio is essentially responsible for Lenoria falling.  They were following orders.  Juliana's parents were going to throw their lot in with the French.  They had to go.  And while they didn't murder her parents directly?  They riled things up to the point of a coup and in the fervor her parents were murdered.  Juliana witnessing their deaths with her own adolescent eyes.

Got that?  Ian, while he did not pull the trigger, was responsible for events that led her parents being murdered.  And yet?  Juliana is remarkably OK with this.  There are no tears.  There is no wailing or hurled accusations.  There is no pulling a knife on the man and gutting him like a fish.  No.  He was "following orders."  Mumsy and Dada are cold in the ground but hey, it's OK.  Ian was just following orders!  What's to forgive?

I don't know.  Call me crazy.  Yes, hunky handsome spies for the Crown are all well and good.  Yes, I'm sure they kiss divinely.  But if I found out that the man I was making googly eyes at played a part in my parents' murder?  I'm going to go out on a limb and say that my ardent feelings would cool considerably.

But hey, maybe I'm just wacky.

It just doesn't work for me.  At all.  I could fly with the final chapters that take on a bit of a rushed mad-cap feel.  I could even fly with the fact that Ian makes some pretty incompetent decisions even though he's supposed to be a "master spy."  What I couldn't fly with was the fact that Juliana could just let the fact that Ian was responsible for the death of her beloved parents go.  Dude.  If she was living in the 21st century she'd probably write love letters to guys on death row. Seriously.

So yeah.  This was disappointing.  Loved the first book (about the female spy) and really did not care for the final two books (about male spies).  Which, once again, kind of showcases the fact that I'm an unrepentant heroine-centric reader.  The heroine spy?  I wanted to have babies with.  And her two male partners?  Meh.  So long fellas!

Final Grade = D+

TBR Challenge 2014: She Walks The Line

The Book: She Walks the Line by Roz Denny Fox

The Particulars: Contemporary romance, Harlequin SuperRomance #1254, 2005, Out of print, Available digitally, Book 5 in 6-part continuity series.

Why Was It In Wendy's TBR?:  Chinese heroine and it's a SuperRomance.  That was all it took.

The Review: Books like this one always depress me.  The sort of book where you can see in between the lines that it could have been a very good story if not for this, that and the other.  There are the seeds of a good story here.  Truly.  Unfortunately it's buried and lost under a mountain of other "stuff" that doesn't work at all.

For one thing, I must have been so excited about a Chinese heroine back in the mid-2000s that I was asleep at the wheel and didn't realize this was part of a 6-author continuity series.  Now I've enjoyed some of Harlequin's continuity stories in the past, and they can stand alone.  Unfortunately this one does not.  The plot never lost me.  No, it was the inclusion of a bunch of characters whose sole purpose was to be window-dressing for the "series stuff."  These characters are there because the continuity dictates it (the series follows six women who go through the police academy together and are trying to crack the Old Boys Club), but none of them serve any purpose to the story at hand.  They're filler.  They're taking up space.  Get them off the page already.

Anyway, that rant out of the way, the story follows Mei Lu Ling who investigates white collar crime for the Houston PD.  Her father is Chinese-American and runs an import business.  For a time Mei worked at the family's Hong Kong office before she decided to join the academy, disappointing her father and horrifying her mother (who immigrated from China).  Why did Mei chuck family duty behind?  What drove her to join the force?  I'm not really sure.  It's never really addressed here other than she wanted to be her own woman - but why police work and not, say, a chef, librarian, teacher, advertising exec....well you get the idea.

She's paired up with Cullen Archer who is an insurance investigator on the hunt for some stolen Chinese artifacts that are rumored to be in Houston, of all places.  And these are serious artifacts - the kind of stuff that belongs in a museum.  There are two dead couriers and notes written in Chinese that he needs translated - enter Mei, who has been assigned to work with Cullen.

So this sounds like it could be good right?  Chinese heroine straddling old and new worlds, who hungers for her own life, chaffing against her parents' ideals.  Then you have the mystery of the missing artifacts while her father works in the import business and she's paired up with Cullen, a white dude, that her parents would most definitely not approve of.  So why exactly was this so boring?  A slog to get through?  The kind of book where I was skimming big ol' chunks.

