Thursday, November 16, 2006

My Back-Up Plans

Thirteen Jobs Wendy Would Want If She Wasn't A Librarian

1. Professional Book Reviewer. Not likely to happen since if we are paid, we aren't paid a living wage. Still, I'm looking for the job that would pay me to sit on my butt and read books all day. Contrary to popular belief, librarian ain't it.

2. Crime fiction writer. Think pulp with cool, retro cover art and titles like I Was A Teenage Dope Fiend. The only thing holding me back is talent.

3. Big band musician. Once upon a time I could play a decent saxophone. The operative word here being "decent." I was also smart enough to know that I liked eating and having a place to live that wasn't a cardboard box.

4. Trophy wife smart enough to not sign a pre-nup. This is self-explainatory me thinks.

5. Earl Grey. OK, minor detail that I'm a girl, not British, and therefore can't be an Earl. I just think it's cool that he had a tea named after him.

6. Back-up singer to Marvin Gaye. OK, so he was murdered in 1984 and this is impossible. Really, I just want to be one of the girls singing on Stubborn Kind Of Fellow.

7. Gladys Knight. Sure being able to sing like that would be great, but I'm mainly in it for the Pips. I've always wanted Pips.

8. Lounge singer in cheesey Vegas night club just off the strip. I'd start with the Neil Sedaka songbook.

9. Official Cheesecake Taster for The Cheesecake Factory. I'm just looking for an excuse here.

10. Official Chocolate Taster for Cadbury. Again, just looking for an excuse.

11. Harlequin Library Rep. Frankly, I don't think they have a clue on how to market to libraries. Not their fault - they've built that company on retail and direct-to-consumer. They need me, and they just don't know it.

12. Queen of the Harlequin Spice Line. I've read 3 out of the 5 titles published so far. They need me. They desperately need me. At the very least they should try to hire someone away from Black Lace.

13. Bat Girl for the Detroit Tigers. Frankly I think it's age discrimination that they don't allow women in their 30s to be Bat Girls.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


Gypsy said...

Great list! #1 is why I became an editor.

Alison Kent said...

I was SO excited about Spice. I love working with Harlequin, but now I'm so confused. I haven't read any of the books, but the reports on them are so mixed!

Maili said...

*laugh* Love the list, especially the Crime Writer bit. You got me on the book title.

Rosie said...

The only thing holding me back is talent.

I'm still laughing.