Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The HGH Epic

When I first heard about Sylvester Stallone's latest opus, The Expendables, my immediate thought was "Damn, I wish I lived closer to my Dad." This steaming pile of mindless action, explosions, HGH abuse, and inane dialogue is just BEGGING for me to watch it with my Dad, the connoisseur of action movies (the good, the bad and the really ugly). So imagine my shock when this movie actually opened well enough to still be in the theaters a month later. Dad took the day off work today so we could spend it together, and this is what we did. We saw The Expendables. And boy howdy, it was EPIC.

I'm not actually going to write a review, because honestly? Do you really need one? Oh, all right - here it is:

It's like Rambo, if Rambo was a "people person."

That's pretty much it.

There's a bunch of guys running around throwing knives, shooting guns, bustin' out the Kung Fu, bad-guy-decapitation, a bunch of stuff blowing up and/or catching on fire. There's a token appearance by the governor of the state where I currently live, and the best "acting" in the whole movie is done by Bruce Willis, whose cameo lasts all of 5 minutes.

But as any action movie watcher will tell you, there are many subtle levels of bad. This movie was exactly what I thought it was going to be. Basically bad with some laughably terrible dialogue....but still watchable in an odd, how many hits did I take off that crack pipe?, sort of way. And heck, after watching part of The Prince Of Persia on DVD last week with My Man, The Expendables is like Gone With The Frickin' Wind in comparison. Uh, except with more HGH. And explosions. And decapitations. And knife throwing.

If that ain't quality Daddy/Daughter time, I'm not sure what is.

14 comments:

EC Sheedy said...

I liked this movie, too. I was amazed at all the crappy reviews it got. It was flat-out fun, and it was much more character driven than many others of this ilk.

Sarai said...

My mom actually wanted to see it for her bday on Sunday. The fact that she referred it as the "movie with the old people in it" was enough for me to sit through it. I actually rather enjoyed it which is weird in its own right...

oldbitey said...

Much is said about Mother-Daughter time so thank you for putting in a plug for Daddy-Daughter time. I (sniff) miss regular D&D time, since my dad lives on the other side of the world. However, when we're together we hit the crackalicious cheesy Sci Fi Epics. This is the man who taught me to love Star Trek, Star Wars, AND the original 80's version of V.

Thanks for making me think of my dad. He's made me the geek I am today.

Mayberry Mom said...

Saw this with the hubs. He doesn't mind chick flicks and I like action movies so we don't usually argue over which movies to see.

I have to admit that I spent a good portion of the movie looking to my left and letting him tell me when it was safe to look.

But yeah, I liked it. Weird.

Dev said...

I really want to see this one...unfortunately, it'll more than likely be after it comes out on DVD.

CindyS said...

So sweet! My dad is the western movie guy and the number of times I could have killed him when a movie ended is too numerous to count. Cause in the end, my dad likes movies where everybody dies in the end - explains my love of romance novels! But if a sci-fi movie comes out I try and gauge whether my dad would like to head to the theater with us to see it. I'm thinking the next movie with Bruce Willis (I almost saw this movie only because I saw him in the pre-view) is called REDS I think - looks awesome and perfectly silly!

cindyS

Lynn M said...

Feeling stupid - what's HGH?

And to add to my lameness, I actually liked "Prince of Persia". Granted, a good 90% of my liking was based on Jake Gyllenhaal whom I could be happy watching do his taxes, so I request a pass on my bad taste.

Wendy said...

Lynn: HGH = Human Growth Hormone. This is actually the stuff a lot of athletes are using when they get nabbed for "steroids" these days. I want to say around the time the last Rambo movie was wrapping up, Stallone got caught with it at some foreign airport. Thailand?

Lil Sis said...

Aw, I want to go see a bad action movie with Dad!! :( I suffered through Transformers 2 with him. :) This movie did REALLY well at the box office though - I figured it was mindless action fun. I am waiting for video - I need to see my "across the pond bf Jason Statham." :)

Kee B. said...

I loved that you went to the movies with your Dad. I went to the movies (sadly, not this one) with my pre-teen son this weekend. It wasn't our first Mother/Son date, but he still hovers between being embarrassed to be seen with his mom and being happy to watch the movie of his choice. He enjoyed himself more this time when I pointed out that of the 5 groups of people in our theatre-3 were Mother/Son dates. They were all about his age, too.

I have yet to tell him that I haven't liked any of his movie choices. Hopefully, I will be going to movies I don't like for years to come.

Ann Bruce said...

I'm hoping for more Bruce Willis in the sequel. Oh, yes. There will be a sequel.

marelou said...

I wanted to see this -- you know, for my annual dose of testosterone macho flicks. It's also interesting to see how these "buff" actors" have aged, mellowed or rotted, whichever. So sorry now that I missed it. But I'm soo happy to hear that you enjoyed your time with your dad.

nath said...

LOL, sounds like you had a great time with your dad, Wendy :) Luck you. Hmmm, wonder if my dad would like to see it :P He's not a connaissoir like your dad though...

Mayberry Mom said...

"Hopefully, I will be going to movies I don't like for years to come."

I love that!