For one thing, the author spends way too much time on "other stuff" from the continuity - and delaying Cullen and Mei from getting on page together.  Then there's the minor detail that Cullen has twins (a boy and a girl) who are visiting him while his party girl ex is off globe-trotting.  I read a lot of category - so I'm obviously fine with kids in romances.  Really.  But these twins were totally pointless.  A time suck.  Annoying.  And they served no great purpose to the story other than to annoy me at great lengths.  They're the sort of tots that come barging into Daddy's home office while he's meeting with Mei.  You know, those ideal moments when the author should be laying out some actual ground-work to the suspense.  When our couple should be spending time together discussing the case.  Instead you get the plot moppets barging in, the daughter whining about something or other and the son glowering because there's a vagina in Dad's office.

I never thought I'd say this - but this needed to be a lot shorter.  Oh, like say, a Harlequin Intrigue.  Strip away the plot moppets, dump the secondary characters that have NOTHING to do with this story, and just get heroine, hero, suspense, on page together.  Period.

All this being said, I was willing to concede that a lot of this (OK all of it) is personal preference on my part.  A sure sign of a C read for Wendy.  Then I got the ending.  The big reveal.

The word preposterous comes to mind.  Also the phrase "out of left field."  I think I might have actually said, "you've got to be kidding me?" out loud.  And there definitely was eye-rolling involved.  It just flat-out didn't work for me.  The irony being that it probably could have worked had the author spent more time developing the suspense (instead of saturating the word count with plot moppets and secondary characters walking through the story).  As is however, it was liking blaming the whole thing on Big Foot or the Loch Ness Monster.  Disappointing to say the least.  A Chinese heroine in a category romance deserved better.

Final Grade = D

Retro Review: A Hitch in Time by Christine Holden

This review of A Hitch in Time by Christine Holden was first published at The Romance Reader in 2000.  I rated it 2-Hearts (D range) with a MPAA content rating of "PG-13."

+++++

Drew Montague has been given an ultimatum by his control freak of a father. Drew has been struggling with law school while trying to support his young daughter through his inheritance. Even though his mother is sympathetic and doting, his father has decided it’s time for Drew to grow up. So, he informs Drew that either he quit law school and learn the ropes on the family’s sugar plantation or lose his inheritance.

Drew is conflicted to say the least. While he has big dreams of becoming a lawyer, he has the welfare of his daughter, Teal, to think about. He’s still turning the idea over in his head, when he walks Teal’s babysitter to the bus stop. While returning home through the streets of New Orleans, he comes across a gold pocket watch hanging from a hitching post. Recalling a nursery rhyme his own nanny used to recite to him, Drew picks up the watch, only to be transported back to New Orleans, 1853!

Marianne Beaufort is a stunning beauty on her way to attend a party at the glittering St. Louis hotel. At this party, she will be announcing her engagement to Rafe Montague, a man she is none to fond of. However, when her father succumbed to yellow fever the year before, it was up to Marianne to secure her family’s survival when Rafe chose her for his bride over her older sister, Genevieve. She had resigned herself to her fate, when she stumbles upon a stranger in odd clothing outside the hotel.

Drew is confused about what has happened to him, and determined to find a way out of his predicament and back to his daughter. But he finds his thoughts wandering when he sets eyes on the stunning Marianne. Both are immediately drawn to each other, but how can they give into their growing feelings when Drew must find a way to get home, and Marianne is betrothed? Not only that, but how can Drew fall in love with the woman who is set to marry his great-great grandfather?

I really wanted to like this book. For one thing, it’s been ages since I’ve read a time travel where the hero is the one to go back in time. Unfortunately, my opinion of Drew was soured very early on in the story and colored the rest of the novel for me.

I initially thought Drew was managing just to scrape by with his finances. His mother had been giving him some money, while he’s going to school and supporting a daughter. It’s when Drew returns home and eats a meal of steak and potatoes with Teal’s babysitter that the word “spoiled” jumped in my mind and stayed there for the duration of the story.

Then there is Drew’s fondness for the ladies. He was married to Teal’s mother, who conveniently leaves her family when she realizes that motherhood isn’t for her. Right before he travels back in time, he makes a pass at Teal’s babysitter. Then once he lands in 1853, he immediately begins fantasizing about Marianne. Personally, I like my romantic heroes to pick one woman and stick with them for the entire duration of the novel.

