Thursday, May 15, 2008

Dear Human Excrement

Dear Flaming Pile Of Dog Shit:

Thank you so much for hacking not only into my Yahoo e-mail account, but my Amazon account as well. I'm sure sending me into a state of panic was a nice way for you to break up your busy day of sitting in your mom's basement, eating microwave burritos and playing World Of Warcraft. Since you obviously haven't gotten laid, ever, I'm so pleased that I was able to add a little jolly excitement to your day.

Please be advised that I have it on good authority that there is a special place in Hell for ass wipes such as yourself and I've already contacted a voodoo priestess to put a hex on your balls. I wasn't entirely sure at first, given that you're obviously not using them and will likely not miss them, but she seems pretty knowledgeable and I'm nothing if not determined. Expect them to shrivel up and fall off any day now.

Sincerely,
The Super Librarian

PS - If anyone out in cyberspace got any weirdo e-mails from me and/or you sent me something of importance that I never responded to, please resend. On the bright side, once I found their customer service number, Yahoo was extremely helpful. My Amazon account is currently frozen, and I'm still awaiting word. Now I'm off to verify that other accounts are still intact.....

9 comments:

Kristie (J) said...

Shriveled up balls and the inability to 'get it up' isn't quite enough is it? May it turn black and fall off!

You have my deepest sympathies 'cause it is such a violation.

Katiebabs a.k.a KB said...

RAT SUCKING BASTARD!!

sula said...

oh man! that sucks so bad. what a scum-sucking sack of shite. pffft.

Alie said...

Oh no! That's horrible that happened. It's such a violation. On the other hand, your post about it was hilarious :)

Rosie said...

I just want to know if he/she is human excrement or that of the flaming dog variety. Perhaps both?

So sorry about this. I'd freak and then probably commit a capital crime on some poor unsuspecting innocent bystander.

Although, is ANYone truly innocent any more?

Is your email addy going to change?

azteclady said...

Holy cow, Wendy!

I hope the guy gets genital herpes on top of that. Oh man, I'm so sorry

Wendy said...

Rosie: They're both.

E-mail is still the same. Password is totally, totally different now though, a lot more complicated, and I'm using different passwords for all of my accounts.....

Janicu said...

It might be a good idea to tell people in your address book that this happened. This happened to someone I know - her cousin sent her a link and she clicked because she didn't know his email had been hacked - if he'd let people know she wouldn't have trusted a link from him.

Karen Scott said...

Bastards.