Sunday, April 13, 2014

Dear Mr. Verlander

Dearest Justin,
Last night was your night.  The night it finally happened.  You not only got your first major league hit, but you got two major league hits and came around to score your first run.

I know, those silly National League teams.  Making pitchers have at-bats.  It's cruel.  It's unusual.  I'm pretty sure it defies the Geneva Conventions.  And as interleague play has rolled around every year, you've had to toil away at the plate and encounter nothing but futility.  You've had to contend with reporters pestering you with "So, is this the game you think you'll get your first major league hit?"

Now I know you're a professional athlete.  I know you are THE Justin Verlander.  I know you must work very hard at your job.  But let us reflect for a moment on WHY you got those first two major league hits and scored your first run all in the same game.

A game played a San Diego.

A game that THE Super Librarian, along with the added punch of the Super-Parents just happened to be in attendance for.

That's right Justin.  Ma, Pa and most importantly - me, me, me - just might be your good luck hitting charm.  I mean, I know you're rumored to be dating Kate Upton, but honestly what does she have that I don't have?



But was she ever RWA Librarian of the Year?  Can she create whole plots of Harlequin novels based on your teammates?  Oh sure, she may look OK in a bikini but really, what's more important to you?

Wait.  Don't answer that.

But hey, I was there Justin.  I was there for those two hits.  I think we both know that me being in the stands had everything to do with everything.  You know, just like in The Natural!

Just replace the hat with a tiara and add a cape.  You'll get the idea.



Anonymous said...

You weren't at Friday's game too were you? That one kind of sucked. At least for the Tigers. :)

Tracy Smith said...

I'm guessing he plans to never plat for a NL team? Not that pitchers in the NL are known for their hitting either. Lol

nath said...

LOL. You should get tickets for all the games he start :)

Sheri said...

Bwahahaha! Don't worry - Kate Upton won't last. I mean, Clooney keeps ditching women too - I know he's just waiting for me. :)

Lil Sis

Drea said...

"I know, those silly National League teams. Making pitchers have at-bats. It's cruel. It's unusual." It's the way the baseball gods intended the game to be played:D. I think it's clear from the evidence that you were the good luck charm!

Wendy said...

Kelly: No, thank goodness! Watching Friday's game on TV was bad enough!

Tracy: My Man loves the DH rule because pitchers hitting is "an automatic out that let's the other team's pitcher off the hook" He kind of has a point. Really guys - you're professional athletes - is a measly single too much to ask for?

Nath: Yes, yes I should. But then I'd quickly become broke :)

Sheri: This is the second go-around (supposedly) for Ms. Upton. At one point JV was with his college sweetheart. I'm sure Kate is a lovely girl, but I'll admit it - my esteem for Justin dimmed a bit when they got together. Really, a supermodel? How cliche can you get? A librarian would be so much more trend-setting :)

Drea: I know, right? I totally deserve my own private luxury box!