I wasn’t as displeased with Marianne, but I didn’t exactly find anything memorable about her either. Forced to marry Rafe to support her snobby family, I had a hard time picturing her in the 1850s. Her attitudes are ahead of her time, which made the resolution of the time travel element predictable.
Also annoying was the speed in which Drew realizes he has traveled through time. The very same chapter when he wakes up outside the hotel and encounters Marianne he makes the conclusion he’s in 1853. Not only that he puts that date together with a Yellow Fever epidemic that killed thousands in the city that year. A little disbelief on his part would have been nice.

This led me to believe that Drew is a history buff, but then when he consummates his relationship with Marianne, he is stunned to realize that she is a virgin. The passion must have scrambled his brain, since after all, Marianne is a society miss engaged to be married to a member of a powerful family. The odds of her not being a virgin are a considerable long shot.

A Hitch In Time does have some neat ideas, most notably Rafe’s relation to Drew. Also, Holden does a nice job of including historical details about New Orleans, including the devastating Yellow Fever epidemic of 1853. And while the story and the characters do get more intriguing as the story unfolds, it just wasn’t enough for me to overlook my first impressions. Holden’s latest should appeal to time travel fans, but just didn’t do it for this reader.

+++++

Wendy Looks Back: I remember this being a slog of a read for me.  Disappointing since, rereading my review, there were some really great elements to the story (Yellow Fever epidemic, a heroine set to marry hero's great-great grandfather, a hero who travels back in time!).  Holden was a mother-daughter writing duo.  They wrote five books together, the last one appearing in 2001.

Remembering That Night

Stephanie Doyle is an author that I've been meaning to try for a while, so when Remembering That Night came up on Netgalley I decided to give it a whirl.  Plus, I'll be honest, the amnesia angle hooked me.  I know this is a plot device that's a no-go for a lot of readers, but I'm always intrigued to see how an author is going to tackle it, and if they can pull it off.  And after reading this?  The amnesia angle is the only good thing this story has going for it.

Psychologist Greg Chalmers is a human lie detector.  He's very skilled at reading people.  That is until he tragically missed the signs with one patient and then copes by spiraling down the rabbit hole of gambling addiction.  He now works for the Tyler Group (series alert!) which is sort of a catch-all, PI, fix-it firm that I'm convinced only really exists in Romancelandia.  Anyhoodle, he gets called in because a woman is found wandering down the side of a deserted New Jersey road, with no ID and covered in blood that isn't hers.  Oh, and just for kicks - she's claiming she doesn't remember a thing.  Not even her name.  So Greg comes in to see if he can read her.

We all know where this is going, right?  Jane Doe turns out to be Eliza "Liza" Dunning and Greg, with his white knight complex, is determined to help her.  That gets tricky though when they find the dead body that supplied all the blood found on Liza's person.  A dead body who just happens to run a casino in Atlantic City and has alleged ties to organized crime.

Before I go into Ranty McRant Pants Mode, let me mention that this story did have some good elements to it.  The amnesia angle, always a tough sell, is handled well here.  Liza's amnesia is the result of witnessing a traumatic event, presumably the murder and poof!  She's a blank slate.  She also regains her memory in bits, often times with no rhyme or reason.  For example, she remembers the first boy she ever kissed before she remembers a coworker.  This makes for a very interesting suspense thread, which is honestly the only reason I managed to finish this book.  I had to find out who killed the casino boss!

So where did it all go wrong?  Well, with everything else.  I actively disliked everything else about this book, right down to our romantic couple.  For those of you who watch The Mentalist (or have even seen part of one episode), Greg is like the Simon Baker character.  That is to say smart, handsome and a total prick.  If you don't think the Simon Baker character on the TV show is a self-congratulatory wind-bag, then you'll probably like Greg.  I loathed him from the moment he falls from grace, right up until the bitter end when he morphs from prick to white knight who thinks he knows what's best for everybody.

