Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Oh Sweet Jesus, My Eyes!

I swear by all that is holy (chocolate, a good bottle of cheap wine, and six-pack abs on a hunky guy) that I came across this...this...thing while visiting one of our libraries today.

Isn't it horrifying? The colors! The poor man's imitation of Picasso! The....the....

Well the just plain wrong.

If this isn't proof that romance does not hold the market share on crappy cover art than nothing will. I'm thinking of actually making flyers up of this bad boy and handing them out at RWA.
"The next time some sneers at the man-titty, just give them one of these."
Gah!

22 comments:

iasa said...

All it needs is one of those black and white swirly hypnotic things spinning on his ass.

lisabea said...

WANT.

I want it. It's true.

Nikki said...

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is horrific!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!

Wendy said...

Iasa wins! Seriously, funniest comment....EVER!

Lisabea: Well it's still in print, and it looks like there are used copies going cheap over at Amazon. In the meantime, Rosie and I need to put our heads together and come up with some de-programming ideas for you.

Nikki: To make it even more precarious? This book was on the top shelf, so I was standing on a library kick-stool when I found it. I'm lucky the force of the horrific cover didn't propel me off the stool and into the shelving unit across the room.

Renee said...

OK, so that ties with last week's cover over at katibab's The Pussy EaterI think there should be some kind of head to head competition between these two.

Now, what gives this one the edge is that it was located where the general public might actually see it.

C2 said...

OMG What is up with the person (?) in bed? Is he/she/it wounded??

Tracy said...

Words escape me. That is just WRONG!

LoriK said...

I'm pretty sure that I can see where they were going with this cover, but they just didn't get there. Or anywhere in the neighborhood of there.

I clicked on the Pussy Eater link and really wish that I hadn't. If this book & that one had an awful cover competition that one gets my vote, no question.

BigDaddy said...

I can not believe that my daughter would even look at that kind of cover. Where did you I go wrong?
Be prepared for THE lecture when your mother and I arrive for vacation. Dad

azteclady said...

smartass parafeminist psycho-erotic thriller?

huh?

Renee: "there should be some kind of head to head"

heh, really?

Samanthadelayed said...

I swear to God, I never needed to see that. ;)

LOL

Renee said...

azteclady: glad to know I'm not the only one whose mind works that way. lol

HelenKay Dimon said...

I can't even tell what genre that's supposed to be. Thriller? Well, I am kind of scared so maybe it does work on some level

JenB said...

The chick in bed looks like she's preparing for a mammogram. Perhaps this is some kind of kinky hospital in which the x-ray techs perform mammos in the nude?

limecello said...

I hate you because someone re-tweeted your post and I was dumb enough to click.

I think my eyes were burned out and I need them to study. :P

Amy said...

Oh. My. God. My eyes, my eyes!!!

That's all I'm sayin'...

A Library Girl said...

Ick. It looks like the artist was attempting to capture "erotic" and instead ended up with "scary/hilarious with color barfed all over it."

Have you seen All About Romance's yearly cover contests? (Scroll down - they're nearly at the bottom of the page) I absolutely love looking at the winners and various runners up for the "worst cover" category. Plus, the commentary on those covers has had me in tears with laughter. The covers run the gamut - cheesy, awkward, garish, physically impossible, or just bad in ways that words cannot accurately describe.

Victoria Janssen said...

I'm really curious about the book now.

nath said...

Ugh, it's quite bad indeed. What were the ppl thinking, choosing that as a cover?!?

Wendy said...

Big Daddy:
OK, not my book! I was a victim in all of this! Honest! That being said, um, please avoid going through my book collection while you're staying in the Bat Cave in a couple of weeks. There are some things a father just doesn't need to know about his daughter. Oh, like some of the books I like to read.

Everyone Else: A couple of you asked what this book is about. It's kind of a genre bender. Part mystery, part humor, part send-up of chick lit. I think. I was so blinded by the cover art that my brain couldn't really process the cover blurb completely.....

Cathy in AK said...

Well, it's certainly...colorful.

The grey curlicue shadowy bits on the guy's back make him look furry and, god help me, I immediately thought of Robin Williams. From the description of the genre (such that it is) he may be the perfect hero for this book.

Wendy said...

A Library Girl: I am a massive ho when it comes to cover art. Love it, hate it, I like to gawk at all of it....so yeah, I always follow the cover contest. I think I might have even gotten quoted one year - but dang if I can remember what year and what book. I do know it was a "good cover" though.

Cathy: Thanks. Thank you so much for the Robin Williams suggestion. Now, could someone pass the brain bleach? LOL