Sunday, September 28, 2008

Little Miss Crabby Pants Talks Baseball

Regular readers here at the Bat Cave can breathe a heavy sigh of relief because baseball's regular season is now officially over.

Well, almost.

In what is surely a result of the gods laughing and pointing at me, my worthless, craptastic, Detroit Tigers (you know, the team that 99.9% of the commentators were telling me would win the World Series this year) is officially in the basement of the American League Central division.

We're not even at .500 for cripes sake.

But wait, we're not done yet. Because the Minnesota Twins have dinked around the last couple of weeks, Detroit has to make up a game with the Chicago White Sox to determine who wins the division. Tigers win, Twins win the division. Tigers preform to my expectations and suck balls? The White Sox win the division. See editorial note at end of post.

And trust me folks, nobody except dirty Chicago White Sox fans want to see that happen.

Know how much I loathe the Yankees? Yeah, I hate the White Sox more. Yeah, I know. I didn't think it was possible either.

I can't believe it's come to this. Me hoping my crappy ass team holds it together so the Twins (who I actually kind of like despite the division rivals thing) can win the division, go to the playoffs, and very likely get knocked out in the first round.

Seriously, there's some kind of irony here, I'm just too lazy and frustrated to go looking for it.

So while I'm at work tomorrow, I'll be following the game online (day game, wouldn't ya know it?), and waiting to see how it all shakes down for the Tigers in the off-season. Hey, we already beat the Christmas rush and fired two of our coaches.

But I need to suck it up (and break out my set of Chicago White Sox team voodoo dolls), because after all, there is no crying in baseball. Plus hope springs eternal and all that.

Edited: Little Miss Crabby Pants got ahead of herself in her rabid rant and Nonnie corrected her in the comments. If the Tigers suck eggs tomorrow and the White Sox win ::shudder::, they then have to play a tie-breaker with the Twins on Tuesday to decide the division. If the Tigers pull a miracle out of their butts, the division goes to the Twins and my faith in humanity is restored.


Lil Sis said...

I love Bitty Schram - she was great on Monk. I stopped watching when she left and they got that annoying skinny blonde! :(

Nonnie said...

First time commenter here...I've been following you for a while, as I like your view on books, but I have to tell you, you're wrong. LOL! If the Tigers play a craptastic game tomorrow, the Sox do NOT win the division. The Twins and the Sox will end up playing Tuesday to determine who wins the division. As a Twinkie fan, I truly hope that the Tigers can pull one out, even if they get knocked out in the first round. This is par for the course for the Twinkies though...every year they let it get down to the last game or two. I hope your voodoo works on the Sox!

Nikki said...

Baseball movies are the best! And this one is right at the top. I use the phrase "There's no crying in sixth grade!" all the time! I wonder where I got that? And Bitty Schram was wonderful in this one.
Ad finally, I'm really sorry about your sorry a$$ Tigers.
oh wait, did I say that out loud?

Wendy said...

I stand corrected! Thanks Nonnie! Honestly, I stuck the fork in my team in early August, which means my baseball watching went from "All The Damn Time" to "Nil."

I'm going to correct my blog post right now.

Holly said...

I'm not big on baseball, but I just adore your Little Miss Crabby Pants pictures. haha

Kristie (J) said...

OMG I love that scene!!
"There's no crying in baseball!" Such a classic.
And for the life of me I can't really figure out the convoluted way they have to finish. Since the Jays are out *sigh* the Yankees are out *yea* and the Tigers are out *sigh* and the Red Sox are in *sob* I'll just route for the Rays.
As for the National League - well I don't know if you hate the Cubs or not - but I kinda have to hope for them though I don't follow the National League as much.

Wendy said...

The Yankees not making the playoffs is always reason to celebrate.

Like you, I barely follow the NL - so my "go to" team for the playoffs are the Cubbies. Also, I'm hoping the Brewers (who got the Wild Card spot) do well. Bob Uecker is their play-by-play radio guy, and I love me some Bob Uecker. Maybe if the Brewers play decently they'll trot ol' Bob out on TV.....

Lynn/Elsandra said...

I'm also a "twinkie" fan so I'm hoping Detroit can pull one out for us. Back when there were only two divisions in the two leagues I was a big Detroit fan, I still root for them except when they are playing the Twins. I chuckled when I read Nonnie's post, the Twins do make it a habit of squeaking into the playoffs then royally fall apart. Here's to both teams doing much better next year and maybe they'll be battling each other at the end for the division championship.

Kati said...

I *LOVE* that scene! That one, and the scene in Bull Durham where Crash calls the ump a cocksucker.

Soooo great!

I'm sorry to hear about your team. If it makes you feel any better, I believe that the Nats are worse.

Think like a Redskins fan, "There's always next year." And now you can root for or against anyone you want without getting heartburn.

Anonymous said...

Wendy--I'm not much of a baseball fan (the only true sport to follow is football) and can't stand the Sox fans but my husband and sons are rabid Cubs. Believe me this town would go CRAZY if both teams made the playoffs. Since its been a hundred years since the CUBS won the world series, you got to admit if your favorite team can't win the poor Cubs deserve a shot at victory--don't break my guys hearts again. The southsiders may be assholes but you can't imagine what this town would do if both teams were playing--it would just close down til the world series are over. (And NO ONE can be worse than the Yankees!)

Kelly C. said...

As a fellow fan of the craptastic Tigers (who at least have a great owner) and the just plain crappy Lions ... All I can say is :

THANK GOD for the Pistons and my much (be)loved Red Wings! :-)

Shannon said...


Sorry, I had to shed some final tears over the utter craptasticness that was my Cubbies. My boys completely fell apart. Hell, they didn't fall apart, they handed to frickin series to Tampa. TAMPA!

The only thing that makes it bearable is the fact that the White Sox are out of it too. Thank God. I could not handle another post season full of Southsider gloating.

I feel your pain. And share your hatred.