Liza, sadly, does not pick up the slack.  She pretty much spends the whole book bemoaning the fact that everybody wants to protect and shelter her.  She's a big girl!  She's a grown-up!  She can take care of herself!  When the truth is?  No.  No you can't cupcake.  Because this is the second time she's lost her memory.  Granted the other time was when she was a child and witnessed a horrific, life-altering event, but how can I not think of her as a victim when she's never allowed to stand up for herself, by herself.  Greg is always there acting as a crutch.  She can say she's not a victim all she wants - doesn't mean I have to believe her, which I didn't.  Then I started wondering, what if she burns Greg's toast making morning-after breakfast?  Will she lose her memory for a third time?!

Now some of you are probably reading this and thinking I'm being too hard on the characters.  It's a Rescue Fantasy Wendy!  It's a Heroine In Peril story Wendy!  You're taking this way too seriously Wendy.  And you know, what?  I was ready to chalk this up as a C read, not for me, I don't like these people but you might sort of read.  And then it happened.  Yes, ladies and gents - I got to the sex scenes.  Brace yourselves:

"Greg, please...I need you.  Please!"

"I don't have a condom."

"I don't care.  God, Greg. Now!"

Screw it.  He plunged into her and groaned at how tight she was, almost resistant, but then she was there with him, surrounding him, taking all of him inside her, deep to his balls.  He would pull out when he came.

That was what his lust-addled brain told him.  He would pull out and the chances of her getting pregnant would be slim.  For now they both needed this connection badly.

I JUST CAN'T EVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, because Lord knows the connection you share with a woman who still hasn't regained her memory is much more important than putting a stop to these shenanigans.  Because "pulling out" is such a reliable form for birth control!  Because, you know, pregnancy is your only concern here.  Never mind she could have a scorching case of herpes you moron.

But wait, it gets better.  Greg fails to pull-out in time, because honestly, OF COURSE HE DOES!

She giggled against his chest.  Giggled.  Then she kissed his neck.  "I had birth control pills in my purse.  I might have missed a few days, but I've been taking them since.  We should be OK."

I JUST CAN'T EVEN WITH THESE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The only thing keeping me from chucking this book out a 10-story window into blinding traffic on the street below so it could get run over by a convoy of semi-trucks is the fact that I was reading this on my Kindle.

Blind, hot, rage.  Angry.  So very, very angry.

If you could get through those snippets without 1) losing your lunch or 2) wanting to beat your head against your desk until you lose consciousness, then maybe.  Otherwise?  I just can't even.

Final Grade = D-

Digital Review: Stupid Cupid

One should always be open to trying new things.  Whether that be food, a new hobby, or, when it comes to reading, new authors.  Sometimes taking a step outside brings about delightful consequences, and other times?  You drink the noxious potion that the Mad Hatter offers and you end up with the mother of all headaches.  I'm sad to report that it's the latter I felt upon finally finishing the Valentine's Day anthology, Confessions of a Secret Admirer. 

Waiting For You by Jennifer Ryan headlines the whole affair and gets things off to a rocky start.  Taylor Larson has come home to Fallbrook, having inherited her grandmother's falling down ranch.  She runs into her old boyfriend, Seth Devane, now a married man, in town.  It's a hi-how-are-you-doing sort of exchange and in barges Seth's older brother Grant who essentially escorts Taylor to her car warning her to stay away from Seth, whose marriage is a little bumpy at the moment.  Taylor is pretty pissed about this, given that her and Seth are "just friends" and it's really Grant who she has always had a thing for.  Grant eventually realizes he's a jackass, and goes about woo'ing her until we get to our happy ending.

Ever read a story and feel like you should already know who all the players are?  That's how this one read.  Like the author dunked me in the middle of a Giant Series Ocean and "assumed" I already knew what was going on.  So I went investigating and turns out this is actually a prequel novella, with the first book in the McBride series coming out until March!  Dude, nobody has any knowledge of this series yet, and already with the first novella I'm flummoxed by this feeling like I'm supposed to know what the hell is going on before the story even starts.  It left me not giving a damn who these people were, what was going to happen to them, and why am I bothering with this story again?  None of it worked for me.

Grade = D

Sweet Fortune by Candis Terry finds our heroine, Sarah Randall, moving to Sweet, Texas after her career washes out in Los Angeles.  Tired of being overlooked, she decides to play secret admirer to hunky town cop, Brady Bennett.  Armed with advice from her well-meaning friends, and a few well-placed anonymous gifts for Brady to find, she starts putting on the full court press.

Terry has an easy, breezy writing style that is quite charming and for readers who cannot get enough of the whole small-town-Texas-thing, this is a series that may be worth investigating.  This novella is smack-dab in the middle of a series, but it was like night-and-day compared to the Ryan story.  I had no problems keeping up, but.....the more I think about it, the more I am increasingly annoyed how every other woman in this story who wasn't 1) the heroine or 2) a former heroine was portrayed.  We have 1) the overly aggressive real estate agent who is about as subtle as a 13-year-old who bathed in Axe body spray 2) the aggressive town dominatrix who the hero thinks is the one leaving him gifts and 3) the single Mom the hero sees at the local bar, and gee he might want to stop by sometime soon just to make sure her kids are being well taken care of.

Here's a thought asshole - MAYBE SHE GOT A GODDAMN BABYSITTER!!!

Ugh.  I did like the writing style, but other than that?  Well, there is a moment when the town dominatrix tells the hero to "get over himself."  Which just goes to show that 1) all Texas small towns need a dominatrix and 2) we need more dominatrix romance heroines.

Side note: This story opens with the heroine enjoying a "crisp" autumn day in L.A.  Authors, we don't "do" autumn in SoCal.  You know what September and October are like here?  Try 100+ degrees in the shade.  Oh, and usually half the state is burning down.  Hey, that's it!  Maybe the author meant "crisp" as in "everything is burning to a...."

Grade = C-

Major League Crush by Jennifer Seasons is the best story of the lot, assuming you can get past the dialogue.  The heroine is a nerdy girl and creator of a very popular comic strip.  Her comic alter ego is obsessed with a baseball player who lives across the hall from her.  You guessed it, our heroine, Roberta "Bertie" Cogswell, lives across the hall from a baseball player who she has been secretly crushing on for years.  Until one morning she runs into Drake Paulson in the hallway and they decide to attend a Valentine's Day party another tenant in the building is hosting.

This was another story where I really enjoyed the writing style.  Bertie is funny and charming, in an awkward sort of way.  The problem here is the hero, who has the deductive reasoning skills of a rock.  Then there's the fact that he talks like no man under the age of 85.  He actually calls Bertie "girlie."  Seriously, "girlie."  Oh, and my personal favorite, "little mouse."

Just shoot me now.

85-year-old men who pull their pants up to their chins and make annoying sucking noises because their dentures don't fit right say "girlie."  Not hunky baseball player romance heroes.

But there's a bright side.  Once the painfully obvious dawns on Drake, he goes about woo'ing Bertie in a very sweet fashion.

Grade = C+

So what I am left with is an anthology that breaks the norm for me.  It's usually one dreadful story, one OK story, and one story I really, really liked.  Here it's: didn't like at all, would have been OK if my inner feminist wasn't so offended and OK if you can tolerate a hero who talks like my long-dead grandfather.  Sometimes trying something new ain't for sissies.

Overall Grade = D+

Broken Promises for the Baby

Note: I know the author.  She was RWA's Librarian of the Year 2010, and I received the honor in 2011.  We are professional colleagues, and we presented together at Librarians Day at RWA Atlanta in 2013.  This is her third published novel and the third one I've read/reviewed.  I really liked the first two books in this trilogy, the second likely to end up as part of my "Best Of" for 2013.  All this to preface saying I hope she'll still speak to me if she sees this review....

A Promise for the Baby is the third book in Jennifer Lohmann's trilogy about three siblings.  The Milek kids grew up in a Polish-American enclave in Chicago, and what has been great fun about this series is how Lohmann has infused a lot of "small town" sensibilities in these books by setting her stories in a "neighborhood" of a "big city."  The culture, the sights, the sounds, the food!  It makes for such a really great concept.  That being said, I felt the strength of Lohmann's first two books were really her dynamite heroines.  Her heroes?  Were OK blokes, but not as strongly drawn (in my opinion).  So how would I like this last book featuring brother Karl Milek?  Turns out I was fine with him.  Oh the irony that I spent the entire novel feeling stabby towards the heroine.

From the time he was sixteen, Karl Milek has been tied to his clear sense of duty, justice and right vs. wrong.  His older brother, father and uncle were all killed by a drunk driver.  The driver had a history of DUIs, but he stayed on the payroll at his trucking company because somebody bribed a city official to overlook those transgressions.  Needless to say Karl grew up to become a lawyer and now works as the Inspector General for Chicago.  Basically it's Karl's job to ferret out corruption, which I mean - in Chicago?  Karl is a busy guy.  He's all work and no play, with one failed marriage already under his belt.  So naturally his well-meaning, meddling secretary practically pushes him out the door to a conference in Las Vegas, where, when he's confronted by his past, Karl gets rip-roaring drunk in the hotel bar one night.  He meets Vivien Yap in that bar, they get rip-roaring drunk together, get married, and oopsie, guess what?  Vivien shows up in Chicago a few weeks later to tell Karl she's pregnant.

Vivien comes to Chicago not only to tell Karl about the baby, but also because she's out of options.  She's been fired from her casino job and Dear Old Dad has cleaned out her bank account and anything remotely of value from her apartment.  Basically Vivien drives across country and arrives on Karl's doorstep in a car running on gas fumes and $10 in her pocket.  She's broker than broke.  She may not know Karl all that well, but she knows enough to know he's a "fixer."  She also knows that he won't kick her out on the streets - and our girl needs a place to live, time to find a job, and health insurance for her and the baby.

This story started out a little slow for me, mostly because it takes a while for the author to really delve into the characters.  For the first several chapters I felt like I was reading about people I had no firm handle on.  I knew Karl a little from the previous books, but since he's a stiff upper lip sort, he's not exactly forthcoming about, well, anything.  And Vivien is a completely new arrival into this trilogy's universe.

But the character development gains some traction once Vivien's Big Secret is revealed.  OK, this is good.  I finally have a nice handle on the characters and am learning more about them as people.  The problem is the more I learn, the more I loathe Vivien.  The Big Secret involves her father and why she got fired from her casino job in Vegas.  It's a doozy.  And naturally Karl finds out the truth via a third party and he is none too pleased.  I don't blame Karl one bit for being angry, especially 1) given his job and 2) having a deeply ingrained sense of duty.  Is Karl uptight and have a stick shoved up his ass?  Yes.  However this doesn't make him wrong.  And Vivien getting irritated with him when she's the one so clearly in the wrong is just annoying as all get out.  The worst of it is that Karl then spends the rest of the story having to 1) work through his issues and 2) gets treated like a villain even though his wife and her idiot father are the screw-ups.

That's the real problem - Vivien's Dear Old Dad, who is piss-poor con man.  Vivien has spent her entire childhood constantly moving around because Daddy needs to clear out when his schemes blow up in his face.  This is a guy who blew through her college fund, but it's OK because she's such a resourceful girl and she'll find some other way to pay for school.  This is a guy who robs his own daughter blind and skips out of Vegas - leaving her with nothing.  No job (thanks to him), no hope of ever finding another job in Vegas, no money, and nothing left for her to even pawn/sell.  Yet this asshole is still in her life because he was a single father and "did the best he could" and it's wasn't "all bad," Vivien has some "good memories."  And naturally Daddy comes sniffing around her again as soon as he needs something from her - ie. money.  And well she just can't say no to him!  And golly gee, he deserves the chance to know his grandchild!

Where is a shotgun when you need one?

Maybe I'm cold-hearted but if my father did half the stuff Vivien's Dad did to her?  It would go like this:

Dear Dad.  Leave me alone.  Stop contacting me.  I've filed a police report about the money and personal possessions you stole from me.  There's now a warrant out for your arrest, so I'd lay low if I were you.  Oh, and here's a restraining order.  Go to hell.  Sincerely, Me.

But Vivien can't do this because, well, she's a romance heroine.  Dear Old Dad basically gets to keep on doing what he's always done.  Karl sort of deals with the problem at the end by throwing money at him.  Because it will make Vivien happy to have her father stay in her life and get to know their baby (!!!!).

I WOULD NOT WANT THIS LEECH ANYWHERE NEAR ME LET ALONE MY INNOCENT CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So the lesson here is that Karl is the "bad guy" for being a judgmental prick (which he is, but it doesn't necessarily make him wrong).  Vivien's Dad gets a big check and the opportunity to keep having a relationship (and I use the term loosely since relationship to this man = what can you do for me) with his daughter and his future grandchild.  

This book technically ends happily, but all I can think about is the other shoe waiting to drop.  Oh sure, Karl can tie it all up in a bow, giving his father-in-law stipulations, but once a blood-sucking leech, always a blood-sucking leech.  And Vivien shows that while she can say "no" to him, she doesn't have the balls to cut this toxic asshole out of her life completely and forever.  Because, you know, the baby.  And he was a "good father" who "did the best he could."  Oh really?  Before or after he stole your college fund and then robbed you blind as an adult?

Yes, it would be a cryin' shame if that baby didn't get to know this asshole.  Boo-frickin'-hoo.

Seriously, it left me so very irritated.  I didn't see Karl as a bad guy no matter how unreasonable Vivien thought he was being.  You know why he doesn't trust you cupcake?  Look at your bloody track record.  I wouldn't trust you as far as I can throw a rock.

And I throw like a girl. 

Final Grade = D

Digital Review: Those Wacky Highlanders

Readers often talk about how digital has changed the way they read.  For me?  The only noticeable difference I see is the way I read short stories and novellas.  I've always enjoyed anthologies - being a quick, easy, and cost effective way to try multiple authors in one scoop.  But with digital?  It's just easier to read (and buy!) one short story or one novella by one author.  What Harlequin has done with Highlanders is give readers the traditional anthology format in digital by spotlighting three of their authors currently working in Scottish settings.

The Warrior And The Rose by Brenda Joyce is a story that I suspect will please her fans, but me?  Yeah, not so much.

Lady Juliana MacDougall is going to her family's chapel to pray for her brother's safe return (he's off fighting against Robert Bruce).  She thought she was far away from the war, until the war shows up to murder her bishop and burn down her chapel.  Alasdair Og came to exact vengeance after he discovers that Juliana's brother sent the bishop to spy on them.  Sworn enemies, that doesn't stop from Alasdair from admiring Juliana's spirited nature or from Juliana from noticing the hot and hunky highlander.

This is an I Hate You, I Hate You, We Are Sworn Enemies, Let's Have Sex, Now I Lurve You books.  Honestly, it's a story that probably could have worked in a full-length novel, where the author would have had more time to really develop the emotional complexities a relationship like this would entail.  But here?  It's rushed.  And sadly the sex is written in a vague sort of way, so you can't really chalk up the hate one minute, love the next stuff to some sizzling bedroom play.  If you're a fan of the author, or a big Scottish history nut (Juliana and Alasdair were apparently a real life couple) - then this maybe worth a whirl.  For me?  It was pretty unsatisfying.

Grade = D

The Forbidden Highlander by Terri Brisbin didn't light my world on fire, but it gets better the further along you read and the author does well with the short format.

James Murray is in love with Elizabeth MacLerie.  The fly in the ointment?  It's been arranged for James to marry Elizabeth's BFF.  So he convinces Elizabeth to run away with him, to find an old priest in a nearby area, so they can elope.  Sure, people will be pissed, but by then the deed will be done.  Except bad weather stalls their travel long enough for Elizabeth's disgruntled brother (who thinks his sister has been kidnapped) to give chase.

Part of this story reminded me of Romeo and Juliet in respect that James and Elizabeth strike me as dumb kids.  But the further the story rolls along, plus the introduction of Elizabeth's Big Secret spices things up a bit.  I liked that Elizabeth's past does effect James and he does react to it, and I also liked that he comes around ("Gee, I was kind of an asshat to her....") on his own and a third party doesn't need to point out the error of his ways.  It wasn't a super-spectacular read for me, but it was enjoyable.

Grade = B-

Rescued By The Highland Warrior by Michelle Willingham has a pretty unsavory premise, but I ended up loving the journey the author took me on.

Celeste de Laurent's husband is dead and having provided no heir (let alone a spare!), her brother-in-law and wife are set to inherit big.  But Wifey isn't willing to chance it.  I mean, Celeste could still be pregnant and just not know it yet.  So when she's not trying to poison her with herbs to make her miscarry, she's openly threatening her.  Celeste's entire life has been built on protecting and providing for herself and her younger sister.  She knows she's not preggers and she's so scared of going back to desolate poverty that she concocts a scheme to get pregnant by....oh anyone will do.  But she decides to find Dougal MacKinloch, the guy she tossed over to marry her dead husband.  Why?  Because while she was madly in love with Dougal, love don't pay the rent.  Needless to say, Dougal is still smarting over that rejection.

So yeah, the heroine sounds like a total bitch, right?  But as a woman, you can understand it.  It's medieval Scotland.  As a woman if you don't marry well you're pretty much screwed (and not in a good way).  Having grown up in poverty, then throwing herself on the kindness of strangers to make a good match for her after her parents die -  it's not like she had a ton of options of throwing that all away just because she happened to be in love.  I suspect a lot of readers won't "like" her.  I'm not sure I always liked her - but I did understand her.

There's great emotional stuff here, and I loved that when Dougal thinks Celeste deceives him (again!) - his entire family rallies around him.  This was definitely my favorite story in the bunch.  Willingham packs a lot of angst in a short word count.

Grade = B

Yep, pretty much a standard anthology.  A story I didn't like, a story that I liked OK, and a story I liked quite a bit.  If you're a fan of Scottish historicals and looking for some new-to-you authors, this anthology isn't a bad way to go.

When Little Scotland Yard Runs Amok

Warning: This review contains minor spoilers.

I'm in the midst of "homework reading" for my library's annual literary event, and so far it's been a pleasant endeavor.  I often say that when doing "homework reading" of this nature, it is totally incidental if I personally "like" the book(s) or not.  I just need to be able to talk about them with other readers, and know enough to communicate with the author about said books.  But honestly, this whole thing is a lot more pleasant when I do like the books - and A Dangerous Liaison With Detective Lewis by Jillian Stone is a book I really wanted to like.  Alas, it ended up being a slog of a read for me and I skimmed large chunks of it.

Raphael "Rafe" Lewis is a detective for Scotland Yard and is called to the House Of Commons where the severed head and feet of a murdered MP are found.  Said MP was a self-made industrialist and Rafe's boss is wondering if this new crime has any connection to the "accidental" death of another industrialist up in Scotland a few days prior.  He sends Rafe up there to snoop around and to protect the heiress, Fanny Greyville-Nugent, who has publicly stated she plans to carry on her father's work.  The fly in the ointment?  Rafe and Fanny were childhood sweethearts, were actually engaged to be marry, Rafe broke her heart, and she called the whole thing off.

This is the second book in Stone's The Gentlemen Of Scotland Yard series and it stands alone very well.  The Victorian setting has a certain panache to it and I loved that she made the industrial revolution aspects of the era (which were very, very important and can sometimes be glossed over in Victorian historical romances!) such an integral part of the plot.

What didn't work so well for me?  Everything else.  Which is a major problem since first and foremost, this is a romance novel.  When I not only don't care about the main couple, but am at turns either bored or annoyed by them?  It doesn't go well.

Fanny and Rafe were torn apart by a misunderstanding perpetrated by a weaselly third party.  Honestly, given that they were extremely close childhood friends, and later sweethearts?  It takes surprisingly little to upend the apple cart.  And what does Rafe do in response to all of this?  He goes out for a night on the town and oopsie-daisy!  His dick falls into another woman.  He heads back to Scotland for, of all things, an engagement party, sucks on Fanny's face, then when her father catches them in this compromising position, Rafe confesses he's....well....already married.  Yeah, when his dick fell into that other woman?  She, naturally, got knocked up.  Fanny calls off the engagement and Rafe is now persona non-grata among the Greyville-Nugents and his own family.

I mean, really?!

To Fanny's credit, she realizes Rafe is there to protect her so even though she can't stand the sight of him, she doesn't fight him too much on that score.  The problem is she doesn't fight him at all.  There's a lot of banter.  She makes her anger known, somewhat.  But he charms and wheedles and my eyes roll back in my head.  Why Fanny doesn't just say, "Look, I know I need you to protect me but if you flirt with me, make eyes at me, or lay on the charm I'm going to find the nearest derringer and shoot off your Little Scotland Yard."

There's a lot of running around Scotland, and then running around England, all the while trying to uncover the plot of who is murdering prominent industrialists.  This was a halfway decent story, and one I was interested in - it just was helmed by a romantic couple that didn't work for me.  At all.  I have plans to read one more book in this series in the name of "homework reading."  Here's hoping that in the next go-around I get both an enjoyable plot and characters in the same book.

Final Grade = D+